Angel POV
He was crying, wailing, moaning, screaming, whining and making pretty much every other animalistic sound you can think of when I got here. My poor boy was wrapped in my duvet on my bed and crying out for me like crazy. So I unravelled him and pulled him close to me. He was screaming in pain and actually crying. Spike barely ever cries. He was clinging to me like I was everything. It seemed that if he let go, he would fade away.
I'd been trying to keep him still for about five minutes and he was still crying like crazy. He was sweating and hot inside his nest he'd made. So I did the only sensible thing I could think of. If a vampire that was usually room temperature had a human temperature, then he needs to be cooled down. It just so happened that the coolest thing in the room was me.
So I'm on my bed with a lapful of wailing Spike. I'm holding him to my chest and trying to stop him from crying so hard. He needs to cool down but he's not. No matter how much I pull him against me, he's still as hot as a human. No, he's hotter. So I do the only thing I can think of right now. The only thing that has ever calmed William and Spike down before.
I cut my chest and watch as the blood dribbles down gently to rest on the groove between my pectorals. I pull my boy towards me and he moans loudly and tries to pull back. So I force him to drink. I pull his mouth towards my chest and feel him press his boiling skin to mine as he lets his mouth fill with my blood.
Before I know it he's stopped. No more moaning, no more crying, wailing, sniffling, groaning, whining or screaming. He's quiet. As if it's just as sudden for him as it is for me. He's still pressed against me. His lips are partly open as if he's asleep. But his eyes are also open, signifying he's not.
I realise I'm rocking us back and forth gently, like a parent rocks their baby. It seems so fitting. He's fully in my lap and looking scared and lost and so innocent he could be a newborn. I'm holding him like the world is depending on him. And god it feels like it to me.
I have to know what's just happened. From what I've gathered so far by the screams of pain and the cries of terror, it's not very nice. But if Cordy's right…well we'll see.
"Will?" I shift him slightly so he's sitting up more. I'm holding his head to my shoulder and I can feel he's not as hot as before. He's cooling down and soon he'll be better. "Will baby, how are you feeling?" He shifts and clings to my neck. Guess he's still feeling scared.
My poor boy. He's never been this scared in a century. Well, not since I was with him. Either that or he's become very good at hiding his emotions. And he is. I've seen it. He's been hurt, by me, by Dru, by everyone. And I don't think he's cried in over a hundred years.
"It's stopped…" He whispers to me and I pull him closer, if that's possible. If not, then I guess I just made him more comfortable. But what's stopped? The pains? The terror? What Spike? What's just stopped?
"What's stopped Precious?" I mutter into his ear and feel him shiver as my breath tickles against his skin. He's always been ticklish. He hated the fact that I found out, but I've never told a soul. Why would I? It's just one of those things I kept to myself all these years. It's something between William and me.
He pulls me closer to whisper in my ear, as if it's the world's greatest secret that he's about to tell me. "The pains…the ones inside my head. It's all stopped… and I don't know why but it has…" He shifts slightly and repositions himself in my lap. I make sure my arms are wrapped around his waist securely before moving to lay him back down on the bed. He keeps his arms round my neck and pulls me down with him, like a child that doesn't want to go to bed.
"Let me check you over. Fred said I have to. It might just be a fluke." He nods into my shoulder and I pull him away. Immediately he lays his head back into the pillow and pulls the duvet up to cover him more. It's as if he's embarrassed to let me see him. "Where about did it hurt before?" I ask and he slowly points to an area of his head.
"Here…but it was like it was inside my head…" he mutters and watches the duvet as I sit up straighter and put on my medics cap. I brush back the wavy curls of his hair and inspect his forehead closely. He sits as still as he can and picks at the duvet as I gently rub at the area and check for any damage.
"There's no scars or bruising." I tell him and pat his hair back into place. I softly rub my thumb back and forth over the area and move across to double check the rest of his head's okay. There's nothing. No physical signs or scars of anything happening to him. "How do you feel now? Any headaches?"
He shakes his head and that's a sign that he's feeling better if he can move without pain. "Just feel a little light headed. And confused, what happened to me Angel?" We're not sure at the moment baby. Cordy thinks she knows, but we need to check. She sounds like she might be right…and I'm sorry.
Hey, he called me Angel!
I feel like a proud father whose son has just called him dad for the first time. Spike barely ever calls me Angel. In fact, I don't think he's ever said it without sarcasm before… I'm so proud of him!
I think that's why he's looking at me like I've gone mad. I'm beaming like crazy and he's giving me a scared look. Maybe he thinks I'm Angelus? "We think we know what's happened to you, but we need you to tell us something first."
He nods and I can see he's feeling anxious as to what I'm going to ask him. He probably thinks that if there's nothing wrong with him, then I'll throw him out into the streets with no clothes, no blood and no hope. I would have…if I was that stupid and unsouled.
I settle myself on the bed next to him and he shifts away slightly as if I might attack. Okay I'll be honest; he has a right to think that. I have done that before and there's no reason he should trust me really. I've screwed him over more times than anyone else. "Spike, I need you to tell me the truth okay? When you were having the headaches, did you see anything in your head? Any pictures? Like a flashback in a film?"
He's picking at the duvet with both hands and nods slowly. "Yes." He looks so small compared to me. My clothes are huge on him and I think I could fit two of him in that tee shirt if I tried. I wait for more to come but he doesn't look like he's going to say anything.
