Robert felt a wet, tickly sensation against his toes and woke up laughing.
Gretel was at the end of the bed, licking his left foot and Ella was
standing next to her giggling softly. "Come here, you!" Robert whispered,
and Ella clambered up onto the bed and inched her way up so that she could
give Robert a good morning kiss on the nose. As Gretel looked like she was
thinking about doing the same, Robert gave her a serious look and scolded,
"Now you know you're not allowed up here anymore. Elizabeth gets jealous
when I let you kiss me. Oh, okay, just a quick one," and at his smile,
Gretel ran up to the side of the bed, put her two paws up onto the pillow
and gave both Robert and Ella big wet kisses on the nose, mouth and ears.
"Ewww!" giggled Ella, as Robert slid out of bed, and she followed him to
the bathroom, where they washed off the doggy slobber before padding their
way downstairs to breakfast, leaving Elizabeth to sleep in.
Later that morning, Elizabeth rolled over to look at the clock, saw the late hour and rolled back to look for Robert. At the same moment, she heard peals of laughter ringing up from the garden, as Ella ran to show Robert some new discovery with Gretel barking and leaping excitedly at her heels. Elizabeth shook her head and smiled and then was surprised to find herself choking up. She thought she had gotten used to how happy Ella and Robert were with each other, but every so often her amazing good fortune still stunned her. After all, how many times had she overlooked this man? Granted, he was a head shorter than her and easy to overlook, well if it weren't for his booming voice and powerful presence that seemed to say "notice me" in any situation he was in. Most of the people they worked with still considered him impossible, and Elizabeth had to admit that the changes in his life over the last year still hadn't changed his Napoleonic leadership style at work. Still, if they could see him with Ella, playing with puppets or singing songs.... All of the sudden she gasped and moved a hand down to her abdomen. It couldn't possibly be, not yet, it was much too early for her to feel something, but.... She shook her head again. She was probably just hungry. So she put on a robe and went downstairs.
Before going out to the patio, she opened the door to the fridge. She smiled again. Robert was so surprisingly domestic. She found waiting for her a tray with freshly made fruit salad, fresh squeezed juice, and a bowl of yogurt with granola on the side. She pulled it out and set it on the counter and then grabbed a mug from the rack before reaching for the coffeepot. Next to it, she saw an unaccustomed canister. Robert had made her decaf.
When she made it outside, and set the tray down on the table, she saw that Ella was busy digging around in her sandbox under the willow tree and Robert was snoozing with the newspaper across his legs. As usual, he had brought out a big tube of extra-strong sunscreen, which he had slathered on Ella , but he had of course forgotten to put some on himself. Although she didn't want to wake him from his nap, she couldn't resist squeezing some of the cool lotion onto the top of his head. "Hey!" he objected, but in a voice that told her that he hadn't ever really been asleep. She laughed and reached back up to massage the lotion into his skin. He closed his eyes obediently as she slowly rubbed ever-widening circles. When she got to his ears, he was so relaxed he was almost asleep for real this time, but suddenly Ella and Gretel came bounding over with some treasure to show.
Robert and Elizabeth oohed and ahhhed over a blue rubber ball with a yellow monkey painted on it, and when Ella and Gretel ran off to play with it, Elizabeth quirked her eyebrows. Robert grinned proudly, "I do believe that I have found a way to keep both of our girls busy. Ever since we got the sand box, I can give Gretel things to bury, and then Ella can take her little shovel and dig them up." "Are you recycling doggie toys on my daughter?" Elizabeth demanded indignantly, but when she saw Robert looking guilty she laughed, "She seems happy, though, doesn't she?" And they both looked at Ella tumbling around with Gretel, who treated the toddler like the puppy she never had.
"I want you to be happy, too," Robert began seriously. Elizabeth's smile started to fade as he continued, "I'll do whatever you want," he promised, taking her hand and bringing it to his lips. "I just want you to think about what it is that you do want. I just need you to be sure." "Oh Robert," Elizabeth sighed, looking over at Ella. "I....I...." but before she could finish, she heard voices calling her name and Ella's and then saw her friend Louise appear around the side of the house with her daughter Lexie in tow.
