Chapter 6 – Mirabile Dictu

Asenath Paroo was a wreck.

She had accepted Sirius Black's offer because there was a cloak she fancied at the Witchy Wow shop in Hogsmeade, and she had been saving up for it. It was purple and gold; not very Gryffindor but very Asenath. Her parents had named her after a character in a H.P. Lovecraft story, after all.

Lily Evans' words had shamed her to the soul, and she was genuinely concerned about hurting Snape's feelings. Why had she done it? She lay on her bed, crying periodically. When her roommates came in to get their books, she pretended to be asleep. She knew she never could wear the cloak in good conscience. What should she do?

And then it came to her.

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Severus Snape's roommates were concerned because Sev had been in the habit of sending roses to Britomartis Vox during her last year at Hogwarts. Did this mean that the Slytherin boy had given up all hope? After all, he had never heard from her again. They all knew he grieved deeply for her and had never been the same since.

Severus had always longed for a girlfriend, of course – something he thought he'd never have on account of his unfortunate looks and his shady upbringing. It was difficult for him to realize that he had loved Spirals and had never told her; however, Martis Vox was gone from his life and had been for some time. Snape figured that she'd found a boyfriend at Beauxbatons – some handsome guy who wouldn't get tongue-tied or embarrassed or hide behind his hair or be called a greasy little git.

Martis was Martis – and Asenath was definitely Asenath.

Martis was gone; Asenath was at hand, and she had kissed him!

In the three days that had passed after he had given her the roses, Severus had taken pains to wash his hair several times a day just in case he should run into her and just in case she should want to – touch it. Or touch him. Or whatever she could be talked into doing.

Sev smiled as he recalled an applicable phrase from his Latin class:

Mirabile dictu!

How wondrous to behold!

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It was Seventh-Year Potions class. The Marauders (well, half of them, anyway) were inordinately happy because this was the glorious day when Sirius Black would tell Severus Snape that he had been set up. James Potter had had wanted no part of it and Remus Lupin had been ambivalent. That had left Black and Peter Pettigrew, who was thrilled to spasms at the prospect of seeing Snivellus getting it in the teeth again.

"Best five galleons I ever spent," Black said, beaming. "Watch this."

He waited until Professor Sartoris was otherwise engaged and then tiptoed over to Severus, who was by himself laboring over a steaming cauldron.

"Hey Snotnose."

Severus gave a growl of disgust and annoyance. "What do you want, Black? A doggy biscuit?"

"Oh, and hasn't Snivelly the Snake-Boy gotten high and mighty since he became the big ladies' man! Well, guess what, Twitchy?"

"Oh, what? Pray, tell me! I am so unbelievably riveted to your every word!" Snape replied, sneering.

Heads began to turn as Black's voice rose. "I paid that girl five galleons to kiss you! It was all a prank! She told me later that she'd rather kiss the backside of a Hippogriff!"

That latter part wasn't true, but Black was on a roll.

Severus suppressed the jab of hurt that went through his heart. He knew that all eyes were on him as well. "I thought backsides were your specialty, Black."

Students around him cried "WoooooOOOO!" in admiration.

"That was pretty good, Sev," Lily Evans laughed. James Potter, who was partnering Lily in the lab, grinned his approval.

"You know what, Slime-Mold?" Black spat.

"Oh, gods, he's been reading biology books again," Sev announced. "He must have learned to read over the summer. Wonder if he found out where babies come from?"

Black felt his face heat up with embarrassment. "Asi told me that she had to rub her lips raw with rock salt to get rid of that nasty, slimy feel of snake lips!"

"Snakes don't have lips, you stupid git," Sev replied, adding just the proper amount of pulverized Sargasso Sea grass. "Go treat yourself to a nice flea dip, you mangy cur."

"Sev's certainly crushed, isn't he?" joshed Lily, sniggering at Sirius Black.

"Utterly," James replied. "Do me the honor, Redheaded Goddess, and stir this mess while I add this tincture of monkwort?"

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Severus reflected on Black's words later that day. They had certainly hurt; he was fortunate to have what Muggles called a "poker-face" so that no one could see it. The Marauder prank had fed right into the Slytherin boy's bottomless well of self-hatred.

His face burned with shame when he thought about crossing paths with Asenath Paroo again. Should he hex her?

He had sought out Lily's counsel.

"Forget it, Sev," Lily had said, comforting him. "Asi hasn't even had a real boyfriend since she came to Hogwarts. You must not be missing much!"

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Asi and Sev's paths literally crossed the very next day. Severus had been heading to Potions class, and Asenath had been going to the Owlery to send a note home to her mum.

The girl's sea-green eyes widened when she saw Severus. A hesitant hand went up over her mouth.

The Slytherin looked at her, his eyes cold. "You are disgusting," he spat. "Hope you spent that money on a conscience."

Asi's other hand flew to her mouth. "Oh, Severus – I'm so sorry – "And then she ran over, threw her arms around him, and kissed him again. "Oh – forgive me please – "

Mirabile dictu!

Snape relished the feel of warm girl in his arms, a warm girl who began kissing him from the base of his throat right on up to his extremely warm lips (where hers lingered a while) and then around to his ears. Would he forgive her?

Of course he would.

And because he was starved for human contact and because she smelled delicious and because he was a teenage boy, Severus allowed her to continue kissing him.

Encouraged it, in fact.

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Sirius Black returned to the library and found five galleons resting atop his stack of textbooks.

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Over the next several weeks, Severus and Asenath took advantage of any spare time in their respective schedules to meet inside the utility closet outside the Potions Lab. They managed to talk, to be sure, but the lion's share of their time together was spent snogging. Neither knew much about it, but practice meant perfect so practice they did.

Both were comfortable with the secrecy implicit in their relationship. Severus had realized that he would have to drop her later this year along with his other Gryffindor friends; he would just have to bear it along with the loss of James and Lily. Asenath had figured her parents wouldn't be too happy about their daughter dating a future Death Eater. Some thought Sev was funny-looking as well, but she loved his aquiline nose and his now always-clean and always-silky long hair.

It didn't matter. The two students were making each other happy, at least for a while.

And Sirius Black began thinking of all the nasty ways he could badmouth Miss Asenath Paroo, who was plainly a disgrace to the House of Gryffindor and probably should have been Sorted into the Snake Pit in the first place.