Chapter Five: Snape Gets a Haircut and Mistaken Identities

After Draco had helped his 'father' charm off his huge skirt and petticoats, he led 'him' to the Common Room to find Pansy Parkinson. Draco spotted her sitting in a corner reading a romance novel. The cover read, "Midnight Passion Among the Algae by Sappy the Sea Monkey". There was a picture of a fish tank underneath it covered in algae.

"Hey!..." Pansy trailed off at the sight of Scarlett, "Who's this?" She looked offended.

Draco slouched, "My father in the form of a woman. It just happened, okay?" He replied to Pansy's look of confusion.

Suddenly, a small voice sounded from behind him, "Oooh, this guy has a nice ass!" Draco turned to see a small rubber pony with a rainbow plastered on its butt. Draco glared at it menacingly. The other ponies blanched.

"Why, this place is... rather cold..." Scarlett shivered and crossed her arms.

"Anyway," Draco continued, turning around to face Pansy again, "I need some of your clothes..."

Pansy shook her head, "I'm not letting her borrow my clothes! I'll go steal Millie's."

Scarlett perked up, "Melly!? She's here? But... she died! How could it be...?" She had tears in her eyes and obviously wasn't listening as she rushed to Pansy who was walking towards the Girls' Dormitories. "Bring me to Melly! I must see her!"

"Millie?" Pansy asked, "You know her?" Scarlett nodded in earnest and Pansy shrugged.

When they were gone, Draco slumped into a chair and sighed. How had this mess started? He needed to see Professor Snape. He would know what to do and if he didn't know... he'd gulp have to see Professor Dumbledore.

His father was some woman named Scarlett O'hara. Who was she?

On the other side of the castle, Ginny was once again helping Luna to make Ron fall madly in love with her. Luna, that is.

"I can't believe you're friends with Pansy Parkinson Ginny! That's like the snorckackels becoming friends with whoosawhatsits," Luna said with a grin. Her hair had dreadlocks and was slowly resembling a thorn bush.

"Right..." Ginny trailed off, still in awe of Luna's hair, "Listen, we need to form a plan. I think you need to first become friends with Ron before you ask him to Hogsmeade."

Luna's grin dropped, "But we are friends, aren't we?"

Ginny shook her head, "No, you aren't. So you should be... casual when you are with him. Just ask him how his day went. Or compliment him on his Quidditch skills!"

"But that would be lying Ginny," Luna shook her head solemnly.

"What would?" Ginny asked.

She sighed, "Telling him he's good at Quidditch."

Ginny rolled her eyes, "Oh please, a little white lie now and then never hurts. Besides, it'll get you a date to Hogsmeade!"

"But it would be a BIG lie. And if I'm going to be dating Ronald, I don't want to lie to him," Luna looked at Ginny for advice.

"So... don't compliment him on his Quidditch skills then! Simple as that!" Ginny paused, "Look! There he is, go for it." She pushed Luna off in the direction of the Library where she had seen Ron heading towards. Luna looked hesitant but went in anyway.

"What are you doing?" a voice asked behind her, making Ginny jump. She turned to see Hermione looking at her accusingly.

Ginny started to stutter, "N-nothing! Just h-having fun with Luna!" She nodded to reassure herself.

Hermione groaned and waved goodbye to her before heading towards... the Library! Ginny gasped and hurried after her.

Severus Snape hated it when his mother came into town. He had visited her the night before in Hogsmeade and regretted it instantly. She had taken one look at his hair and charmed it all off. Well, most of it anyway. It was short now. Short and greasy. Making him look like some sort of... suave womanizer. Damn. He hated it when he looked good.

He was walking down the hallway to see about ordering a wig until his hair grew back when somebody tapped him on the shoulder. Snape turned around to see a gorgeous woman admiring him.

"Rhett?" she cooed, "My, do you look different!" She was actually flirting with him? Wait. Had she called him Rhett?

"Excuse me... but," Snape was cut off.

"Oh Rhett! I know you hate me, but I've changed! I don't love Ashley anymore! He loves Melly, who is still dead by the way and... and... OH RHETT! Forgive me..." she burst into tears and threw herself at him.

He tried to push her away but she clung onto him like a magnet. Stupid hair cut.

"Father! Get away from him!" Draco sneered, looking disgusted as he tried to pull the woman off of Snape. Snape couldn't help but thank the heavens that his student had come to the rescue. Wait again! Father?

"Father?" Snape asked Draco.

Draco finally pulled the woman off of him and sighed, "Yes, this is Father. He suddenly morphed into whoever this is and I was hoping you'd know why..."

Snape backed away as the woman looked ready to burst into tears again, "Why was your father visiting in the first place?"

"To kill... oh never mind," Draco pushed the woman on the floor as she was getting ready to cling to him as well.

"Ashley! How rude!" Scarlett pulled herself up again and marched off.

Draco groaned, "Here we go again..."

Scarlett sobbed as she wandered down the hallway. Little did she notice that a redheaded girl was running towards her.

"Excuse me," the girl muttered before rushing into the room ahead of them.

"Wait!" Scarlett called. The girl turned around, clearly in a hurry and getting annoyed.

Ginny took in the girl in front of her and noticed that she was wearing Slytherin robes. But she didn't recognize her at all... "Who are you?"

"Scarlett O'hara," the woman answered, "I was hoping to find someone who could help me out of here. You see, I was on my way to Tara when suddenly I appeared here."

Ginny, having read every classic Muggle American book in existance suddenly became very hyper and excited. "OhmyGod!!! You're SCARLETT O'HARA! But how is this possible?" She stopped to ponder but gave up, "Yes! This is soooo cool!"

"What's so cool?" Harry asked, having just entered the Library to meet up with Ron and Hermione.

Ginny, taking one look at Harry suddenly remembered why she was in the Library and hurried off to find Luna. Harry was left with the woman Ginny had been gushing over and awkwardly introduced himself. She giggled when he held out his hand for her to shake. Harry blushed and excused himself.

"Forget Ashley AND Rhett..." Scarlett thought as she watched the boy named Harry walk away.