Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter series or Antigone and I make no money. DEAL. WITH. IT.
Title: Antiarry
Rating: PG...at the moment.
Author: Entmoot
A/N: Ok, brief background... Mr. Baldwin is my Language Arts teacher, and he is one of the funniest, definitely most open teacher I've ever had. In his class we went outside to work on doing the play 'Antigone'. Every part had two people to play it (and my part was smaller than he thought) so it was a day that I wasn't acting. While I was sitting there making comments to Suga hi (read her stories, go, do it NOW! Well, after you read mine! :D), and I realized how funny I could make it if I changed a few of the words and put Harry Potter characters it could be funny. It sounds dumb I know, but please just work with me. This should be good. Please enjoy! You do not have to know anything about Antigone really, to understand this I don't think. If you don't understand something...E-MAIL ME!!!!! Use the e-mail gwollagirlgp at yahoo . com
Summary: This is what would happen if the Greek play Antigone was easier to read and characters from Harry Potter were in it (with their own personalities in parts too)! So hilarious! Total AU and parody. Please r&r! Not meant as slash.
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Who plays whom:
Antigone (daughter of Oedipus): Harry Potter
Haemon (Creon and Eurydice's son): Draco Malfoy
Teiresias (blind prophet): Sirius Black
Ismene (other daughter of Oedipus): Ronald Weasley
Creon (King of Thebes): Severus Snape
Eurydice (Queen of Thebes): Colin Creepy, er I mean Creevey
Guard: Neville Longbottom
Messenger 1: Arthur Weasley
Messenger 2: Molly Weasley
Chorus: Albus Dumbledore, Remus Lupin, Hermione Granger
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Director: Sybil Trewlany (sp?)
Assistant directors: Lavender Brown, Parvati Patil, Ernie Macmillan, Luna Lovegood
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Harry, Ron, Hermione, Malfoy, Lupin, Dumbledore, the Weasley parents, Collin, Neville, Snape, and Sirius Black all were sitting down...and annoying each other as much as humanly possible. Snape was pestering Neville about his potions homework, the dream team verbally abusing/being abused by Draco Malfoy, Sirius and Lupin were fighting about that, Collin was being bugged by Arthur Weasley about muggle things, and Molly Weasley was telling Arthur to shush and leave the poor boy alone. All of this went on until a dreamy voice called out,
"Be quiet everyone! We have to work hard if we're going to get all of this done in time, which we barely will my inner-eye tells me."
Inevitably, everyone burst out talking louder.
"QUIET EVERYONE, OR MY SPIKED SHOE WILL GO UP A PLACE WHERE NO SUN SHINES!!!!!!!!" snarled Lavender Brown. Most everyone got quiet real quick. Those shoes looked sharp, really sharp. Harry saw Snape do a small lopsided grin 'Just try it, Brown, just try it' he mouthed. Harry shuddered, and chose to ignore him.
"Thank you, Miss Brown," said the divinations professor. "Now, everyone, if you'll take a look at your script, you'll see who you play." Everyone looked down.
Harry looked down, sighed. /Just trust me to get a girl part/ he thought. He looked over at his best friend's script, and saw that Ron just happened to be his sister. Ron looked just as excited about this as Harry did.
"You made me a –GIRL-!!!!!" Ron shouted. "I'm NOT a girl! I'm a guy!"
"Don't try to lie to yourself, Weasel King," Draco Malfoy said slowly.
"Shut up!" Harry glared at his mortal enemy. Someone new entered the beginnings of what could've turned into a big fight.
"Oh, that doesn't matter. In Greece back when this was written that didn't matter. They only had male actors. They didn't really mind, because they weren't girls. They thought of it like most guys might think of being an old man in a play. You shouldn't be upset, Ron," explained Collin. Malfoy looked at him and rolled his eyes.
"Who are you, Malfoy?" asked Snape off from a side, not looking up from his script.
"Creon. I don't even need to look," he stated and smirked.
"Yes, I think you should." Malfoy looked at him surprised. Snape gestured at his paper, so Malfoy looked down, and whined.
"I'm not Creon. Why am I not Creon? I'm perfect for the part..."
"I'm Creon," Snape sneered. "I would gladly give it up though. I don't even want to do this, but Dumbledore wants me to. Wants me to do something social within the school, even if Trelawny is doing it..."
"And you should," said Dumbledore.
"Yes, sir."
"Hey," started Malfoy. "Who's this Haemon I play? Is he evil? Is he part evil? Am I anything like him?"
"Well, that depends," said Dumbledore with a twinkling in his eye. Malfoy was slightly startled that he was still there, but what had been said, had been said.
"On what?"
"On whether you love Harry and would die if something happened to him." Dumbledore chuckled.
"NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" wailed Malfoy. "You can't make me! I'll tell Father!"
"Daddy's little boy, huh?" said Harry with a triumphant grin.
"Shut up, Potter, or I'll kill you."
"You wouldn't want to do that, Malfoy."
"And why not, may I ask?"
"Because you don't want me dead. You love me..."
"Why you little...!"
"Scripts everybody!" hollered out Luna Lovegood. In surprise, everyone looked down. When they looked back up wondering what had just happened, it turns out that they had been clothed in togas in put into what looked like the area around a castle; a castle that wasn't Hogwarts...
"Now, everyone, you're in character and setting! Begin!"
With that, everyone suddenly had no need of their script. They knew what was going on and what they were to do...
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Crappy beginning, I know. Most introductions are. Anyway, there that was, and the next chapter will be on here very soon! Love you all, and please review, I beg of you! Not because I need them to continue the story (at the moment), but because they make me feel good, usually. Thanks for reading!
Love all,
Entmoot