By myself but not Alone
So I dub thee unforgiven
Disclaimer: I don't own final fantasy 8
IMPORTANT! Unfortunately I regret to announce that updates are ganna take awhile at the moment. Believe me when I say that I'm pissed off to, but I'm trying to fight the system on this one but it's not going too well. I'll update when I can though.
RINOA'S POV
Squall's not talking to me… well its not that he isn't talking to me it's just that he's full on avoiding me. No one's telling me why either, I nearly got it out of Zell the other day but then Quistis came along and ruined everything.
I don't understand it; I thought that we were sweet with each other again, apparently not.
I sigh, deciding that these thoughts aren't getting me anywhere. I've been thinking about my situation with Squall since we had that fight on the Ragnarok and so far it's not getting me anywhere.
I can see Seifer approaching me and I smile at him. So far he's been a really good friend to me, bar the fact that I never really see him. He's always busy, much like Squall.
"Hi Seifer." I say happily, throwing all my former emotions to the wind.
He nods but doesn't say anything; it's his way of saying hi. Much like all the boys do to each other.
"I heard you and your lover boy are on the rocks." Seifer says nonchalantly.
I know he's not jealous or anything, Seifer and I happened a long time ago and we both know that we just don't feel that way about each other anymore. Well not completely, I do admit he's hot and he's got a body that could melt ice but I've grown up a bit since we went out and I realise that it takes more than a godlike body to create a working relationship.
"He's not my lover boy Seifer." I say sternly.
I can't let on that I like him to Seifer, even if we are over each other, Seifer would take too much pleasure in giving me shit about it.
"Yeah whatever, everyone's talking about it. Apparently you're pregnant." Seifer laughed.
"WHAT! I haven't even kissed him or anything!" I exclaim.
I know I know, I should laugh it off but c'mon! This place is worse than my high school.
"That's not what I heard…"
My conversation with Seifer is cut short as a couple of cadet girls walk past, they glance at me for a second or two before huddling together as they walk and giggling.
The part that shocked me was the glare that I was sent, if looks could kill…
"What the hell was that about?" I enquire.
I don't even know who the hell those girls are and here they are scowling at me like I've slept with their boyfriend… oh geez.
"Squall's popular isn't he." I sigh, not letting Seifer bother answer.
Seifer nods before going back to checking the two girls out. I've noticed in my time here that he is a rampant flirt. Not half as bad as Irvine though.
"You chose possibly the worst candidate for your love interest. Mainly because every other girl in this place did as well. Apparently the bad boy things out and the 'I'm the commander of a military academy' is in."
"Since when?" I ask.
"Since Squall got promoted from SeeD to Commander. SeeD was in before that." Seifer chuckled.
I know why he finds it so humorous. After my continuing contact with Squall I know that he doesn't really enjoy people fawning over him and the fact that the female population are doing just that would bug the living shit out of him. Any other guy on earth would love it but Squall weird like that.
"You don't suppose he's gay do you?" I ask, the words are out of my mouth before I can stop them.
I don't honestly think that, he's far too sexy for that. But as the saying goes… all the best women are married, all the handsome men are gay.
"Squall? I don't think so… he doesn't come off that way."
SQUALL'S POV
"You fucking faggot."
I glare menacingly at Irvine; I'm seriously contemplating causing some damage to his face but decide against it. As commander I have a certain level of maturity to live up to and making a public scene with Irvine isn't going to do my reputation any good.
"I shouldn't have said anything!" I burst out.
I'm very confused at the moment and Irvine isn't helping. Why do I always come to this man for advice? All he does is frustrate me.
"Well what did you think I was ganna say?"
I groan, I knew this was coming but I spose I wanted to talk to someone. I know that everyone… well everyone that matters… well almost everyone that matters, know why I'm being such a prat to Rinoa.
I would've been better to talk to Quistis.
"Why don't you just get over this whole leaving thing?" Irvine says, I think he's reading my mind or something.
Nah Irvine doesn't have the mind control for something like that… he doesn't have any special talents like that, unless being a constant pain in the ass is a talent. Zell manages to do it pretty well.
"Fuck it, I'm not having this conversation with you."
I start walking away and I can hear Irvine laughing behind me but I don't really want to turn around and tell him to shut up, I don't really want to turn around and tell him anything.
'If I were Quistis… where would I be…?'
