Angel's POV

He's gone.

Left me alone again. Every time we seem to be getting along one of us leaves. It's like a curse we have. Set in stone that one of us will leave when we're getting along. He's walked through that door and into the storm, leaving me to stand here alone in the hotel lobby.

I defiantly need some time to think. Who am I kidding? I need time to brood. It's funny. You'd have thought that most of my time brooding would be spent over Buffy, Angelus and the hundreds upon hundreds of innocent people I killed over my years as a vampire. Well...nearly. I do think about people I killed. Okay person I killed. I think about the sniffling poet I found in a barn and killed just so I could get to know him better.

Am I pathetic? I spend my time brooding, thinking, dreaming, fantasising about this one person that I killed over a century ago and is now walking the earth being a constant pain in my arse. And I love every second of it.

Sometimes I think of the times we spent together. I never regretted an instant. I know for a fact that he didn't either. Why would he? The first five years of his unlife was just he and I. Together. We did a lot of things together during that time, but not once did we sleep together. I mean we slept together of course. In the same bed but we never, ever got intimate. Except that one time...but apart from that, never. And plus we were really drunk that night.

And now he's out there. He's walking along some trashy L.A. street getting soaked by the pouring rain that's falling in stair rods. He's probably wrapped that duster of his round his body and is trying to keep the water from soaking him. Bet his feet are wet. His Docs are so worn the tops are worn paper-thin and the soles have holes in them. So he's probably trying to avoid puddles.

The rain's hitting the windows of the hotel and causing them to shake at the sheer force. It's a true storm tonight. Just like when he appeared. Just like when I left. Just like when he's leaving. He's probably soaked right through now. Rain dripping from his nose and falling onto those full lips of his. And I bet he's muttering curses and snarling at the cars that splash him on their way past.

He's most likely wet again. He'll have to dry off before going back to Sunnydale. Or he'll be even more pissed off. He always gets stressy when he's wet. But he wasn't earlier...wonder why.

I miss him. Despite what everyone says, I am still a vampire and I still want to kill. I just don't because I'd feel bad. Bt when I was with William...I don't feel bad. I feel happy remembering the moments we used to chase each other down the streets whilst boring humans would tut and discuss the behaviour of adults being unseemly. When William was turned he was just as much a child as he was in life. Being dead just awakened it more. No more moping about Cecily for eternally young Will. As soon as he'd fed for the first time, he punched my arm yelled, "You're it" and ran off down the street laughing his head off.

Of course I followed not wanting to loose my new baby. Being a new fledge, Will was only fast by human standards. To me he was barely at a jogging pace. So I soon caught up with him and grabbed him by the arms. I shook him a few times and began yelling at him in the middle of the street for running away from me. Seriously, back then it was like loosing a toddler in a supermarket. The only problem is, no one has a problem with hitting a full-grown man in the face for running about like a loony. Luckily I found him before he could find any trouble.

After the yelling and the near heart attack he gave me, I pulled him to me and could feel my sense of relief that my baby was safe. I'd barely known the beautiful boy for five minutes and I was already worried about loosing him. After my parent like act, William had looked up at me, still in my arms, and smiled. Merely saying "Was only playing." Those five or ten minutes were the reason I didn't let him move any more than four feet away from me for the first five years of his unlife.

A smash of thunder brought me out of my brood and made me turn towards the door. He's out there right now. My child like...childe is out there soaking wet and probably trying to catch a lift somewhere. I should help him. I'm his sire. I'm responsible for him. I taught him everything he knows and then some. He needs me. I should go.

So I do. I grab my duster and move towards the door. Towards the rain. Towards my childe. My boy. My precious bundle of violence, death, peroxide, leather, smoke and a bad attitude. Towards Spike. But most importantly. Towards William.

I'm trying to follow his scent. It's hard with the rain banging on my head and running into my eyes. But I'm a master vampire and I will find my baby boy if it kills me...again.

