Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer applies.

EDIT: Oops, I put brown eyes instead of purple, forgive me for the mistake hehe This story is going to end in 2 more chapters. Don't forget that the genre is Romance/Fantasy D

Snow-dusted Petals Beneath the Falling Rain

Chapter 6

What I beheld, as soon as I passed through what had seemed to be the small living room, halted me abruptly. Standing a few feet away from the open doorway leading to a bedroom, I witnessed the dejected figure of the woman on the ground, her body rocking from the force of her painful cries. And in her arms, lay a motionless body.

Botan hugged her mother's body tightly against her, as the endless tears that streamed down her face no longer seemed to be mere water drops, but blood pouring from her shattered heart. "Okaasan…" Trembling, she eased her mother's face away from the crook of her arm and gazed down at her pale and cold, yet serene features. Tenderly, she brushed the back of her fingers against her cheek. Her tears dripped from her cheeks onto her mother's face and she shut her eyes tightly. Once again, she cradled her body against her tightly as a tortured sound escaped from her parted lips. She cried shamelessly, painfully, leading herself to emotional exhaustion.

I stood there, watching her. Every broken sound made me step closer; shortened my shallow breath. My hand rose to my chest, making a fistful of my own shirt. My grip tightened viciously on its own as the scene before my eyes sunk deeper into my mind, the pressure of my grip piercing through my untamed heart. I abruptly turned my head away, refusing to acknowledge the truth. But as much as I wanted to deny it, the guilt that washed over me, drowning me in its shame, did not spare my being an inch of mercy. Damned. They said my soul was damned but I had never believed it. Until now.

Her body suddenly stiffened as she sensed a presence behind her. She knew who it was. She still trembled but it was no longer sadness that shook her body so, but an overwhelming fury. Steadying herself, she gently placed the body she held on the floor and closed her eyes shut.

Although I had no rights to advance closer to her, to talk to her, that's still what my foolish self did. Knelt behind her, I was surprised to find that my voice hadn't desert me "Onna-" That was the only word I managed to place in before I was caught unaware with her violent display of antipathy. A resounding slap that managed to snap my head sideway, leaving the sting and mark behind as evidences. I remained still and as she hurled the damning accusation at me, every word tore at me more than a thousand slaps would have.

"You murderer!" Botan spat the words at his profile, panting with uncontrolled hatred and animosity.

I slowly turned to face her, taking in the tears that flowed and clung, the loathing, the pain but also the weariness. It was there, lurking in her eyes, hiding behind that anger she displayed. I knew she was ready to collapse. "Onna…"

"Don't you dare talk to me! God, how I hate you! Are you happy now? It's all your fault! You killed my mother! All because of you, I have no one left!" her cry ended with a broken sob that shook her small frame. She hugged herself, her head hung low and she wept.

I was completely helpless and clueless as to what to do. But I could not bear to see her in such miserable condition. I reached out to her, but like a frightened child, she jumped back and hit my hands away. "Go away!" But I could not. And I told her so. "I won't leave you like this." She raised her eyes to me then. I wished she hadn't. Tortured as it may be, it still managed to make me feel like the lowest being to ever walk this earth. As if it wasn't enough, a smile soon accompanied it. An empty smile that chilled my soul. "Why? You couldn't wait to get rid of me, and now you want to stay?" the smile vanished "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU BASTARD!" And with her words, came her hands.

She pushed him with all her remaining strength, earning a startling look from him as he lost his balance and fell back. Her small victory was short lived however, when she felt him grab her, taking her along in his fall. A small groan escaped from his lips as she landed on top of him, knocking the breath out of him, her forearms between them.

Silence fell as she lay there, without showing any effort to move. With her face hidden from me, I began to worry and wonder. "Onna?" I asked hesitantly. I started to move but froze instantly the moment I felt wetness seeping through my shirt. Hell.

