Chapter Four: Pimpcanes and the Little Mermaid
Lucius Malfoy was a dashing, sexy man. To Narcissa. But to the rest of the world, he was a jerk, a bastard, a non-flamboyant metrosexual. His immaculate hair was pulled back into a ponytail as usual. The clip holding it was adorned with My Little Pony's. And being a wizard, he charmed them to laugh and giggle and sometimes they would frolic on his shoulders. And give him advice.
Narcissa wanted a divorce.
Lucius arrived at Hogwarts promptly after he had received his son's letter. He wanted to make sure that Pansy Parkinson would end her friendship with the Weasley brat as soon as possible. Sure, he wanted revenge on Mr. Parkinson... but he also wanted the Parkinsons' money. And to have that, he would need Draco and Pansy to at least know each other so someday Draco would ask Pansy's hand in marriage and he'd be rich! Even richer than he was at that moment.
He entered Hogwarts and groaned at the sight of all the happy children laughing and running about. He thrust his cane out at one of them and they tripped. "Oops!" he looked guilty. The little child glared with tears in his eyes.
"You're a mean, evil man!" the child stood up and kicked at Lucius's cane.
"Hey! That's a one of a kind pimpcane! I got this on Ebay..." he mumbled to himself and glared at the boy. The boy glared back and ran off to find his friends.
Arriving at the Slytherin Common Rooms, Lucius muttered the password as it was always the same: "Purebloods Rock!".
He breathed in the musty air... ah, to be back in the dungeons once again!
Rain Dazzle and Mist Happy began to choke, "Ew," Butter Sparkles claimed, "This place doesn't have proper air circulation." While Botox Princess shivered, "This place is fr-freezing."
"Oh stuff it you bunch of no-good..." Lucius was cut off by the stares of several Slytherin males. The females however thought it cute and were asking him how he had charmed the My Little Pony's to talk like that.
He ignored them and made his way to his son's dormitory.
Ah, to be in the dungeon dormitories once again!
"This place is so green it makes me want to puke!" Fire Burns cried out. Minty Bubbles took offense to this as she was a hue of mint green. They began to bitch slap each other. Lucius rolled his eyes.
"Draco my son, I have arrived to help you with this... Weasley problem of yours," he began.
Draco was talking to the mice that were eating his chocolates. They were singing as they did so, "Draconius, Draconius, ... Write a letter, to your father, and hurry! hurry! hurry!" They were off key and couldn't remember the song very well... but Draco didn't care as he had a lack of experience in Disney Movies.
"How did you get here so fast?" Draco asked.
"I went over the river and through the woods," Lucius replied as if it was obvious.
"To Grandmother's house we go!" Cherry Seed and Yodel Blossom broke into song.
Draco looked horrified, "Father?"
"Don't ask," Lucius commanded. Draco shrugged.
"So what's the plan to get rid of Ginny Weasley?"
Lucius cackled and broke into maniacal laughter, "I'm not sure yet."
Ginny sat idly by the lake, staring at the giant squid.
Suddenly she was pushed into the said lake and realized she couldn't swim! She gargled and passed out, and drifted to the sandy bottoms. But just then a little mermaid was swimming by and caught sight of Ginny's red hair.
"Oh! I have red hair too! I will help her!" so she did. She called in dolphin speak to the Giant Squid, "Fernando!" He came willingly. With his help, Ginny was set to shore. The Little Mermaid gave her mouth to mouth recesitation and she was good as new!
Ginny awoke. She was confused... she must have fallen asleep. Her dream had been awfully weird too.
Catching sight of The Giant Squid, Ginny waved. The Giant Squid waved back and Ginny thought she saw some sort of fish flopping around behind him, trying to gain her attention... but she shrugged it off.
Why was she wet?
"So plan A didn't work," Lucius muttered to Draco once they were back in his dormitory.
"Then what will?" Draco asked, annoyed, "Honestly Father, how many people have you killed?"
Lucius turned to glare at him, all the My Little Pony's followed suit, "Hey! I didn't know that what's-her-face would be there to rescue her! And I also didn't plan for Fernando to suddenly be the rescue squid!" Joyous Flame shook her hoof at him.
Draco turned back to the singing mice. "Yo-ho! Yo-ho! A micey life for me!"
"I'll think of something tomorrow," Lucius said. Music suddenly flowed from the ceiling, light filled the room, making him look like a god, and his hair broke free of the hair tie and was rippling in the sudden arrival of wind, the My Little Pony's shreiked as they flew back against the wall, "I'll think of it all tomorrow... at Malfoy Manor. Because Tomorrow is another day!" His southern accent came through and poof! he morphed into Scarlett O'Hara.
"Hey! Where's my father?" Draco demanded, standing up and facing the woman whose skirts didn't even fit in the room.
She was looking around in amazement, "Where am I?"
Draco was defeated as he shrugged in response.
"Ashley? Is that you?"
