This one-shot contains spoilers for Volume 10 of Vampire Game. If you haven't read that far and don't want me to give away any part of the story, please do not read farther than this introduction. Or if you simply do not care, then keep reading. Best wishes to you.
Inconsolable
By
Samanda Hime-sama
Too bad that'll never happen. What a lovely dream. It was nice while it lasted.
-Princess Ishtar,Volume 10
Duzell couldn't believe his ears. "What?"
"It's over, Duzie." Ishtar looked up at him with puffy, red eyes.
Duzell stood awkwardly near Ishtar's bed. "I can't believe he refused an offer of marriage to you. Doesn't he see what you feel for him?"
"Of course he knows." Ishtar's voice was flat. "Yuujel told him when he explained how he concocted this plan."
Duzell stared into her dry eyes. "Then why hasn't he snatched up this opportunity?"
"Darres isn't like you or I, Duzie. Darres is the only honest man I know." Ishtar spoke sadly.
Sometimes Ishtar thought of him as the only honest man in all of Pheliosta. But that was simply her cynical side talking. Ishtar had been surrounded all her life by liars, flatterers, assassins and toadies. Was it any wonder that she fell for the only man disgusted with all of that?
As a child she had run to him for the kindness he gave without expecting anything in return. He also gave her the truth that no one else would. That is why he became special to her in the first place. He protected her, kept her safe and treated her as a normal child. Something else that no other person she had known had even tried to do for her.
A child's trust and love for her protector became the base for more as Ishtar grew older. It mingled with the more tender feelings a woman felt for the one she loved. But even as she loved him, Ishtar despaired. She couldn't marry anyone that didn't have royal blood flowing through his veins. More than that, she knew that Darres did not love her as anything but his future queen.
But Duzell came into her life. Ishtar gleefully turned his new life upside down in search of Phelios and new adventures to keep herself from pining for Darres. Ishtar sometimes took shameless advantage in putting herself in danger so Darres could rescue her. (Sometimes it was just a bi-product of Ishtar not thinking straight.) She did this each time to jerk him into feeling something more personal for her. But it had yet to work.
Duzell was silent for a few minutes. "What are you going to do now?"
Ishtar laughed. "Nothing. I love him and I always will. But he doesn't love me."
Duzell winced. Ishtar's laugh had a sharp edge to it that cut at his heart. "You're giving up."
It was Ishtar's turn to wince at the statement. "Maybe. I don't know."
Her eyes were puffy and red from crying after Darres had left. Ishtar had cried all the tears that she had in her but it wasn't enough. It would never be enough. A sob forced its way up and escaped through her mouth but not tears made their way down her face. Her tear ducts were empty.
Alarmed, Duzell caught her in a hug as he tried to comfort her. At first, Ishtar was limp against his shoulder but after a moments her arms went around his back. Duzell didn't give her the usual platitudes about how everything would work out. Powerless to give her what she wanted, he stayed silent and in the end that was what Ishtar needed the most.
"You are free of all duties as my bodyguard." Ishtar's tone was unlike anything that any had heard before.
Darres was stunned at the turn of events. "Princess?"
"You heard me." Ishtar snapped at him. "You are still Captain of my guard but I am relieving you of all duties concerning my person. The same goes for Jill and Krai. I want new bodyguards selected at once, Sir Keld."
Sir Keld was apologetic. "It will take some time to train new ones, my Lady."
"Fine." Ishtar's head was turned away from them. "Then train someone immediately. I'll be in my quarters."
Sir Keld bowed as Ishtar left the room. Jill and Krai looked at each other with their normal puzzlement then dismissed Ishtar's actions with a shrug. Darres jerked his head towards the door, giving a sign Jill and Krai to give him some privacy with the princess. Jill had to drag Krai towards the door but he did so with Keld closing the door behind them.
"What the hell is going on?" Darres demanded of Ishtar.
Ishtar wouldn't give him eye contact. "You know."
"No, I don't." Darres was frustrated. "I thought everything would go back to being the same after I declined becoming part of such a big lie."
Ishtar was still. "You declined letting Yuujel claim you as a brother and everything that came with it, including marriage to me. How could I not be hurt by that? You know how I feel about you."
To this, Darres had no answer. And honestly, Ishtar didn't expect him to reply to her statement. She looked as still as a statue as she sat on a throne she had never wanted. Only the slight rise and fall of her chest indicated that she was alive.
"Princess..." Darres was still at a loss.
