Chapter 4: Longing
As Gordo walked into his house after the long time of shopping, he noticed that he was home alone. Now obviously he was past the point where this would scare him, but it seemed to be happening a lot lately. He never seemed to see his parents much anymore, but then again he did spend most of his waking hours with Lizzie and Miranda. Gordo climbed the stairs to his room and walked in. He pushed some dirty clothes off his bed and laid down. While he had no intention of going to sleep anytime soon, he knew he needed to lay there and think.
GT: I can't believe I just spent the whole evening shopping. I realize that my best friends are girls but still. If it hadn't been Miranda's last night here before leaving for Mexico I would have gone off with my guy friends. Ok, so that's not entirely true. I have to admit that I went only because it was another chance to be with Lizzie. God, she's like an addiction. I know that the more I spend time with her the more I long for her. And I know that the more I long for her the more depressed I get. But yet I still jump at every opportunity I get to spend time with her. And, oh, this break is probably going to kill me. I'll spend most of my waking moments with her and without Miranda there. We'll have enough of those together to make me completely nuts. And then Miranda will come home and we'll go to back school, nothing having changed except for my further fall into complete longing for Elizabeth Brooke McGuire.
And with that Gordo got up and turned on his radio. He knew all that thinking was making his head hurt, he knew he needed an escape in the form of his precious music. Maybe it would spark something for his latest movie script. The song that came out of his stereo made him stop and listen. It was eerie how the radio always seemed to play a song with lyrics almost identical to how he was feeling. Tonight it was Have You Ever by Brandy.
Have you ever loved somebody so much it makes you cry?
Have you ever needed something so bad you can't sleep at night?
Have you ever tried to find the words, but they don't come out right?
Have you ever, have you ever
Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You'd do anything to make them understand?
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away?
You'd give anything up to make them feel the same
Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart
But you don't know what to say
And you don't know where to start
Have you ever loved somebody so much it makes you cry?
Have you ever needed something so bad you can't sleep at night?
Have you ever tried to find the words, but they don't come out right?
Have you ever, have you ever
Have you ever found the one you've dreamed of all your life?
You'd do just about anything to look into their eyes
Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to
Only to find that one won't give their heart to you
Have you ever closed your eyes and dreamed that they were there
And all you can to is wait
For the day when they will care
Have you ever loved somebody so much it makes you cry?
Have you ever needed something so bad you can't sleep at night?
Have you ever tried to find the words, but they don't come out right?
Have you ever, have you ever
What do I gotta do to get you in my arms, baby?
What do I gotta say to get to your heart?
To make you understand
How I need you next to me
Gotta get you in my world
Cause baby I can't sleep
Have you ever loved somebody so much it makes you cry?
Have you ever needed something so bad you can't sleep at night?
Have you ever tried to find the words, but they don't come out right?
Have you ever, have you ever
Have you ever loved somebody so much it makes you cry?
Have you ever needed something so bad you can't sleep at night?
Have you ever tried to find the words, but they don't come out right?
Have you ever, have you ever
Have you ever
As Gordo sat there listening he began to cry.
GT: That's exactly how I feel. Only I know that I'll never stop loving her and that she'll never start loving me that way. I know that I should just leave her behind to at least try to get over her, but she depends on me. I promised her that I would always have her back. I can't just go back on my promise. I'm too nice of a guy to do that. That's the other thing, you'd think with all the jerks out there, and believe Lizzie knows about them very well, that maybe she'd realize that I'm a great guy. A guy who has always been there for her, a guy who has never intentionally hurt her and a guy who loves her for who she is and always will. Well, whatever, I give up. I don't know what to do. I guess I should just go to sleep and worry about it tomorrow.
And with that, he laid back down on his bed and tried to go to sleep. But as much as he tried, he just couldn't sleep and when he did all he dreamed about was loving and losing Elizabeth Brooke McGuire.