Draco's eyebrows rose.
Lucius Malfoy was a dashing, sexy man. To Narcissa. But to the rest of the world, he was a jerk, a bastard, a non-flamboyant metrosexual. His immaculate hair was pulled back into a ponytail as usual. The clip holding it was adorned with My Little Pony's. And being a wizard, he charmed them to laugh and giggle and sometimes they would frolic on his shoulders. And give him advice.
Narcissa wanted a divorce.
Lucius arrived at Hogwarts promptly after he had received his son's letter. He wanted to make sure that Pansy Parkinson would end her friendship with the Weasley brat as soon as possible. Sure, he wanted revenge on Mr. Parkinson... but he also wanted the Parkinsons' money. And to have that, he would need Draco and Pansy to at least know each other so someday Draco would ask Pansy's hand in marriage and he'd be rich! Even richer than he was at that moment.
He entered Hogwarts and groaned at the sight of all the happy children laughing and running about. He thrust his cane out at one of them and they tripped. "Oops!" he looked guilty. The little child glared with tears in his eyes.
"You're a mean, evil man!" the child stood up and kicked at Lucius's cane.
"Hey! That's a one of a kind pimpcane! I got this on Ebay..." he mumbled to himself and glared at the boy. The boy glared back and ran off to find his friends.
Arriving at the Slytherin Common Rooms, Lucius muttered the password as it was always the same: "Purebloods Rock!".
He breathed in the musty air... ah, to be back in the dungeons once again!
Rain Dazzle and Mist Happy began to choke, "Ew," Butter Sparkles claimed, "This place doesn't have proper air circulation." While Botox Princess shivered, "This place is fr-freezing."
"Oh stuff it you bunch of no-good..." Lucius was cut off by the stares of several Slytherin males. The females however thought it cute and were asking him how he had charmed the My Little Pony's to talk like that.
He ignored them and made his way to his son's dormitory.
Ah, to be in the dungeon dormitories once again!
"This place is so green it makes me want to puke!" Fire Burns cried out. Minty Bubbles took offense to this as she was a hue of mint green. They began to bitch slap each other. Lucius rolled his eyes.
"Draco my son, I have arrived to help you with this... Weasley problem of yours," he began.
Draco was talking to the mice that were eating his chocolates. They were singing as they did so, "Draconius, Draconius, ... Write a letter, to your father, and hurry! hurry! hurry!" They were off key and couldn't remember the song very well... but Draco didn't care as he had a lack of experience in Disney Movies.
"How did you get here so fast?" Draco asked.
"I went over the river and through the woods," Lucius replied as if it was obvious.
"To Grandmother's house we go!" Cherry Seed and Yodel Blossom broke into song.
Draco looked horrified, "Father?"
"Don't ask," Lucius commanded. Draco shrugged.
"So what's the plan to get rid of Ginny Weasley?"
Lucius cackled and broke into maniacal laughter, "I'm not sure yet."
Ginny sat idly by the lake, staring at the giant squid.
Suddenly she was pushed into the said lake and realized she couldn't swim! She gargled and passed out, and drifted to the sandy bottoms. But just then a little mermaid was swimming by and caught sight of Ginny's red hair.
"Oh! I have red hair too! I will help her!" so she did. She called in dolphin speak to the Giant Squid, "Fernando!" He came willingly. With his help, Ginny was set to shore. The Little Mermaid gave her mouth to mouth recesitation and she was good as new!
Ginny awoke. She was confused... she must have fallen asleep. Her dream had been awfully weird too.
Catching sight of The Giant Squid, Ginny waved. The Giant Squid waved back and Ginny thought she saw some sort of fish flopping around behind him, trying to gain her attention... but she shrugged it off.
Why was she wet?
"So plan A didn't work," Lucius muttered to Draco once they were back in his dormitory.
"Then what will?" Draco asked, annoyed, "Honestly Father, how many people have you killed?"
Lucius turned to glare at him, all the My Little Pony's followed suit, "Hey! I didn't know that what's-her-face would be there to rescue her! And I also didn't plan for Fernando to suddenly be the rescue squid!" Joyous Flame shook her hoof at him.
Draco turned back to the singing mice. "Yo-ho! Yo-ho! A micey life for me!"
"I'll think of something tomorrow," Lucius said. Music suddenly flowed from the ceiling, light filled the room, making him look like a god, and his hair broke free of the hair tie and was rippling in the sudden arrival of wind, the My Little Pony's shreiked as they flew back against the wall, "I'll think of it all tomorrow... at Malfoy Manor. Because Tomorrow is another day!" His southern accent came through and poof! he morphed into Scarlett O'Hara.
"Hey! Where's my father?" Draco demanded, standing up and facing the woman whose skirts didn't even fit in the room.
She was looking around in amazement, "Where am I?"
Draco was defeated as he shrugged in response.
"Ashley? Is that you?"
Draco's eyebrows rose.