Am I Too Late?
Hermione Granger sat at her desk in her apartment living room, trying to get some work done for her job as a researcher, but not able to keep her mind on task. Harry had called earlier, asking to come over, and saying he had to ask her something important.
Even though she knew it was stupid, she hoped that maybe he was going to say he had realized that he loved her, and wanted to know if she loved him too.
Hermione laughed at her own stupidity. Why would Harry love her?
"He's happy with Ginny," she told herself. "He sees you as a sister. Get that into your thick head! Just be happy for him."
Just then she heard a loud pop in her front hallway, so she set down her quill and walked out to greet her old friend.
As she walked into the hallway, both of them smiled broadly.
"Hermione," Harry said in his older brother voice. "It's been awhile. How've you been?"
Hermione, taking his jacket from him and hanging it up on the coat rack, said, "I'm good, Harry. And you?" They both walked into the living room, continuing to exchange greetings and to catch up.
Hermione got Harry a soda, and then tentatively broached the subject of what Harry had come for, scared of what he might want to say.
Harry smiled happily in response to her inquiry. "Well," he began, "Hermione, I asked Ginny to marry me," he said in a rush.
Hermione's mouth fell open. What!
Harry's smile faded at her reaction, concern taking its place. "What's wrong? Hermione?"
Oh God…pull yourself together, Hermione. You told yourself to be happy for him. Now congratulate him, be supportive, and try to get him out of her before you collapse crying!
"Um…," she began. "…Well, Harry, that's…wonderful!" she said, her voice falsely happy and high as she tried to hold back tears. Even when he had started to date Ginny, she had always had this hope deep down that she still had a chance. Now that chance was gone.
He sighed in relief and the smile came back. "Good. I didn't know what you'd think. Well, Ginny wanted to come and ask you something, but I wanted to tell you myself. So she wants to know if you'll be her maid of honor."
Hermione's smile faded. No…that's asking for too much. I can't do it. "Harry, I…I can't."
Harry blinked in surprise. "What?"
Hermione repeated her declaration.
"And why can't you do it? You don't even know the date! How could you know that you'd be busy? Give me a reason." He was truly angry. He had come to her expecting her, as his best friend, to want to be involved in everything and to support him totally. But she couldn't.
"Harry, please…," she begged, her voice going even higher. "You should go; I have a lot of work to finish by tomorrow…." She tried to get up and walk away, but Harry stood and grabbed her, turning her to face him. She couldn't avoid him seeing the tears that were now streaming down her face. He gasped and the anger faded from his face.
"Hermione, I'm sorry, I…What's wrong? You can tell me anything, you know that…" He stroked her back soothingly, and her tears faded, although her heart lost another broken piece as she realized she would never have this, this moment, ever again. She felt guilty, refusing him and Ginny, but as she thought about how he had expected all that from her, her anger grew and grew until she couldn't hold it in anymore.
She pushed away from him. "You know, Harry, you shouldn't expect me to want to be part of every part of your life! I care about you, yes, but if you didn't want to be part of my wedding, if I ever had one, then I wouldn't demand an excuse. Can't you just accept my answer!"
He was shocked into momentary silence, but then as her words sunk in, she saw the anger rise up in his eyes again.
"Well, I'm sorry for wanting to include my closest friend! I just thought that maybe you'd want to be part of the happiest day of my life! Forget I ever asked!"
He started to walk away, but Hermione stopped him. "Don't you walk away from me, Harry Potter! You know I care about you and Ginny, and that you are my best friend. But I am asking you to just respect my feelings!"
"What are your feelings, Hermione? You haven't told me! I don't get why you just flat-out refused to be Ginny's maid of honor! Tell me! I already told you you could!"
Hermione was so angry that she couldn't think straight. He wants to know? Fine. Let's see how he deals with it. She marched up to him, her mind a blur, grabbed his face, stood on her tiptoes, and kissed him straight on the lips.
He froze, shocked and confused. The kiss was rough, not tender and loving like she had always he would kiss her. She was about to pull away, but then she felt Harry's arms around her waist, and he started kissing her back. He ran his hands through her hair, and she almost lost herself, before she remembered Ginny and the wedding.
