DISCLAIMER: I don't own Naruto. Perhaps this is a good thing. Or the warpage would be ins4ne. Ins4ne like a bungee jumper.

Would ya look at that? MORE REVIEWS. This is just chicken soup for the soul, yo.

Pandammonia: Wootagio! You make me feel loved. -gives you brownies- Brownies are so good I wanna poop.

gothangel123-cries tears of happiness-

Phishy Chan: Yes. Angsty Ed is so angsty. He's like. . . .HORRIFIED ED FACE! Dun dun dun. I'm glad you like my ficcy-

Aki: Thanks for reading again! As for the female gypsy at the gay bar, it is what I call PLOTHOLE-GONE-UNNOTICED-UNTIL-AFTER-CHAPTER-IS-UPLOADED! We can pretend the gypsy was like a man really dressed up as a woman who was originally a man disguising himself temporarily as a woman only to find out he was really just a gay man who wanted to become a woman! So he's a woman now! It's called a sex-change operation. There. Wasn't that so NOT confusing? NOW YOU KNOW-like bill nye-

firefly: Yes yes yes. Your assumptions on the characters are correct. The innocent one, the crackhead one, and the annoying one everybody wants to blow up because she's Kinny-kin-kin in a pan. I'm so mad about Dosu's death too! He was so foolish for attacking that Gaara. But his foolishness is what makes him so DEAD SEXY! Love the foolish. Love it gooood.

KaibasShadowGirl: Don't think I'm picking at you! No no no! I loveth you. And your awesome fic. Yes! Yoroi IS yaoi! He wants to fark everyone in the world. You should see the roleplay this comes from. Yoroi and Misumi are in it a lot and they're in love with Edward Elric and they want to fark him and he's like NOOOO FADSFSDFAS. I changed it to Dosu in this fic cuz Ed ain't in it and cuz Dosu is just so farkable it hurts. Let's all corner Dosu now and fark him, children!

Temari: Temari you don't deserve long responses cuz I talk to you anyway. But yay. Mr. Kuwait wants your body.

Alucard Crimson: OH YOU PRECIOUS LITTLE PUMPERNICKEL YOU! Of course I'd love to put you in the fic. I'd like to talk to you first on messenger though so I can know a lil bit more aboutchas. I'm mostly on Yahoo! messenger, my name being xxxchibisasukexxx . My AIM name is UndeadPiggy and my msn is My website has a link on my profile, but if you can't handle my profile's sex appeal then I'll have to link you. AND YET! IS MEAN TO ME AND DOESN'T LET ME JUST TYPE A NORMAL LINK! So I'll have to type it out all freak-like. double-yoo double-yoo double-yoo dot geocities dot com slash x x x chibisasuke x x x without the spaces between the x's.

LOOK AT ME! Wasting half my life on responding to reviewers. I could be writing right now. But I love reviewers so much! Okay okay okay I'll start now, still with no knowledge of what lies ahead. Spur of da moment.

Also, for those who have forgotten, The Kitty is the big fluffy thing on Dosu's back.

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This was a steep very scary hill DZK was climbing, and they were getting kind of tired.

"Shiver me timbers! It's already nighttime!" Kin pointed out flabberghastedly.

"I'm so hungry I could eat Dosu. . . . ." Zaku pouted, glancing menacingly at the chunk of salted beef that is Dosu.

"I'M so hungry I could eat Dosu, and dip him in barbecue sauce! " Kin squealed.

"I'M so hungry I could eat Dosu, dip him in barbecue sauce, and spread a thin layer of guacamole on top, sprinkling some chopped red pepper over him for a tangy southwestern feel! " Zaku retorted, starting to drool a bit.

". . . . . . . . . . . . . ." Dosu didn't feel safe anymore. He shouldn't feel safe anyway though! Even if they WEREN'T gonna eat him! Because I'm gonna rape him tonight even though I'm a girl and am anatomically incapable of that! NOW try feeling safe, Dosu-kun! WAHAHAHA.

