Wake Me Up Inside
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Chapter Five
Banes of my existence
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"Remmie!" The moment Remus stepped out of the fireplace his mother pulled him into a tight hug. A moment later she let him go and brushed some invisible dust from her dress, muttering about dirty fireplaces.
Remus rolled his eyes. If there was even a speck of dirt in this house his mother would have some kind of seizure, he didn't doubt that for a moment. She was horrible anal about that type of thing, so much so that all three of her children were compulsive neat freaks, so they wouldn't have to listen to her whine.
Remus blamed all of his various issues on his parents.
The first of which was his irrational hatred of being called 'Remmie'. Yes, Sirius and James and Peter called him that but only because they look a perverse sort of delight in watching him twitch. (Besides, it was only fair that if he called them Siri, Jamie, and Petey that they be allowed to torment him back.)
"So, Remus, where is your boyfriend?" Raven asked twirling a strand of curly brown around one of her fingertips. She was the oldest child at twenty, but also the pride and joy. Romulus brought up a close second though.
Remus…well, Remus was Remus. He could never be anything except the black sheep of the family, the child they frowned over, clucked about, and always glossed over in conversation. Even when he'd made Prefect his parents had regarded him with the same sort of thinly veiled shame they always reserved just for him.
He'd pretty much given up after that.
Raven was smart, pretty, proper, and a gossip. Basically a miniature slightly ditzy version of their mother. Remus liked her even less then he liked Romulus, which was a big thing. And the only reason he preferred Romulus was because he was his twin and, before his brother had become a manwhore, he had been a decent person.
And even if he hadn't been that twin…connection was something that even years of hatred couldn't put a dent into. That's why he would be the hardest to fool.
"I told him about you and he ran away." Remus deadpanned while quirking an eyebrow at her. Romulus snorted from his corner of the room. Rebecca was nowhere to be seen, but Remus just assumed a servant had seen her to her quarters.
One of the few things they still had in common was a mutual dislike for Raven and her beyond haughty ways. It would be one thing if she were just the typical Lupin family snob; it was totally different if she was a snob with intelligence to back it up.
Raven made a face at him and started to retort when her eyes flickered behind Remus. Remus turned slightly to see Sirius standing behind him, a slightly bemused expression on his face. He imagined Sirius would look like that a lot for the next three weeks.
Perfectly understandable, since Remus' immediate family was all standing in the parlor, which was…well…so expensively furnished it was laughable. The cottage itself was much the same, save Remus' rooms, which were pretty simple and basic. Mostly because he had hoped never to come back here after the last family gathering and hadn't taken the time to really 'move in' to the space he was given. Clearly that had been wishful thinking on his part.
Damn it.
"If it isn't Remus' little friend, Sirius." His father's smile was obviously fake and totally plastered on and even then it looked strained, almost like he was in pain. "You remember Regina, Remus had him and those other two boys over for Christmas dinner."
Remus loved it. He wondered if that mad him sick, taking pleasure in his parents' obvious discomfort. If so he blamed them for that as well. Life was really a lot less complex when he didn't take responsibility for his own faults. It cut down on the long hours of teenage angsting late at night while staring at the ceiling and thinking about the annoyance he called life.
"Yes, it is." His mother blinked. "How…nice to see you again, Sirius. But I thought you knew the rules Remus, no friends."
"I know. Sirius is my date." Remus said smiling at the thunderstruck looks on his parents' faces. Raven just looked bored and Romulus was…indifferent seemed to be a good word for it. His parents recovered quickly.
He hadn't expected any less of them. They were almost as good at this little game as he was. He couldn't be outright aggressive with them, but he'd learned all of the loopholes to use and all of the right buttons to push and…well, it made life interesting.
"Really? How long has Sirius been your…date?" His mother asked. She was clutching her wine glass a little too tightly. It was going to break any minute now. He gave it two minutes. His mother wasn't a big woman or overly strong looking, but all of the emotion she kept bottled up tended to come out in the most amusing of ways.
