A Smiling Mask

The wind rushed through Goku's hair as he flew at top speed over the landscape, dipping into the soft clouds below him to send up sprays that resembled waves crashing onto the shore. He had always loved flying, ever since he had learnt how it had always been his favourite pass time. Apart from eating and spending time with his family.

He didn't know what it was about the immense space high above the clouds that made him long for it so much when he was surrounded by the walls of his house. Maybe it was the feeling of the wind whipping at his hair and blowing in his face. Perhaps it was the occasional race with an eagle he had that he would usually win. Sometimes he would allow the bird to win if he was in a really happy mood. He didn't know what it was. He just loved it!

Goku began to go into a nosedive down into the forest, zipping around the trees with expert skill whilst still staying air-born. He didn't pay any attention to where he was going as he knew that he could easily get home by tracing the power signal of Gohan or Goten. Heck, Chi Chi gave off a powerful enough life force for him to trace her.

As he shouted an apology to a herd of deer he spooked, he broke out into a clearing at the edge of the forest that was still hidden from civilisation. It would be the perfect spot for fishing, another favourite hobby of his, with the lush pines dotting the edge, the spectacular mountain scenery and the wide river that he could plainly see was over flowing with large fish.

If it hadn't have been for that small house near the river, then this would be one of Goku's favourite fishing spots.

Landing, Goku stared at the house as his smile flickered and died on his face. The warm rays of the sun suddenly came cold on his back and the birds seemed to stop their singing. As he heard the rush of the river in the background, he heard the screams of a child. It was in his memory but he still heard it as clear as if they were being sounded right at that second.

To him, that house held one of the worst memories of his life. Worse then Maijin Buu destroying the Earth. Worse then hearing the truth about his birth race from a dying Vegeta. Worse then witnessing his best friend being killed in front of him.

Sure, all those memories were bad but what had happened within the walls of that house were different. It was something that happened to people every day but it had stolen his childhood. It had stolen his innocence. It had stolen his smile. The grin on his face now was nothing more then a mask that he had grown used to keeping on. No one knew the truth. They had no need to.

Goku could feel the frustration building up inside him as that one bad memory came flooding back. His screams. His tears. His pain. Finally, he couldn't stand it any more and shot out a large energy blast at the house, demolishing it completely.

The house was gone now but his memory remained. He began to shiver uncontrollably as his knees bucked from underneath him and he fell, sobbing loudly.

"Why?" Goku screamed, pounding his fist hard into the ground. "Why did it happen? I didn't do anything wrong!"

"Kakarott!" A voice shouted behind him in an almost scolding tone. "What the hell is wrong? That's not like you."

Goku knew who it was without even looking up. There was only one person who called him by his birth name but today he didn't feel like he could tolerate that person.

"Go away Vegeta," he said through his sobs. "Just leave me alone! What are you doing here anyway?"

"I was training up there," Vegeta said, pointing to the mountain area that jutted out of the landscape. "I sensed your power level and something felt wrong. There's something wrong with you. You wouldn't just blow up that house for no reason, now what is it?"

"Why would you care?" Goku screamed. "You've never given a damn about me before so why now?"

"Because of that," Vegeta argued. "I've never known you to act like this before. No one has. Now, tell me what's bugging you because I'm not moving from this spot until you do."

"But why?" Goku said, beginning to calm down. "You've never cared about something like this before. So why now?"

"Because something obviously happened in that house that's still haunting you," Vegeta said, his voice growing softer. "Listen, whatever it is I probably know what it's like. When I was serving Frieza, I went to hell and back countless times. He...he even raped me."

That last part caught Goku's attention in shock. He never thought that Vegeta would allow anything like that to happen to him, even from Frieza. Maybe he would understand then. Maybe he would understand what he'd been through if Vegeta himself had gone through a similar experience.

"Ok," Goku nodded slowly. "I'll tell you but I want you to hear me out."

"Fine," Vegeta agreed, sitting down beside him.

"It happened when I was just a kid," Goku began. "When my Grandpa died and before I met Bulma I had to make it by myself for a bit. That's when...that's when it happened..."

Flashback

As usual, it was a beautiful day. The sun was beating down across the land, causing the grass and flowers to glow and shimmer in the light. Flocks of birds flew around the skies, twisting and turning in time with each other in a mysterious dance that was almost hypnotic to the eye. The meat eaters of the forest rested under the shades of trees, allowing deer herds to graze in peace. Now was the time of year when salmon were making their way upstream and so the rivers were a paradise for fishers of all sorts.

A young boy, who knew himself as Goku, was watching the fish with a watering mouth. He was hungry but had no fishing equipment to get himself a good meal. As he sat against the tree and watched the river, pondering, his keen eyes saw movement in the forest on the other side of the river.

