"Mind Fields"
Chapter Four:"The Illumination Hotel"
When Squall managed to start to feel, what he felt was a rush of blood to his heart; which made it ache. He felt the pain in his heart, but didn't know how to explain it, or put it into context.
"I know what you are thinking, dear,
'Should I open up my eyes;
When everything that I have feared
Stands right by my side'?" came Love's voice.
Fear sighed, and took over her words.
"I am by your side, for one purpose;
To teach you of the pains and curses,
But I did not make such a good pain teacher,
However, now I leave my place to the preacher..."
Squall felt a bed underneath him, and felt the silk covers under and over him. He felt three pairs of hands touching him, observing his skin for wounds. He knew he didn't have a skin. His skin was lifted up a long time ago.
He started to open up his eyes, but then, two hands clutched over them, and blocked his vision again. Squall couldn't make a sound. He could only patiently wait for that familiar, yet alienated voice to fade in.
But, Love stood silent. Squall heard a voice he didn't hear ever before.
"Welcome back to us- and to The Illumination Hotel,
I don't want you to fall down our crippled well,
You cannot open up your eyes, you are not ready yet,
If you see your surroundings you are sure to regret!"
"How can I deny what I wish to see?"
"You can manage by just counting on me!"
"You're a new voice, a new choice for me!"
"I am Denial, the one you'll always see!"
Silence didn't crawl back to the room, the noise did. The silence was the noise all around them. It twisted and turned, but never let Squall sleep again; never let him seep back to sleep deep enough to get rid of the silk linen that was burning his skin. He felt the bed burst into flames around him; yet, his skin wasn't on fire. His veins were. The pain came from the inside.
"Is Pain here?" Squall demanded, feeling such intensity flow through his veins.
"He cannot enter this place; he is banned from it!"
"Is he near?"
"You are here-
Since you remain in this hotel, he is near,
He will walk around it, waiting for Fear!"
"What does fear have to do with all this?" Squall demanded, as he felt strong arms lift him up from the bed, and felt his feet touch the ground.
"No more questions, my orchid," Love said, "Just wait for my kiss."
Squall was even more confused; but he couldn't help but shiver when he felt clothes appear around him like a second skin. He felt his clothes move to fit his shape, enlarge or shrink for a better size.
As Squall felt himself be compltely dressed, he heard Fear speak.
"I am right by you; helping you walk
We must make haste, or your outline will be of chalk,
We must leave; We must believe, or else you'll end up
With a label on your toe, on a metal stretcher,
Taken to a room full of dead souls and leather..."
Squall tried to understand what Fear was saying, tried to feel the chilly touch of his words, when a girl's singing voice interrupted his train of thought.
"Who is that, where does that come from?" Squall demanded.
"It is your most fearsome enemy..." Love replied.
"No need to put my name on that storm..." Fear objected,
"Why does this voice sound so lovely?" Squall demanded.
Squall felt another familiar presence by his side, as he felt himself get dragged off his current position. He felt the carpet move underneath his feet, and managed to ask a question.
"I don't want to be away from this voice-
Where are you dragging me off to?" he felt his blood boil as the blindfold started to turn to a crimson colour. He wanted to shout so much more to those around him... Just then, Rage spoke on his behalf.
"SINCE WHEN DO PARTS OF ME DON'T LEAVE ME A CHOICE
DO YOU WANT ME TO SLICE THROUGH-
LET ME GO!!!"
Squall felt the blindfold start to burn. It really was burning, but the flames were coloured in black and pink, instead of red and orange. He felt the flames pass through his eyes and travel across the nerves, all the way to his brain. He felt the flames, scorching his skull, burning what's inside. He screamed in pain.
"Here I am,
His shout has given me what I lacked before,
The ability to breach the core!" Pain said, appearing right by Squall's side.
"YOU ARE A FOOL TO ENTER THIS PLACE!!!