After about fifteen minutes of searching I find her. She's where she always is, in the infirmary.
"Quistis, I need to have words with you." I say as formally as I can.
I don't want to let on that I need her girly advice! Once again I have a reputation!
"Let me guess. You don't know what to do with Rinoa." Dr Kadowaki says from her desk.
I groan loudly and put my head in my hands, if she knows then everyone must.
"How the hell do you know?"
"I'll ask you not to cuss in here please Squall." Dr Kadowaki scowls.
I apologise but urge her to go on.
"Everyone is talking about it." she replies casually.
"Whats the immediate problem, the amount of rumours I've heard I need to be put up to speed with the truth." Quistis cuts in.
"Rinoa's departure."
"I thought so. Why don't you just spend all the time you can with her?" Quistis enquires.
"Whats the point? She's just going to leave; wouldn't it be better to just leave her alone?"
Quistis chuckles for awhile, apparently finding something incredibly funny, I can't see what the hell that could be but Quistis is strange. Actually come to think of it… what the hell is wrong with all my friends?
"You act as though you thought she'd be here forever. You knew as well as I did that as soon as Caraway was done here that she was going to leave. Maybe if we're lucky she'll visit… if there's still a Garden to visit…" Quistis trailed off.
She'd heard the same thing that I had; apparently Caraway had found sufficient evidence to destroy Balamb Garden. There was no conformation of this though but it was enough to almost send Garden into a panic. I was hoping that this information hadn't leaked out yet… apparently I was wrong.
I know protocol though, as soon as Caraway and Rinoa are gone well move… and Rinoa will never see me again… I will never see Rinoa again…
The life of a SeeD…
I nod, deciding that this conversation is getting a little depressing I turn to leave.
"Squall!" Quistis calls out after me. "She really cares about you; remember that the next time you talk to her."
NORMAL POV… the next day
Squall walked through the narrow corridors of Garden; he was on his way to the Training Centre for an early morning work out. He didn't have time to think about his current predicaments when he was killing a furiosus monster.
Squall's head perked up when he heard footsteps behind him, they sounding a lot like Rinoa's boots.
'Yeah right… how ironic would it be if it was Rinoa! She's never up at this time anyway…' Squall thought as he looked over his shoulder to see who it was.
Paradoxically it was none other than Rinoa Heartilly. She smiled weakly at him and waved, apparently she'd known he was there for quite some time.
"Morning." She said as she approached him.
"Good Morning." Squall replied.
They both looked uncomfortable for awhile, not quite knowing what to say. Squall was going to just end the conversation there and keep going to the Training Centre but Rinoa had other plans.
"Why are you ignoring me?" Rinoa enquired quietly.
She had her head down and was unwilling to look at Squall. He was somewhat thankful for this for if she did he doubted that he could lie. Rinoa just had that affect on him.
"I'm not. I've been very busy lately."
"That's not true." Rinoa stated.
Squall sighed; he didn't really want to have this conversation but knew that it was unavoidable at this present time. But Squall was a master of dodging certain subjects, his feelings being one of these.
"Listen, I'm just on my way to train at the moment, I'll catch up with you later."
Later on that afternoon
"I just don't know what the hell is wrong with him. I thought we were all good but then he just turned." Rinoa sighed.
She was sitting in the cafeteria, enjoying an early dinner with Selphie and Quistis, both of whom had a couple of days off from their usual work. They'd been bragging to Irvine and Zell about it earlier that day, how they applied for it and were looking forward to a hard night of partying in Balamb later. Selphie said it was their way of making sure that they'd be there.
"Squall's just fucked up, I wouldn't worry about him. Besides he'll be with us tonight, talk to him when he's got a couple of drinks down him." Selphie said as she shovelled her tiny mouth with food.
"Why? Whats happening tonight?" Rinoa enquired.
"Has no bastard told you? Fuck they're slack!" Selphie cursed.
"Selphie! Young ladies don't talk like that!" Quistis scowled, "Selphie and I have been planning to have a 'girl's night out' for the past two months. You see we have to apply for days off at least two week prior to when we want it off. Unfortunately for us usually the boys decide to crash our night out because-"
"They're big tough men and they don't need a day off after they drink!" Selphie cut in.
"I wasn't aware that SeeD's have time off." Rinoa stated.
