When Hercules awoke in the morning, Iolaus was gone. The fire was still glowing; Hercules figured his friend had stoked the embers before setting off, in which case, he had left about an hour before. Hercules rubbed a hand over his eyes and wearily got to his feet. 'Well, that's Iolaus for you,' Hercules thought sadly. 'He figures it's easier for me if I don't have to say goodbye. Idiot.'

"What's the matter, dear brother?" came a mocking voice from behind him. "You look like you've lost your best friend."

"Ares. Great. Now my day is complete," Hercules answered in the same sarcastic vein. "As always, my question to you is: what do you want and what does it have to do with me?"

"Well, those are two questions, actually, but since they have the same answer, I'll let it slide. As always, what I want is you—miserable, if not suffering or flat-out dead. Looks like I won't even have to blow out the candles on my cake this year."

Hercules rolled his eyes. "Love to chat. Love to, but can't. I've got a life to get on with. Go enjoy yours... elsewhere."

"No can do. I'm on a mission, and since you're kinda down on your luck, I thought I'd give you a heads-up. Game's no fun if you don't play your very best."

"Ares, either you've got the mental capacity of a pea, or you think I do. Give me a reason to play your game."

"How about... because you've got no choice. It's either you... or Xena."

Hercules laughed. "That's not going to work, and you know it. Xena is a big girl. She can handle anything you can even imagine throwing at her."

Ares' grin widened. "Really? Then she'd be interested to know that approximately three days from now, that little girl she scampers around with will swear herself into my service."

Hercules snorted. "Let me get this straight. Gabrielle, the gentlest, most generous person I know, is going to give herself to the god of war."

"You got it."

"No, you've got something else—a screw loose."

"Whatever you say, o champion of the people. In a few days, Gabrielle will be mine, unless, of course, I get a better offer from someone more... valuable."

"I don't do deals with you, Ares, and certainly not blind ones."

"I hoped you'd say that," Ares said cheerfully, crossing his arms in front of him. "Come and see." Before Hercules could move, the war god had raised his arms, and suddenly, the world was a spinning cloud of light that made Hercules glad he'd skipped breakfast. When gravity reasserted itself, his surroundings were different; he was trapped in something that felt like a pocket of air. He could stretch and move, but something firm and pliant was keeping him from covering any distance. "Relax," Ares grumbled in a bored voice. "This is just to keep you from walking out of my show. I don't want you interfering until... until I want you interfering."

"All right, let's get this over with," Hercules relented, his voice clearly showing his disinterest.

"As you wish," Ares answered with an evil grin, opening a window to another countryside. Hercules could see Xena and Gabrielle talking... well, arguing was more like it. He strained his ears, but he couldn't quite catch their words.

"I can't hear anything," he pointed out. "What's the matter, Ares? A little rusty, are you?"

"Hmm," Ares muttered to himself. "Must have left the controls in my other pair of leather pants. Oh, well. Lucky for you, I'm a god." A wave of his hand started a growth of sound that halted when the two women's voices were quite audible.

"Oh yeah, lucky me," Hercules groused under his breath. "My guess is, you were born during Fortune's Fury-worshipping phase." He started focusing on Gabrielle's voice, which had risen in volume without Ares' help.

"Xena, it just isn't any use. That was the fourth assassin this week. And you know they'll just keep coming until one of them gets lucky."

"Then it's our job to make sure their luck doesn't improve," Xena said firmly. "I've beaten Ares before and I'll do it again."

"You're sure it's Ares," Gabrielle wondered.

"Oh yeah," Xena nodded, smiling tightly. "They're good fighters, almost as good as I am, I have to admit, and each one's better than the last. Add to this their total lack of organization, and the only answer is a bunch of rabble hopped up on Ares-juice."

"Euugh," Gabrielle groaned, making a face. "Leave the metaphors to me, please."

Ares smiled fondly. "Such a spunky little thing, isn't she?" Hercules sighed in exasperation, focusing harder on the bard's voice.

"Xena, you know this is it. Stop being so stubborn. You know, and I know, when a god pulls out all the stops in an effort to add your head—on a pike—to his temple's décor, you've got to at least pretend to give him what he wants."

"Gabrielle, I don't know what he wants, and I don't care. He knows me well enough to realize that if I play nice with him, I've got at least a couple of tricks up my sleeve. He won't believe me."

"She's right, you know," Ares said philosophically. "Isn't it nice when you can talk to someone without words?"

"Ares," Hercules growled through gritted teeth, "I would appreciate it if you'd cut the running commentary. I'm a little more interested in what they have to say."

"Ah, yes, the pretty girls can always make you sit up and take notice. I suppose I should save my breath."

"That one has my vote," Hercules muttered. He turned his attention back to the window, but the conversation didn't seem to have progressed very far. Xena and Gabrielle were still arguing about their next move. The argument seemed to end when Gabrielle gave in and was silent. Hercules was instantly suspicious, and he could tell from Xena's face that she wasn't convinced, either. Gabrielle never gave up on anything, especially something she really wanted.

"You see it, don't you?" Ares asked delightedly. "She'll sneak away and come find me, to call a truce, to take my focus off Xena. In three days she'll be mine." Hercules began to struggle against his prison, and Ares sighed. "Yeah, yeah, you're free to go," and instantly Hercules reappeared in the familiar camp by the river. "Try to warn her. If you can save her before she takes her vow of loyalty, I'll take you in her place and leave Xena alone forever. If you fail... you're both mine, and Xena will eventually fall to my assassins. She'll kill many of them, but there's no shortage of men willing to kill, or to die, for wealth and glory. And if you don't come at all, well, let's just say that right now, I have more need of a plaything than a servant."

Hercules' voice was like thunder. "You won't take any of us without a fight, Ares."

Ares winked. "Counting on it," he called out as he vanished in a blaze of light.