Tired. She was so tired from everything. Her head started to pound and the mere task of swallowing became painful, but tears still fell. She was truly alone in this world now. Her mother was gone. "Okaasan, I'm sorry… I should have never left you alone. Please take me with you…" she cried to herself, her voice a faint whisper.

For the first time of my existence, I wished I could just vanish. Disappear completely from the surface of the Earth. Even the event that had led to my seclusion hadn't affected me half as much. Questions kept piling up, when what I desperately needed was answers. Then as sudden as the rain pouring down from a clear blue sky, her arms crept up to wind themselves around my shoulders.

Completely drained and wearied, she didn't give a second thought as to who lay beneath her. The feel of another being's warmth was too much for her to resist, to ignore. As her vision started to blur and darkness slowly found its way to her, the thought that her mother had come to take her entered her mind, making her body pliable above the unwanted pillar of strength. But before she surrendered herself, she felt a pair of arms encircling her body, awkward but gentle in its hesitancy…

Along with consciousness, came the realization that she was still breathing. That she was lying on her bed. Alone. And one thought pierced through.

Her mother.

Stumbling out of bed, she ignored the wave of dizziness that came with her jerky movements and ran toward her mother's bedchamber to find it empty. Did she have a bad dream then? No. If it was just a nightmare, she would have still found her mother here. And alive. She proceeded to search in every room but to find them all vacant of any human presence. Though agitated, she refused to succumb to hysteria. As she remained motionless when everything around her started to spin inexplicably, the sound of a melody drifted to her. Despite her lightheadedness, she followed the soothing notes who led her to the back of the house, where her rose garden was located. And there he stood, with his flute to his lips. But what caused her eyes to widen and made her shout her denial was what lay a few feet away from him. One rose resting on the small pile of dirt. Its width and height were significant enough to know what could be found six feet under.

I simply stood there, like a stupid fool, refusing to lower my instrument to put a stop to what I was doing. It was all I could do. And that was probably why I let myself be knocked off my feet, the flute flying out of my hands as my body came in contact with the dirt-covered ground.

"God, what have you done!" she screamed at me, throwing the rose I placed upon her mother's burial place at my face. The thorns almost blinded me but I still could not summon my anger to defend myself. This numbness I was feeling was unlike anything I've felt before. Maybe it was better if I forever stayed in this state. Then I wouldn't surrender to any peculiar urges. Like yesterday.

A glance toward the woman, however, shook me out of my indifference. I've never imagined that the death of her mother could drive her mind toward insanity. But here she was, proving me wrong by digging through the earth with her bare hands right before my own eyes. I was by her side in a flash.

"Onna! Are you daft? What the hell do you think you're doing? Stop it!" I bellowed, trying to stop her.

Her palm cracked against my cheek. "Who told you to bury her? You have no right! God, the sight of you disgust me!" she continued to remove the dirt, unfaltering in her quest to reach her mother's corpse.

Her last words made me flinched, but there was no way in Hell I'd let her carry on with her madness; even if I would earn another black mark against my soul by hurting her, even if I'd have to touch her. I immediately gripped her upper arms tightly before I lost the battle against cowardice and shook her frail form until she looked at me, her revulsion as tangible as her tears. "Even if you dig her out, what would it serve you? She's gone, woman. Gone!" I hadn't intended to shout that last word but the vision of her bloody knuckles had been my undoing. The glazed look in her eyes that followed that statement made me regret my outburst.

"You know that more than me, don't you? She's gone because of you after all. If you haven't kept me there, if you have just listened to me and let me go sooner, none of this would have happened. But even if such end was her fate, at least I would have been there beside her, holding her as she took her last breath. I'm not fit to be her daughter anymore and I guess it's a good thing that her soul is in Heaven while mine would be condemned in the fires of Hell because I failed in my duties as her only child. I let her die without anyone at her side, but I know my greatest sin was to let her have my welfare on her conscience as she drifted away!" My hands had slowly fallen away from her arms during her speech. However, it was now her turn to hold onto the front of my shirt, her grip fierce. "She cried on the day I left! I didn't know why, then! She tried to hold me back, she did, but I didn't listen! Oh God, kill me!" It was her turn to shake me, though it didn't last long. As abrupt as the shaking had stopped, she turned around and let herself fall on her mother's burial ground, her arms spread like an embrace in which her mother was enfolded.