A large brown bear emerged out of the trees with a small cub trotting at her heels. Goku leaned forward to watch the bear give her young one a fishing lesson and allowed himself to gasp in wonder as the bear dipped her paw into the river and, with a powerful flick of her claws, propelled a large salmon out of the water and onto the bank. Taking the wriggling fish in her mouth, the bear retreated back into the forest to share her prize with her child.

A smile crept across Goku's young face as he stood and came to the edges of the water and dropped down onto his knees. He figured that if a bear could do it, why shouldn't he? Raising a hand in the air, Goku watched a big fish as it travelled down stream towards him. As it came right underneath him, Goku plunged his hand down, ready to flip the salmon out of the water like the bear had done.

"Boy!" An angry cry disturbed his concentration and Goku ended up with a splashed face while that salmon swam away. Wiping the water out of his eyes, Goku stood and turned to meet the owner of the annoyed voice. In front of him stood a large man who wore faded blue jeans, held over his large stomach with braces that came over his shoulders. His chest was covered with a filthy white T-shirt that had every sort of stain imaginable smeared over it. His face was pale with dark circles under his beady eyes and stubble poking out of his chin.

"What in hell's name do yer think yer doin' to my damn fish boy?" The man repeated in another angry yell.

"I'm sorry," Goku apologised, slightly spooked by his appearance. "I just wanted something to eat, that's all."

"Well you picked the wrong part of this 'ere river to do yer fishin'" the man said in a dangerous tone, coming right up to Goku. "I own this 'ere land and that means this part o' the river an' all. Now do yer get it boy?"

"I'm sorry," Goku said as he tried to slip past the man as his breath came heavily onto his face whilst he talked that reeked of alcohol. "I'll just go and find someplace else to eat."

"Not so fast boy," the drunken man said, grabbing Goku's hand in a strong grip to stop him from escaping. "There is a way you can make it up to me."

"How?" Goku asked, raising his eyebrows in suspicion.

"We're gonna play ourselves a lil' game," the man said, tightening his grip. "You just do what I tells yer to do and I forgive yer. Understand?"

"I guess so," Goku said. "How hard could it be?"

"It's not hard at all," the man smiled. "What's yer name boy?"

"Goku," he smiled. "What's yours?"

"Just call me John," the man said. "Now, Goku, don't you be tellin' anybody about our lil' game ok. It's just between us yer hear?"

"Sure," Goku nodded. "Don't worry, I won't tell. I promise."

"Good lad," John slurred as he lead Goku to the small wooden shack that was built at the far end of the clearing. How anybody could have lived in such conditions were beyond anyone's reasoning. Old takeaway boxes from pizzas and Chinese were littered on the floor of the living room that had been there for what looked like years. In a dark corner, there stood a mouldy armchair with springs and stuffing poking out at every angle. An old radio was playing somewhere in nothing more then a feeble crackle. Although it was a nice day outside, the room was in darkness as the windows were covered with tattered drapes.

"Now lad," John said, leading Goku into another room. "You jus' wait 'ere for me ter get ready now."

"Sure," Goku said as his eyes grew used to the dimness and he was able to take in his surroundings. He was standing beside a bed with a large, hard metal frame. There was nothing more then a stiff mattress, a flat pillow and a thin blanket lying upon the frame. With the chill that was coming in, Goku was beginning to wonder how the cold was kept out during the night when something suddenly slammed into him, knocking him onto the mattress. His arms were forced above his head and handcuffs were pulled on, chaining him to the tall metal frame.

"John," Goku protested as his vision cleared and he saw John on top of him, shirt now off. "What are you doing?"

"All part of the game kid," John slurred as he reached down and ripped the clothing from Goku's body. "You gotta good body kid. Anyone ever use it before?"

"What do you mean?" Goku cried, starting to shiver with cold and fear. "What's going on?"

"You poor boy," John said through a hiccup as he unbuttoned his trousers and slid them off. "You got no idea what the hell's goin' on do yer? Let me show yer wha' I mean 'ere boy. Don't you worry none abou' the pain. Yer gonna enjoy it."

Ripping off his dirty boxers, John forced Goku's legs apart and forced his erection straight into the young body. There was a scream of pain from Goku as he tried to clamp his thighs together but the wide body in-between them stopped the process.

The cries of pain that flew from the child's throat were completely ignored from John as he began to pant heavily and arched his back in pleasure. He found that the harder he pushed in, the louder and more enjoyable the screams became. Soon he noticed a clear liquid spill from his victims eyes and smiled. It had been such a long time since his last 'game' with a child who had been foolish enough to fish in his part of the river and he had forgotten just how enjoyable they could be.

He remembered the last one he'd managed to lure in. A thirteen year old girl. She had been so sweet and had tasted sweeter. The screams he had drawn from her that day had been the best thing in a long time and there was no way she would go telling people she had been raped. He always managed to break them down enough to keep them silent.

