Ash lay on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. After the funeral, he had retreated to his room and had remained there ever since. Figuring that Ash needed time alone to mourn his Pokémon, his mother and friends had left him alone. And ever since then, he had done nothing but cry for the Pokémon he had loved so much. Even when he had fallen into an exhausted sleep, all of his dreams were about Pikachu – playing with Pikachu, battling with Pikachu, and even mundane things like giving Pikachu a bath. And when Ash awoke, he would reach for the spot next to him where Pikachu normally slept – only to discover that Pikachu wasn't around anymore. And then Ash's heart would break once more.
Pikachu's death had been equally hard on Delia. Not only because she had been fond of her son's Pokémon, but because seeing her son like this broke her heart. Ash had always been the center of her life and more than anything she wished she could take away her son's pain.
"Sweetie, all I want to do is help you," Delia said, laying her hand on his shoulder.
"This isn't something you can just kiss and make all better, Mom," Ash had replied harshly, pulling away from her touch. "Can you just leave me alone now, please?"
And during the night, hearing her son crying in the next room had made Delia cry too. Ash had always been her little boy who had confided in her, and she had always been the one to make everything all better. But now she couldn't. And Ash's rejection of her had hurt her even more than Pikachu's death.
Delia didn't push when Ash refused dinner the night before, figuring that he was too exhausted to eat. But when Ash rejected breakfast the next morning, she began to worry.
"Ash, sweetie, you need to eat something," Delia coaxed once more, putting a tray down on the table next to Ash's bed. "You'll get sick if you don't eat. Have some oatmeal, honey. It'll make you feel better. It's your favorite – apple cinnamon."
"Don't feel like it," Ash mumbled, turning over to face the wall. "And nothing's going to make me feel better."
"Well, all right," Delia said, reluctantly putting down the spoonful of oatmeal she was ready to feed her son. "But you can't go on like this, honey. You need to eat."
"Can you just leave me alone now, Mom, please?" Ash said wearily.
Delia left the tray with Ash's breakfast sitting on the table next to his bed. "All right. But if you need me, I'll be downstairs."
Ash grunted in reply as Delia shut the door.
"Oh, Ash," Delia said softly. She was desperately worried about her son. All she wanted to do was help heal her son's broken heart, but nothing she said or did seemed to do any good.
"Mime?"
"He still won't eat, Mimie," Delia said as she came into the kitchen. The Pokémon held out a plate of chocolate chip cookies it had just finished baking. "Thank you, Mimie," Delia smiled, taking a bite of one. "Maybe Ash will…"
A knock at the back door interrupted her thoughts. Finishing her cookie, she answered the door and saw Tracey standing on the porch.
"Hi, Mrs. Ketchum. How's Ash doing?" the boy asked, concerned.
"Not well at all, I'm afraid," Delia replied. "Tracey, could you talk to him and see if you can get him to eat something? I'm afraid he's going to get sick if he keeps up like this much longer."
"I'll see what I can do, Mrs. K." Tracey went upstairs to Ash's room and knocked softly on the door.
"Go away, Mom," was the reply from inside.
"Ash, it's me, Tracey. Can I come in?"
When Ash didn't answer, Tracey opened the door and saw that all the curtains in the room were drawn. Even though it was a bright, sunny morning, it was nearly pitch black in Ash's room.
"Whoa. Let's open one of these and let some light in. I can barely see." Tracey lifted one of the shades, causing Ash to blink painfully as the sunlight came streaming in. "There. That's bett…" Tracey stopped in mid-sentence, shocked by Ash's appearance. The boy's face was pale, and his eyes were red and swollen from hours of crying. The boy's hair was uncombed and sticking out in all directions, and his clothes were rumpled from having slept in them the night before.
"Man, you look rough," said Tracey, bending over his friend. "Maybe you oughta go take a shower or something."
"Leave me alone, Tracey," Ash mumbled.
"Ash, we're all worried about you. Me, Brock, Misty, Professor Oak, your mom…everyone. Are you doing all right?"