It was not my pain, not my loss and not my tears. It was not me who was lying there on the earth, weeping endlessly and shaking from its force and intensity. And I wasn't the one stepping dangerously toward insanity.

But.

I was still the cause, nonetheless. I've never been told that knowing that oneself was at the source of a woman's misery could be this devastating. Excruciating. I raised my eyes to the sky. "This is it, isn't it?" I demanded from within, "The downfall that would bring me to my knees?" After taking one last glance at the shattered woman, I stood and went to retrieve my flute. Without breaking my stride, I simply walked away. "I'm stronger than that, do you hear me? I will not be broken by a mere woman that you had put in my path. Not now and not ever!" As unsteady as I might be, it didn't prevent me from turning my back on her and leave, letting her wallow in her own sorrow and anguish.

He was gone. He only grabbed his wretched flute and walked away. Good! Another whimper escaped from her lips. She told him to leave, shouted it even. She got what she wanted so why had her despair become two times greater? She didn't want a murderer by her side. A murderer whose touch she craved.

Her tears soon dampened the cool earth beneath her cheek, but she didn't notice. Nothing mattered anymore. Not the sky that roared above her head and neither the heavy rain that followed after hearing its cue. Each droplet seeped through her clothes, penetrated through her skin, chilled her bones and numbed the remaining pieces of her heart. Her lids lowered softly and she waited. Maybe this time, the thing that she had always hated would be the one to bring her salvation. She prayed it would.

Emerging from the waters, I walked to the shore and sat on its bank. Staring up at the moonlit sky, I felt the cool breeze finding its way through each strand of my soggy hair, brushing past liquid clear droplets that still clung to my bare skin. I didn't feel the coldness, not when my mind was flooded with curses at myself. To my own repugnance, I had turned into a pathetic being that could no longer keep his own words, especially when it concerned that cursed woman. The proof? She was back in my cabin, still unconscious and consumed by fever. That foolish woman had actually remained there, under the rainstorm, unmoving and soaked to the bones. She was not only crazy, but dim-witted as well. My breath ended in a deep sigh. What was I saying? I was the one who had lost his reason or I wouldn't have carried that bundle of nerves back to the place she now loathed. Why was I doing this, knowing full well that she'd wake up with a vengeance? Questions again. Irritated, I rubbed the heels of my palms against my eyes and let myself fall back, meeting the soft texture of the grass.

I'll have to, once again, nurse her back to health. I should have known she would be another troublesome burden on my shoulders the first time I lay eyes on her. Ever since that day, I had done nothing but put up with her tantrums and weaknesses. But in the bargain, I had also been occasionally blinded by her smile and laughter, although those moments were seldom. And I resented them. No, that wasn't true. I only resented EVERYTHING that she did. I wanted to leave her in that garden, out cold under the rain. I wanted to hate her as much as she did for planting the seed of guilt in me. I wanted to abandon her and let Nature decide her Fate.

What a sad case I was.

Keeping on wanting, but not even capable of fulfilling one of those wants. I laughed bitterly. I was no better than that scum who now 'graced' my real home. I shouldn't spare that bastard a thought, for it was simply not worth it. I swiftly rose to my feet and marched in direction of the shelter. "Bothersome woman. I can't believe I'm saving you and what I'll get in return? Nastiness. I must be the lunatic." I sighed and braced myself for the task ahead. A task that I had no doubt would wear me out. And not just physically.

It hurt to be wrong, but even more so when the behavior I hadn't anticipated managed to let an ache settle in the center of my chest and spread its venom throughout the rest of my body.

