Homework, homework… We had homework? Oh, yea, right… Well, I had a busy weekend, you know. I was walking home from school on Saturday, fully intending to do my writing log as soon as I got home, when I saw a flash of green light, and the sidewalk blew up. You need to keep quiet about this, now- it's top secret- but I am, in actuality, a witch. Passed my N.E.W.T.s with flying colors in first year. I am also a junior member of the Order of the Phoenix- which is technically not allowed, but I'm special, so Albus made an exception. Anyways, back on topic here- I was walking home from school when I saw green light, was blasted off my feet, hit in the head with a piece of rogue concrete, and was knocked out.

When I woke up, I was obviously in the house of a Dark wizard. Dark Arts books, a bunch of portraits of snakes, and lots of creepy jars with nasty things floating in them. If I didn't know better, I'd say I was in Severus' office. But as I'd been there plenty of times to discuss new potions experiment ideas I'd had, that was out of the question- the furniture in his office was arranged slightly differently, and the only Dark Arts books he had were potions related.

I froze suddenly as I heard voices outside my room, and I felt fear well up in me as I recognized one of the speakers- Lucius Malfoy. I had been captured by Death Eaters then. He was speaking to someone whose voice I did not know- but his identity was irrelevant. What mattered was his message- one that chilled me to the core.

"Yes, Lucius, I'm sure… Yes, old Mad-Eye Moody is dead…"

For a moment, my heart stopped. Alasator, gone? He had been my best friend and mentor, one of the few people I could really talk to… What was I going to do without him? I shook my head to clear these thoughts from my mind as I heard the footsteps retreating- they were gone for now, but they would be back, and Alasator wouldn't have wanted me to die. I could mourn his passing properly later- for now I had to escape.

I tried to sit up, in order to get a better look around, but that thought was quickly dashed from my head, as it appeared that I was tied up, as well as gagged, albeit loosely. I patted my jeans pocket- the Death Eaters had taken my primary wand- but apparently they hadn't expected me to carry a second one around, as the wand I kept stitched inside my sleeve, invisible, remained untouched. I concentrated as hard as I could and, using as little power as possible, as not to drastically weaken myself so soon into my escape, pulled out the last vestiges of the wandless power I had available to me and accio'd my second wand in to my hand.

Feeling much more secure now that I had proper means of defense, I used the cutting curse to loose my bonds. Or, at least, I attempted to. As I said, the gag was tied loosely- but not, apparently, loose enough. My words had been muffled as I spoke them, and the spell had gone wrong. A gaping hole opened in the ground, and I didn't have time to scream before it pulled me down into its seemingly infinite depths.

This was NOT good. I was lost, cold, alone, inside a forest in the middle of who-knows-where, and my phoenix medallion, which I used to contact the Order when I was in trouble, was malfunctioning.

It was the last reason, most likely, that caused me the most apprehension. Albus, Fillius and I, the best charms students Hogwarts had ever seen, apart from Lily Evans, had spent months perfecting the enchantments we had placed on the amulets, and they had been tested time and again- Remus had gotten out of a tight spot with Bellatrix Lestrange, now in Azkaban, because he had been able to call Severus, Sirius, and Minerva to his aid. If they were not working now… I couldn't bear the thought of what that meant. Countless scenarios raced through my mind, each more horrific than the last. If this was all another of Voldemort's tricks…

I took a deep breath and composed myself- this was what I was born to do, working against all odds, fighting for my life, despite whatever seemingly insurmountable odds I was presented with. I could do this- I had to do this- the fate of the world depended on it. Too many Order members were dying- Tonks, Moody, Bill and Charlie Weasley… And for every member that was lost, the chances for victory for the Light side dwindled. Voldemort knew this; that was why he was trying to pick them off, one by one… I had to stay calm; I was, in all honesty, one of the best- the Order couldn't afford to lose me.

I stood slowly and cautiously, looking around myself, suspicious of everything that moved. The wind rustled through the trees, and I turned; a frog in a nearby pond croaked, and I jumped, fully ready to curse it in to oblivion. It was one of my most valuable qualities- I was careful, constantly vigilant, but not the point of paranoia, as Alasator had been. I was always ready with a hex at my lips, I never hesitated in a duel, but I could also discern the difference between a potential threat and a mere passerby.