Ash shrugged his shoulders in reply.
"Ash, we all loved Pikachu too," Tracey continued. "We all miss him. But we're all trying to get on with our lives now. I know it's hard, but maybe you should…"
"Pikachu was my life, Tracey. And now that he's gone, I don't know if I want to go on."
Tracey was stunned by his friend's last statement. "Ash, you shouldn't…"
"Go away, Tracey," Ash ordered, closing his eyes. "I want to be alone."
"Well…okay, Ash," Tracey said reluctantly, heading for the door. "But I'll stop by again later."
"Did he eat anything, Tracey?" Delia asked hopefully as the boy came downstairs.
Tracey shook his head. "I see what you mean, Mrs. Ketchum. Now I'm really worried about Ash. Maybe I'll give Brock and Misty a call when I get back to the lab."
"Speaking of which…how are things at the lab, Tracey?" Delia said, offering the boy the plate of cookies.
"Oh, yeah…I almost forgot. Professor Oak wanted to know if it was okay for him to come over and see you for dinner tonight. With everything that's going on with Ash, he wasn't sure if you wanted him around or not. And he wanted me to give you this." Tracey reached inside his pocket and handed Delia a small plastic bag with a snippet of yellow fur inside. "You asked for this yesterday, and he forgot to give it to you after the funeral was over."
"Thanks, Tracey. But I'm not sure Ash is ready to have this yet." She pocketed the bag. "And tell your boss that I'd like it very much if he came over for dinner tonight. And Tracey, you're more than welcome to stay for dinner too."
"Thanks, Mrs. Ketchum, but I'm going to go see May tonight," Tracey said between bites of cookie. "She wanted to come for Pikachu's funeral, but she's had exams all week. And her grandfather told her that she'd be better off staying at school after her last report card."
"Tell her I said hello," Delia called out as Tracey headed down the road back to the Oak lab.
-
"Ash still not eating?" Professor Oak said as Delia came downstairs with an untouched deep-dish chili cheese dog pizza pot pie in her arms.
"No," Delia said forlornly. "Sam, he's going to get sick if he keeps this up. He hasn't touched a thing since Pikachu's funeral. I knew he'd miss Pikachu, but I didn't think he'd miss him that much. I'm so worried about him."
"Would you like for me to talk to him?" Professor Oak offered.
"I wish you would," Delia said gratefully. "Maybe Ash will open up to another man. He's certainly not opening up to me."
Professor Oak went upstairs and knocked on Ash's bedroom door.
"Forget it, Mom. I'm not hungry."
"Ash, it's not your mother. It's me…Professor Oak. May I come in?"
Ash grunted in reply, so Professor Oak took that as a "yes" and opened the door.
"Hello, Ash. How are you doing?" Professor Oak approached the bed and was shocked by the boy's disheveled appearance. Delia and Tracey hadn't been exaggerating when they had told him how bad Ash was.
"Did Mom send you?" Ash mumbled in response, glancing in his mentor's direction.
"No. Not entirely. I was wondering how you were holding up. Your mother says that you're not eating."
"I wish she'd just leave me alone," Ash said, turning away.
"Ash, your mother's worried about you. We all are."
"No offense, Professor Oak, but could you leave me alone too?"
Professor Oak instead drew closer and leaned on the edge of Ash's bed. "Ash, did I ever tell you about the time my first Pokémon died?"
Ash turned his head slightly in the older man's direction. "No."
"I was a little younger than you when it happened. Pidgey was the first Pokémon that I had caught on my own, and he and I were inseparable. He even slept perched next to me every night." Professor Oak smiled to himself at the memory.
"Yeah, Pikachu always sleeps…" Ash's heart sank once more at the verbal misstep he had just made. "…used to sleep next to me."
"One day, Pidgey and I were in the middle of the Ilex Forest when we accidentally stumbled into a Beedrill's nest," Professor Oak continued. "Pidgey tried to hold them off so I could get away, but there were just too many of them."
Ash was now facing Professor Oak. "What happened, Professor?"