"Around Christmas." Remus said easily. Sirius was standing right behind him, close enough that it couldn't be misinterpreted as just…friendly contact, but not touching so much his father would break out his wand.
"While you were at home?" Wow. He hadn't realized his father had a vein in his temple that throbbed when he was upset. Apparently the idea that he could have started a relationship under his roof was causing him to achieve new levels of anger.
He shrugged. "Around that time."
"And you didn't say anything?" Raven asked, blue eyes skeptical. Like he would have told her even if he and Sirius were really going out.
"I didn't want to jinx it. Unlike you, I'd like to have a guy around for longer then it took him to get me in bed." His voice took on a noticeable cold edge. Raven looked scandalized and sat up from her place on the couch, ready to retort.
"You shouldn't say such things about your sister." His mother scolded. Her grip on her glass hadn't increased, but it hadn't lessened either.
"But…they're true." Remus crossed his arms over his chest daring someone to argue with him. No one did, but his father frowned.
"You know, your sister's new boyfriend is here as well."
"So you swore not to put out unless he came with you?" Remus asked.
"You loudmouthed little-"
"Raven!" Their mother said, a hand over her heart. For a moment Remus thought that the woman might pass out due to being exposed to anything other then perfection within her family. She was either very deluded or very drunk. It was hard to be sure which.
The girl bared her teeth angrily, not that Remus cared. His were longer anyway…great, his family was starting to make him take pleasure in the fact he was a freak of nature. Bloody fantastic. Raven flounced out, managing to keep her mouth shut.
It wouldn't last once Remus got out of the room and away from their parents.
"Why can't you be nicer to your sister?"
"…Because I don't like her." Remus said after a moment of thought. "Come on Sirius, I'll show you to my room."
"He'll be staying in the adjoining bedroom right?" Mr. Lupin asked, one hand clenching at his side, as if the very thought of Sirius sharing a room with his son was the worst thing imaginable.
"But Pere, I was hoping for a long night of wild, sweaty, noisy sex." Remus said, looking at the ceiling and noticing it was freshly painted. His mother turned a nice shade of purple, and Romulus choked on, as far as Remus could tell, air. He could feel Sirius smiling at him and it made a warm flush spread over his body. "Yes, he's sleeping in the other room."
He and Sirius left the room before anything else could be said and, with an annoyed sigh, Remus headed down the hallway that lead to the back door of the cottage.
"That…was enlightening."
Remus blinked at Sirius over his shoulder. "It was?"
"I don't think I've ever seen you stand up for yourself before."
Remus nodded, because it was true. As far as school went Sirius and James usually defended him and Peter from the Slytherins, who were the only people they had issues with. Peter because the youngest boy…wasn't the most…capable person in the world. And Remus because, quite frankly, he was afraid to get mad at people. Even though he only changed at the moon, sometimes he could feel…the wolf right below the surface of his skin, begging to get out and rip anyone within ten meters of him to shreds for daring to look at him, let alone speak to him like they did.
It was easier to not give into the impulse if he wasn't upset.
"With my family it's different. I know, no matter how much I think I would like to, I'll never hurt them, because they're my family." And if there was anything his wolf took seriously, it was family.
And there didn't seem to be any major complaints in his attempt to get Sirius. One a few occasions his beast had been pretty…against anyone he might have a crush on.
Not that Remus could talk to the wolf, he could just imagine how his friends would take something like that, it was more of a feeling. A connection almost.
Remus led Sirius to the back of the house and outside. His father's 'cottage' was the only one with two floors, mostly because Remus needed the space when it got close to a full moon. Remus didn't mind being distanced from his family, the more room the better. He was still holding out hope one day they'd forget he was up there.
Sirius stayed right behind him as he jogged up the steps to the porch. It was an old wooden wrap around deal and a few chairs were scattered about it, not that Remus particularly cared. He spent most of his time inside reading anyway.
He pushed open the door and walked inside. He stopped so suddenly at what he found that Sirius collided with his back and nearly knocked him over. The older boy grabbed him by the waist and pulled his against him. Remus closed his eyes for a moment, enjoying the warmth that seeped from the younger teen. Then he coughed, gathered his wits, and laid his customary glare at the two sitting on his couch.
