Rock and Romance
Warnings: Very bad sexual stuff (to say any more than that would give it away)
Archived: http:adultfan,nexcess,net/aff/story,php?no544173771 ; http:fiction,gurabiteshiyon,net/story,php?no722 ; http:www,fanfiction,net/s/2199767/1/
We're backing up a little here and watching the performance from Shuichi's side.
Chapter 3"It's a pretty nice place, as far as clubs go, don't you think?" Sakano said, breathing in the only slightly smoky air proudly.
"Yeah…" Shuichi replied, his shoulders hunched and his eyes stuck to the floor.
"You know, this band was pretty hard to track down. It was sheer luck that I happened to think to ask the bartender if they were playing here," Sakano said.
"Yeah…"
Sakano glanced at his smaller boyfriend through the corner of his eye, but otherwise pretended that Shuichi's low mood didn't affect him. "They're called 'Bad Luck.' Isn't that kind of funny, considering what good luck has brought us to them?"
"Yeah…"
"Of course, I'm not entirely sure that they're good enough. It may just be hype, you know. But I'm looking forward to it, nonetheless."
"Yeah…"
Sakano sighed, but didn't comment. He led Shuichi towards the bar, and leaned against it, watching as his little boyfriend crawled heavily onto the stool beside him. Shuichi slumped forward immediately, placing his hands on the edge of the cushion between his thighs and letting his head drop forward so that his pink hair shadowed most of his face.
"I noticed you haven't written anything for awhile, Shuichi," Sakano said, his voice flooded with a great deal of concern that had been absent in his earlier conversation.
"Yeah."
"Shuichi," Sakano said, his voice evaporating into an apprehensive whisper. He leaned towards Shuichi, nervously glancing around as if to make sure no one was looking. "You know I'm sorry about…what happened…"
Shuichi pouted and slumped even further forward. "You could have at least tried."
Sakano let out a shaky breath and crossed his arms. "I'm sorry. I was… You know me, Shuichi."
"How can you expect anything to get better if you never try anything different?" Shuichi cried, frowning up at his boyfriend. Sakano lifted his brows, seemingly afraid of Shuichi's anger. He loosened his tie and glanced towards the stage.
"Look, I said I was sorry."
"But you never promised anything different, so you must not be really sorry," Shuichi muttered, giving up and looking back down to the floor.
"Shuichi, come on! I—"
A deep voice suddenly came over the speakers, cutting Sakano short. Both he and Shuichi looked up at the stage, and the latter froze when he laid eyes upon the man at the microphone—it was none other than the very person he had been thinking about nonstop since their encounter…the person he had never expected to see again.
"Good evening, everyone. We are Bad Luck. We will be performing our original song, Rage Beat. Please enjoy."
Short and sweet, and said with the usual frown adorning those perfect lips. Shuichi stared, appalled, with his face stricken white and his features tensed into a horrified expression.
No, no! Not here! Not with Sakano!
Shuichi glanced up at his boyfriend with a guilty look, almost thankful that Sakano hadn't seen his face. As much as he tried to fight it, though, Shuichi found his eyes instinctively falling back to the stage, where stood his unrealistically sexy lover adorned in tight black leather that fit his body unacceptably nicely. Shuichi's mouth watered as he drank in the sight: long legs shining with leather, short black shirt that allowed a strip of white skin to show gorgeous slenderness, and silky blond hair that reflected the lights in a manner that made it look like a golden halo.
Shuichi tore his eyes away. God, he had forgotten how hot Eiri really was! It had only been a day since the incident, and yet Shuichi had spent so much time pining that it seemed like so much longer.
Eiri hadn't seemed to have noticed him yet; if he had, then he didn't have a reaction, but Shuichi hoped that wasn't the case. Shuichi watched Eiri stand coolly on the stage, his head cocked to the side with one hand resting on the microphone as the music started; his lips were pursed, and he looked ready to start singing.