After endless days of delirium, her fever had broken. I had prepared myself for the tears, the insults and even the hits. However, none of those things happened. What opened its eyes and stared blankly through me was not a wildcat, as I expected, but an empty shell. After her recovery, she became a breathing corpse who spent every day and every night curled into a ball in the corner of the bed staring into emptiness. She didn't eat, didn't talk, despite my attempts at provoking her temper. It didn't take much time for that anger of mine to be real.

I had humbled myself by taking the time to bring her meal, and that enough should have been a sufficient reason for her to be grateful but once more, what I received in return was her unbearable indifference. Yet, what unleashed my rage was the way she turned away from me, as if the mere sight of me made her skin crawl, sickened her. Enough was enough!

In a swept of fury, I sent the tray of food crashing against the wall. She didn't move. Breathing heatedly, I walked down on her and grabbed her arm in a punishing grip and yanked her out of bed. "Come with me!" I commanded in a howl. She stumbled on the floor and made no effort to stand up. She wanted to be dragged? So be it!

From the floor, through the earth to the grass I pulled her limp body along in my wake. And without warning, I hauled her in the lake.

Crossing my arms against my chest and planting my feet apart, I waited; waited for her to surface, sputtering out not only water but curses as well. I waited in vain. Seconds ticked past quickly without a sight of her. She didn't let herself drown, did she? Damnation! I ran into the lake and dove underwater. I immediately spotted her curled form and swam toward her. Holding onto her waist, I brought us to the surface. I only had time to take a lungful of air before howling in pain. My hand went to my shoulder and I looked down. Teeth marks and blood. The woman bit me! My gaze jerked to her face to see her staring at me, murder flashing in her no-longer-lifeless purple eyes.

"You brat! Why did you bite me?" I bellowed in her face.

"You dumped me in the lake in the first place! Don't you know how cold the water is?" she countered my words in the same tone.

"Wretched woman! You're nothing but trouble!" I pushed her away and hurried out, distancing myself from her to disappear among the trees. It wasn't until I reached the familiar clearing that a realization struck me. She yelled at me. The corner of my lips lifted into a smirk but it dissolved quickly when the sting at my shoulder demanded my attention. "Senseless woman," I cursed beneath my breath.

Botan made her way out of the water and went to stand at the edge of the cluster of trees. "You deserved that bite, you cad! I hate you!" she screamed at the top of her lungs, hoping the wind would carry each of her word to his blasted ears. A thick silence fell after her shout, yet, she stayed put. And suddenly, her shoulders slumped forward. She swiveled around and moved back toward the cabin.

She wished he hadn't thrown her in the lake and in the process, managing to shake her out of that world she had sought comfort in, that world in which nothing mattered. There was no grief, no agony, no hatred… Being jerked awake, snatched away from that cocoon of tranquility had been difficult. So difficult that it made her lose her mind for a short moment, but that instant had been long enough to allow her to sink her teeth into his skin and draw blood. It had been a most satisfying and gratifying triumph, small though it was. And short-lived; simply because a traitorous thought had dared to infiltrate itself into her mind, magnifying her distress.

That hardhearted monster cared.

Letting herself fall carelessly on the bed, she reached for the pillow and hugged it against her bosom. Water seeped through the sheets and linens, but she didn't notice. She despised him for devastating her life and she will forever nurture that bitterness toward him.

Just above the earth and below the sky, thunder struck. Gray angry clouds collided and rumbled. Another rainstorm was forthcoming. At those sounds, Botan jerked from the bed and moved to the window. She groaned inwardly, but felt a spark of anger. "You didn't help me ease my pain, if you had, I would have forgiven you for causing my mother's illness. Now, you shall have my enmity until my dying day." As if the Heavens heard her vow, it growled even louder in protest and sent a bolt of lightning to hit the ground to express its displeasure. She paid it no heed. What preoccupied her was the whereabouts of a certain person, and that, to her own disgruntlement.

"Let him catch a chill and die!" she muttered with heat as she tugged the curtains closed against the rain, against everything.

Although words had not been exchanged, Botan felt that a truce had been made between them.