As such, it was a sign of how anxious I was that I was being so jumpy and careless with my spells. I had to be more careful- lives depended on it- but it seemed that no matter how many times I impressed this onto myself, I was unable to get a grip on my emotions, most specifically my fear of the unknown.

Don't get me wrong, most of the time I'm a pretty difficult person to frighten away. But getting sidewalk blown up in your face, wakening to find yourself bound and gagged, and mispronouncing a spell and getting yourself dropped- quite literally- into an unknown universe was more than enough to make anyone a little antsy.

I sighed and closed my eyes, trying to get a grip on myself, and suddenly I saw Severus' face in my mind. He was smirking at me, lecturing me with his gaze- telling me how weak I was, how easily frightened, how he hadn't a clue how someone like me had gotten into the Order in the first place…

I felt rage boiling within me, and not at Severus, even though I knew that I had mentally conjured what would have been, most likely, and accurate representation of the Potions Master, had he been able to see me now. I was angry at myself, because I knew he was right. Severus had spent the time from when he was sixteen to somewhere in his mid-twenties dodging the Dark Lord himself, lying to the mans' face, all for the sake of the Order- and if he had ever been frightened (I would like to interject here that I am quite certain that he was), he had never shown it. And after Voldemort had returned a mere eight and a half (had it really only been that long?) years ago, he had become the double-agent again, risking his life constantly for the sake of others, without a word of complaint. I allowed a sliver of amusement to penetrate my angry countenance- everyone portrayed Severus as being so evil, when he was in fact, by all accounts, a philanthropist. My amusement broke out into a full-blown grin as I imagined the look on Severus' face if he could have heard my thoughts these last few moments. My expression becomes somber once more, however, as I realize that this is impossible- had Severus been able to read my thoughts, he would have sent members of the Order after me immediately.

This train of thought is useless- how am I supposed to get back to Headquarters when I'm just standing here, jumping at everything and getting angry with myself? Okay, Auror training tactics… When in an unknown environment, search for friendly or familiar faces. Well, I wasn't likely to find any friendly, nonetheless familiar, faces in the middle of some random forest, now was I? The three main rules for getting out of messes: One, don't get into trouble in the first place. Well, a lot of good that did me, I was already in quite a bit of trouble, if I said so myself. Two, send one member of your team out to scout and set a time for them to come back, don't let anyone else get separated. If the scouter doesn't return at or before the designated time, send out another. Well that would have helped, except for the tiny detail that I was alone. Finally, rule three, if you've been stupid enough to get yourself into a life-threatening mess without backup (as the late Alasator Moody so kindly put it), get out of it as soon as you can, any way you can, even if it means breaking laws, because you can bet that your opponents won't stick to strictly legal courses of action. That didn't help me much, either- I wasn't up against an actual opponent, my spell had backfired and landed me who knows where! I sighed. Oh, Alasator, I thought sadly, reminiscing about my old friend, What would you say if you could see me like this? Graduated from the Academy when I was only twelve, and yet you still said I was your best student… What would you do if you saw me freezing up in such an elementary situation?

In reality, of course, there had been no reason for me to ever imagine something like this would happen- who expects the killing curse to blow up the sidewalk in front of them on their way home? But Alasator's policy had always been constant vigilance… Admittedly there wasn't much cause to pay attention while walking a pathway home in broad daylight to a normal person, but I, as a member of the Order, was hardly normal. I should have listened, paid more attention… I looked down and closed my eyes in shame. I'm sorry, Alasator, I whispered mentally. You trusted me, trained me… I was the best of the best, and I've failed you…

And there was Severus again, his smirk even more prominent now. So, he seemed to say, you've given up, have you? On your very first mission for the Order, and you've already screwed up… Alasator was foolish to place his trust in you.

My eyes snapped open, and I stared straight ahead and stared walking, determined to make my way out of the forest. Not yet, I thought fiercely. I haven't failed you yet, Alasator. I won't give up, not as long as there's still hope.

