A/N: Arigatou gozaimasu for everyone's reviews! I feel so special. Sorry for the incredibly long wait. I had a real life to catch up on. gasp And I was also starting an Aoshi/Soujiro fanfic, too. And fixing up my website.

Okay, it seems that I am strangely obsessed with writing Okita POVs. I don't know why. So, this chapter is, yet again, an Okita POV. It's just easier to write from his perspective! Considering he's the more 'emotion-ful' person of the two. Heh. But really, thanks so much for your support. I really wasn't expecting any readers for this fanfic at all, to be honest.

This chapter is kind of long. But it just kept writing itself, so I couldn't help it!

And millions of thanks to Oniwabanshu, who has been faithfully urging me along with my fanfics, and helping me get off my lazy behind and write something. You've been so supportive, thanks so much!

09.19-----WOW. It's been SO long since I updated. I've been so busy with school life and all that, and I've had almost no time. However, it's done some good because now that I came back and reread this, I realized that it would not be very Okita-like to spill his heart out to Soujiro just yet. So...hence, the rewrite!

The Flow of Blood

chapter five: a midnight conversation

Bright stars twinkled softly as Okita Souji peered at them, lying down on his back. They were sweetly calling to him, it seemed, beckoning him, almost. The silver rays of moonlight flooded the green grass and illuminated the blue bundle of fabric next to him; the dark brown hair of his traveling companion seeming to have a surrounding halo of white light.

He was still there. Okita's instincts told him to immediately leave the boy after his identity was revealed, but something inside of him could not push that young man away. Soujiro was a senseless murderer, an emotionless prodigy of the sword, but Okita could not find it in himself to pull out his own weapon and challenge the other.

He found himself give off a small sigh of disappointment. Before, during his Shinsengumi days, if he had hesitated to kill an offender, he wouldn't have thought twice about committing sepukku. And now...

He lay, with eyes wide open, smothering himself in the wake of the events that had passed. He thought of the first time that he saw Soujiro, a week-and-a-half earlier, under the edge of his shed, curled up into a small ball of blue mass. The way that he smiled. The way his lips were upturned and happy, but his eyes--they were bleak.

And so Okita found his mind wandering. He thought of the first time he had heard of the Juppongatana, from Saitou. And he thought about Saitou himself, and what they had, and what they didn't have anymore. And the Shinsengumi, and all things that had passed that pained his heart so. Okita clearly remembered watching, horrified, as Kondou Isami was decapitated, and felt blood drain from his face as his sensei's head was displayed, like an animal, to the public.

There were some things that he could never put behind him. A man's past doesn't just make up a part of who he is, like Soujiro had said, it is who he is. A man is his past.

And Okita Souji's past was riddled with pain, blood, a flash of steel, and the sound of a hacking cough. So, in his mind, that was all he was to himself.

Okita gave of a small sigh, one that melted into the air as soon as it passed his lips. And he somehow felt that he was being watched. Quickly, he turned to the right and then to the left, and then his eyes fell upon lackluster pools of dark blue.

"Soujiro."

It was not a question, but a statement.

A cheery voice answered him. "What are you doing up so late, Okita-sama?"

"I could ask you the same," He said, rather coldly.

"True, true." Soujiro's voice maintained a constant level of happiness. "I just found myself incapable of sleeping, at the moment." He gave off a stark laugh.

"So did I." He was annoyed, and it showed. Couldn't a man drown in his misery in peace?

"Looks like you were thinking about something," Soujiro said, the emotionless smile in his voice was evident.

"What makes you think that?" Okita snapped.

"Oh, I don't know. I sometimes do that too. Thinking in the middle of the night."

This boy will never know, Okita told himself firmly, He'll never know what I go through. He isn't haunted by his past. He isn't haunted by who he is. He's just a merciless killer with an idiotic smile.

"It's not exactly relaxing," He heard Soujiro continue. "But sometimes, I just feel like thinking."