He hadn't breathed out a single word to her since the day she bit him, and that was weeks ago. It was not as if they didn't cross paths. In fact, their gaze met more than once in a day and though she hated to admit it, she disliked this silence, this awkwardness that had settled between them. But while he bestowed this unnerving silence upon her, his actions were another matter altogether. He was still irritated with her, she knew, so why did he even bother to make sure she lacked nothing? However, what confused and enraged her were his instincts. He always seemed to know when she was hungry, what she needed, what she didn't. Blasted man. In spite of that, there was something else that bothered her tremendously; his behavior.

He usually could be found at the same spot and doing the same thing: by the lake, the flute at his lips. Botan had always been drawn to his melodies and he didn't seem to mind her presence by his side whenever he played. Each note, soothing yet strange and mystical. Just like its master. On the days the sky turned gray and roared, though, he often left the premises quietly after commanding her with his glare to stay inside the cabin. She thought nothing of it at first, but once his disappearance became an usual occurrence on rainy days, questions started filling her head. Where did he go? What did he do? Why? Those questions only served to bring forth other matters that she had buried in the back of her mind. After being in his company for months already, she was still clueless about him. Who was he, really? And why was he living alone in this godforsaken place, isolated from the world? Was his peculiar conduct related to everything? There was only one way to find out.

She felt as if the Heavens were smiling down on her as she rose from a sleepless night to be offered a view of the gloomy and dark sky. The exhaustion that had resulted from a night of tossing and turning was immediately forgotten. And so when the door opened and in, he stepped, she did the unimaginable. She smiled. A genuine smile that reached her eyes. And that was not all.

"Good morning!" she chimed.

Water sloshed over the rim of the basin.

"Oh!" she rushed to take it from his hands. "Let me help with that." Another smile.

Finally breathing, I yanked it toward me, away from her. My movements brisk and curt, I placed the burden in my hands on the table, not mindful of the clatter it made and wasted no time in taking my leave.

Hands on her hips, she watched the door closed. "Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today! Or should I say grass?" she called out and giggled at her own jest.

It was only after I found myself far enough from her, without leaving the territory, that I realized my hands were shaking and that each puff of my breath was uneven. I groaned aloud. Was I this weak, this pathetic that the sight of a stupid smile managed to wreak havoc upon my composure? And what the hell was wrong with that woman today? The past weeks had been pure agony. Every time she was near, every time she stared at me thinking I wasn't aware of those stealing glances… Those 'every time' was what I dreaded because trying to keep a restraining hand on the unfamiliar urges that her very presence evoked had been the most difficult and agonizing task I've ever had the displeasure to do. That unreserved smile today had almost been the last straw. Almost. Heavens, help me; the uneasy feeling that had gnawed at me for the past few days returned full force. Warning me. But from what?

Everything eclipsed from the depths of my mind as I saw the flash of thunder in the sky. After throwing a quick glance toward the cabin to make sure the woman was where she was supposed to be, I marched into the forest where duty called.

Without losing sight of his retreating form, Botan discarded her shoes and exited the cabin. She waited a good moment after he vanished between the trees before following him. His strides were steady and sure, telling her without words that he was on familiar grounds. The tree trunks served as her concealing poles as he had actually looked back several times during the journey.

"Can't you keep on walking without looking back? Damn it," she cursed beneath her breath while she stood behind a tree. When she peaked behind her, he was nowhere in sight. Her jaw dropped open and her face distorted into an ugly scowl, but before she could scream out in frustration, the sound of his flute from somewhere nearby drifted to her ears. Her frown still in place, she followed the foreign eerie melody until she reached a clearing. And there in the center on a giant boulder, he sat. With his eyes closed and the flute between his fingers with his parted lips upon the instrument, he presented the picture of melancholy.

She couldn't move, couldn't breathe, even when the rain started to fall mercilessly above her head. She was captured. Enthralled. He didn't budge despite the heavy rain, but then, why should he when none of those droplets touched him?