NOW SHE WILL WISH TO SEE FACE-TO-FACE!!!" Rage screamed.
"My great Angel, did you forget that?" Love demanded of Pain.
"I never forget; but why am I at that
Point where I am standing; where I have landed?"
Squall shouted, "SHUT UP FOR A SECOND!!!" to all. And then, silence fell, however, the girl's singing voice distrupted the perfect, velvet black silence around Squall as he reached out and pulled off his blindfold.
And suddenly, he screamed.
There was nothing around him. He was on his knees; he was on the flat surface of nothingness. His mind wandered around to see the faded silhouettes of those that had spoken to him. There was nothing but emptyness around him; planes of non-existence.
Squall screamed. He cried out with all he had. He couldn't balance this abstract view, his logic, his senses were crawling; and his most instinctive, natural attempt to respond was to pass out...
...But he held onto the sawdust left of the work of carpentry he had called his conscience, and managed to look around, as they all sang together.
"Is that all you have..?
She will find you, if you keep lying here,
If you keep crying fears,
She will come out and send you to the plane of unclear..."
Squall barely registered the words, his mind was occupied by the morbid, gothic children's rhyme that sounded in the background. Squall heard footsteps that echoed like a thousand bells ringing in the very same moment. He managed to open up his shut eyes, and as he bled concrete tears, he looked backwards to see a diagonal form of existence approaching.
All he saw was a shadow walking towards him from a distance...
...But, the "hotel" was around this feminine shape. As she took steps forward, the paintings on the walls, the tiles on the floor, the carpets, the ceiling... It all were around her near vicinity, and it was as if she alone was acting like a torch lighting up a dark corridor. Only parts of it and mommentarily, but Squall sensed that this shadow was what made The Illumination Hotel find presence.
Squall felt those around him scream; but Fear and Rage drowned the voices of others. Fear and Rage responded to her presence with their high-pitched, bass growls;
"WHY ARE YOU HERE YOU WRETCHED SPAWN!?
TO SHOW HIM WHY HIS MIND WAS DRAWN
ONTO A CRIMSON LINE THAT REPRESENTS
THE DEATH OF EVERYTHING HEAVEN-SENT!?"
The shadow was still approaching. Squall felt as if he was drowning. Fear was embracing him, he could feel his clothes extend and wrap themselves around him. Squall was choking, he couldn't breathe through the clothes of fear. He tried to grab onto something; but nothing seemed to suffice in this frantic moment.
Footsteps approached Squall as Fear's fabric held him tighter and tighter. Until it exploded, sending off shards of the clothing as mirror pieces... They all flew into different directions within the nothingness.
Squall felt Fear release him... He was falling, until Rage and Pain caught him together.
Squall watched the shadow approach, and tried to see through all the shifting colours of The Illumination Hotel, which only materialised around her. The shadow carried the most beautiful eyes that he had ever seen. She was walking ever-so-seductively, and seemed so tempting.
"Who are you to deny my existence, knight?
I am here to bless you with my presence tonight..." the shadow sang to Squall.
"I remember you..." Squall said, "From my past."
"Do you also remember my name that which will last?
No? You were not built to last,
I am Ayreona, the one and only!"
Squall whispered to her, "Maybe so, but I will now slowly-"
He was interrupted by a subtle voice,
"Show thee!!!"
When Squall looked up, he saw a woman standing between him and Ayreona's shadow. She was wearing long, revealing but concealing clothes which he couldn't tell where they started or where they ended. She stood her ground between them, and her white-black-grey hair flew around her, she watched Ayreona.
Squall just looked at Fear questioningly. Fear frowned, and then, his face shifted to a rather sad expression. He looked away from Squall, and said;
"She is Reason."
Ayreona smiled. Squall had seen that smile on her face before. He knew that smile almost too well...
...A smile that was a message on her next move; a swift curve in the air that which had slit Reason's throat, leaving her choking on the floor of nothingness.