A/N : That's right, I'm not dead lols I'm sorry for not updating in so long but I will finish the story during winter break )

Disclaimer : Standard disclaimers applied.

Snow-dusted Petals Beneath the Falling Rain

Chapter 5

Botan held onto her bleeding arm as she kept her eyes glued on the two wolves facing her. With their fangs exposed, she could clearly see their saliva, indicating that they intended to turn her into their next meal. Their persistent growling and intimidating presence frightened her, making her step backward continuously. She was scared, but furious as well. Furious at the person who put her in this predicament, who was responsible for her fright and injury. She vowed to make him pay, that is, if she was lucky enough to survive through this.

Her retreat was stopped short as her back bumped into a tree trunk. The thought that she was now trapped sent her head spinning, her blood curling. The ugly beasts were just a few feet before her, slowly advancing. Her eyes darted downward, quickly searching the ground for a weapon. She found a fallen branch and picked it up, gripping it with both hands. One of the wolves paced forward and howled. Shivers ran up her spine, but she tried to boost her courage. "Come on! If you attack me I'll take a swing at your damn head!" Unexpectedly, the animal lunged at her, taking her down with it. A scream dislodged from her throat as she fell, her head hitting against the trunk. With the wolf above her and darkness enveloping her mind, one thought filtered through the haze. She was going to die. Without seeing her mother. Without making him pay. A single tear rolled down her cheek as a flash of thunder appeared before her eyes before her lids shut completely.

I looked down at her sleeping form and sighed heavily. It was as if we were back at the beginning. My rescuing her, tending her wounds while she was unconscious, but I knew something was different this time. I were aware I weren't as detached as before. That this time, it was my fault. That knowledge didn't please me, but it was the truth. The ugly truth that I were heartless enough to send a woman away at night. I clenched my fists and closed my eyes, turning my head away.

My lids lifted and I glanced back at her. As much as I felt guilty, that feeling didn't compare to the one that was beginning to overwhelm me. I were a heartless being. I was cold. I had always been. Then why is it bothering me now? Were I changing because of this one small woman? Impossible.

I stood from my seat and moved toward the bed where she lay. My heart had raced when I saw her blood-covered arm, my soul had cried at the sight of her still form beneath the beast. I did not understand and I was tired of all the 'why's that had come along with her. Once again, the thought that she had to leave seemed the best solution. For me and for her. I would go on as before and she would be with her mother as she wished. I nodded to myself determinedly. My mind only took in the determination I felt, rejecting the other intruding thoughts and feelings.

I pulled the blanket up to her chin and saw her stir. I immediately withdrew to the window, gazing outside but seeing nothing.

She let out a small groan as darkness faded and brightness shone through. The back of her head ached, but her hand moved to her injured arm to feel the cloth binding it. Her vision cleared and almost instantly, she saw him. Standing proudly before the window, his back to her with his hands clasped. 'I'm not dead.' Relief washed over her with that thought. But as she began to think that she was alive because he saved her, she became angry. What was wrong with this man? He was the one who pushed her toward danger, but he had the guts to rescue her at the last minute? Blinded by anger, she didn't question the 'how', only contented herself with the 'why'. Though heated as she was, she remained wordless, punishing him with her silence.

She had regained consciousness, I knew. But why wasn't she lashing out at me? That was very odd. I hesitated to face her, finding myself cowering at the prospect of coming face to face with her unsleeping self. Coward? But I was no coward. Frowning at the implication of my uncertainty, I twirled around to prove myself wrong. The sight of her sitting form among white sheets filled my vision. I groaned inwardly at what that picture provoked in me; the realization that the woman was gifted with a natural beauty that shone amidst everything else, despite conditions and circumstances. I shook my head to clear the thoughts and saw her confused look. Mixed with rage. The corner of my lips lifted and I stepped closer.

"Awake, I see. How do you feel?"

She turned her head away.

Annoyed, I decided to tempt her anger. "You do like to hit your head, don't you? This is the second time. I am not a healer that is always at your disposition onna." I saw her grip the sheets tightly and smirked. "I should have known that you couldn't take care of yourself. I guess I overestimated you."

Her eyes flew to his face at his last words and her mouth gaped open in indignation. The guts of him to say such things! Was he trying to provoke her temper?

I watched as she threw the blanket away and stood to slowly advance toward me. Each step menacing, each stride threatening. She stopped a pace before me. And then, venom she spat. "Overestimated me? If sending me off to be wolves' prey was your idea of seeing if I met your expectations or not, then you are nothing but an unfeeling bastard! How could you? How could you put the blame on me while you are the one at fault! Who threw me out last night? Who!" Tears of fury sprang from her eyes to stream down her cheeks, adding an unwanted touch of vulnerability to her raging resentment.

A sudden knot formed in my chest and found myself evading her gaze, her tears. My throat constricted out of guilt and remorse. I couldn't find my voice to speak the words that would calm her, words that one would describe as apology. As much as I knew I was wrong, I was not the type to apologize. I simply hadn't done an apology to someone in my entire subsistence. No more words were spoken as I continued to look down, the sound of her harsh breathing filling the air…

Botan could feel her head starting to pound painfully. She raised her fists to her temples and pressed hard, trying to subdue the insistent throbbing. Despite her efforts, the headache didn't fade but only intensified. A small whimper escaped from her lips against her will and she closed her eyes tightly. She prayed he would go away and leave her be. She was too tired to argue with him any longer and feeling as if someone was hammering inside her head wasn't helping. As sudden as it was, she felt fingers wrapped gently around her wrists and pulled them away from each side of her head. She opened her eyes to see him standing in front of her, expressionless as ever.

