TheWeirdSisterz.
Presents…Chapter 2.
DISCLAIMER: It's not ours, damn it, but when we're multi-billion airs we will buy out Bloomsbury and then a small bit of the magic will be ours (well a large bit if you want to go into details on sale profits!)
"We don't have any prejudices, we hate everybody equally!" (A slightly changed version of a famous comment)
After many heated debates between Sirius and Remus about what's dangerous and what's not. Along with many idea's laid down on the table. The four marauders finally had their beginning of term prank. It had to be outstanding, better than any of the others; however it could not be dangerous or bad enough to make Remus lose his prefect badge, and so they had come up with the following plan.
"Right", Remus said, "just to make sure we've got everything straight let's go through it one more time". He looked around at the others for confirmation; they all nodded in agreement some, Sirius in particular, more grudgingly than others.
"Ok", he breathed, "when we get back, Wormtail you look up the spell to make the suits of armour drop their weapons each time a Slytherin walks past, then you meet myself, Prongs and Padfoot in front of the picture of the fat lady."
"And then I, Prongs and you all go to our designated floors," Sirius interrupted in a cockily bored voice
"Where we enchant all the suits of armour, before going back to the common room and pretend like we've done nothing," James finished for his best mate in an equally bored voice.
"Ya see mate we've got it right up here", Sirius said arrogantly tapping his brain
"Besides", James chimed in haughtily," After all we are old pro's at this mate." Then catching the dubious look Remus shot in his direction added "Come on moony we've been doing this for ages what can possibly go wrong?"
"I'll tell you what can go wrong Prongs" replied Sirius to James' rhetorical question "absolutely nothing!"
"Alright moony?" Wormtail joined in,
"Yeah, yeah alright, alright. I just hope your right" he replied, throwing his arms up in exasperation.
Monday evening:
"O where is he?" Remus asked nervously, looking anxiously at James and Sirius
"Calm down Moony!" Sirius drawled casually in Remus' general direction, leaning nonchalantly against a wall "God you're always so paranoid!"
However James could see Sirius tapping his fingers impatiently and ran his own through his hair. This was taking longer than it should.
"I am not always paranoid!" Remus exclaimed before jumping foot in the air and shouting "AAAAAAA" as he heard footsteps and asking in a rather high pitched voice which echoed ominously into the darkness "Peter? That you?"
"Of course it's me. Who else would it be?" Peter replied in a rather put out voice
"About bloody time!" Sirius growled from the corner "what did you do? Stop for a quick shag with the giant squid?"
"Shut up Padfoot" James snapped "do you have it?" he growled impatiently at Peter.
"Yes.", Peter squeaked "However I couldn't find the exact spell." Three death stares were shot in his direction so he continued quickly "but I found one similar that should do near enough the same thing"
"Good. Give it here we don't have much time" Remus hissed. Peter sagged in relief.
Peter handed out the pieces of parchment with the spell written down on it, watching as his three friends disappeared into three different directions in the darkness before turning and going through the portrait to bed.
Tuesday morning:
The four Marauders hurried to breakfast the next morning to see the chaos their prank would cause the Slytherins. They'd ordered pandemonium and no sooner had they sat down, and Sirius had finished his first plate of food, when a Slytherin ran in to the Great Hall, panting heavily, and strangely pale. He was shortly joined with three Ravenclaws and two Griffindors all of them were followed by three rather annoyed looking suits of armour.
"O Shit" James muttered under his breath
"Understatement of the year there prongs!" Sirius told his best friend in his usual laid back manner, not looking all that put out by the new development.
The suits of armour looked around them in confusion, before heading straight for Gryffindor, Slytherin and Huffelpuff tables.
"Shit!" Remus exclaimed "I thought they were only going to attack the Slytherins!"
They all looked at Peter who said "I did warn you it wasn't the exact spell"
"I'm going to kill you! You stupid, ignorant, git" Sirius shouted finally loosing his cool and lunging at Peter. He stopped in horror though when one suit of armour attempted to kiss Remus, when the poor boy pushed the armour off in disgust armour was not too impressed – pulling out its broad sword and attempting to decapitate him!