"Shannon, Eden, how the hell did you get up here?"
Shannon smiled, showing off a row of perfectly straight teeth, before brushing a strand of blond hair from his eyes. "Your mother let us in. We so wanted to meet your boyfriend before dinner."
"If I had a wand I would hex the two of you out of the nearest window." Remus said tone taking on the annoyed deadpan it always did when he was forced to deal with his relatives. "Now, if you two would kindly get the hell out."
The darker haired girl, Shannon's younger sister Eden, frowned. "You know, Remmie," He twitched at the pet name. "Sometimes I'm sure you don't like us."
"And sometimes I'm sure you're an idiot and then you go and surprise me with an insight like that." Remus drawled before pointing at the door. "Get out."
"Fine." Shannon said, standing up. Eden looked unhappy but slunk out after her brother, pausing for a moment to give Sirius a once over followed by an appreciative grin. Sirius shrunk back, not liking the way she was looking at him in the least.
Remus stepped between them, glowering heatedly. She pouted again, lower lip trembling, before turning and walking out, hips swaying what may have been enticingly. Remus couldn't say for sure because it certainly wasn't doing anything for him.
He glanced back at Sirius, to see if he'd noticed, and found his friend looked borderline traumatized. He probably wasn't used to family members blatantly flirting with the people others brought home.
"…My family is kind of screwed up." Remus muttered finally stomping further into the room.
"Kind of?"
"…Really?"
Sirius laughed softly and continued to trail at his heels. "It's okay. It's like being with my family… Minus my crazy mother of course."
He pushed open the double doors, which were painted white with golden accents, and headed down the hall. There were four rooms on this floor. The front room, obviously, then the bathroom which was on one side of the hall, and the two adjoining bedrooms on the other side. (Remus rather liked the bathroom actually. It was roughly the size of the two bedrooms, which seemed borderline ridiculous, but it had its upsides.)
He turned into the second bedroom, which was the one he'd be using. He pushed open the two large glass doors that lead to the porch, airing out the room. The furniture was covered with white sheets, save the four-poster bed he'd be sleeping in. At the other end of the room was a door, which led to the other bedroom, where Sirius would be sleeping.
"You know I'm starting to think you don't need my help dealing with your family." Sirius said, watching Remus grab the sheets.
The brunette smiled ruefully. "Sixteen years of this has built up a defensive barrier, but eventually they manage to break me down. It's constant talking about how I don't make friends with the other purebloods at Hogwarts or in our family and aren't interested in the accepted girls…or boys for that matter. Stuff about…me being a tragic disappointment to my poor mother and father and how it's a shame I'm not as promising as Romulus is. The whispering…"
He trailed off bit his bottom lip before walking outside. He glanced over the edge of the porch and, with a smirk, dropped the gathered sheets onto his sister's head. He was wiling to wager the guy with her was her new boyfriend, but there was no guarantee.
"Any help you can offer is needed." Remus finished, waving at Raven who was cussing angrily. He'd been getting dangerously close to that less than happy place his extended family sometimes forced him into, but annoying his sister always made things seem much better.
A hand touched the railing next to him and he glanced over his shoulder, startled to find Sirius standing right behind him and peering down.
"I'm more than happy to help you maintain your sanity." Sirius said with a smile.
Remus swallowed. "What sanity? If I were sane I wouldn't have agreed to this. I mean, who would believe we were going out?"
Sirius shrugged a little bit, leaning closer to Remus. "Our friends believed it and who knows us better then them, right?"
"No one, I guess." Remus said, feeling his palms starting to sweat.
"You never know, they might know something we don't." There was that grin.
Not the one that had the girls in Hogwarts swooning when ever Sirius graced them with it, because Remus knew that was fake and for show. It was that slow heart-melting smile that had made Remus first realize that there was more than your everyday camaraderie where Sirius was concerned. It made his insides twist in all sorts of interesting shapes, his stomach drop to his knees and his brain come grinding to a complete halt.