Truth be told, he preferred females but you had to take opportunities that were there. Besides, this boy was fairly good himself.

Goku was trying desperately not to scream or cry but he just couldn't stop them from slipping out. The pain that was shooting up and down his body was unbearable and he was in clear agony. He didn't understand why John was smiling at his desperate and painful cries. He couldn't understand how something so terrifying and hurtful could be classified as a game.

There was a deep rumble in the distance as rain started to hammer heavily against the windows. The storm came on quickly and noisily but seemed to go unnoticed by John. Goku, even through his pain, managed to turn his head slightly to see the heavy drops of water slam against the glass. Almost as if they were tying to break in and rescue him.

"Grandpa!" Goku's mind screamed. "Do you know my pain? Are you crying for me? Are you trying to rescue me with your tears?"

But no matter how hard the rain hammered against the window, it was refused entrance. Goku watched as the droplets began to dribble down the window. There were so many of them. Goku tried to count them to try and keep his mind off the painful game. However, the sharp shoots of pain and moans of pleasure from John tore his attention away and caused him to scream once more.

Time seemed to crawl by until Goku finally felt the intrusion to his body pull itself out, leaving behind immense pain.

"I told you tha' you'd enjoy it," John said, stretching his body.

"Please can I go now," Goku whimpered silently. "Please."

"Jus' a minute," John said, still keeping his body on top of the youngsters. "Yer said you was hungry right boy?"

Goku nodded slightly, trying his hardest to will the pain from his body but without success. All he wanted to do was get out of this dark and smelly cabin and never come back ever again.

"Suck on this boy," John slurred, forcing his still erected dick into Goku's mouth. He reared his head in pleasure and let out a loud groan as he pushed as deep into the boys mouth as he could go.

Fresh tears were now streaming down Goku's cheeks as the bitter taste exploded in his mouth. He was choking heavily, the wide body over him blocking his nose and mouth. His screams didn't come out as John kept on pushing his thighs against his lips, forcing the taste to roam deeper and deeper down his throat.

"Tha' a good lad," John purred as he removed himself from Goku and stood. "You was good at tha' kid. You outter come round 'ere more often."

Goku didn't say anything as he spat heavily on the floor, trying to rid his mouth of the terrible taste that had been smeared all over his tongue. He felt John undo the handcuffs that had held him down and drag him to the door, his bare feet stumbling over the wooden floor.

Opening the door, John tossed Goku out into the cold rain, throwing his cloths out after him.

"That'll be all for today Goku," John called over the sound of the rain hammering onto the roof. "Consider yerself forgiven for tryin' to get yer hands on my fish. Come round again sometime. You'd make a good whore. And remember, you promised not ter tell, yer lil' bitch."

Goku just stared in utter fear and confusion as John shut the door to the cabin and left him outside in the freezing rain. He felt so scared, alone and dirty as he pulled his clothes back on and forced his aching legs forward to get as far away from that place as possible.

End of Flashback

Vegeta sat in complete silence as Goku finished his story and allowed his tears of distress to come out of his eyes with such force and noise that his body jerked violently with each sob.

"You've never told anyone about that until now?" Vegeta questioned, raising his eyebrows in pity.

"I couldn't," Goku said in-between sobs. "I made a promise not to tell and I've always kept that until now. I didn't know what he was doing to me then but when I did understand I felt so used and dirty. I know that this thing happens to people every day but when I found out that it had happened to me then the effects sank in. He stole my smile! I know I'm always grinning but that's because I didn't want anyone to know. I was afraid what they would think if they found out that I was a drunken loners whore for an afternoon."

"I can't believe you'd be so stupid!" Vegeta said in disgust. "You're telling me that you've never told anyone about some drunken bastard raping you because you promised not to tell about that 'game'?"

"I know it sounds stupid," Goku sobbed. "But have you ever told Bulma about Frieza abusing you?"

There was a pause of silence as Vegeta slowly shook his head. Even he understood. The abuse that he and his rival had been through was utterly humiliating and was always there to haunt you. He did have a point. It was something that he had never talked about and now, hearing Kakarotts story, he had to commend his courage.

"Vegeta," Goku said quietly, drawing his attention. "You won't tell anyone about this will you? I mean, I did promise and it's not something I'd like to tell again. You should understand. You've been there too."

"Sure," Vegeta said as he placed a comforting arm around the shoulders of his rival. "But don't think that this changes anything. I'm still going to kill you ok."

"Thanks," Goku smiled.

The two tortured souls sat there by the salmon filled lake until the sun set from the sky. They had both been through hard times and now both had a little more understanding of each other. The physical elements of Goku's past had now gone but the memory would always remain. The memory of how his smile had been stolen. The memory that had forced him to wear a smiling mask for all eternity.