A/N: My first story, "To Tell the Truth," was a serious story, so I decided to try a humorous one! I also enjoyed reading some hysterical parodies on Hermione getting a makeover and Hermione and Harry getting together (not gonna happen, people), and I figured I'd trya fic like thatfor myself. So, this story will contain a lot of love triangles and a lot of random stuff, so I hope you'll enjoy!

JKR owns everything!

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The Most Cliché Harry Potter FanFic EVER!

It was a glorious summer day at the Burrow, in which Harry and Hermione were staying for the holidays. The sun beamed down upon the happy trio, who were all in surprisingly good moods because this sickly romantic parody would not be possible with Harry still moping over Sirius. Hermione was looking particularly bushy and ordinary today, Ron was blundering about like an idiot, not at all in character, and Harry was acting unusually kind and gentle, as he had finally gotten over his teenaged arrogance, for the same reason that he was in such a good mood. None of them were at all worried about Lord Voldemort rising spectacularly to power, because who wants to read a romantic fanfic where everyone's scared of some highly unimportant dark lord?

Ginny, who fit nicely into the role of "the girl that every guy wants to date" was fabulously bedecked in gaudy costume jewelry and too much makeup. Being quite over her little girlish crush on the famous Harry Potter, she merely gave him a friendly smile and wave as she passed, which, when read between the lines, secretly said, "I'm madly and adorably in love with you." Ginny strode gorgeously over to Hermione, who was still looking ridiculously ordinary, and put a friendly hug around her, since the need for Hermione to have a female best friend was highly obvious in the first five books. Hermione, who up until then had been having a raging row with Ron for no reason other than the fact that they seemed to have done that a lot in books four and five, returned Ginny's grin, her teeth mysteriously huge again. Ginny gave a high-pitched, girlish giggle.

"Oh, Hermione!" she cooed. "You're so outdated! Come up to my room and we'll make you look beautiful!"

Ron, who had suddenly become oddly materialistic, gave a harsh laugh.

"Don't even bother, Ginny!" he chortled. "Hermione's a bookworm character. You can't make bookworm characters too pretty!"

Harry, in all his gentle kindness, strode over at the sound of the argument.

"Hermione's a lovely girl," he said. "Just because she's a bookworm, doesn't mean she can't have a makeover."

During all this time Hermione had been politely reading, as this, too, was something that Hermione seemed to really like doing in the first five books. All of a sudden, however, Ginny had made up her mind about Hermione's appearance, and she yanked Hermione from her mad reading and dragged her up the stairs to her room, closely followed by a huffy Ron and a beaming Harry.

"Now we're just going to do a little something with this hair…" Ginny said, pulling out her wand and sending sparkling, starry lights shining all around her room that was covered in bright pink lace and posters of really hot guys.

"Hey, what am I doing on your wall?" Harry asked suddenly, seeing a poster of himself wearing no shirt and an expression of sexy romance.

"What? What are you talking about?" Ginny asked, and the poster magically disappeared.

"That's better," said Harry. "I'm not supposed to know that we're secretly madly in love until later in the fanfic."

Ginny, meanwhile, was tapping Hermione's head with her wand in a series of hot drum rhythms, while Ron muttered about Hermione being an ordinary bookworm. Suddenly, there was a flash of light and Hermione's hair was perfectly straight, silky, and soft. A light from above shone down on her and she looked exactly like an angel. She struck a gorgeous pose, and Ron fell to his knees.

"Oh, beautiful Hermione!" he cried. "Though I acted before like I liked you, I have never truly felt anything for you until this moment! You are a goddess! An angel! My materialistic, uncharacteristic, and sudden realization of my true feelings for you forces me to say this and this alone: I love you! I love you with every breath of my being, every beat of my lowly, idiotic heart, every—"

But suddenly Ginny smeared deep, romantic, red lipstick across Hermione's suddenly luscious, perfectly shaped lips and Ron fell to the floor, weeping.

"Ah! The beauty you cast upon me is blinding! I cannot speak! No more! No more! Your splendor is too much! Hurt no more my weak, love-filled heart!"

Yet Ginny splashed a touch of glitter across Hermione's cheeks.

"AAAAARRRRRGGHHH! I cannot stand it! Cease! Cease! My heart and soul will explode if Hermione is made any more beautiful! Take me now, Hermione, and spare my life! Thou art too lovely, too fair—"

"Whoa, did Ron just say 'thou art'?" Harry asked quietly, as Ginny tapped Hermione with her wand, causing Hermione to be suddenly dressed in a sexy, slim, strapless black dress that came down only to her upper thigh, and causing Ron to curl up in the fetal position, sucking his thumb.

"Hemimome," he mumbled through his thumb, "fease to ve fo bufiful…. I wuf you wif aww my heaht…."

But Ginny wasn't finished yet. With a final tap of the wand, Hermione's skin was a perfect, golden tan, and her feet were dressed in five-inch black heels. Ron's entire body began to twitch, and suddenly both his heart and his soul exploded.