-Pre Yule Ball-
One hour. We have one hour until the Yule Ball.
You thought the girl's dormitories were chaotic yesterday? Compared to today, yesterday was nothing.
This time, even Pavarti couldn't keep Serena away from here. She was the one doing my hair into curls. I was supposed to open the first dance with Draco, and she, being an innocent and trusting soul, completely didn't mind.
"Oh my gosh, Hermione, you are going to look so awesome once your hair and makeup is done." She put a mirror in front of me. My usually unruly hair had calmed down into soft ringlets.
In danger of being vain, I had to say I looked pretty damn good. And that was before the makeup.
"Hermione, can you help me find my shoes? Come into my room with me, please?" Before I could respond, Pavarti grabbed my arm and dragged me off to her room with her.
"Whoa, Pavarti, what's the rush?" I asked her once I recovered. "Well, let's find those shoes."
"I didn't really need you to help me find shoes. But I need to talk to you. You're the only one I can talk to." Tears were already forming in her eyes.
"Pavarti, what's wrong?" I asked as gently as possible.
"Hermione, I'm still not over him." I thought my eyes would pop out of their sockets. "I know I don't act like it, but I still like him, Hermione, I really do."
Well, I was speechless.
"Are you serious?" She nodded miserably. "Well, it's just an infatuation, isn't it?"
"No! It's much more then that! I mean, I feel like I really know him, you know? Ever since last year when his father got sent to Azkaban, he's like a totally different person!"
That was true. But seriously, she didn't know him that well. So how does she like him that much?
She continued. "He's so nice now, but he doesn't even give me a glance now that he has Serena. But everyone is like totally on her side. What would you do?"
Well, I'm sorta in her situation. So… "Well, I wouldn't know your situation, Pavarti." BULLSHIT!
"I know. Well, I have to be strong today," she said all melodramatically. Which I thought was totally unnecessary, since it was somewhat pathetic.
I gave her a small smile anyway. "That's the attitude."
"Thanks for listening, Hermione. Promise you won't tell?"
"Of course. I wouldn't do that," I answered her numbly.
She took her shoes and we walked back to where everyone else was.
"Come on, Hermione. You're starting off the first dance! You have to look really great!" A few of the girls pushed me into a chair and started working.
A few minutes later, I was finished. I slowly lifted my eyes to the mirror, afraid of what I would see.
To my happy surprise, I didn't look so bad. In fact, I don't think I ever looked better in my life.
Everyone beamed at me. I looked over at Serena who was so happy for me, and I knew that it was going to be a long night.
-At the Ball-
I walked into the ballroom. Even though I was one of the people who decorated it, it still took my breath away.
The ceiling showed the scenery of a starry night with a crescent moon, contrasting with the floating candles along the wall.
I was wearing a black satin floor length gown, one strap, my face decorated with silver eye shadow and a clear lip gloss.
From my right, Draco took my arm and whispered out of the corner of his mouth, "Ready for this?"
We walked out to the dance floor. "Ready as I'll ever be. You?"
From behind us, Dumbledore's voice rang out. "And to start off our dance…"
"I'm nervous as hell."
"…is our very own…"
"Me too."
"…head boy and girl."
"We hide it well."
The soft music started as I took his hand. We began dancing.
The whole time, I was happy and nervous at the same time. I looked up at his face, only to find that he was staring at me. I heated up and looked down again.
He really was the perfect guy. Smart, funny, sweet, nice (now), even rich. But he was Serena's. My friend's boyfriend. So close yet as far away as imaginably possible.
We kept dancing. Soon, my head was on his chest and everyone was dancing so we just blended in.
As soon as the song ended, we let go of each other.
"Well, thanks," I said, feeling the blush on my cheeks.
"No problem. Hey, remember to save a dance for me again later on." He smiled at me.
"Of course. Now get back to your date." As much as I hated to say that, I had to. I couldn't let myself fall for him any longer. It completely wouldn't work out.
But did that really mean I had to push him away?