She had to keep reminding herself to breathe, despite the pain she felt from her broken heart. Her entire chest felt like it was full shards of glass that stabbed her with each breath. So she breathed as shallowly as possible in order to minimize the pain she felt. She hated the jagged pain it caused her because it was a reminder that she was unwanted by him. But she also welcomed it for it told her that she was still alive and able to feel something.
"Just go, Darres." Ishtar managed and turned to look him in the face. "I need time."
Darres didn't push any farther. Her eyes were fell of torment and despair. He knew that he could make those emotions disappear with three words that would make her happy. But those three words were something that he didn't feel. And the honest Darres would not lie. He wouldn't lie for the hand of the princess who loved him, or even for a throne.
Darres honored her wishes as he left the room and made his way to his private quarters.
It soon became clear that Ishtar was not herself.
Most of the time she stayed in her quarters unless needed for some event or a lesson. She didn't cause any problems for any of the castle staff. She didn't sneak out to play in the fields or hide away where the palace guards couldn't find her. In short, Ishtar was acting rather strangely to anyone who knew her.
Ishtar made a show of being her old self in front of Falan. Falan became worried and mentioned something to Vord. Vord picked up on Falan's worry and contacted Yuujel, who might have some idea what to do. Yuujel had engineered the scheme to throw them together and felt responsible for it backfiring. Despite his grief over his mother's death, Yuujel came back to Pheliosta to salvage what he could of the situation between Ishtar and Darres.
"Princess." Yuujel bowed to her.
A small smile touched Ishtar's lips but didn't reach her eyes. "Yuujel. Always a pleasure to see you. How is everyone in Zi Alda?"
"Ashley and Leene are coping with each other." Yuujel spoke. "Lucy is as kind and obstinate as ever."
Ishtar glanced at the people around her. "Out. I wish to speak to my cousin alone."
"But, Princess..." A guard was hesitant.
"Out." Ishtar repeated. "If he wanted to kill me, he would have done so when he was my magic teacher."
Reluctantly, the two new guards ushered everyone out. At a nod from Yuujel, Keld left as well. A frosty glance from Yuujel's eyes got rid of the guards in a hurry. He looked back to see a small smile playing on Ishtar's lips.
"How handy. I wish they would listen to me like that." Ishtar spoke, then said hesitantly. "Condolences on your recent loss."
"Our loss." Yuujel corrected her.
Compassionate, she nodded. "Our loss. I miss Aunt Sonia deeply."
"As do I." Yuujel's voice was sorrowful.
A silence stretched out between them. Yuujel finally broke it. "And how are you?"
"Don't play dumb." Ishtar's voice was flat as she stood up and paced the floor. "Since you are here, you must already know."
"Is it that bad?" Yuujel wanted to know.
Ishtar stopped in front of him. "Yes." She said quietly. "It was much better when it was simply a dream."
"I'm sorry." Yuujel's voice was also quiet. "I never thought that it would come out like this. I thought he loved you as much as you love him."
Ishtar bit her lips to hold back her tears. "But he does, Yuujel. As a sister and as a queen. But never as I wished for. Not as a lover, never as a wife."
Yuujel gathered her into his arms. "I'm sorry for my part in this. I should never have interfered."
"No, this isn't your fault." Ishtar clutched at his shirt. "It was inevitable that I would discover it. At least I'm not alone in this. You love him too."
Yuujel became motionless. "You know?"
"It was clear to me." Ishtar sniffled and dug for her handkerchief.
Yuujel smiled in his usual mysterious way. "What are you going to do?"
"Assign Darres to guard you." Ishtar said with usual mischievousness as she wiped away tears.
Yuujel remained serious although he cracked a smile. "I meant about Darres."
"Darres is an honest man." Ishtar's smile was a little wobbly. "I suppose things will stay as they are now. At least until something comes to change it. But I do know one thing."
"I loves Darres and might always love him." Ishtar paused. "The future is something that no one can see. I love him more than my own life."
"But you have to try to move beyond it." Yuujel reminded her.
She nodded. "But it's so hard! Will you help me? Since we're in the same boat, I mean."
"Of course, Princess." Yuujel said gently.
Ishtar said with a wicked smile. "I still might make Darres your personal bodyguard."
"We'll just see about that." Yuujel said.
But Ishtar's smile dissolved. She burst into tears like her broken heart demanded. "Darres." She cried out the name of the one she longed for as Yuujel tried to comfort her.
Inconsolable, she wailed her sorrow. Then screamed it. "Darres!"
Fini