I suppose it's ungrateful of me, is it, to rant about my life? To complain about the fact that I have no proper family, when there are countless orphans outside of Hogwarts who do not even have the inheritance I do. To shudder at my Aunt and Uncle's, shall we say, mistreatment, when there are numerous children being physically, sexually and mentally abused every day. To think of the fact that I only have a 50/50 chance at living, when those diagnosed with Cancer - it's a fatal muggle malady for which there is no cure - have even less.
If you put it into that perspective, I'm really quite a spoiled little boy. The-Boy-Who-Lived, they call me. More like the boy who lived and bloody well refused to die. You were right, after all, Professor. I'm a spoiled arrogant brat who struts about the school, acting as if I am above the rules.
Would I get away without detention if I told you that this is my way of dealing with my personal demon? That all this stress which my fragile little mind can't cope with is driving me to absurd notions. I could use the weight of the wizarding world as an excuse for me being 'unbalanced', as the Daily Prophet would tel you with glee. And you know, despite the wizarding world being completely different from the muggle world, there are quite a few common points.
Well yes, apart from the fact that both worlds have to deal with an insufferable prat like me. I'd appreciate it if you kept your comments to yourself, sir. After all, you were the one who wished to talk to me about my life because Dumbledore's precious golden boy is going mad.
I'm actually quite glad that you did. Not many people listen to me talk without interrupting with bouts of "Oh Harry!" or "You poor dear!" or perhaps even, "Can I quote you on that, Mr. Potter?". Yes, I realise it is on the orders of Dumbledore. That does not mean I'm not thankful to you that you did.
Because even though my troubles are insignificantly small when you compare them to others, it doesn't mean I have to be happy about it.
There, that's another thing to report back to Dumbledore. "Potter is lost in a world of self-pity and cannot raise his head above the depression in order to combat the Dark Lord, it is in the Light's best interest to seek out another martyr or savior, no matter what the prophecy states."
I'm sorry Professor. Please don't kick me out, I'll stop this insolence, I really will.
If Malfoy could see me now, begging to you. He would have a field day.
Sorry. I'll get on with it.
Where was I? Oh yes, common points between Muggles and Wizards. Well for one, that both 'races', if you will, consider me to be an abnormal freak which should be at worst locked up, at best killed. Who? What do you mean who? The Daily Prophet, Fudge. You.
Oh you meant the Muggle world. well, my Aunt and Uncle and my cousin for one. And by extension, every single other person I've known, as my only living relatives have made it clear enough to the world that I'm a mad delinquent.
Shocked, professor? I don't see why you should be. After all, one does not live in a cupboard ofr 11 years because one is loved. Don't pretend you don't know. My Hogwarts letter, for Merlin's sake, was addressed to the Cupboard under the Stairs.
Oh. An self-addressing spell. Forget I said anything.
No, I do not wish to talk about it. I don't give a damn what Professor Dumbledore thinks I need. And don't you ruddy well try to tell me that he has my best interests at heart. I don't see how lying to me for over five years is in my best interest.
Yes, I've heard your "The Headmaster does not wish to divulge his plans" speech before. But when the matter at hand involves me more directly than any other person alive, perhaps Voldemort???
Yes, I do mean the prophecy. So you've heard it? Oh great. Everyone knows except me, the person the prophecy speaks about. Don't you think, had I known about this sooner, I would have taken things more seriously? Don't you think, had Dumbledore told me that there was something 100 at stake, I would have tried to look past your jeers and your sneers and tried to learn Occlumency?
Oh come on, don't fool yourself, professor. For you, Occlumency is nothing more than an excuse to taunt poor little Potter boy with haunting memories of his past. It's not like you actually tried to teach me. It was more something along the lines of "Potter! Shield your mind!". But were you going to explain how? Were you going to explain exactly how the mind is attacked, so I could better defend?
No, of course not. Because it was oh so amusing watching poor little Harry Potter, at the age of 3, bawling his eyes out because he scalded his hands washing the dishes!
I'm sorry. I'll stop. I should go, it's late.
I'll see you tomorrow in Potions, professor.
Will be updated on a regular basis. Expect somewhere around two or three times a week. Not meant to be long. Maybe 4-5 chapters at most.
Thanks for reading, and please review! grin
Phire