Chapter Four: Of Hair of Hikari

Yugi was having a bad day. At the advanced age of eighteen, he was now only very short, and as angelic as ever. He looked fluffy. His golden bangs curled in soft waves around his face, and the rest of his hair fell in red and black ringlets down his back. The hikari was at a loss to do anything about this, as his hair had always maintained it's usual spikes without any interference from himself. He had no idea why today it chosen to be curly instead, but he didn't like it. That's not to say that Yugi wasn't being his normal adorable self - he was. He smiled sweetly at his yami. "Don't worry about me, darkness, I'll be fine."

The Pharaoh seemed remarkably unperturbed by Yugi's plight, especially when you consider his protectiveness towards the boy. It is possible however, that Yami did not consider insane hair to be a threat when not applied to himself. He smirked lightly. "Naturally. It's not like bad hair is fatal, after all."

"Of course not, Yami." Still smiling sweetly, Yugi picked up a rubric's cube and hurled it. The Pharaoh didn't even have time to duck before the cube connected with his left cheekbone with a sickening crack. Dazed red eyes blinked at Yugi, a mix of pain, shock and confusion swirling in their depths. For all the time they had known each other, Yami had very seldom seen his light side loose his temper, and had therefore not picked up on the danger signs in time to avoid it. One hand rose to cover the swiftly appearing bruise on his cheek. Being corporeal did have its disadvantages. His hikari bolted across the room and flung his arms around him.

"I'm sorry Yami," Yugi whispered, cuddling his dark side apologetically. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

"It's my own fault aibou," Yami said gently. "I shouldn't have antagonised you like that. Now, let's do something about that hair."

When, about an hour or so later, Yugi's hair was still resisting all attempts to turn it back to normal, (water, hair-ties, hair-gel, hammering, ironing, etc.) they finally gave up.

The Pharaoh decreed that they would have ice-cream cupcakes for lunch (they had missed breakfast) in a successful attempt to cheer Yugi up, and for a while they ate in companionable silence. Yugi smiled and licked the remaining ice-cream off his nose, before idly sorting through the morning mail. He ended up with one letter left over - a strange black envelope with red and gold writing, which Yugi thought was rather pretty. After a moment's indecision, he biffed it at Yami.

Reading it, his dark side chuckled in amused exasperation. "It would help if someone specified which Game King they were writing to," he commented wryly.

Yugioh Moutou,

You are hereby invited to fill the position of Potions Professor, at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Should you choose to accept, the Hogwarts express will be leaving from Domino Station, platform 3½, every Tuesday at 12:00 noon. Please send a reply with the owl that delivered this letter, informing us of your decision, and/or date of arrival.

We await your owl.

Yugi was puzzled. "What owl?" he asked doubtfully. Yami stared intently into his hikari's hair. "Yami? Yami, wake up."

His dark side reached out carefully and extracted a tiny bundle of feathers from Yugi's mass of black and red ringlets. The bundle was black too, with red chest feathers. It shook itself and opened steady gold eyes as confident as Yami's own. Its wings spread slightly for balance and they caught glimpses of bright gold under its wings. "I believe they mean this owl, aibou." The tiny tri-coloured owl slipped from his grasp to return to its nest in Yugi's hair. Yugi sighed, but left it there - it was not as if his hair could get any worse, after all.

Somewhere far away, a brown-eyed god looked up at this, the corners of his mouth twitching into a mischievous smile. Oh, can't it? We'll see about that.

The tricolour haired boys returned to studying the letter.

"It sounds challenging," Yami mused. Since the main bits and pieces of his destiny had been fulfilled there had been precious little excitement in their lives. He craved a challenge the same way normal people craved large quantities of chocolate. It was better for him too, and made him just as hyper. Here was something new he could overcome.

It never occurred to the Pharaoh that he could loose. His supreme confidence was only saved from being called arrogance because it was true - he never lost. And even if he no longer had a kingdom, and his few remaining 'subjects' had not the slightest interest in obeying him, he was still a ruler. He wanted desperately to try this teaching position. Now if only Yugi would agree. . .

"Um, Yami?"

"Yes aibou?"

"Do you think they'd know how to fix my hair?"

Yami grinned.

Albus had managed to find more than a few excuses to avoid his office, and - incidentally - the aggressive golden owl that had inhabited it. By the time he ran out of excuses and returned to the place, it was evening, and the last answer that he had been expecting had arrived. The tri-coloured owl looked very fluffy and contented as it continued to consume the last of the headmaster's supply of lemon drops. Dumbledore snarled. The small ball of feathers instantly demonstrated its survival skills by fluttering away to hide behind Fawkes. Fortunately for the owl, Dumbledore reflected later, it had dropped the letter on his desk before consuming his entire lemon drop supply. It was one less reason for him to strangle it.

Albus took seven deep, calming breaths, forcing - allowing - the tension that had accumulated over the day to drain out of him. Tranquilly, he scanned the reply note from Yugioh, noting that this one was marginally less brief, but also less definite, which could be said to outweigh its good points.

We accept your challenge. You may expect us either this Tuesday, or the next.

Regards, Yugioh

Interesting that at least two, and probably all three, were planning to arrive as soon as possible. It was quite unexpected.

The headmaster calmly collected all three of the notes, and cast a quick charm to affix them to the dart-board he had set up in the corner of his office for later use. He then tried several cleaning spells, until he finally found one that would remove owl droppings, after which he slumped down into his chair and proceeded to ignore the world in general and three members of the ODD in particular. Half-shut blue eyes twinkled irrepressibly, behind half-moon spectacles.

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"If there's anything more important than my ego, I want it caught and shot now."

~Zaphod Beeblebrox, Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams

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In case you've forgotten, ODD stands for Owls Disliking/Despising Dumbledore.

Currently vying for the title 'most faithful reviewer' are Cyborgirl0016, and Silvie (Lady Silver Dragon I) who have both reviewed all three chapters so far. I have yet to work out a decent points system - there should be bonuses for constructive criticism, intelligent questions, humour, amount of personality, etc. And why has nobody asked what Ma'ik's owl is called?

Reavywe replise:

Cyborgirl0016 - * Wipes blob of icecream off nose and screams "SUGAR" * Thanx! *An expression of deep concern over Joey's plight is conspicuously absent on Eris' face.

Hobbit13 - Close but no cigar. Ya know the only one of the three likely to have a restraining influence? The Pharaoh? He's teaching potions instead. And guess who the third DADA professor is? I'll try to watch Dumbledore's character, but right at the moment he is having a very bad day. Even semi-omniscient Order leaders can have bad days, yes? He's on Eris' hit list.

Silvie - Late fees huh? *grimaces in complete understanding. Murphy appeared in this chapter, did you see? In my train. . . *random idea pops up* I don't own the Hogwarts' Express, perhaps I should create my own train. Golden Sun, what's Golden Sun? I want it, whatever it is. Glad you think Malik & Marik are in character - I can't tell. They will be crazier/bitterer when they are in chapters with stuff to be crazy/bitter about, and to terrorise. Do try to get on Mithril's good side - she has powerful friends so you don't want her mad at you. Owls are smarter than you think. *Fades into distance, followed by random thundercloud and four sheep.*

Mavelus - Mmmm. Nice compliment. I hope I can live up to the challenge.

Kanberry - *looks innocent* Did I say minions? I meant students.

Inu-Ice-Dragon - Thanks. I will make sure it will be.

Eris, Goddess of Discord, Darklady of the Spire, and Patroness of Chaos

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Review Please.