Chapter Five

-Over the Week-

These past few days have been absolute torture.

Pavarti is still stark raving mad at Serena, who's been blissfully happy with Draco, and finds it convenient to tell me all about the dates they go on, chipping my heart even more. A verbal fight broke out at the great hall during lunch yesterday.

FLASHBACK

"You are a man stealing bitch!" Pavarti threw her napkin down on the table and stormed toward the Slytherin table. I could only thank Merlin that Draco wasn't there to see this pathetic display.

"I didn't steal him! He was never even yours!" Serena shouted at her for the first time, probably fed up by now. To tell you the truth, I had never heard her shout before.

It was actually quite frightening.

"You might as well have!"

"You know what? I'm not gonna argue about this. I am so not going to argue about my boyfriend with you! Just freaking get another fuckbuddy and get out of my face!"

Everyone gasped. I was beyond gasping. My jaw was on the floor.

Pavarti just stared at her with a stony expression on her face.

Serena looked just as shocked at herself as everyone else. "Pavarti, I'm sorry, I wasn't-"

Before she could continue, Pavarti fled out the door.

FLASHBACK END

Well, after that, both of them came to me. At different times of course.

First, Pavarti came to me crying her eyes out, saying things like, "What a total bitch! I hate her! She should just die! Can you believe she said that to me?"

I had no choice but to nod, hug her, and hand her tissues while she poured her heart out.

I mean, I knew she was sad, but to go this far? It's undignified! It's a guy!

Men.

Later, Serena came to cry a little, but not as much, thank God, and say, "I know what I said was harsh, but she was yelling at me in front of everyone. What was I supposed to do?"

And again, all I could do was nod.

Now, today, I had to plan the Yule Ball with Draco alone in the library where I will probably barely have the heart to look at him.

I really hate hormones.

"So, what I'm thinking is…" I wasn't really paying attention to him. I knew as head girl, I needed to know all the plans, but I couldn't help but wallow in my self pity, which was a very un- Hermione kind of thing to do.

Then, I saw something on his wrist when his arm shifted the sleeve.

I grabbed his arm and pulled the sleeve down to his elbows. Revealing several scars.

I froze. He froze. I could feel the tension rising.

"Draco, what is this?"

He looked down at his lap for a second, with his arm still grasped firmly in my hand, then around the room, then back at me.

"Not here. Come on."

-Head Common Room-

"I know what you're thinking, Hermione. But you're wrong. I don't cut myself."

I felt only slightly relieved. Slightly. "Well then what happened?"

He looked at his hands. After a very long pause, he whispered quietly, "My father."

At that, my eyebrows shot up.

"I've never told anyone this, but… he hurts me and my mother. Badly. I have new scars every week."

"B- but," I stuttered unintelligently. "That one weekend, I- I saw you without a sh- shirt." I gulped.

"I had already healed them. He does them telepathically. It's a curse he did on me in the beginning of the summer. It's to make sure I never disobey him."

A tear fell from his eye, which he quickly wiped away.

By now, I had already shed a few tears as well. I put my hand on his shoulder. "Why don't you cry?"

He laughed half- heartedly. "Malfoys don't cry."

A couple more tears fell from my eyes. "Do you like being a Malfoy?"

He looked at me with those eyes. Those blue eyes, now shining with unshed sadness, and I could only see despair.

I pulled him into a hug.

At first, I guess he was surprised. But after a second, he returned it fully. And I could feel wet drops on my back. I let him cry freely.

The next couple of days, we talked more and more. My heart went out to him. Here was a man who grew up surrounded by only hate, knowing nothing of parental care or unconditional love. He let go of all tender feelings when he was seven when his mother was ordered to never hold him again.

After that one night, he never cried in front of me again. He was raised to be like that. That was his only moment of weakness.

So I cried for him. I wanted to cry even more when he told me about how Serena was one of the only good things that ever happened to him. He also told me about how she made him so happy and how she made him forget about his horrible father and ugly scars.

I wanted to cry then, but I knew that those were the parts when I was expected to smile.

-December-

"Hey Hermione. Are you okay? You look a tad bit down." I was at the great hall for breakfast, sitting in my usual seat in between Harry and Ron.