And who the hell came up with all of those stupid sayings anyway? Wasn't there a less pouncy way of saying that someone made you hot? Honestly…
Sirius could plunge a silver dagger into his heart and run off with Snape, but as long as he smiled like that while he did Remus wouldn't give a damn.
Because he knew no one else would get this smile, ever.
Oh, and because he was really pathetic.
Remus found himself leaning back some and tilting his head slightly, raising his eyebrow in question. One of Sirius' hands touched his arm and the taller teen leaned down. Remus felt a shiver run up his spine in spite of the heat.
He wondered for a moment if this was just part of the scam but pushed the thought from his mind. If this was just part of the plan then Sirius was fooling even him. …And he really didn't mind.
"Pervert!"
Remus yelped as he was hit with an icy blast of water. Sirius jumped back but ended up slipping and falling on his arse. Hard. The black-haired teen let out a groan of pain and touched his lower back which wincing.
"That was not fun."
Remus maintained his footing by gripping the porch railing then shook his head to get his now soaked hair out of his face. Sirius watched him for moment then shook his head as well doing a fair imitation of a wet dog.
Then again, if anyone could do an impression it'd be Sirius.
"Bitch!" He shouted back down at his sister before glancing back at Sirius. If calling Romulus's date names surprised him he'd probably be shocked into a coma before the end of the day. Sirius blinked up at him, eyes going round in shock.
"Takes one to know one!"
He snarled. He didn't think there was a jury in the world that could hold him responsible for ripping her head off and spitting down her throat right now. (When had his little death fantasies gotten so…gruesome anyway? He was starting to notice his imagination was getting more and more vividly bloody as time went on. Then again maybe he was just losing his mind.)
"What the hell did you do that for?"
"So you'll keep your sick little displays of affection to yourself!" She shouted back sounding far too pleased with herself. Remus winced slightly, because damn if that didn't hurt more than a little bit, but glared down at her anyway.
"You first!"
Their mother came out from the front door, a fresh glass of wine in hand. He wondered what number that was for the day. It was almost time for dinner so she had to be getting close to the double digits. "What's going on?"
Raven was quick to respond. "Remus and his little boyfriend were making out on the porch. I just stopped them before anyone else in the family could see them. What would they say?"
He sighed and put a hand to his head in hopes of warding off the headache he could feel forming behind his eyes. He really should have seen this coming. If she was good at nothing else it was turning a situation to her advantage. That was why she was the favorite.
"Remus!" His mother gasped looking up at him, utterly horrified. He considered saying something rude but decided he didn't want to kill his mother just yet. It was still early in the celebration after all; if she dropped dead now there was a good chance they'd have her buried in time for them to be able to come back for the wedding.
Remus just shook his head and sighed. Why did it have to be him? He turned and looked at Sirius, who was back on his feet and a small puddle was beginning to form around him.
He actually looked good wet… his t-shirt was clinging to him and showed that yes, Quidditch truly was a fantastic thing where Sirius was concerned. …bad thoughts, bad thoughts. He had to get Sirius dry before anything else happened.
"…On the upside, we were probably going to change for dinner anyway." Remus said, pushing Sirius back inside. He was attempting to make the best of it and pretend his sister hadn't bothered him and trusted Sirius to play along. True to form his friend grinned from behind a curtain of stringy black. "Your room is through that door. Some house elves should have been airing it out already."
"Then your sister did us a favor." Sirius said cheerfully, before slipping into the adjoining bedroom. Remus ran a hand through his hair, noting that he was going to need to cut it soon. He, unlike Sirius, didn't really like the long unwashed, uncut look. Not on him anyway, it looked great on Sirius.
Then again what didn't look good on Sirius. Life was cruel.
As he opened his trunk he couldn't help but wonder what may have happened had his sister not provided that rather rude interruption.
"We might have actually gotten in trouble for a good reason then." Remus muttered.