He came this way. I can smell him. But the scent is going all over the street like he was staggering or something. Possible drunk but there's no smell of alcohol round here. Maybe he's hurt? But there's no blood... I don't know. But he's staggering round L.A. that is full of nasty humans that he can't hurt. I have to find him. Now.

So I'm sniffing round like a dog in heat searching for a mate. I bet I look like a right idiot, but if that's what it takes to find him then I'll do it. He needs me and I'm not there. So I have to find him and sort him out.

The scent is getting stronger, meaning I'm getting nearer. Hopefully I'll still be able to catch up with him. I turn a corner and find him. Well not just him. There are four humans with him. One of them being Gunn. The other three being from his 'crew' or whatever they call themselves.

"Yo Angel!" his co-worker yelled and ran over to the distraught vampire. Angel had begun running towards them as soon as he realised there were humans holding up his childe. His face had unwillingly changed into his vampire visage and he was about to snarl at the humans for touching his boy, when Gunn spoke again.

"We found this guy just lying on the street. He was unconscious when we found him and we thought there had been an attack. So we helped him and the first thing he said was your name. So we figured we'd bring him to you."

I sigh in relief as I see the sincerity in Gunn's eyes. He means it. They weren't going to stake him. They were going to bring him to me. Thank whatever god that listens to vampires. Spike's barely conscious when I reach him and I quickly catch him as he falls forward trying to reach me. My hands are under his arms much like you hold a toddler and I don't think he's aware that he's meant to be trying to stand.

Gunn's beside me and mentioning about getting out of the rain. Good plan, but Spike's in no condition to walk. My friend walks away from me and towards his friends. I hear a brief discussion and a farewell before Gunn's beside me again and we three are alone in the alleyway where I found them.

"Angel he's pretty out of it. We should get him back to the hotel." He's right. I nod and shift my grip slightly so that Spike's head isn't lolling around quite so much as before. Spike's eyes keep drifting shut and I'm trying to get him to stay conscious. "I'll go ahead and get the first aid ready man." And before I know it, he's gone. I'm left here holding my childe and trying to figure out how to get him there.

"Spike?" I'm whispering in case his head hurts. Whatever gang knocked him out in a storm, I'm going to find them and rip out their intestines. Soul or no soul, no one does this to my boy. "Spike? Come on now, you have to walk for a bit." I get a strangled groan in reply. I guess he's not up to walking just yet. "Please my boy?" Maybe, just maybe he'll listen...

No, he hasn't made any attempt to steady himself. It's no good. I lean down gently and change the positions of my hands. Soon I have Spike in my arms and I'm walking back in the direction I came from. He's so much lighter than before. There's barely anything on him. He's all skin and bones. What's happened to my boy?

I'm carrying a corpse to me hotel. I need him to wake up and tell me what's happened to him. Not just about tonight but since before then. He's skinny and lost a lot of weight and that doesn't happen in a few days. That takes time. Spike's moaning against my chest and I shake him slightly to keep him in the barely conscious state he's in. He needs to stay awake.

"It's okay Spike. Sire's got you." I whisper quietly to him. He's shaking again and he's soaked as well. So am i. I'll have to let him borrow some of my clothes again to warm him up. He's moaning and making small nearly sobbing sounds from his mouth. My poor baby. What's happened to you? "I need you to stay awake for me." I whisper as I see the Hyperion in the distance. "Can you do that?" He whimpers and I can feel him draining out again. "It's okay precious. Daddy's got you."

By the time I reach the Hyperion's stone steps, he's just able to keep his eyes open but can no longer make any noise. It doesn't matter as long as he's awake. I don't want him going into a coma. He seems like he was ready to do that when I got there. Vampires can't die from lack of blood, but they can feel pretty crap forever. We can also go mad from the hunger.