"Don't." I heard myself say. I released her immediately and stepped back. "You should know better than to do that when having a headache. I'll leave you alone now." Without waiting for a reaction from her, I turned around, marching toward the door. I, however, halted at the doorframe and peered over my shoulder, "The burden is already on my shoulders. Putting the blame where it really belongs won't make me crumble," and I exited.

She stared after him, dumbfounded. She didn't understand. Was that his way of apologizing to her? That jerk. She brushed away her tears furiously and returned to the comfort of the bed, between snowy sheets. He wasn't worth thinking about, but she will get him to say the words. One way or another. As her lids grew heavy, one startling thought penetrated through her sleepy mind. How on Earth did he manage to save her from the fierce animals without suffering a single scratch?

Darkness had descended upon the forest, obscuring my surroundings, but the moon's light proved to be sufficient, allowing my view to extend beyond the lake before me. Even though trees were what were found in my line of vision, it wasn't what I saw, what filled my head.

She hadn't come out to bother me since I left her by herself. It was a relief, but somewhat odd. Maybe it was because she had accepted my apology. It was the best I could come up with for it was the first time such thing was required of me and I hope, the last. Everything will be back to normal tomorrow, after I escort her back to her home, to her awaiting mother. Lying on my back, with a vision of stars offered to my view, I still could not shake images of her out of my mind. The beauty that possessed a violent temper beneath the fragile and soft exterior. The child-woman that had managed to make an unchanging man feel. Feel unwanted emotions, but that wasn't where the importance resided. As strong as she could seemed, she was still a woman. And a woman was subjected to tears, I, being unfortunate enough to witness that weakness. At more than one occasion, in fact. She wasn't the first woman I met, but the previous ones were unlike her in more than one way. However, she was the first that managed to reach through something that used to be unbreakable. Merely by being there, within the perimeters of my mind, of my body.

Restless, I surrendered to Morpheus' spell that kept beckoning me, trying to lure me into his world. As peaceful and quiet that land could be, my senses told me that wherever I may be, conscious or not, those upsetting thoughts and feelings would keep haunting me. I were honest enough to admit that something had gotten under my skin. Or simply, someone.

The candle flickered out as the first signs of dawn showed up, bringing with them the cool morning breeze. The curtains parted under the gentle pressure, revealing a sleeping woman to the awakening day while just the night before, they shielded her from darkness' wandering glances.

The door creaked softly as I pushed it open and stepped inside. I moved my lips to speak, to rouse her from her sleep but what echoed back to my ears was an imperfect hush. I had waited for this moment, longed for it. Why couldn't I say the words that would be the beginning of the end of my distress now? Why was it so hard? Infuriated with myself, I slammed my fist against the closed door without further thoughts.

Jerked away from her dreamless sleep, she awoke with a start. A little disoriented, it took a few seconds before her vision cleared to show the male figure standing a few feet away from the bed, his back turned to her. The way he hung his head forward between his shoulders and held his fists tightly high above told her something was wrong.

"Are you alright?" she asked hesitantly.

My head whipped around at the sound of her voice and my fury spoke, "I will be, once you get home."

Surprise registered in her eyes as my words sunk in. Something flashed in her brown orbs, but before I could discern what it was, it disappeared as quickly as it came. I felt nothing when she directed her gaze elsewhere and nodded slowly. Nothing…

My strides were long and purposeful as I led the way through the forest, with the woman trailing behind. At how many feet behind, I did not know for I did not bother to look back even once since we started our journey. The calloused way I were treating her earned no protest from her. In fact, no words at all. As I reflected upon it, I slowed my pace to a brisk walk. I then realized that nothing was disturbing my peace of mind, that emptiness gnawed at my soul. Just like before. Just as it had always been. I closed my eyes in blissful contentment, and for the first time in so long, the air I breathed didn't seem to be suffocating.

She dragged her steps as she followed him steadily. She had been afraid that he would look back and witness the pitiful condition she might be reduced to, but as he continued on without sparing a single glance backward, she no longer restrained the chagrin she felt within. It came in a deluge of tears without sound, without strength. She wiped them away as they flowed down, wishing to have no clinging proof of the pain one man could inflicted upon her soul.

'Mama, I should have never ventured out. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry…'

Thoughts drifting to her mother, she paid no heed to the man in front of her, to the fact that he had halted. And so, she marched straight into him.

I groaned annoyingly as I felt a small body smack against my back. Giving her a harsh glare, I asked, "Is that your home onna?" pointing to the house in the near horizon.

Before she could retorted back in answer to his glare and sudden stop, her eyes followed his arm. At the sight of her home, she gasped delightfully and ran toward it without delay, leaving him behind for he had momentarily eclipsed from the depths of her mind.

I stood rotten on my spot. Though briefly blinded by the genuine smile I had witnessed, the redness in the eyes of the woman that had fled didn't go unnoticed. Gripping firmly on my flute, I didn't know if I should advance furthermore or turn on my heels and return to my sanctuary with no words of parting. My mind told me to flee, but I were no coward. Pride were what brought me down the road in direction of the house. Pride alone.

Finding myself a short distance away, my legs no longer moved. "What is the use of such words between two beings at odds?" I asked myself. "No use at all." I twirled around and began retracing my steps.

"Mama!"

At the sound of her anguished and broken voice, however, my lower limbs took a turn and hurried into the house.