"Well generally they don't but it's just like any other job, we can have days off and we have sick days and whatnot." Quistis replied.
Rinoa nodded, she supposed it was just like any other job… bar the fact that the work criteria may be slightly different to most other jobs.
"I'm sorry no one told you Rinny." Selphie said solemnly.
"It's alright Selph, I'm starting to get used to it."
EVEN LATER THAT NIGHT
Rinoa slipped on the same white dress she wore to the concert weeks earlier. She went through the same dilemma that accompanied that dress last time.
'Oh could that ass get any bigger!' Rinoa thought.
She sucked in her stomach and stood in front of her full length mirror, staring at her reflection. She heard a knock on the door and yelled out for whoever it was to come in. she knew that it would be Selphie and Quistis, they'd said that they'd come and get here before they left.
"Oh no Rinny you cant wear that!" Selphie groaned.
Rinoa glanced at their reflections in the mirror and understood why. She was completely over dressed and she looked completely out of place with them.
Selphie wore black sleeveless top with a slanted hem at the bottom that started just below her breasts on one side and ended beside her hips on the other. She accompanied this with a pair of white short shorts and black boots. She had heaps of gold jewellery on and her hair had been straightened so it didn't flip out at the bottom anymore.
Rinoa was quite shocked at Selphie's look, she wasn't the cute, cuddly Selphie Rinoa was used to seeing bounce around Garden. She looked like a sexy siren Selphie, it was quite a change.
Quistis on the other hand was quite a shocker as well and Rinoa suddenly fully understood how she got a fan club. She wore a pair of black hipster flared leather pants that clung to her perfect figure till her knee's then flared out. Rinoa could see a pair of chunky boots underneath her pants that were somewhat intimidating. As well as these she had an Ivory knit close-fitting midriff top on with some sort of flower or leaf pattern knitted into it. It didn't have a back just beaded straps to hold it up and it contrasted elegantly with her pants. Her hair was left out but straightened as well so that it went down to at least the middle of her back.
'Hey… if this is what they're wearing… I wonder what Squall will be wearing…' Rinoa found herself thinking.
"Uhhh… I dunno if I own clothes like that." Rinoa muttered.
"It's alright Rinny, don't panic… me and Quistis have heaps of clothes like this!"
47 minutes later
Rinoa had had a lot of different opinions on the clothing that they had pulled out. Selphie's clothes mainly consisted of barely there outfits that Rinoa doubted she would ever have the confidence to pull off and Quistis's were usually a little too girly. In the end they just led her to the closet and told her to choose her own damn outfit.
She came out with a pink and black lace midriff top that showed a fair bit of cleavage, something Rinoa didn't even think she had! She had a black suit jacket on that she left one button done up below her breasts. Underneath these she had a pair of tight faded jeans that flared out at the bottoms; you could just see the top of her girly underwear with miraculously matched her lace top. She had also chosen a hat; it was a black bucket cap that she had slanted to the side. She'd left her hair out, as per usual, and had a pair of black pointed heels.
She had to admit, she was dressed a little more conservatively than her SeeD friends, but she was too self-conscious.
"That'll have to do." Quistis said as she walked over to Rinoa and played with her hair for a little bit.
"Ha ha, they're your clothes." Rinoa said sarcastically.
"Well don't worry about old hag bitch there; I think you look very sexy." Selphie stated.
"Can we go now?" Quistis said, it was more of a command then a question.
She grabbed her handbag and started out the door.
Selphie rolled her eyes and started after her; Rinoa took one last fleeting look at herself and sighed. She took a deep breath and walked behind the pair.
Rinoa wasn't aware that SeeD's had their own cars, well apparently they did… and nice ones at that. They were in Quistis's car, she said that they wouldn't be driving back but they'd go and get it in the morning. She said that the walk home was half the fun.
Rinoa didn't understand how walking along a path, drunk could be fun. Not to mention the fact that if you strayed from the path, as you probably would, you'd be attacked by monsters. Not terribly nasty monsters but monsters nonetheless.
They parked near the docks in Balamb and they exited the car. Rinoa noticed Selphie and Quistis staring at a black car that was parked nearby.
"Well it looks like they're already here." Quistis stated.
"That's Squall's car." Selphie whispered to Rinoa who nodded.