"I'm fine, Harry. Just tired, that's all." I smiled at him brightly to clear his suspicions. I didn't want him to worry about me, but at the same time I was grateful that he noticed.

No one else did. I was happy for that, yet miserable as well.

I seemed to have so many friends, like Harry, Ron, Serena, Draco, Pavarti, all the other girls in Gryffindor, but no one seems to ever notice me. Why is that?

I walked slowly into potions class, where I was dreading Snape and Serena, who would undoubtedly tell me about her date.

"Oh my gosh, Hermione, guess what Draco did for me on our date!"

Here we go.

After class, I ran straight to the library. The whole time, Serena had been talking about him. I couldn't take it anymore. I needed to escape. I had to plan the Yule Ball anyway, which was merely a week away.

Once I was there, a wave of relief swept me. Safe at last.

That is, until I saw Ron come toward me of course.

I forced another smile and walked over to where he was waving. "Hermione," he started immediately. "I don't have a date for the Yule Ball. Do you?" I shook my head slowly, feeling a déjà vu coming on.

"I thought you had Luna to go with."

"She can't She went back home to visit her suck aunt or something so she'll be missing the ball."

"Well, we should go together then. To spare the embarrassment of going alone. What do you say?" He looked at me expectantly, as if he was waiting for me to get mad at him or something.

It was working. I already felt anger boiling up inside me. Just like in 4th year, he was using me as a last resort!

Instead of furiously yelling at him like I would normally would, I sighed dejectedly, much to his surprise. "Ron, I'd really rather go stag this year. I'm sure you'll find a date in time."

He was silent. Then, "What happened to you, Hermione?"

I looked at him while he continued. "Lately, you've been all… I don't know, quiet. Inspirited. Defeated or something. I've been worried about you."

I smiled at him, all anger forgotten. "Ron, you don't have to worry about me. I've just been going through a slight funk. But honestly, I'll bounce back. Do you know who you're talking to?"

He still looked unconvinced, but said, "Well, I hope so, 'Mione. I still wish you'd talk to me more, though." He stood up, pecked me on the forehead in a brotherly manner, and walked out.

I sighed once more and sank into my chair, letting another tear fall into my lap.

-Day Before the Ball-

The girl dormitories were in utter turmoil. Serena was there as well, invited by the Gryffindor girls besides Pavarti, who had quite taken to her since the past months.

So, inevitably, Pavarti and Serena had another showdown.

"You're not in Gryffindor. Why are you here, Zhei?" she asked coolly.

Serena barely flinched. A few days ago, she had decided not to try to patch things up as if she was begging to be forgiven.

"I was invited. Got a problem?" she shot right back.

"Oh no, no. Why would I? I'm just saying, once a Slytherin, always a Slytherin."

Serena narrowed her eyes dangerously. "Well, that's funny, seeing as how you fell for a Slytherin."

"If you mean Draco Malfoy, I am so completely over that bleached furred ferret."

"I'm so sure." She turned back to us. "You know, on second thought, I'm going to get back to the Slytherin dormitories. I'll see you all later."

All was silent as she gracefully walked toward the portrait, her chin up determined.

A few seconds later, the room erupted with noise again. My conscience would not leave me alone, so I went out to follow her.

"Serena?" I knew she wouldn't really go to the Slytherin girl dormitories. She hated Pansy and those others just like everyone else.

I looked in the library and sure enough, there she was, head in a book, but not really reading.

"Serena?" I called to her tentatively. "Are you alright?"

She looked at me with tear filled eyes and a small smile. "Yeah. I just have to clear my head a little. You should go back and enjoy yourself with the others."

I had to grin at her self- righteousness. She really was like a Gryffindor, so proud.

"Well, am I your friend or what?" I joked as I took the seat next to her.

"Only the best one I have at the moment." I waved it off. "No really. I mean, you're the only one I could talk to about my problems with Pavarti, my dates with Draco, everything. You really are a great friend."

I felt a lurch of guilt. I was always thinking about how horrible it was listening to her talk about Draco, when here she is, admitting that I'm the only one there is to tell. And saying I'm a great friend.

Great friend, my ass.

Well, from now on, I will be. My stupid little infatuation with Draco will not ruin this friendship. No way.

Well, I only have one choice then.

I have to get over him.