A/N I know that this is STILL a short chapter, and I'm sorry, it's just that this is really hard for me to write. My feelings for Snape are so much that I have no choice but to express them, but I want to do it once and the right way. I'm glad that so many of you are enjoying this, and thank you to all of my reviewers. I've found that listening to Josh Groban's first cd helps me to write this.

Chapter 4 – Your Noise Has Broken My Defense

Severus' life had many long periods of alone time. Once in a while Lucius would ask him to hang out with him, but that was rare as he was quite popular. One issue that Lucius loved to press was the importance of association. Only purebloods were worthy of Severus' time and attention according to Lucius. Severus' father had enforced these ideas as well, but one part of Severus didn't want to think like that. One part of him thought that all wizards were at least better off than muggles and that it was okay to be muggle-born. That part of him was that felt attracted to dear little half-breed Remus.

Remus had a secret, and Severus had only just noticed that it was present. In the years before nothing had been obvious, but now James and Sirius knew of something as well. To think that Sirius knew something about Remus, something like a secret, that Severus didn't know… it hurt deep down inside like an ache that couldn't be soothed.

Meals were never fun for Severus. He would sit alone at his table, maybe next to where Lucius and his friends were sitting, but alone all the same. Two tables over sat four boys, two of them completely absorbed with each other's company, and the other two smaller boys sat quietly thinking. Or chewing in Peter's case. This particular day at lunch something else happened. Remus Lupin looked up from where he had been staring to meet his amber gaze with that of Severus' brown one. Neither one of them moved their eyes until the crowd began to stir and continue on their day. Both boys hurriedly grabbed their stuff and then walked out of the hall. This was the beginning of something for both boys.

Potions class had always been Gryffindor and Slytherin together for as long as Severus could remember. This of course was his best class, but he was having trouble concentrating today. Remus wouldn't stop watching him, and it was making him very nervous. Sure enough, after class the mousy boy came over to Severus' table as he was packing up. His breath got short as he got nervous, and he turned to see Remus having the same problem. A small smile escaped the small boys lips, and it was returned.

"Hi, er…do you think you could help me out with something?" Remus asked. So that's why he's looking at me. He wants something. I should have known. Severus turned back to his things and continued to pack up.

"What did you have in mind, Lupin?" The last word came out sharp, and Remus took a step back. Severus wanted to feel pleased that he had scared him, but he couldn't help but want the boy's attention.

"Er, well,…you're very good at Potions. And I'm not. So, maybe you could tutor me or something? I mean, if you have the time, and you wouldn't mind…" he trailed off as Severus started to walk away. Remus struggled to keep up with Severus strides, the tall boy's legs being much longer than the other boy. A small smile crept up onto Severus' face, thinking that he had Remus Lupin following him at last. He stopped quickly and spun around only to have Remus bump right into him. Not a bad result.

"What do I get out of it? If I help you, what will you do for me?" Snape narrowed his eyes a little, but saw the look on Remus' face and softened his own.

"Um, well, what did you have in mind for payment? I could maybe help you in another area, or something. I'm quite good at divination, and um,…" Severus stopped him from going on.

"We'll figure it out later. Meet me in the library tomorrow night after dinner. We'll start then." He turned to walk away, a strange feeling growing inside of him. This day had been the first in a long while where something worth remembering happened. For the first time he went to bed excited to wake up the next morning and live, instead of wishing he would just die in his sleep and live in the world of dreams for ever more.