Dimension disrupt

a fic by Josie G. Evans

Chapter two: hippies and bullies

"Urgh! That stupid James Potter is so irritating! Someone should send the dogs after him, teach him a good lesson." she said to herself walking to the gryffindor tower, to retrieve her books for her next course, magical theory, a course usually only available to 7th graders, but Lily being the smartest witch in the 5th year, had the privilege to take it. "Gytrash," she said to the fat lady, "Denied my dear." answered she. "Denied? What are you on about? It's me Lily Evans?"

James just stood there in the middle of the hallway looking at her walk away, he couldn't help but look at her swaying hips. He started moving, his mind in places it shouldn't really be, when he bumped into something pudgy and fell to the ground.

"Oh, I'm so sorry I wasn't looking where I was going..." he started saying but was cut by a voice above him.

"You damn right you weren't looking, what are you blind? Oh sorry my mistake, I didn't see your glasses there four eyes." answered the voice, James heart did a bellyflop into h is stomach, of all the people he could have bumped into, it had to be in the school biggest bully, Peter Pettigrew.

"Oh Illene, my giddie god, thank the lord you're here, I was beginning to wonder if I would have to stand out here all night, I wasn't aware the password had changed, Potter must be behind it I know it." she said as her usually brave and sometimes wild friend came over, she was known to always have the latest gossip and always had great ideas of getting outta sticky messes, no wonder she was Sirius's sister.

"What?! The passwords changed?! Oh my god! AHHHHHHHHHHH!" she said running away down the hallway screaming like a maniac. "Ok, that was weird."

Just then Remus turned around the corner. "Ah! Remus! I was beginning to wonder if I was... never mind, any ways what's the password? Seems it changed, did Potter put you up to this?" she asked a dazed looking Remus.

"The question is not, what's the password, but how do you get in? And are you meant to stay here all night because faith meant it to be and what about the trees...' he said in a rather weird mystical voice till Lily broke him off.

"Ya ya, what ever Dalai Lama, I thought you were the sane one of the group but I guess you finally cracked, any ways what's the password I got to get my books before class starts." she said getting impatient of Remus weird behaviour.

"Knotgrass" he said and the portrait opened up. "Thanks, got a dash, see ya later Remus!" she said running up the stairs.

"I donno who that girl was, or how she knows my name, but everything in life has a purpose, my destiny and purpose in life, was mabe to come to that girls distress, I was supposed to open up the door...ah who am I kidding, might as well go tie myself to the womping willow, I can't believe Darma is doing a protest to cut it down, the poor tree what would he think about that, would he like to be cut down? What dose he have to say in all this, and what would she want in his place, huh?! huh?!" he asked a young first grader sitting by the couch reading a book.

"Ya know what man? You stupid tree loving hippies are really getting to me! Why don't you go fuck a flower!"

"Not a bad idea! Thank you young grass-hopper!" he said getting up. "Ya what ever! Don't mention it."

The end of Chapter two

I know Remus is a little outta there, like on Pluto outta there, but I thought it was funny, what can I say, do you seriously expect me to be normal? Hell would have to freeze over before I became normal, oh wait I just got an interesting e-mail, says Donald Trump is the undergrounds new leader and hell just went to a cooking barbecue in Miami to a frozen piece of steak on Everest. Does that mean I have to become normal? NOOOOOOOOOO! 'Runs away from normalisers'

For those of you who don't know who normalisers are, their doctors with giant Donald duckish feet and giant needles they stick up your bum, and then take all of the insanity outta you and replace it with well 'gulp' sanity.

A/N: um right, I wrote this chapter a long time ago and I'm only posting it thanks to a recent reviewer: minnie-mae.

Thanks!

Cheerio Josie