Title: Sapphire
Author: Star Way
Genre: Romance/Angst
Category: Code Lyoko
Rating: PG-13 for... um... well, this should probably be just PG, but I'm being nice to the homophobes.
Disclaimer: Code Lyoko belongs to Antefilms and the cool-ass French guy who created it.
Summary: One-shot. Aelita just doesn't know who it is she really loves. YxA FemSlash.
Notes: Yeah, it's girl/girl. You don't like it, you can leave.
I am on Earth. I am real. And I have been for four years.
I still remember the day when I was materialized for good. I remember being so excited… I would be with Ulrich, Odd, and Yumi forever… and more importantly, I had felt, I would be with Jeremie forever. I remember feeling the bubbles of enthusiasm tickling the walls of my stomach, and the warm smile playing on my lips as I gave Jeremie the final "ok" to send me to their Earth for good. I was ready then.
I was going to be real, like I had longed to be since the day I met them... the boy who got my SOS call. The boy I fell in love with.
And… forever… I would be… his… I would be able to touch him, to hold him, to kiss him. He would be mine then. Mine and no one else's. I didn't care if the only thing I'd have when I came to Earth was him. He was all I wanted. He was all I had ever wanted.
And he was all I had.
These past few years, I've done so many things. I've sung solos in the school choir. I've learned to dance and draw from Odd. I've learned to write from Ulrich. I've learned to love from Jeremie.
But I've learned something else about myself. A deadly secret.
I don't love him anymore.
I love her now.
This is my story.
It was a warm summer night. Fireflies danced in the air, as beautiful and magical as the stars above. On the bridge, I stood alone, considering myself. I was older then. I was no longer a child. I could probably get in to see a movie rated R if I lied. I could kiss Jeremie in front of anyone and no one would think about it. I could wear shirts that showed my breasts and no one would have thought it weird. I could have done a lot of things then.
But I didn't care about that. All I cared about was Jeremie… right? I could still kiss him and love him like always… right?
The image of his face raced across my mind. It was more mature now, just as everyone else's had become. But he was beautiful. He was perfect. He was anything a girl could have wanted.
But I didn't love him, did I?
No.
I strained my eyes in the darkness to see the distant image of the waves below me. It caught the moonlight and sparkled calmly... A dark blue. A Sapphire blue. Like what I felt inside. My heart... was a sapphire blue right then.
I remembered Lyoko then. The world that I had known so well… and was so eager to get away from. I didn't miss it, exactly. Lyoko was, after all, just a large mass of data, strung together in a way that my programming could have once comprehended and interacted with. There was no coziness there. No warmth, but no cold either. Just an un-changing sense of complete numbness.
A warm summer breeze rushed past me, and a chill darted down my spine.
I sighed. Something was wrong. Things weren't supposed to be like this… I was supposed to be happy here. I was supposed to be with Jeremie, my one and only true love.
But I didn't love him, so what was I to do...? Discover who I really loved.
And who was that?
Ulrich? No. He was a good friend. He could listen to my problems and help me find ways to solve them. But I didn't love him.
Odd? No… Odd was also a good friend. He could teach me a new trick every day, be it how to get the proportions of humans correct in a drawing, or how to balance a book on my head. He was always full of useful information. But, like Ulrich, I didn't love him.
Yumi, then…? She was beautiful and talented. She would always be there if I needed her, and she was always willing to help me in any way she could.
A warm feeling gathered in my heart for a split second, before it was violently ripped away by another thought.
She loved Ulrich.
Yes, I should have thought of that first. I have seen them kiss many times before; I've seen them touch each other and exchange coveted "I-Love-You"'s.
My heart began to throb, and it was all I could do to keep from crying.
And anyway, girls were supposed to love boys. Yes. That was true… right? No, it couldn't be. Girls should be able to love girls.
But can they? Is there some unwritten rule against that?
It took a moment before I realized that tears were, in fact, streaming down my face, dripping off the bridge, each carrying a tiny fragment of the confusion and pain throbbing in my chest, down to the gleaming water below.
"Aelita? What are you doing here?"
I whirled around. She was here. It was Yumi.
The moonlight cast a sideways bath of grey light down on her face, making her glow like a ghost. The fireflies danced around her, as if to tell me that THIS was the person. THIS was the special one that I was in love with.
And I knew they were right. I loved Yumi.
A hand seemed to reach out of nowhere and grab my throat, squeezing it shut and keeping any words I wanted to say, deep down inside of me.
"Are you alright?" she asked softly, stepping closer to me.
It was all I could do to shake my head no.
Yumi silently put her arms around me.
Her fingers were warmer than the summer air around us, and her embrace was entrancing. I held my breath.
"What's wrong?" she asked.
I pulled away from her, and turned away so that I didn't have to look at her face. It was beautiful and perfect. But it wasn't the face of someone who loved me. And it probably never would.
"I don't love Jeremie anymore," I whispered.
Yumi said nothing, but only stood in silence behind me. I felt more tears stream down my face.
"I'm sorry," she finally said.
I turned to face her.
"Do you want me to go?" she asked.
I didn't know what to say. I didn't want her to go. I wanted her to know everything. I wanted to feel her touch me again. I wanted to be in her arms once more.
But I wasn't hers. And she wasn't mine. It wasn't supposed to be like this.
I said nothing, but only stared at the cement below my feet, silent tears tip-toeing down from my face.
Yumi nodded understandingly, and turned to leave.
I picked my head up. She was walking slowly and delicately away from me. The warm wind gracefully blew her hair back, and the moonlight shimmered on it like the water below us.
I couldn't let her just go. I wanted her. I needed her, even. Even if she didn't feel the same way about me as I did about her, I wanted her to know what I felt inside for her.
I closed my eyes, and took a deep breath. "I love you," I whispered.
She didn't hear me. She didn't turn around, she didn't do anything. She just kept walking.
I can do better than that.
And so, I gathered up everything I had, and forced it out. "I LOVE YOU!" I screamed, letting out all of my emotions in that one single breath of a phrase. All the pain. All the suffering. It all rolled out with my words.
Yumi stopped, and her glowing form turned slowly to face me. For several minutes, we both just stood there. I waited in both excitement and dread for her answer.
And then Yumi came running towards me. I could see then, that, like her hair, something else on her was glittering.
Her own tears were falling.
And then I was in her arms again.
And I would never let go.
Even if I wasn't hers, and she wasn't mine.
Forever.
We…would…just…be…