Shuichi did a double take. Singing? He shook his head. Hadn't Eiri told him that he was a keyboardist? Shuichi's eyes wandered to the other band members behind Eiri, stopping when he saw a short, black-haired boy surrounded by a fancy looking synthesizer. Had Eiri lied to him? But why?
Shuichi's gaze returned to Eiri, watching intently, almost obsessively, as the latter moved to grab the microphone. Shuichi saw those golden eyes flash over the crowd and was taken by surprise when they stopped on him. Even more surprising was the way Eiri's cool demeanor crumbled in the blink of an eye, and he stood, staring wildly like a deer in headlights at Shuichi.
So he hadn't seen me after all…When Eiri's voice joined the music, even Shuichi, who knew little to nothing about music, could tell he was off. It was almost amusing to watch Eiri struggle as he did; if the situation was different, Shuichi may have even smiled.
Sakano released a disappointed groan, catching Shuichi's attention. Shuichi looked up at him quizzically.
"I guess it was all hype," Sakano said with a defeated shrug. He looked about ready to leave when suddenly a clear voice, nothing less than beautiful, resounded throughout the club, putting a halt to all the dancers and drawing everyone's attention back to the stage. Shuichi studied Eiri, his mouth dropping open at the change; Eiri had become cool again. He stood, his eyes closed lightly, his head thrown back, pouring his voice into the microphone in an awesome show. Shuichi watched, biting his upper lip, as Eiri's hand slowly, seductively traced down his own waist, but Shuichi's eyes traveled beyond the hand and down the hips, past the groin and those sexy thighs, all the way to his boots and then back up again until they finally came to rest on his perfect face.
Shuichi licked his lips and felt a tightening in his own groin; quickly he leaned forward, covering his thighs with his upper body, thankful that Sakano was so entranced with the performance that he didn't notice.
The deep voice rang out again, and Shuichi thrust his eyes closed, remembering once again their time together and practically reliving it in his mind. A bead of sweat surfaced on his forehead as he envisioned the blonde hovering over him, the feel of the luscious singer inside of him, diving into him. Smooth skin, tense muscles, soft lips… Shuichi puckered his mouth and opened half-lidded eyes, looking once again upon the lead singer, before closing them again and allowing himself to be swamped by the memories.
He could still remember the pleasure at the height of it all, when he had been wrapped up in Eiri's arms. He had felt so good…so loved, almost… It was like a dream come true. If only it could happen again.
"Wow," Sakano said, painfully dragging Shuichi back to reality with a heavy blush.
Shuichi prayed that Sakano didn't look over—all his shame and guilt was so apparent. The urge to grab himself was almost irresistible, and Shuichi tangled his fingers into his pink locks to stop himself. He heard Eiri's voice again, now a soft, fast melody instead of long notes, but equally alluring. His face was burning all the way to the tips of his ears, and it took every ounce of his self-control not to look up at the singer, lest he make his own frailty even worse.
It was useless, though. Shuichi gave in, and his hand wandered down to his groin, lightly touching the bulge there. He had to work to stifle a moan. Another flawless note from Eiri sent Shuichi's mind spinning, and he felt himself harden so much that it was like torture.
"I…I don't feel so good!" Shuichi cried out, jumping to his feet and taking off towards the bathroom, hoping that he had turned quick enough that Sakano didn't see his faithlessness.
Plowing full-speed towards the bathroom, Shuichi only stopped himself after almost taking a nosedive straight into a toilet. He kicked the stall closed and locked it frantically before pulling open his fly and gripping himself tightly, finally releasing his pent-up moan. He could still hear the muffled tones of Eiri's voice through the walls, and it only inspired more visions.
He could feel Eiri thrusting into him, gripping his shoulders and groaning above him. That deliciously soft yet slick skin sliding across his own left butterflies in his stomach.
His right hand was joined by his left as the pleasure mounted. The tunes from the club had faded away, and Shuichi could only assume that the song had ended, but that was the last thing in his mind at the moment. The visions of golden eyes were intense—he could see Eiri everywhere, sitting on the park bench, lying on top of him on that old couch, standing on stage, confident and cocky, and that lovely outfit. The smirk, the frown, the taste of those lips… And the feel of Eiri inside of him never left him. He wanted it so badly. He could never have enough.