***
Later that afternoon, Robert was in his study, reading reports and analyzing some new lab results on a patient, when Ella bolted through the door and behind the desk, almost falling over Gretel who was sleeping at his feet before jumping into his lap. Her little body was shaky with emotion as she looked up at him, her huge eyes brimming with tears. "What is it my sweetheart?" he asked her softly, stroking her pink cheek and nose with his thumb. She shook her head and kept her mouth tightly shut, but as it opened in a little hiccup, she buried her face against his shoulder and clamped her arms around his neck. He just decided to let her cry for a minute, rubbing her back until the crescendo of hiccups died down to slow, rhythmic breaths. She drew her head away and looked at him with an expression, so open and trusting, that reminded him so much of Elizabeth he thought he might cry too. She leaned in a little so that he could give her a kiss and then she laid her head back down against his chest, letting him continue to console her with murmured words. "There's no reason in the world for you to be unhappy, my darling. Mommy loves you. Gretel loves you. And you know that I love you." At this last, Ella wrapped her arms around his neck once again, tightening her grip. "Now, Ella, my buttercup," he murmured into her silky hair, but just then Elizabeth walked into the room.
She came to the desk and sat down on it, leaning toward them to whisper, "Now Ella, Lexie and Louise and I are having a snack in the kitchen. Won't you come and join us?" Ella just held tight to Robert and shook her head without looking up. Robert looked at Elizabeth quizzically, but she shrugged to show that she didn't understand it either. "Well then, maybe I'll leave some cookies on a plate for you and Robert, and you can come out a little later, okay?" Elizabeth compromised. Ella didn't move, but Elizabeth bent forward and kissed her head. She should probably insist that Ella be a better hostess, but she was more confused than angry. Ella was usually playful and cooperative with other children despite the few opportunities she had to be with them, so Elizabeth decided that she must just be in a sensitive mood. After all, she could probably sense that there was something going on with her and Robert. Even self-involved Louise had noticed. She gave up, got up and with a kiss to Robert's head she left them.
Ella heard her go and finally let go of Robert's collar and moved into the crook of his arm where she could lean back and look up at him. She looked calmer now, so he thought he might try to start figuring out the reason for this sudden storm. "What about a little smile for me, my sunshine?" he requested, and she smiled through the last of her tears, and then as if that weren't enough, she reached up and gave him a squeeze around the shoulders and then a big kiss on the forehead before settling back against his right arm. Robert grinned. Ella grinned. He leaned down and blew against her neck and ear til she giggled like her sunny little self again. Then more seriously, Robert whispered, "So, my sweetheart, what happened there?" She looked down at her feet and remained silent. "Ella?" he pushed gently. But then changing his mind, he sighed, "I just want you to be happy always." He hugged her to him, wishing as he often did, that he had another arm so that he could really hold her, so that somehow he might make her feel entirely safe. He smiled to himself. He used to wish he had that other hand for surgery, now he missed it when he needed to tie Ella's shoes or to give her a bath.
"Wobuht," she whispered. "Yes, my love," he encouraged. She moved away though to sit on his knees with her back against the edge of his desk. She reached out her little inquisitve fingers towards his left shoulder, grabbing his empty sleeve. She held it up and looked him in the eye. "Why?" she asked.
***
Later that afternoon when the guests had left and Elizabeth was putting Ella down for a nap, Robert was pacing the living room. When she came back downstairs she waited for him to finish his loop and face her before going to him and putting her arms around him. "Kids," she sighed. "Yeah," he said softly and a bit gruffly, shaking his head, knowing that for as long as he were a part of Ella's life, there would be the same questions, the same teasing about his arm. He didn't mind it for himself, but he hated for Ella to suffer any sort of cruelty, especially because of him. He wondered what she'd told Elizabeth. He had only been able to piece together that Lexie had taunted her in the sandbox. Well, at least the other child's fear of him had not infected Ella, who seemed only intent on making sure that he was alright and that his arm didn't hurt. He smiled then. She was a sweetheart, really. Like her mother.
Elizabeth looked up and seeing the cloudy expression on his face, dragged him over to the couch, where she pulled him against her. They stretched out then, her feet rubbing his, his head nestled between her breasts. "Comfortable?" she laughed. "Oh sorry," he realized, but she pulled him back down. "You're fine there, honestly."
"So," she continued, "I hope I didn't overstep my bounds or anything just now." "What?" he turned to look up at her. "You know," she continued, "I don't think Ella's conscious of having lost Mark, but she does know that there was a time before you were part of her life. It's only natural that she's afraid of losing you." "What!" he blurted and sat up straight. Elizabeth looked at him strangely but then smiled and stroked his cheek, "I thought she had told you," Elizabeth answered. "Lexie told her that people needed both of their arms to live. She, um, she" Elizabeth eyes were filling up with tears and her expression reminded Robert of Ella's just a few hours earlier. "She told Ella that you were going to leave. That you were going to die. I mean," she continued hurriedly, "she's just four years old, Lexie, she didn't mean to scare Ella, and it took me an hour with Ella and a phone call to Louise to figure this out, but I think everything's okay now, I mean...." Robert arms were around Elizabeth, and he was rocking her as she mumbled, "I mean, I promised her that you'd never, of course you'll never leave us, never leave Ella, of course we could never do that to her."