They made their way towards a random door that was along a long line of buildings. Rinoa could already hear the loud thumping music; it was much different from what was being played at the concert when she'd first got to Garden. This was more, bassy… more like…
"This is a metal club!" Rinoa exclaimed.
She now completely understood exactly why her dress wasn't appropriate.
"Yes and no. it plays good music but they're isn't really a great population of Goths or punks or anything like that in Balamb. The council has tried to shut it down so many times but due to its popularity they haven't been able to. It's the best club in town… in my opinion anyway." Quistis explained.
Rinoa thought she understood, but not really. What was the point in having a club like this in a town that didn't have any people that were into the music, or as she would find out the setting inside? How wrong she was.
Once inside Rinoa noticed that they had to go down a flight of stairs, along the stairs were a couple of bouncers and some random seedy looking dude. The first thing she noticed was standing on a stage sort of setting was a man doing fire tricks, he was currently juggling fire sticks and seemed to be doing it in time with the music.
Along the walls were holes in the walls with people dancing inside them and the floor looked like a chess board. There was a DJ behind a glass shield in one of the holes in the wall and along the bar were a bunch of fire shots… which was where they found Zell Irvine and Squall.
Selphie walked over to them and kissed Irvine on the cheek, he smiled at her, his mouth slanted in a sort of half grin. He was drunk.
Beside him Zell took another fire shot, blowing the fire out before he took it. He whipped his mouth and he too grinned… sorta…
Rinoa pushed her way through the people, they were everywhere! Quistis and Selphie had somehow managed to make there way through them without much difficulty but Rinoa was having a great time trying.
She could see the back of Irvine's head which was enough to let her know what direction she was supposed to be going.
When she finally got there she said her hello's and took a seat beside Zell, who offered her a drink immediately.
She noticed he was wearing faded ripped jeans and a black and red t-shirt. His hair was spiked as per usual and he had grey skate shoes on.
Irvine had the same sort of faded jeans on, except not ripped and a grey button up shirt. He still had his black leather cowboy hat on and Rinoa couldn't help but smile at how weird he looked.
Squall was on the other side of Irvine and Rinoa couldn't help but notice how good he looked in casual clothes. He looked good in his usual clothes… black leather… drool.
But he cleaned up nicely.
He had a pair of dark blue baggy jeans on, something Rinoa had doubted she'd ever see him wearing, with a pair of grey skate shoes. He had a black button up shirt with a white t-shirt underneath that had slightly longer sleeves than his button shirt.
His hair was messy and slightly damp but that was the style that suited him best. He'd look strange if he ever tried to look good. That was what made him so good looking. The fact that he didn't try to.
Rinoa caught Squall's eye and they exchanged glances. Rinoa knew Squall was a little drunk because he'd never stare at her like that if she was watching him. He raised his shot glass to her and she smiled a little, he then downed it and stood up from his stool.
"Seeing as the females are here." Squall slurred, he lost his balance for a second before regaining his composure and continuing, "We shall go and get ourselves a different seating… place."
It was then Rinoa noticed something. When she had first came to Garden she had thought everyone was nuts because of their adoration of Squall, but she was coming to be the same. When he'd just talked then, even though she was sober she couldn't help but listen. When she'd first came here she probably would've thought he was nothing more than a drunken loser and dismissed any comment that he may have made. But things were different now.
They walked towards a booth in the corner. Squall's choice of course. It was red leather cushioned with a wooden table in the middle.
Quistis slid in first, Selphie followed and then Irvine pushed past Zell, who was planning on sitting beside Selphie. Zell rolled his eyes and took his seat, followed by Rinoa, then Squall.
'Ok, he avoids me, gets drunk and likes me again… weirdo.' Rinoa giggled at her own thoughts but no one noticed.
"Garcon!" Irvine yelled.
A waitress came over and glared at Irvine, she must've got that a lot.
"Can you bring us a bottle of Jim Beam, filled to the brim with alcohol and six shot glasses." Irvine continued.
What followed could've quite possibly been one of the best nights of Rinoa's life.
But unfortunately you won't find out what the night was like until next time. Once again I apologise in advance should this take ages to get up but as I said I'm trying to fight the system on this one but all I'm managing to do is piss it off!
Hope you liked that chapter and I know there hasn't been any Rinoa Squall stuff in ages, but you can almost guarantee that there probably will be in the next chapter.