A Change In Faith
Disclaimer I don't own Gundam Wing and/or its characters. I'm just a sixteen-year-old girl who's only possession of value is her hair that reaches her knees. (Smiles, I really do have hair as long as Duo's)
June 14th, 2004 11:09 P.M., Maxwell home, 1446 Sudor st.
"Where are you going, Duo?" I ask my brother as he tried to sneak out the backdoor.
He winced. "No where, Hil, I just want some fresh air."
I nodded. "Okay, just like last night."
He paused just before stepping out. "Yeah, just like last night," he stated quietly.
I know he isn't just going out for some air. It's just like always, he leaves and then comes back just before he thinks I'm awake. He's wrong though, I am awake when he comes home. I know he goes to gay bars, I know that he is gay, I know that he is scared. More scared than I am, I don't want him to be gay, I know he doesn't want to be gay. It just happened, I wish he would try and stop, not go to bars with his friends.
What if he has sex? It wouldn't be with a woman, I'm afraid mother or father will find out and be upset. They would be mad at me too, because I knew all along.
I would probably cry, they should know though. I do. I don't think he knows that I know. Our parents are blind, they don't realize that he doesn't listen in church like I do, or that he hasn't cut his hair since he was five because he wants to assume independence and that he won't smart up and cut it off.
I wait for hours at our kitchen table, waiting for my brother to return. I almost wished he was off getting drunk and blacking out and waking up with a woman he's never seen before rather than him hanging out with gay friends and other gay people who will only make him worse. It was six when he finally came back, I had dozed off a few times but I was awake to greet him.
Duo looked at me with big eyes, his mouth slightly agape.
"I guess you needed a lot of air, huh?" I asked calmly.
He nodded. "Yeah, a lot of air," he paused for a moment before Turning his gaze from the floor to me. "Listen, Hilde, don't tell mom and dad. I don't want to hurt them, yet."
"Okay, Duo."
I watched him walked toward the entryway of our kitchen. "If you don't want them to be hurt, than why don't you just try to be normal?"
He stopped. "I am normal. I'm just not straight. I can't help the way I was born, Hil, this wasn't something I would ever voluntarily choose to be. Please understand."
With that he left and headed upstairs to his room. I stayed in the kitchen about half an hour longer after he had left. My head was swimming with all the thoughts he had provoked.
I need to talk to my friends today. I'll call them in an hour.
June 15th, 2004 1:20 P.M., Harcourt Mall
My two best friends and I were sitting at the food court at the mall. Relena was wearing a really cute peasant top with that was pink and had lace on it, she had faded blue jeans and a matching pink purse. Her shoes were really cute kitten heal thongs that were pink with blue beading.
Dorothy was wearing a violet tank top that had lavender lace along the neckline, she too wore faded jeans but hers were torn and had bleach stains on them, her shoes were yellow Converse sneakers.
I love my friends. I also love how they always look so perfect. I was wearing jeans similar to Dorothy's, a yellow screen tee that has a green outline of a tractor on it and the words 'I think your tractor is sexy', I was wearing my green Converses. I did look cute, but Dorothy and Relena way outstripped me.
"How do you feel about gay people?" I suddenly blurted out, interrupting Relena's flow of gossip.
Relena sighed and then shrugged. " I think homosexuality is kinda gross. I mean, why would you want something you already have?"
"I have no problems with it whatsoever. I think gay people are really good people and deserve better treatment than what they get," Dorothy said in a stern, 'no questions' sort of voice.
"Why do you ask, Hilde?" Relena smirked. "Did you have a horrible flirting disaster that after an entire night of relentless flirting, you went in for a kiss, only to have him tell you that you were cute and all, but he's actually gay and has no interest in you other than friendship?"
Dorothy and I both looked at her with raised eyebrows. "Have you had this sort of . . . problem before?" I asked finally.
She smiled at me. "Of course I have, now tell me if you have."
I shook my head. "Nope, never."
Dorothy just gave an exasperated sigh at the two of us. "You two are hopeless. Relena, you need to date less, and Hil, you need a man and fast."
Relena just rolled her eyes. "C'mon, Doro, look who's talking. You have never dated a man in your life."
"I am a revolutionary, I plan on not ever going out of the market 'till I plan on finding a permanent mate," Dorothy stated proudly.
She smirked at us and we all dissolved into a helpless fit of giggles. That's why I'm friends with these guys, instant mood brighteners.
June 15th, 2004 4:48 P.M. Maxwell home.
I just got back from the mall with Doro and Lena. We went shopping at Gadzooks, Urban Outfitters, and American Eagle. We had a blast. All of us came home with at least three new outfits. I need to tell you about my car, we use mine when we go places since Doro and Lena both only have two-seated convertibles. I drive a salsa red, 2003 Toyota Prius. Duo only drives a Jeep, it was the cheapest possible Jeep too, so extras whatsoever. He hasn't got heat, AC, automatic trans., he has vinyl seats, a soft top that he never has on. It is liberty blue and has a black interior. (1)
I trudge up the stairs leading to my bedroom. I notice that Duo's door is open, slightly and decide to show him what I bought. When I open his door I see, not only my brother sitting on his bed, but another boy next to him, kissing him.
I feel my eyes widen and my pupils dilate, I suddenly feel like a statue. My bags drop from my shocked fingers. Both the boy and my brother turn to look at me.
Duo's eyes widen as well. "Hilde, I'm sorry, I didn't intend for you to witness that!"
I feel myself trembling. I don't know what to do. Duo comes toward me and put his hand on my arm.
"Hil, are you alright?"
I couldn't talk I just stared at him with big eyes, my mouth wide open.
"Du- Du- Duo? Is, is that...?" I stuttered.
He nodded. "Hilde, this is my boyfriend, Heero."
The boy smiled at me, he was Asian, had a shock of messy chocolate-colored hair and blue eyes the exact color of Duo's Jeep. He was absolutely gorgeous. When he got up and walked to where me and Duo were standing I felt sort of scared. It's when he put his arms around my younger brother that I felt truly threatened.
I wanted to lash out, so I did. "Stay away from him! He's not supposed to be like you! He needs to be normal!" I yelled with tears in my eyes.
I looked up at Duo, his eyes had turned to lavender ice. His face had no expression whatsoever. His lips were set firm.
"Leave Hilde, I've told you I am normal. If you want to preach talk to dad. I don't want to hear it!" he hissed.
I ran,I was just barely able to pick up the bags before I made may way down the hallway, to my own room. As far from Duo and that other boy. I couldn't tell if were him or myself that I couldn't stand. I was too confused.
I practically fell into my room. I was comforted my its lavender walls, dark wooden furniture, white lace curtains and the white lacy bedding with small violet blossoms embroidered onto it.
I threw myself onto the pristine bed face-first and cried. I cried for hours before I finally dragged myself to the bathroom connected to my bedroom and washed my face. It was seven and time for dinner. Mom and daddy would be home from work.
I finished up and went downstairs to the dining room where mom was setting the table. She smiled at me when I came in and I offered to help her. The evening went on as it would have normally if I had never seen my brother's boyfriend. I hoped that it would remain normal for a long time.
(1) These are real color names for Jeeps and Toyotas. And Duo's Jeep, is my Jeep plus heat 'cause it ain't warm where I live.
Please review my fic! I promise it will get a lot better later on!
Love,
Terra Cotta Fox