Five hours later, however, I wasn't so sure there really was hope left for my survival. I had eaten a meager dinner of a small hunk of bread and a drink of water when I had stopped for a short rest under a tree an hour or so ago, afraid to squander my rations, and I seemed no nearer to finding my way out than I had been when I had started looking… But I wouldn't give up, I couldn't. As long as there was breath in my body, I would fight on- for the fate of the wizarding world, for all my friends… And for the memory of Alasator. I paused a moment and screwed my face up in an attempt to stop the flow of tears that threatened to leak out- I could remember Alasator's past easily, but whenever I thought of his passing, it was if the dam I had built around my emotions was threatening to burst… I took a deep breath and continued on, brushing an unruly tear from the corner of my eye. I would continue on, for my mentor's sake. I knew it was what he would have wanted… And so I trekked on.

My perseverance was soon rewarded- I could see light coming from ahead. Hope filling me, I ran towards it with the last of the strength I possessed, willing it to not be a hallucination. I ran and ran, but the light never got any closer… I was beginning to become disheartened once again, when the light seemed to halt, and began rushing towards me… My heart leapt, and I halted in my steps, simply allowing it to come… The light completely obscured my vision, blinding me, and I knew no more.

I blinked and slowly opened my eyes, afraid of what I would see. And really, who could blame me? The last time I had awakened, I had been gagged and bound to a piece of furniture that could hardly be called a bed… But no, I was in the hospital wing, Albus and Severus slumbering softly in two chairs they had brought up beside me. I sat up slowly, trying my utmost not to wake them, but my efforts were in vain. I winced as the bed emitted a sharp creak, and the two were up in an instant, inquiring as to my health. I told them I was fine, and asked how I had come to be here. They said that they had seen my hand on the Order's clock move to Mortal Peril, and that I had been unconscious, a block of concrete beside my head, when they had found me, and that everyone was amazed I didn't have a concussion. I stared at them, at a loss for words. Had everything I had gone through been a dream? I froze suddenly as a thought struck me. If it had all been a dream, then maybe, just maybe…

"All right, all right, I'm coming, Potter, don't look at me like that, of course I want to see her, I just can't walk as fast as you three, I'm not exactly young anymore…"

I leapt to my feet, despite the loud and adamant protests of Madame Pomfrey, Severus, and Albus, and ran to the door that lead out of the hospital wing, throwing my arms around Alasator and finally allowing all the tears I had repressed to flow freely. Alasator, looking thoroughly surprised and confused, returned my embrace, while Severus tried to gently pry me from his arms and get me back into a hospital bed, as Poppy was yelling at Albus for allowing me to leave the ward in my 'condition'. I dried the last of my tears and protested that I was fine, but Poppy wasn't having any of it- she declared that I was to stay in bed until Monday morning at the earliest, and I wasn't foolish enough to protest.

Ah, well. A magical nurse with OCD when it comes to her patients- I wonder if that's a good enough excuse for not completing my reading log?

Well, what do you think? Like? Not? Please comment, I really want to know what you thought of this one! Just one last thought before I go though, I wanted to mention something I noticed after the first half page or so- Is it just me, or does my voice go way out there after the first few paragraphs? I mean, I'm sitting there, happy as a clam (how anyone can judge the emotions of a clam I leave for you to ponder for all eternity, cuz I haven't got a clue), acting like my normal, crazy self, and then I go into total writing mode. Yea, I have a writing mode, I just don't normally use it for DEAR logs because it's not… Well, crazy enough. But that quiz we had was in my writing mode, and this is also (for the most part) in my writing mode… Just a random thought I had, any comments? Anyways, I'm gonna go finish writing this now… It was probably stupid of me to break off my train of thought, because I'm still writing the part about Sev reading my mind and I'll probably forget what I was gonna write next, but whatever, I had to write this! Ah well, toodles!

Heh, just finished… The voice changed again at the end, didn't it? Ah well, I like the ending… Bye bye!
Wendi

Added A/N for readers: Do you like? I WILL continue this… Eventually. Please review!