Making out in public…his mother was probably hyperventilating at the very thought of someone seeing such indecent behavior. Either that or she was pouring herself another drink while whining at his father, who was probably once again wondering what had possessed him to marry such a woman. He was sure to be treated with a lecture about keeping his actions inside (or to not have any 'actions' at all) while Raven skipped off to be with her boyfriend and giggle at getting him in trouble.
Of course Romulus was encouraged to do such things, in order to maintain his reputation and…status among the other boys here. Raven's public actions were frowned upon, as it was improper for young ladies to be so…forward.
And, since he preferred boys, the same applied to him. Which was idiotic, but no one around him cared. He was sure they would have all been much happier had he been born a girl, since they pretty much treated him like one anyway.
It was enough to give someone a fucking complex.
He frowned while putting his clothes into his dresser and contemplated that. Yep. A big glaring complex. Like he wasn't screwed up enough already. His family was determined to push him into the 'female' category in order to make him easier for him to deal with.
He was kind of…wary of having Sirius around them for that reason, among others. He was gay, yes, but he sincerely doubted anyone had ever been under the misconception that he was girly or effeminate in any sense of the words. Sure, he wasn't some beefy Quidditch player and he wasn't big on fighting, but most people didn't try to mess with him.
Some of the stupider ones, yes, but there was no helping morons except to pray that they never managed to spawn and further contaminate the world with their overwhelming ignorance.
Sirius coming here and seeing how his parents treated him…
"I knew this was a bad idea."
But there wasn't much he could do about it now. He would have to suck it up and deal. But it was only three weeks and he'd done it dozens of times before. With Sirius' help he would be able to survive this and when it was all over he could beg Sirius to never mention the events that were to transpire to anyone.
Yeah. That sounded like a good plan.
He sighed.
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Saavik: Heh. Blushes Thanks. The scene with Bella and Snape was a little tough to write. Lots of 'is it too dramatic? Out of Character? Where's my scotch…' and so on.
Drama Queen: They…don't like him. At all. But we knew that already.
Xandria: Not as much laziness as before, thankfully, but I was still slacking. Again, I'm sorry…
Falmenco: I assure my Remus is everything but effeminate and dopey. In my opinion if anyone was going to be kind of girly it's be Sirius, not Remus. But that's just me. I love Snarky!Remus. I can't see someone who isn't quick or at least mildly useful being allowed to hang out with Sirius and James.
I Shave Clowns: Never again huh? Well, don't worry, Remus is going to be feeling your pain soon. But it's okay…drunken Remus is always a trip to write.
Amaroq: Yeah. Sirius is clearly all over Remus but Moony is just a bit too busy with the self-pity wallowing to do anything except curse the day Padfoot was born. Though, to Remus' credit, we can't be sure how Sirius is at the moment. Sirius just isn't a serious kind of guy.
Driven To Insanity: That's okay, I don't normally make a habit of writing PG-13 or humor fics soo…we're all doing something different at the moment.
Demonic Duo: I am determined to get this totally written and complete this time around. Which doesn't mean much, because I was determined last time but…well, here's hoping.
Leeae: I know not the meaning of the word soon, sadly.
Hannio: Sirius and Remus will have their fair share of moments, trust me. It's their story after all.
Sara: Ah, see, quick is another word I don't know the meaning of. Go figure.
Julian: Ah, now more can I can define.
Bitter: Well that is the question isn't it? Does Sirius like Remus? Is he trying to show it and Remus is just a dork? Or is Sirius just a touchy-feely kind of guy and Remus is being forced to suffer for it? You just have to wait and see my dear.
PanPan: Yes, Remus is a sarcastic bastard but his family made him that way! Once upon a time he was a nice innocent…you don't believe me do you? Damn. Well…it's not really true anyway. My Remus is always sarcastic, biting, and a touch on the cynical side. I'm not sure why, he just…is.
Not-Yet-Written: Sirius is sexy, its true, and he does seem to like pouncing on Remus who also thinks he's sexy which makes him less sexy and more cruel and mean to our favorite werewolf. But it's okay…it's funny.
Blonk: Ack, again with that word…