"Yeah?" I see him nod and carry on, trying to be soothing and comforting at the same time. "So what did you see Spike?" I ask patiently. He looks away from me and I don't know why. I frown and reach out to turn him to face my direction. As soon as my fingers make contact with his skin he flinches away. "Spike? Tell me…"
"You'll think I'm crazy." He responds and I swear it sounds like he wants to cry. His throat sounds like it's about to close up and he sniffs slightly. "You'll laugh and tell me to get out." I reach out again and shift closer to him.
He instantly moves away and tugs at the duvet to cover more of his body. It's not like I haven't seen it all before. Of course, back then he liked me and didn't mind me touching him. Actually, come to think of it, I think he was usually the one begging me to hold his hand or something. I remember when we used to go out. Just him and me. We'd be out all night, and all throughout he'd hold onto my hand and follow me quietly.
Of course, when Darla and Dru found us again, my sire wouldn't let him hold my hand. So instead he would tag along behind clinging to the edge of my coat like a small child. Dru used to pout and whine at him at first, until I taught her otherwise. Darla got seriously ticked off with it, she thought I was paying more attention to my new baby and not enough to her. Which was true. So to keep them all happy, I would go out with the girls when William was sleeping, and then take Will out later and hold his hand.
Of course, it only worked because William was a weird fledgling. Usually vampires sleep at day and hunt all night. But William found it hard to adjust. He preferred to sleep half and half. He'd go to sleep mid afternoon and wake up around midnight ready to hunt. Of course, during the hours when the rest of us were sleeping he'd be reading or drawing quietly.
"Spike? Please." I sigh and watch him shake his head. "Please Spike, I want to help you. We want to help you." He looks up at that. Probably thinks I'm lying. No one's ever cared enough to help him before. Well… at least in this century…
He looks up at me with his crystal blue eyes and I can't help but smile at the trust I see there. No matter what happens, if Spike trusts you once, he's most likely to trust you forever. "Promise you wont throw me out?" I nod and he visibly reacts.
The posture becomes less defensive and he immediately lets go of his death grip on the duvet covering himself. He slouches back into the pillows and half closes his eyes in a gesture of relaxation. I find myself sitting side by side in bed with my childe. Who is also wearing my clothes and in my bed. Did I mention how weird this is?
He swallows and takes a deep unneeded breath to calm himself down. I wait patiently and pray that he wont say what I fear. "There were a lot of big demons." Oh that's never good. "They were big… and there was blood. Lots and lots of blood. And you were fighting and…and…" he turns away and fidgets with the duvet when I give him a confused look. "You think I'm mad don't you?"
"What?" I mutter and catch onto what he was saying. I was too busy thinking about what this means. Cordy hasn't had a vision for over three weeks, and now Spike turns up on my doorstep claiming that he has been seeing me in his dreams fighting demons. "No of course I don't think you're mad." I answer and pull him closer to me.
He's practically deflated. When I was with Spike a century ago, he was bright and bubbly. Always ready to do anything active. He was always full of energy and usually bouncing round the lair trying to find something to do. I used to have to find him things to keep him occupied before Darla staked him from annoyance. His tasks usually ranged from sorting the corpses into alphabetical order, to finding the cricket ball that I had hidden for him.
Back in Sunnydale when I was souled and he was the Big Bad, he was just as active as ever. Constantly breaking into anywhere just to have something to do. You think that the school parent's evening was for Buffy? For Spike to kill the slayer? That's a lie. He was merely looking for something to do. It just so happened that there was a decent fight available to him.
But now, now he's so small. I pull him onto my lap and he fits easily into the dip where I've crossed my legs. He's shaking again and I rub his back softly to show him I'm there. "What's wrong with me Angel?" he whispers as if it's wrong to ask. Like he should just take it and not pass judgement.
I can't believe the tone of his voice. It's so old. Spike sounds like a broken man. There's no life in him anymore. When I found out who has dared to hurt him, I will kill them. He's close to crying again so I cup the back of his head and bring it closer to my neck. Vampires find it comforting to be close to other people's necks. It's where you bite to make them and it's where you smell the most. So of course, it's the most comforting place for a scared vampire to be. Against the neck of their Sire.
"What's wrong with me?" I hear him utter the words again and can't help but feel cold. He thinks that there is something wrong with him. It hurts me to think that he thinks so little of himself. There is no Big Bad in him anymore. He's a young vampire with nowhere to go and no one to look after him. But that's about to change.
"There is nothing. Nothing. Wrong with you." I whisper into his ear to make him believe. Before he can shake his head and deny the truth, I lift his face to mine and gaze into those shattered blue eyes of his. They are wet with tears and I know that my brown ones reflect the same image as his. Gently, and trying to show just how wrong he is, I bring our faces closer and press my lips to his.
¬!"£$&()
Sorry it took so long to update guys, but I hope the ending will help you forgive me. It's taken me so long because I've been doing crappy coursework and being told how important it is to my final grade. So, obviously I've not had much time to update. However, it's the Christmas holidays soon and I think I could give you all a few chappys as a Christmas gift. If you could review and tell me what fics you want updated next, I would appreciate it. Thanks guys. And as Red would say, later dayz. Luv Higgy xxx.