"Oh wait I have some carrots," Kin remembered, as she pulled some slimey orange carrots out of her shuriken holster. They were the miniature kind. "Silly me for forgetting them!" she squealed.

"You keep carrots in there?" asked Dosu, skeptically cuz he's such a skeptic. Like that kid at my school I call Random Skeptic! But Dosu isn't random, oh no he's not.

"Of course I keep carrots in there! And tater tots too," Kin squealed as she danced like Napoleon Dynamite.

"That's kind of gross. . . . ." Dosu mumbled before he was interrupted by an "OH EM EFF GEE! CAN I HAVE A CARROT?" emitted from Zaku.

"NO! YOU CAN'T HAVE ONE! " Kin hissed, as she hugged the carrots close to her. "THESE WERE SELF-GROWN, INSIDE MY OWN BODY! "

Dosu didn't even want to ASK. Zaku did. But Dosu is like a positive integer so he cancels out Zaku. Meaning nobody asked.

"We'd better hit the hay. . . .it's getting late," said Dosu, looking up at the full moon. His Inner Dosu was like "SHANNARO! A FULL MOON! YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!"

"HIT THE HAY?" Zaku gasped, and he slapped The Kitty cuz it looked like a haystack.

"Sleep. We're going to sleep." And with that, Dosu spun around like a Sim and he was in his banana-printed pajamas. But he still had The Kitty of course because The Kitty rules his life. And he's still bandaged cuz he's so self-conscious about his newfound boobies. . . . or something.

"Why do you have bananas on your pajamas, Dosu?" Kin squealed, blinking.

"YOU BOUGHT THEM CUZ BANANA RHYMES WITH PAJAMAS HUH!" said Zaku. He knew that HAD to be the reason. Because it rhymed.

"I just like bananas. They're my favorite food." he said monotonously as he prepared the big cowprint tent for them to sleep in.

"I have some in my shuriken holster. . . ." squealed Kin.

"No thanks. I'm not hungry. . . ." he repled, so that he wouldn't have to eat that ICKY SLIMEBALL of a so-called banana Kin was hording in her holster.

Zaku spun around like a Sim too and was instantly dressed in his kawaii baby blue bunny-printed footsie pajamas. And all the Zaku fangirls like me went AWWWWW.

Kin was stupid so she just wore a boring oversized t-shirt. Stupid Kin.

The tent was finally ready and everyone hopped inside yawning and ready for visions of sugarplums to dance in their heads.

Dosu was so tired he immediately fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. So it was kinda like HAHAHAHAHAHAsnore.

Kin wrote in her very girly diary, using a pink pencil with a Sasuke eraser head. "Looky Zaku! My pencil has a Sasuke-kun eraser head!"

Zaku started having convulsive seizures on the floor, cuz Sasuke scares him out of his mind for obvious reasons.

Kin just smiled sweetly at the twitching epileptic Zaku on the floor and continued her writing.

"Dear Diary. . . . .

It's been a long day. My team and I are looking for a caramel apple for Kimimaro-san now! I get the feeling this is going to be one great adventure. I love Dosu and Zaku, they're so nice to me and I want to have their disgustingly ugly children!

Well, I'd better get to bed now. I'm sure we have another long day ahead of us tomorrow, so I should get some sleep! I really want to use The Kitty as a pillow, but Dosu will probably gnaw on my leg if I do that, so I won't.

Nighty-night-Kin-chan "

And with that, Kin laid her darling little head on her darling little pillow, and fell into a darling little slumber. And everyone wished she would never wake up. -

Meanwhile, a certain The Kitty was restless. It wiggled a bit, and shook, making a noise like a pompom. The poor The Kitty absolutely could NOT sleep! Then it realized something. . . . . .tonight was a full moon.

And full moons meant hunting time for The Kitty.