"When I saw that the Beedrill were attacking Pidgey, I let loose my Charmeleon to help…but it was too late. Pidgey had been stung numerous times."
"Wasn't there a Pokémon Center nearby?"
"No. It wouldn't have made any difference anyway. Pidgey are highly reactive to Beedrill venom – something I didn't know then. Pidgey was dead by the time my Charmeleon had emerged from its Poké ball. My Pidgey died trying to save me, Ash – the same way your Pikachu died trying to save you. And I'll never forget the sacrifice my Pokémon made for me. Every time I go to Johto, I always visit the spot in the Ilex Forest where I buried my Pidgey."
"Did you cry then, Professor?" Ash asked curiously.
Professor Oak nodded. "I cried a lot, Ash - just like you cried for Pikachu. And for days after that I wondered if I even wanted to continue my Pokémon training. Without my faithful friend Pidgey, I wondered what was the point of even going on."
"I know where this is going, Professor Oak," Ash said, turning away once more. "You're trying to tell me that I should keep on being a Pokémon trainer even without Pikachu."
"For as long as I've known you, you've always wanted to be a Pokémon Master, Ash."
"Forget it, Professor Oak. Now that Pikachu's gone, I don't want to battle Pokémon ever again. He and I were a team. He was the first Pokémon I ever had, and he'll be the last one I'll ever have."
"Not eating isn't going to bring Pikachu back, Ash. He loved you enough to give his life for you. Would Pikachu have wanted you to hurt yourself?"
Ash bit his lip to stave off the tears – Professor Oak was right.
"Come downstairs and eat something, Ash," Professor Oak said, laying a sympathetic hand on the boy's shoulder.
"In a little bit," Ash replied, trying hard not to cry.
"I'll leave you alone now," Professor Oak said, figuring the boy needed some time to regain his composure. "But if you want to talk some more, I'll be downstairs with your mother." He headed back downstairs to where Delia was waiting anxiously in the kitchen.
"Did you talk to him?" Delia asked. "Is he going to come down and eat? Should I bring something up to him?"
"We talked for a little while, Delia. Hopefully I've gotten through to him. Why don't we get started on dinner now? Ash said he'd try to come down and have something to eat."
The two ate dinner in silence, occasionally glancing at the stairs at the sound of the slightest creak. At the beginning of dessert Professor Oak looked at his watch, concerned. "I would've thought Ash would've come downstairs by now."
"I wonder if something's wrong," Delia said, jumping up from the table. "I'm going to go upstairs and check on Ash right now." Professor Oak followed her upstairs to Ash's room.
"Ash, honey?" Delia knocked on the door to her son's bedroom. "Ash?"
When there was no response, Delia knocked louder. "Ash? Ash, we're waiting for you downstairs. Please come eat."
When there was still no reply, Delia turned to Professor Oak anxiously. "Maybe something's wrong."
Professor Oak tried knocking on the door. "Ash?" When there was no reply, he quickly opened the door. Ash, his eyes closed, lay unmoving atop his bed.
"Ash?" Delia said, her voice shaky. The boy didn't respond.
"He's still breathing, Delia," Professor Oak reassured her as the pair approached Ash's bed. "Looks like he's asleep. He must be exhausted to have not heard all the knocking."
"All he's done for the last couple of days is cry and sleep, poor thing." Delia gently brushed a stray strand of hair out of her son's face.
Professor Oak studied the sleeping boy for a few seconds then covered him with a blanket. "I think he'll be all right. Let's let him get some rest. That's probably the best thing for him right now."
Once outside in the hallway, Delia breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank goodness. I was so scared that he had done…that he had…" Delia hugged Professor Oak gratefully. "Especially since he's been so depressed over Pikachu."
Professor Oak didn't tell her that he had thought the same thing. While he was covering Ash with the blanket, he not only was carefully listening to the boy's breathing, but he also had deliberately rested his palm atop Ash's heart for a few moments to make certain that the boy was merely asleep and hadn't overdosed on pills. He was worried about Ash too.
To be continued…