Sweat dripped down his cheeks like tears. Clutching himself tightly, Shuichi felt his entire body spasm and tense right before the entire world exploded around him. He screamed Eiri's name as he climaxed, dirtying himself in his own shame.
A few moments of heavy, dank silence passed, as Shuichi lay motionless, sprawled uncomfortably across the toilet. His breath was rapid and irregular, and sweat clung to his body with a musky, damp scent. "Oh, God…" he whispered, his throat sore from all his moaning. "God, Eiri…"
It wasn't until the glow of sex started fading that Shuichi realized he was crying. Sniffing slightly, he reached for the toilet paper and began to wipe himself off. He wasn't sure why the tears were flowing as they did—he supposed it was sadness over something he didn't have. Sakano didn't love him, he knew that now, and neither did Eiri. He felt so lonely, it was tearing him up inside.
Throwing the soiled paper into the water and flushing the toilet, Shuichi zipped up his fly and wiped the last of his tears away before opening the stall door and stepping outside. The sight that awaited him nearly made him faint.
It was a sight that was now hardly unfamiliar, though more often quite unreal. Smooth white skin, godly golden eyes and tight leather pants, no different from what had been so recently envisioned in his mind, decorated the beauty that stood before him now. Shuichi's eyes quivered as he lifted them towards the face, which he only hoped would not be too scornful.
Eiri looked as though he didn't know whether to be angry or amused; one eyebrow was lifted higher than the other, and his lips were parted slightly, as if on standby and ready to move once he made up his mind. Shuichi stood, frozen to his spot, his breaths arriving in quick succession, just like earlier, and his eyes fluttered back and forth as thoughts raced through his mind.
The two stood, unmoving, for what seemed like forever. The awkwardness was suffocating, but Shuichi, at least, was trapped. His gaze began to wander to his opposite, slowly climbing up those spider-like legs, until he realized what he was doing and returned his eyes to the floor with a slight gasp.
At last, Eiri took initiative, relieving the tension a bit with a subdued, stiff "humph," freeing Shuichi from his prison. Shuichi took the chance to casually stride forward, pretending as though this wasn't the most embarrassing, destructive moment in his life, toward the sink adjacent to the one upon which Eiri was leaning. The sinks of the club were the automatic kind; Shuichi held his hands under the faucet and it turned on instantly by itself, knowing in all its mechanical wisdom that it held the last refuge for the pink-haired author. The water flowed over his palms and curled between his fingers, winding and twisting like a frightened snake, and carrying with it all the sticky ignominy from his skin.
"Now I know I have at least one fan," Eiri muttered, the smirk on his lips surfacing in his tone. "I thought I was pretty clear that I didn't want to see you again. Why did you come here?"
The color drained instantly from Shuichi's face, and all of his leftover sweat cooled so suddenly that a chill ran down his spine. "I…I didn't mean—it was… It was a coincidence! I swear! I didn't know the band was yours!" Shuichi cried, all his former humiliation retreating to be replaced with anger.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah! What, you think I'm a stalker?"
"I would guess so, the way you were hollering my name like that for anyone to hear."
Shuichi frowned, almost surprised that Eiri's comment only further infuriated him instead of embarrassing him like such statements usually would. "Whatever! I was just out to have a good time with my…" he cut himself short, tossing a hand in front of his mouth. The entire affair was dishonorable, but he didn't want Eiri to know that he was already taken, especially since said singer seemed to want nothing to do with him anyway.
"With your boyfriend?"
Shuichi glanced to the side, finally making eye contact with the singer, as his face formed into a frightened expression. "How… How did you know?" he whispered.
Eiri snorted, running an impatient hand through his hair, unwittingly illustrating its silkiness for Shuichi to feed upon. "God, you're such an idiot. It was frankly obvious that you were living with someone else, and it hardly looked like a roommate, since there was only one bed."