Later that morning, Elizabeth rolled over to look at the clock, saw the late hour and rolled back to look for Robert. At the same moment, she heard peals of laughter ringing up from the garden, as Ella ran to show Robert some new discovery with Gretel barking and leaping excitedly at her heels. Elizabeth shook her head and smiled and then was surprised to find herself choking up. She thought she had gotten used to how happy Ella and Robert were with each other, but every so often her amazing good fortune still stunned her. After all, how many times had she overlooked this man? Granted, he was a head shorter than her and easy to overlook, well if it weren't for his booming voice and powerful presence that seemed to say "notice me" in any situation he was in. Most of the people they worked with still considered him impossible, and Elizabeth had to admit that the changes in his life over the last year still hadn't changed his Napoleonic leadership style at work. Still, if they could see him with Ella, playing with puppets or singing songs.... All of the sudden she gasped and moved a hand down to her abdomen. It couldn't possibly be, not yet, it was much too early for her to feel something, but.... She shook her head again. She was probably just hungry. So she put on a robe and went downstairs.
Before going out to the patio, she opened the door to the fridge. She smiled again. Robert was so surprisingly domestic. She found waiting for her a tray with freshly made fruit salad, fresh squeezed juice, and a bowl of yogurt with granola on the side. She pulled it out and set it on the counter and then grabbed a mug from the rack before reaching for the coffeepot. Next to it, she saw an unaccustomed canister. Robert had made her decaf.
When she made it outside, and set the tray down on the table, she saw that Ella was busy digging around in her sandbox under the willow tree and Robert was snoozing with the newspaper across his legs. As usual, he had brought out a big tube of extra-strong sunscreen, which he had slathered on Ella , but he had of course forgotten to put some on himself. Although she didn't want to wake him from his nap, she couldn't resist squeezing some of the cool lotion onto the top of his head. "Hey!" he objected, but in a voice that told her that he hadn't ever really been asleep. She laughed and reached back up to massage the lotion into his skin. He closed his eyes obediently as she slowly rubbed ever-widening circles. When she got to his ears, he was so relaxed he was almost asleep for real this time, but suddenly Ella and Gretel came bounding over with some treasure to show.
Robert and Elizabeth oohed and ahhhed over a blue rubber ball with a yellow monkey painted on it, and when Ella and Gretel ran off to play with it, Elizabeth quirked her eyebrows. Robert grinned proudly, "I do believe that I have found a way to keep both of our girls busy. Ever since we got the sand box, I can give Gretel things to bury, and then Ella can take her little shovel and dig them up." "Are you recycling doggie toys on my daughter?" Elizabeth demanded indignantly, but when she saw Robert looking guilty she laughed, "She seems happy, though, doesn't she?" And they both looked at Ella tumbling around with Gretel, who treated the toddler like the puppy she never had.
"I want you to be happy, too," Robert began seriously. Elizabeth's smile started to fade as he continued, "I'll do whatever you want," he promised, taking her hand and bringing it to his lips. "I just want you to think about what it is that you do want. I just need you to be sure." "Oh Robert," Elizabeth sighed, looking over at Ella. "I....I...." but before she could finish, she heard voices calling her name and Ella's and then saw her friend Louise appear around the side of the house with her daughter Lexie in tow.
***
Later that afternoon, Robert was in his study, reading reports and analyzing some new lab results on a patient, when Ella bolted through the door and behind the desk, almost falling over Gretel who was sleeping at his feet before jumping into his lap. Her little body was shaky with emotion as she looked up at him, her huge eyes brimming with tears. "What is it my sweetheart?" he asked her softly, stroking her pink cheek and nose with his thumb. She shook her head and kept her mouth tightly shut, but as it opened in a little hiccup, she buried her face against his shoulder and clamped her arms around his neck. He just decided to let her cry for a minute, rubbing her back until the crescendo of hiccups died down to slow, rhythmic breaths. She drew her head away and looked at him with an expression, so open and trusting, that reminded him so much of Elizabeth he thought he might cry too. She leaned in a little so that he could give her a kiss and then she laid her head back down against his chest, letting him continue to console her with murmured words. "There's no reason in the world for you to be unhappy, my darling. Mommy loves you. Gretel loves you. And you know that I love you." At this last, Ella wrapped her arms around his neck once again, tightening her grip. "Now, Ella, my buttercup," he murmured into her silky hair, but just then Elizabeth walked into the room.
