Disclaimer: I don't own demon diary.. I do own a can of pineapple juice
Warnings: Well I could warn you about this being shonen-ai, but since you've probably read at least one of the mangas.. You'd have to be an idiot not to notice.
A/N: I don't know what to say about this. It's been sitting on a floppy for six months or so. It's mostly pointless rambling and rather unoriginal but it's something to read none the less.
Enjoy!
Dear Diary,
Yet again I sit here and wonder exactly what my life has come to. I feel so lost when you're near me, it's like I'm drowning in a pool of emotion that I have never felt before and unfortunately, I don't know how to swim.
I hate you and I love you at the same time. You make me so horrified that I need you and want to be by you every minuet of the day and night. At the same time, I love being with you. Your smile, your eyes, the smell of your hair, everything about you drives me to utter insanity. It's like an addiction driving me wild and over the edge.
And now I sit here and wonder about you knowing that you don't know how I feel. I wish that you would know one day but I'd die if you found out.
You stare at me as though you know exactly what I'm thinking and my heart skips a beat. I feel weak and I wonder if you really know. You couldn't know, I am completely unnoticed by you. Maybe you're the sun and I'm the moon, never quite comparing to your beauty. It's the opposite of what everyone thinks.
I might be more of the moon then I thought. The Mysterious moon… I hold secrets that I don't even know. I am changed. A new phase has gone through my life and a new person is born. Before, I would not have had the piece of mind to make myself whole. I love Eclipse and I cannot deny that now. I thought that he didn't care for me but today he proved that I was wrong.
I know now that Eclipse cares. He proved himself. For some reason he would die for me. I wish I wasn't such a klutz so that he wouldn't have to risk his life
And still he thinks I'm so innocent, but he's wrong and as much as he tries to hide it, I know he isn't as pure as he lets on. Chris and Erutis haven't looked at Eclipse as threatening since they first met him. I don't only want to see the Eclipse I know now. I want to know all of him. Part of him is still dark and I can't wait to bring his old self out again.
Time belongs to the future…
If it is indeed that time belongs to the future and not the past then Eclipse will surely change. Life was never good growing up for me. If I wasn't destined to be a demon lord then I doubt that I would have survived. The God's had to have been the ones to cause all of this. No one else has the power or even just the will to care. Everyone around me was so apathetic at the time; I was not Raenef but the devil's child who no one should be in any contact with. I had no friends; anyone my age that I came in contact was quickly rushed away by their screaming parents.
I never knew my parents. I so desperately wish that I had at least met my mother but it wasn't meant to be. My earliest memories are of wandering the streets alone, just trying to survive. It was lonely, but I was alive…. barely but I'm still here.
This gives me hope. Look how far I've come. Two years ago I had nowhere to go and no food, a year ago, a home and some food, yesterday, the intelligence of a six year old and today I'm demon lord Raenef who wants to be the best so he can continue to make Eclipse smile everyday. Who knows what tomorrow will bring!
Loving you in secret,
Raenef
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