"Sirius, stop murdering Peter. Remus, are you ok?" Remus was looking a bit shaken, and was sporting an interesting new haircut, but he nodded and indicated that he was fine. "Right now we need to stop this!" James was looking around the hall anxiously, pleased to see that the armour had been restrained by several 7th years. However that relief didn't last long as another six suits of randy armour entered the room, turning instantly murderous when they're advances were repeatedly rebuked by mortified students.
Peter tried to ignore the fact the Flitwick only refused his armour with, was that regret?
"You got any ideas prongs?" Remus asked, looking pale faced at a gradually approaching suit of armour.
Until Remus had asked that James hadn't a clue what to do but now he was hit with a sudden stroke of inspiration "ACCIO QUIDDITCH SUPPLIES!"
His three friends looked at him in exasperation "Now is no time for Quidditch Prongs," muttered Peter. James ignored him and quickly handed a beaters bat and broom to each of his friends.
Sirius grinned wickedly at James before kicking of from the ground and flying off towards the nearest suit of armour. James quickly followed and aimed particularly for a spectacularly violent looking suit of armour which was slowly backing Lily Evans against a wall.
"DON'T WORRY EVANS", He shouted, "I MAY NOT LOOK STRONG BUT I'M QUICK! I'LL BE FINISHED BEFORE YOUR EVEN READY!" he charged at the suit of armour and quickly knocked the head off the perverted piece of metal.
"MATE" Sirius shouted at him "IF YOU TRYING TO IMPRESS EVANS THAT'S NOT THE TYPE OF THING YOU WANT TO ADVERTISE"
James looked over at his best mate who was heartily knocking the heads off every suit of armour, and if he accidentally knocked out a few Slytherins in the process, everyone makes mistakes.
James was just about to make a witty reply but the response will never be discovered, but it would have been suitably scathing. He got distracted as a screaming Remus who had obviously dropped his bat and was holding on to his broom for dear life his legs sticking out at the sides flew past him. His legs manages to knock off two heads from the pillaging suits before Sirius grabbed hold of his broom just before it crashed into a wall and pointed him in a new direction in which seemed to make Remus scream even louder! James doubled over laughing trying to kill suits of armour at the same time.
"You know Sirius, mate? This was a really good idea!" he screamed as he flew past Sirius in order to divert Remus before he crashed into another wall.
"I know!" Sirius replied grinning devilishly "You get to hit as many Slytherins, I mean, suits of armour as you want. That'll teach them for singing rude carols at Christmas!"
James laughed at his best mate, shouting happily "But who taught them the songs, my crude friend?" before he dashed off again to save Remus who still didn't seem able to control his broom, and was stuck in the same silly position, screaming loudly. James considered putting a silencing charm on him for the sake of his sanity.
After they had managed to stop all the suits of armour, with the enthusiastic help of the students and teachers, had been given a weeks worth of separate detentions the four Marauders lounged lazily in the common room in silence.
It was Sirius who finally broke it he turned to Remus and said "You know," He mused "we are really going have to teach you to fly! I mean you were absolutely hysterical but honestly we can't have a Marauder who can't fly!"
Remus tried to look pleased at the proposition, but promptly gave up "Thanks for the offer Padfoot but I think I can safely say I am never going on another broom again!"
"O come on Moony you can't say it wasn't fun. I mean it would have been alright as it was, but what Wormtail came up with was ten times funnier than the original!" James chimed in. "Why randy, murderous suits of armour anyway mate?" he asked in amusement
"Didn't you hear? Flitwick has a thing for tall metallic admirers!" Peter smirked!
"Well done Wormtail for losing the first spell and creating the best prank the Marauders have done this year!" Sirius lifted his bottle of butter beer they had nicked from the kitchens in Peters direction "And also let it mark the last time we ever let Wormtail do something that important."
"Hear, Hear!" James and Remus said in unison and lifted the bottles to Peter before collapsing in laughter.
A/N:
Yay! We've updated, VICTORY JIG! Apologies if it's not long enough…
I would like to say that James' heroics towards Lily were brought up by an accident slip of the tongue, by my sister as we decorate the Christmas tree…
That's how long this chapter has been in jess' weird mind for…
I do NOT have a weird mind…
Do
Don't
Do
Don't (stop looking at me like that)
puppy dog eyes!
You look like a dog
That's nice. My dog has worms.
(Laughs hysterically)
Right, well before this goes anywhere REALLY weird, please review read it of course!