She came to the desk and sat down on it, leaning toward them to whisper, "Now Ella, Lexie and Louise and I are having a snack in the kitchen. Won't you come and join us?" Ella just held tight to Robert and shook her head without looking up. Robert looked at Elizabeth quizzically, but she shrugged to show that she didn't understand it either. "Well then, maybe I'll leave some cookies on a plate for you and Robert, and you can come out a little later, okay?" Elizabeth compromised. Ella didn't move, but Elizabeth bent forward and kissed her head. She should probably insist that Ella be a better hostess, but she was more confused than angry. Ella was usually playful and cooperative with other children despite the few opportunities she had to be with them, so Elizabeth decided that she must just be in a sensitive mood. After all, she could probably sense that there was something going on with her and Robert. Even self-involved Louise had noticed. She gave up, got up and with a kiss to Robert's head she left them.
Ella heard her go and finally let go of Robert's collar and moved into the crook of his arm where she could lean back and look up at him. She looked calmer now, so he thought he might try to start figuring out the reason for this sudden storm. "What about a little smile for me, my sunshine?" he requested, and she smiled through the last of her tears, and then as if that weren't enough, she reached up and gave him a squeeze around the shoulders and then a big kiss on the forehead before settling back against his right arm. Robert grinned. Ella grinned. He leaned down and blew against her neck and ear til she giggled like her sunny little self again. Then more seriously, Robert whispered, "So, my sweetheart, what happened there?" She looked down at her feet and remained silent. "Ella?" he pushed gently. But then changing his mind, he sighed, "I just want you to be happy always." He hugged her to him, wishing as he often did, that he had another arm so that he could really hold her, so that somehow he might make her feel entirely safe. He smiled to himself. He used to wish he had that other hand for surgery, now he missed it when he needed to tie Ella's shoes or to give her a bath.
"Wobuht," she whispered. "Yes, my love," he encouraged. She moved away though to sit on his knees with her back against the edge of his desk. She reached out her little inquisitve fingers towards his left shoulder, grabbing his empty sleeve. She held it up and looked him in the eye. "Why?" she asked.
***
Later that afternoon when the guests had left and Elizabeth was putting Ella down for a nap, Robert was pacing the living room. When she came back downstairs she waited for him to finish his loop and face her before going to him and putting her arms around him. "Kids," she sighed. "Yeah," he said softly and a bit gruffly, shaking his head, knowing that for as long as he were a part of Ella's life, there would be the same questions, the same teasing about his arm. He didn't mind it for himself, but he hated for Ella to suffer any sort of cruelty, especially because of him. He wondered what she'd told Elizabeth. He had only been able to piece together that Lexie had taunted her in the sandbox. Well, at least the other child's fear of him had not infected Ella, who seemed only intent on making sure that he was alright and that his arm didn't hurt. He smiled then. She was a sweetheart, really. Like her mother.
Elizabeth looked up and seeing the cloudy expression on his face, dragged him over to the couch, where she pulled him against her. They stretched out then, her feet rubbing his, his head nestled between her breasts. "Comfortable?" she laughed. "Oh sorry," he realized, but she pulled him back down. "You're fine there, honestly."
"So," she continued, "I hope I didn't overstep my bounds or anything just now." "What?" he turned to look up at her. "You know," she continued, "I don't think Ella's conscious of having lost Mark, but she does know that there was a time before you were part of her life. It's only natural that she's afraid of losing you." "What!" he blurted and sat up straight. Elizabeth looked at him strangely but then smiled and stroked his cheek, "I thought she had told you," Elizabeth answered. "Lexie told her that people needed both of their arms to live. She, um, she" Elizabeth eyes were filling up with tears and her expression reminded Robert of Ella's just a few hours earlier. "She told Ella that you were going to leave. That you were going to die. I mean," she continued hurriedly, "she's just four years old, Lexie, she didn't mean to scare Ella, and it took me an hour with Ella and a phone call to Louise to figure this out, but I think everything's okay now, I mean...." Robert arms were around Elizabeth, and he was rocking her as she mumbled, "I mean, I promised her that you'd never, of course you'll never leave us, never leave Ella, of course we could never do that to her."