Chapter 7

-Next Day-

Thank Merlin he didn't try to wake me up from when he got back last night. Right when I heard the common room portrait door open, I jumped into my bed and pretended to sleep. I just couldn't face him. I'm a coward, I know.

What the bloody hell was I thinking? I knew he was taken. I knew I shouldn't have leaned in.

WHAT THE BLOODY HELL WAS WRONG WITH ME?

I thought I was supposed to get over him! I said so to myself right before the ball! Well, what happened?

I wish I never danced with Harry. I wish I didn't run out to the lake. I wish that stupid gut didn't follow me.

This is the part where I'm supposed to say I wish I didn't kiss him, but that would be lying. I really liked it.

But that doesn't mean that I don't regret it.

But that doesn't mean that I would have taken it back.

I am such a bad person.

This morning, I made sure to get up extra early so I wouldn't have to run into him. I was successful. At 5: 45 in the morning, I was up and about, heading down to the kitchens to get an early breakfast.

After eating, I had basically nothing to do. So I went out to Hogwarts Lake again. This time, I was going to run as soon as anyone calls my name out.

I sat down and let my eyes rest on the sunrise. It was barely 6: 30. Maybe

5: 45 was too a bit too early? Well, at least I could use the time to sort out my thoughts.

Really, what possessed me to kiss him last night? I mean, I knew it was wrong of me. What would Serena do if she found out? She said I was the best friend she had at the moment.

Well, I sure as hellwasn't going to keep that title if I kept this up.

On top of that, I probably totally and completely demolished the friendship Draco and I had built up over the months. What was wrong with me?

What also tanks is the fact that he doesn't even like me in that way. He has a girlfriend, for God's sake. And she was my friend. What was I to do now?

As I was staring off into nothing, someone sat down by me.

I didn't look at the person. I didn't have to. There was only one other person I knew that would be up this early on a Saturday.

"Hello, Harry."

He smiled. "Good morning." It was? "How are you feeling?"

I didn't smile back. "Pretty dreadful at the moment." I looked at him and broke into a playful grin. "And it's all your fault."

He feigned a taken aback expression. "Me? How could it have been me?"

I laughed lightly.

"But seriously, Hermione. What happened?"

I told him the whole story. Even though we hadn't been that close this year, deep down, he was still my best friend who wouldn't tell a soul my secrets. Or else he wouldn't have seen through my cheerful facade and saw how much I had been hurting.

At the end of the story, we both stayed silent.

Then, "What are you going to do?"

"I really don't know, Harry. I really don't know."

-Sunday-

I had still managed to avoid Draco. But sooner or later, he's gonna find me, and I'll be forced to talk to him. I'm not thick, I know that.

But I pick later.

-Monday-

Potions class.

I had been dreading it ever since the weekend. Ever since I realized that I would have to sit next to and work with the person whose boyfriend I had kissed without their knowing of the whole situation. How will my conscience survive?

Or worse, what if she does know?

What if Draco had told her? I can just imagine it now.

"What did you run out for, Draco?" Serena would ask.

"Oh, not much. Except for wiping the slobber off my lips when Hermione kissed me."

"What? That whore kissed you?"

He would laugh lightly, like it was some funny joke.

"Don't worry, sweet. That meant nothing to me. I love you, remember?" He would pull her close to him and they would start in on a passionate embrace.

"Hermione? Hermione!" I snapped out of my little day- mare by Ron's voice. "Come on, we need to go to Potions!"

I gulped.

Maybe I could tell Madame Pomfrey that I don't feel well…

-Potions Class-

"Hey Hermione." I was so nervous I was barely able to talk back to her.

"Hello, Serena." I hope that sounded convincing. But my voice was a little shaky. She looked at me oddly.

"Anything wrong?" I inwardly sighed with relief. She didn't know. Draco didn't tell her.

At the thought of Draco, my head turned toward his table. He looked as great as ever. I wondered if he was in as much disarray as I was.

He looked up. I quickly pretended to scan the room, embarrassed to be caught staring. He probably knew that I was looking though. He knew me too much to not know.

I turned my attention back to Serena. "Nothing. Nothing's wrong at all."

After class, I saw Draco coming toward me, probably to talk. Needless to say, I fell into a state of panic.

I grabbed my books without putting them into my backpack first and practically sprinted out of the dungeons.

On my way out, I heard the voice of Blaise Zambini, presumably Draco's best Slytherin friend, say, "Looks like someone doesn't wanna talk to you, mate."

-Head Common Room-

Thank God that classes were over for the day. I was about keel over from exhaustion and stress.

But what could I do here? I mean, it wasn't like I could have privacy here. I shared the room with the man I was trying to avoid, for Merlin's sake!

Could I move into the Gryffindor girl dormitories for a while? I'm sure they wouldn't mind. But then again, that seems a bit much, doesn't it?

I heard the portrait door open from the other room. Forget a bit much. My world was in utter turmoil at the moment!

I looked around for a possible escape. The balcony. I ran out to it and shut the door behind me.

Immediately, I felt better. Still nervous, mind you, but better. Draco almost never went out here. And he didn't know that I went into the room yet.

So I was safe for the time being.

Here was another chance to sort out my thoughts. I seem to have been doing that a lot lately.

Why exactly am I avoiding him? Well, that's a stupid question. I kissed him. More importantly, I kissed him while he was still with my friend.

And what would I say if I did talk to him anyway? That it was a total mistake and I would appreciate it of we could still be friends?

Huh. That's actually not such a bad idea.

Bugger! I hear the door handle start to jiggle. What the hell? He never comes out here! Damn it. What was I going to do?

I looked up. There was a little handle hold I could grab onto to get on the roof. Was that a little drastic?

The door was unlocked. Who cares about drastic? I was going up there.

Right as I got my whole body up, the door flew wide open.

"Damn door. Always trouble," I heard him mutter. Despite myself, I had the undeniable urge to giggle. I held it in, thankfully.

He sighed and walked toward the ledge. For a while, he just looked at the scenery, most likely thinking. His face kept showing different emotions, first sad, then confused, then indifferent, then happy, then back to confused.

Then, unexpectedly, he got very frustrated and kicked the chair next to him. I jumped from where I was sitting.

"Damn!" he said aloud. He stood out there for another twenty minutes or so. Ashamed as I am to admit it, I never got tired of looking at him. His face features were sharpened by the setting sun, his hair a little messy from the day's events and how he kept pulling at them out of frustration.

I felt like crying when I thought about his lips, and how they were on mine just a few days ago.

I felt like crying even more when I thought about how they were probably constantly, frequently, on Serena's.

Pretty soon, after one last look at nature's display, he walked back inside. I let out a breath of relief. Finally.

I jumped down to the solid ground, making sure to be quiet. I lost my balance. I closed my eyes, preparing for a painful fall.

Before this could happen, I was caught by a pair of strong arms.

"Found you, Hermione."

"Damn it."