He laughed good- naturedly and replied, "Good idea. See you later."
He walked off, making me feel very left out in the dust.
Soon after, Harry walked up to me and put out his hand. "Dance, fair lady?"
I smiled at this. "Naturally, good sir." We walked out to the dance floor, and he put his arms around me.
"I know you liked him, Hermione," he whispered after a while, almost inaudibly into my ear, catching me completely off guard.
"What are you talking about, Harry?" I whispered back to him nervously.
He chuckled. "'Mione, 'Mione, 'Mione. You may have fooled everyone, but you know you can't fool your best friend, namely me."
I paused for a second. "What exactly do you know?"
He chuckled again, but then got serious. "I know it breaks your heart whenever he talks about Serena." He twirled me.
"I know you try not to stare at him during classes and mealtimes." I gulped.
"I also know that you're trying to be a good friend and not get more involved then you already are." I bit back my tears.
The song ended. "I don't know what you're talking about, Harry." I think a tear just fell. Damn me.
He looked at me solemnly. "I'm sorry, Hermione. But listen," he tilted my head up. "You don't have to always think about other people. Sometimes, it's okay to be a little selfish."
I managed a weak smile. "Not in this case, Harry. I don't think I'm allowed to be selfish at the moment."
I subtly headed toward the doors of the ballroom. It was no use. I had to run. If I didn't want to degrade myself by letting everyone see my cry, I had to run.
As soon as I got out of there, I full on sprinted toward the lake. One place I was guaranteed to be alone.
-Hogwarts Lake-
As much as I hated myself for it, I was crying over him. I was completely acting like Pavarti, crying my eyes out for some man.
I kept repeating Harry's words over and over again in my mind.
"You may have fooled everyone…"
"…Breaks your heart…"
"…You try not to stare at him during classes and mealtimes…"
"…Trying to be a good friend…"
"It's okay to be a little selfish sometimes."
And then I thought about what I said back to him.
"Not in this case."
Why wasn't it okay? I mean, Serena is my friend and all, but what if this wasn't just some little hormonal driven infatuation like I once thought it was? What if it was something real? The basis definitely wasn't like Pavarti's. And the absolute worst part was: I could never even get a chance.
So I would probably never know what would have happened if I did decide to be a little selfish and step up. Because I would never be able to gather that courage.
So much for being a Gryffindor.
"Hermione!" I heard a voice behind. It was Draco. I quickly wiped away all of my tears, even though it probably wouldn't help a thing, seeing as my face was a dead giveaway that I had been crying.
"Hey, are you okay?" I refused to look at him. It would be beyond humiliating if he knew the truth.
I gathered up my voice to answer him. "Of course. I just needed some air. No worries. Go back to the dance, okay?"
"Are you sure? Because, for a second back there, I thought you had been crying." Thank Merlin it was night time.
I faked a laugh. "Why would I cry?"
"I don't know. I thought that Potter had something to do with it, so I asked him, but he didn't say anything." I need to remember to thank him.
"Well, I'm okay." An awkward silence.
"Will you look at me?" I slowly tilted my head up to meet his eyes.
Huge mistake.
First of all, I always go crazy for those eyes. Second of all, he got a good look at my face.
"You have been crying." Damn him.
"It was nothing. So we can drop it now." He kept staring at me. I stared back.
Next thing I knew we were both leaning into each other and our lips met for the second time. It was a repeat of the Gryffindor common room party. His hands were running through my hair and I was clinging on to his shoulders from the back.
I opened my eyes and realized what I was doing. I was kissing my friend's boyfriend!
I pulled away abruptly. "I- I am so sorry." I took a step backwards.
"Hermione-" He took a step forwards, toward me.
"No, no. You- you just- you just go back to your date, okay?" I felt another surge of tears threatening to fall.
"Wait-" He again started toward me, but I already fled toward the school, heading up to my room.
Once I got there, I threw myself onto my bed and just let the night's events overtake me.
What have I done?