Oh no…he doesn't know what he's doing! I can't do this to Ginny!
Hermione pulled away and pulled herself out of his arms, covering her mouth with her hand, her eyes wide. Both were breathing heavily, and Harry looked confused and his eyes were half-closed. Then his eyes shot open as he realized what they had just done.
"Harry," Hermione started, breaking the silence. "Just…go. Now you know why I can't do it. Please, just go," she said, sobbing the last part.
"Hermione, I…"
"Just go."
Hermione walked away and to her room, closing the door behind her. After a few minutes, she heard Harry walk out to the hallway, and she heard the pop when he disapparated. She sunk down to the floor and cried until she fell asleep.
Two months passed, and Hermione and Harry avoided each other. The wedding was tomorrow.
Ginny had tried to talk to Hermione, but Harry and thankfully made up an excuse for Hermione. Hermione didn't know what it was, but she was thankful all the same. She had still received an invitation, though. Maybe after the wedding she could go to Harry and talk to him. They had always been able to sort out their little tiffs.
As the wedding day arrived and the hours flew by until it was 12:00, a half hour before the ceremony started. Hermione's nerves were high-strung, and she was beginning to regret her decision. Harry was her best friend, after all.
What happened to being happy for him and supporting him?
She spent a couple minutes contemplating going to the wedding, playing her part as best friend. She argued with herself in her mind, before her best friend side won. She rushed to her room and grabbed an old black dress from her wardrobe, then fixed her hair and put on make-up, then put on her shoes and jacket. She stood in the middle of her living room, took a deep breath, and then apparated to the Weasley's house, where the wedding was going to be.
She got there just in time. Everyone was filing in to their seats on the lawn, and Harry was walking up to the dais in front of all the chairs. A few people jumped and threw surprised looks as they saw her apparate, but then continued on, ignoring her late arrival. But Harry's gaze stayed on her, surprised and pleased at the same time. He jumped down from the dais and jogged through the people to get to her.
As he reached her, all she said was, "Am I too late?"
Harry smiled, relieved. "No, Hermione. Just as long as you're here to share this with me."
They hugged then, forcing that night two months ago to the backs of their minds, although it would never be forgotten. Harry walked back to the dais and Hermione took her seat at the front, and after everyone was settled, music started playing and Ginny appeared, walking down the carpet between the two sections of white chairs, smiling as brightly as the sun above. She saw Hermione sitting in the front row and her smile grew even brighter. Hermione nodded reassuringly to her, realizing that if Ginny was what made Harry happy, then that was all she wanted.
The ceremony began, and Hermione watched in silence. She now accepted her place as best friend in Harry's life, although it would never be entirely what she wanted. But sometimes people have to give up their own happiness to make the ones they love happy.
But when the pastor asked Harry to say "I do," Harry paused, much to the surprise of the people assembled. He had a look of confusion on his face, mixed with realization and surprise. Hermione had seen it building, although she hadn't known why. The pastor repeated his line for Harry, but Harry stayed silent.
"Harry? Are you all right?" Ginny whispered. Harry looked down at her with sadness and regret.
"Ginny, I can't do this," he whispered. Ginny gasped, and Harry continued. "I thought I loved you, that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. But I can't do it. I'm sorry, but I love someone else. I just didn't realize it until now."
Ginny looked down, shock still evident and tears streaming down her face. "I understand. I've kind of been feeling the same way."
Now Harry's shock returned. "Really?"
Ginny nodded and smiled reassuringly. Then she leaned up and whispered in his ear, "I'm glad Hermione helped us realize what a mistake we were making."
Harry smiled again, and both of them announced that there would be no wedding. Ron looked like he was about to kill Harry until Ginny told him that both of them couldn't do it. She invited the guests to go inside to eat and just have a nice party.
"No sense wasting all that good food," she said. Everyone filed inside, but Harry stopped Hermione. He waited until everyone was gone, and then turned to her.
"What is it Harry? Why did you guys cancel the wedding?" she asked.
"Some change of plans," he said. He walked closer to her, then leaned down and whispered in her ear, "Am I too late?"
Hermione smiled and laughed. "No, Harry. Love never comes too late."