"But…"
"And besides that," Eiri continued, rolling his eyes and then letting them wander towards the ceiling, "Half that shit on the floor didn't match you, especially since most of the clothes weren't even your size or style."
Shuichi felt his eyes stinging with growing tears.
"And," Eiri said, returning his eyes to Shuichi with a snide smile, "Why would you have coffee if you never drink it yourself? Hmm…?"
"But I… It's nothing…with him. It's you that I love!"
Eiri closed his eyes and laughed bitterly before his face hardened, and he grabbed Shuichi's collar, jerking the boy forward up onto his toes. "Look, I told you no, and I meant it. I don't ever want to see your face again, do you understand?"
Shuichi's face reddened, and tears glistened in his eyes as he clutched onto Eiri's fist in an attempt to sustain his balance. "No!" he cried. "No! I don't understand!"
"Wha…?"
"You bastard! How can you expect me to understand an asshole like you? You didn't mention anything about it being a one-time thing before we did it! I thought it meant something! I wouldn't have gone through with it otherwise!"
Eiri's face assumed a mask of anger as he glared down at Shuichi through slit eyes. His lips pursed before opening into a snarl. "Dumb-ass. It's not my fault that you're a dimwit. You thought it meant something…"
"Of course I did! Anyone would!"
"Any preadolescent, hormonally unstable girl would! Let this be a lesson to you, then," Eiri growled before tossing Shuichi forward into the sinks. The writer landed hard, his head painfully sinking into the faucet, which spit forth its water as if it were mocking him. "I read your fucking book," Eiri continued, stepping backwards and crossing his arms over his chest, perching himself in a menacing stance. "You shouldn't write about love, when you know nothing about it. It's quite obvious that you don't."
"And you do?" Shuichi retorted sharply, unsure whether to be angry at the insult or flattered that Eiri had taken the time to read his work.
The sick smile that drifted across Eiri's expression left Shuichi wondering what could have caused such a reaction. The only thing he could fathom, as he stared fixedly, was that the answer was a very painful "yes." A few moments of thick silence passed, unbroken until Eiri sighed and let his arms fall loosely to his sides, shifting his weight, and then swinging around, striding towards the door with an exasperated air.
Shuichi waited until the door slammed shut after him before breaking down into tears, slumping to the floor and burying his choked sobs in his hands. The altercation stung bitterly in his mind as he wept, tearing his body in half with his violent cries. He had been so mad at Sakano for being so timid and unsatisfying, but Shuichi knew he himself was a demon in comparison. Cheating on his caring boyfriend for a man that didn't even give a shit about him…his own deplorability ricocheted around his thoughts, making his sobs that much more passionate and pathetic.
Even as he knelt there, though, weeping as if the world had just ended, he could make no resolutions for the better nor forgive himself for anything. Whatever force this was would not release its grip on him, and all he could see was the one person he would never have.
What did Eiri know? Shuichi was new, but he was learning quickly. Love was just as painful as the smile that had twisted Eiri's lips into such a frightful warning.
TBC
Notes: A couple of notes on Fujisaki: I think he'll be the only character I'm changing physically. First, I'm making him older than he is in the anime. Probably around 18 or so; the actual age doesn't matter so much, but he lives on his own. Second, he's not related to Tohma. At all. Doesn't even know him.
No matter how many times I proofread my work, there are always more typos. I don't know why. The first chapter, I read over, like, fifteen times because I was stuck in my aunt's house in Chicago with nothing to do, and yet I still missed some…
Makes me angry; stupid spell-checker never catches them. Also, now, since I'm not stuck in my aunt's house, and actually have a computer, I won't be reading over them as much, which probably means I will miss even more typos. Sorry.
And lastly, but definitely not leastly (eh-heh, that's not a word), thank you everyone for reviewing. I have this posted in three places, so sometimes it's hard to keep up with all of them, but I really do appreciate your encouragement and criticism.
Until next time,
Cassi.