He's no longer fidgeting, but is lying still in my arms. His hazy blue eyes are going in and out of focus and I'm trying to keep him aware of what's happening. Before I know it, I'm in our offices and not only Gunn, but the whole team is there. Cordelia, Wesley, Fred and Spike's saviour from earlier are bustling round the place with assorted medical equipment.

As soon as I'm in the door, Gunn's by my side and helping me lower my boy onto the couch. Spike doesn't make a sound but he's trying to keep his eyes on me at all times. What the hell has done this to my boy? I need to know. "Angel?" Cordy's by my side and staring down at the blond on the couch. "What's Spike doing here?"

I don't know. He was leaving and I didn't want him to. So I went to find him after we almost kissed and he was hurt. So I brought him here and we have to help him. "I...I...He...I...we...um...there...uh..." notice how much I don't know because he's in pain and hurting and we aren't doing a thing about it!

"Some guys from my crew found him. He was beat up in an alley and when he came to for a while he asked for Angel. So we were about to bring him here when tall dark and brooding turned up." Gunn's come to my rescue thank god. Spike's shaking and before I know it I'm on my knees beside him stroking his hair and muttering into his ear.

Fred's doing the right thing and checking him over while I stroke his hair and the hand I've picked up in my own. My thumb is moving over the too prominent knuckles and massaging them gently in an overly reassuring way. I'm sure it hasn't gone unnoticed by my staff but I don't care.

"This is William the Bloody?" Oh shit. Wesley's doing watcher talk and I swear he's got a stake. Before I can stop myself I turn to him in full vamp face and snarl at the threat to my childe. The ex-watcher gasps and I hear the stake clatter to the ground before coming to a rest. I don't care if I look like a killer. They can call me Angelus; they can put a stake to my heart, they can surround me with flamethrowers for all I care. But it can wait until after my childe is well.

"Okay Angel. Let's get Spike better." Shit did I say that out loud? Guess so, because Wesley looks like he's on the verge of wetting himself, Cordy's doing as I ordered knowing not to mess with me, Gunn's giving me wary looks whilst heating blood and Fred's paying rapt attention to Spike's dilated pupils. And me? I'm resting my head next to Spike's and letting him get lost in the familiar scents of sire to stop him shaking and keep him calm.

"I don't think it's just the dire blood loss that's made Spike like this." Fred's talking to me and I find that I can't tear my eyes away from the clouded over ones of my childe. But I can hear her perfectly. "It played a part on him staying down, but I guess that he suffered some sort of trauma first. His pupils are dilated more than usual and there's a slow reaction to when light conditions are changed." ...What?

"So some blood should make him better right?" Gunn's simplifying everything for me. Good man. He's just come back in with a mug of warm blood and is handing it to me. Guess I'm on feeding Spike duty. I place the mug on the side and go to sit and rest Spike against me. He can't sit up and he'll need a lot of help right now. I manage to prop him against me and keep him there with one arm, whilst bringing to mug to his lips with the other. He's not responding.

His eyes are practically shut aside from the small slits of blue I can see still trying to watch me. "It's okay Will. It's me. It's Sire, you have to eat now." His eyes can't quite focus and he's having trouble keeping his eyes open. He needs this blood now! "Will come on now. Drink for sire." I let the blood brush against his lips and he doesn't even try to lick it off. I swear inwardly and put the mug down. He doesn't need this pig's blood shit. He needs my blood. Sire's blood.

Carefully I pierce my wrist and hold it to his lips. His eyes don't even flicker. I need him to respond. I need him to hear me. I look up and see his eyes are fully closed again. All right this isn't working. My friends are saying something but I can't hear them. Spike's shaking with the cold and he's slowly starving to madness. I can't let that happen.

Within a few seconds he's in my arms again and I'm storming up the stairs back to my room. My colleagues have followed and are dithering in the doorway like idiots. They don't understand. They can never understand. Spike needs me. If I can just get him to swallow a few drops then that'll be enough to pull him through to tomorrow. I lay him on my bed and he's still shaking with the cold. Soon I get his duster, boots, socks and shirt off. I only leave on the jeans because I think Spike would murder me if I stripped him in front of my friends. I wrap him gently in my duvet and sit behind him. I have to let him feed.