"Thinking about what?" Okita said quietly, with a bit of spite. "Your many whores?" He mumbled it under his breath, so that Soujiro would not hear. Then, he quickly reprimanded himself for insulting the boy for no apparent reason. It was unlike him. But he found a small bubble of hostility rising from inside him, toward the boy. Why, he could not say.

Soujiro just laughed at the insult. "I don't have a lover, Okita-sama."

Blinking in surprise, Okita turned to the boy. He wasn't meant to hear those words. But...he was also uninvolved with women? "You don't?"

"Iie."

"Oh." Okita felt another small surge of guilt, which was quickly brushed aside. He had thought that the boy was wading in women, with a face as handsome as his. He himself had been pursued by girls, back when he was younger, but he found himself more attracted to men than the latter.

"So what were you thinking about, Okita-sama?" Soujiro tried again.

"It's none of your buisness."

"I see." Soujiro paused for a moment. "I feel that my presence is upsetting you, Okita-sama. Would you like it if we went our separate ways?"

Okita turned to the younger man. His face was lit up by the cool moonlight, bearing the traces of a smile. Yes, it was reasonable to let the boy leave. He didn't trust him. He found himself quite unnerved by the boy as well. It was the better thing to do.

"Iie, Soujiro-san. That would not be in my best interests."

And there he went again. Some other thing, tugging at the bottom of his heart, kept him from sending the boy away. It really began to frustrate him.

"Honto ni?" Soujiro blinked. "I feel that you do not like me very much." He quickly bowed. "Not that I mistrust your decision to dislike me. I am sure that it's the right thing for you to feel toward me."

This boy just kept confusing him over and over and over again. He was so polite. So respectful. And...an emotionless killer? Somehow, it just didn't fit together. Okita found himself silent for a very long time.

"Am I upsetting you, Okita-sama?"

Silence.

"Okita-sama?"

Okita turned to the young man, his eyes warm--or rather, warmer than they were previously. Soujiro looked at him, the smile just barely playing on his face. His eyes were wide and curious. His soft skin seemed to radiate with light, his face as bright and beautiful as the moon. Yes, he used to be an emotionless killer, that was a fact. But...was he, now? Okita had firmly believed that a man cannot change who he was and, therefore, could not change himself. He is who he was. But...

"I don't understand you, Soujiro-san. You make no sense to me."

Soujiro smiled. It was different than how he normally smiled, it seemed. His face lit up, his eyes shimmering in the dim light surrounding them. "I know exactly how that feels, Okita-sama. I know exactly how that feels."

"Do you?"

The young man did not answer, but Okita could almost hear the smile that was stretched across his face. Silence passed between the two, and Okita especially felt Soujiro's discomfort.

"Okita-sama, would you be offended if I dared to question why I confuse you?" Soujiro asked, rather timidly.

"It's a long story." Okita said quickly, not wanting to delve into the subject further.

"I'm listening. We have all night." Soujiro grinned sweetly, folding his hands inside his lap. He cocked his head just a little, in a way that the starlight caught his eyes at such an angle that they seemed to be sparkling within them.

Did he want to tell this boy about what he had gone through? Did he dare to even think about telling him? He glanced over at the boy, whose ivory skin lit up in the moonlight. He was alluring, he could certainly give him that. Alluring, and rather...adorable. In the way that he spoke and the way that he looked, even. But...no. As sweet as the boy seemed, there was no way that Okita could bring himself to trust him, so suddenly. He shook his head, at the young man before him.

"It's not polite to pry, Soujiro-san."

The boy seemed taken aback for a bit, then he gathered his senses and quickly bowed a couple of times. "Gomen nasai, Okita-sama, I didn't mean to be nosy. Gomen nasai. Gomen..."

The older man sighed, feeling another tinge of annoyance course through his mind. "It's alright. Now go to sleep. Kyoto's a few days of travel ahead of us."

"Hai, Okita-sama." The boy said, almost matter-of-factly, and promptly turned back around and proceeded to sleep. Okita found himself intrigued even more by this young man as he did so, and even more annoyed. Falling to the ground, he began to regret ever taking the boy into his home.