It slid silently off of Dosu's back and slithered out of the tent into the cold night air.

. . . . . . . . . . .it was time to catch some prey.

The Kitty scurried all the way back to the Sound base. In his opinion, a sick bedfallen Kimimaro would be easy prey, as opposed to a skittish, flighty Kabuto with a keen sense of smell, so off to Kimimaro's emergency care room he went.

Dosu probably had no idea The Kitty had gone, he was still fast asleep, obviously dreaming about Zaku farking him and whatnot. Cough.

Kimimaro was also asleep. But then again, he's almost always asleep. That lazy hobo. One of these days Orochimaru-sama is going to have to spank him. . . .no, let's not go there.

The Kitty crept over to Kimimaro's bedside, leaning its drooling "head" over him in sheer gluttonyfulness. It's okay for me to make up my own silly words for gluttony cuz it's a cool word and an obese homunculus, all at the same time.

The Kitty leaned closer and closer, about to chomp off Kimimaro's sleeping head, when suddenly, he started SNORING WILDLY! Kimimaro I mean. Not The Kitty. The Kitty wouldn't just stop preying on Kimimaro and suddenly snore like a rabid beast. Or maybe it would. BUT MY DAMN POINT IS THAT KIMIMARO IS SNORING NOW.

With all this ferocious snoring, The Kitty's super-strong sense of hearing was giving him a lot of pain.

The Kitty would go "GUAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" like most people, but The Kitty doesn't have a mouth so he can't go "GUAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

. . . .how does he eat? Baleen.

A frustrated The Kitty dove angrily at Kimimaro's head, only to miss thanks to Kimimaro's rolling in his sleep.

Inner The Kitty was like "DAMMIT! HE'S TOO FAST FOR ME! SHANNAROOOO! "

The Kitty continued a savage attack on Kimimaro, about to pierce through his body like a spear. But Kimimaro was having a really bad dream or a really wet dream or something, because he was convulsing back and forth across the bed like the girl on The Exorcist, and The Kitty missed each time.

The Kitty let out a string of fluffy cuss words somehow, causing Tayuya down the hall to scream YAAAAAY in her sleep like the navel she is, and gave up. He couldn't catch Kimimaro. His seizures or whatever were too speedy for our poor little The Kitty.

Extremely frustrated, The Kitty looked up at the clock on the wall. It was already seven thirty in the morning, and Dosu would be waking up soon! Did he spend ALL DAY trying to eat this possessed Kimimaro!

This wasn't good. He had to be back in time or Dosu would actually live of his own choices! NO! THE KITTY MUST RULE DOSU'S LIFE, ALL FOURTEEN YEARS OF IT!

The Kitty's pwnage over Dosu was good. The Kitty's pwnage over Dosu was great. The Kitty's pwnage over Dosu was. . . .stuck.

No I'm serious! Kimimaro, still asleep, had grabbed onto The Kitty that was just starting to leave!

The Kitty SQUIRMED and STRUGGLED. "DAMN YOU IMPUDENT MORTAL!" screeched Inner The Kitty. He NEEDED to get back to the tent!

"Do I make you horny baby?" Kimimaro mumbled to The Kitty, still not awake.

This was too much for The Kitty. He didn't want his victim to want his sexy little bod of fur. So with all his might he burst out of the room, leaving a chunk of himself in Kimimaro's hand.

And that made Kimimaro very happy. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .but he still wants a caramel apple.

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Dosu: Sorry this chapter took so long. . . .the author was busy, as usual.

Zaku: DUKE NUKEM-shoots pedestrians-

Kin: If we missed any reviews from this chapter, we'll respond to you in the next one, don't despair!

Dosu: Yeah. Cuz we love you. Don't abandon us now, you sick bastards.

Zaku: AHAHAHAHA! SHI! SHI! SHI-shoots elderly babies-

Kin: Hope ya liked it! Please review again, and keep reading! Buh-bye!