I look up and find them all looking questioningly at me. I'm still in vamp face, I haven't changed back the whole time and I think they're worried. I nod towards the door. Wesley takes the hint and grabs Cordy and Fred's wrists to take them back downstairs. Gunn follows obediently, but I think only Wesley understand what I have to do.

It's been over a century since I've touched Spike with anything other than force (earlier on not included). I wanted to let him know what he meant to me earlier this evening but he left before I could. But if this is the only way I can get him to feed then so be it.

I gently lower my lips to his and stroke my tongue along his lower lip. He doesn't so much as move so I do it again with a little more force. Please Spike react for Sire. Licking further I move onto his top lip and suck slightly to pull some of his blood back they so he can feel them. I feel the tiniest twitch of movement so I slowly repeat the actions again. He's in a state of unconsciousness still and he's not aware of what he's doing, but he's moving his lips slightly to move against mine. Thank god.

I move a hand to caress his face and carry on massaging his lips with mine. I can feel the blood between my lips and I know that he will be able to manage now. Dragging my fingers across his smooth cheekbones I slowly move down his jaw and slip my tongue inside to awaken the rest of his mouth. Rubbing my tongue slowly up and down his I can feel the muscle react to push against mine. Before I know it, Spike is suckling on my lip whilst I make sure the rest of his mouth is in a fit state to continue.

Pulling away slightly I feel his mouth continue to try and find mine to cling to. Finally his body is reacting the way I need it to. Scratching off the small scabs that had formed over my earlier bites to my wrist I pinch the skin surrounding them to get more blood and create a bigger gash. Slowly pulling back further I let Spike's mouth continue working away. Without a moment's hesitation, I pull away completely and take a small mouthful of blood from my wrist before fastening my lips back to those of my childe. His Lips suck on mine and I work my tongue into his mouth so he can collect more of the nourishment he needs.

Happy that he's got some blood in his mouth I pull back again and replace my lips with my wrist. As he continues his suckling on my wrist as before with my tongue, I move my lips to his neck and begin massaging it gently. If Spike is unconscious and hasn't fed for a while, it is likely he'll need some help with swallowing. Slowly he accepts that my lips aren't coming back and fastens fully onto my wrist. I feel him pull the blood from my system and lap at his neck to help the muscles there work as well.

He responds as well as I can hope him to and is soon pulling full mouthfuls of blood into his parched system. Three mouthfuls, four, then a fifth and he's still going strong. I sigh and continue to stroke his face with my fingers and his neck with my tongue as he feeds. After the tenth gulp I pull back my wrist and help him swallow the last few drops as he chokes on them. He's not awake yet and he needs his rest. So pull away and quickly pull off the duvet before redressing him in another pair of my sweats and not in his jeans.

Before long, the duvet is wrapped round his fragile body and he's stopped shaking finally. I sigh and press a gentle kiss to his forehead after wiping away the traces of blood. He looks so small, but I know I can't stay with him just now. My colleagues deserve some explanation and I should give it to them. I carefully move his arm and make sure his searching lips are plugged with his left thumb before leaving him to get some rest.

#':;?/!£$%&(){}][=-

Wow, extra long chappy there kids. That wasn't the first kiss I had planned for them, but since Spike wasn't conscious I don't think it counts so much...well then they'll just have to have another one then wont they? I know it wasn't THAT slashy, but I don't want them to suddenly have sex and that be the end. I need them to build it up slowly so I can explore what they're feelings. This is my first slash fic and I want it to be right. If you want to know just why Spike was collapsed (I think I made it clear that the blood loss just helped that along but wasn't the cause) then you'll have to review. Because more reviews makes a happy Higgy. And a happy Higgy writes more fics faster.