It was the End of Term.

The end of seven long and often excruciating years for Severus Snape; graduation was nigh and his life had already been irrevocably ruined by his need to please Dumbledore.

Seven long years.

There had been Martis; at least for a blessed while. Severus had and still believed himself unworthy of such beauty; such goodness.He also knew that he would never have such a good friend ever again. But his luck being out like it nearly always was; she was gone.

Then there was Lily, and for a briefer time, James. Friends? Perhaps not. Allies, maybe; sharers in the same joint destiny for a brief while; then they were gone. He would graduate from Hogwarts in the same state he began - despondent and alone.

It surprised his more than anything when he had heard Asenath had returned to school, but he was beyond reaching out to her now. Even if her parents had not promised to kill him should he even look upon her again, there was no way he'd try; he was too far gone. Too far gone from kindness, love, and sympathy of any kind. If she knew what he had become - for the Greater Good, of all things - she would reject him, anyway.

Best to let her live quietly.

Safely.

Dhir Prakash would be coming to the school during the summer; by the time all the other teachers had left for their vacations, there would be only himself, Dr. Prakash, and Dumbledore in the Castle.

Father.

Their meetings over the past month had dwindled down to formal reports and cool exchanges of greetings - in private. In public, it had degenerated into a snarl from himself and a puzzled glanced from Dumbledore and nothing more. It hurt Sev ... but it would also hurt more if Dumbledore found out what had really happened at those horrifying meetings with Voldemort.

Being pulled from duty. Being useless. Allowing others to die in his place because they could never fulfill the plans the Dark Lord had in mind.

At least there could be some sort of ... Redemption ... if he could continue his work.

So, for now - and possibly until he was killed by either a Dementor's Kiss or the Dark Lord himself - Sev kept his counsel and remained silent on his own inner terrors.

-

Asphora LaChance cocked her head of silvery-white puff hair and knotted her brows over her intense blue eyes. She folded her hands in her lap, keeping them still.

"And why should he not close off from you, Albus?" she asked in a supernaturally calm voice. "You have sent him into the Dragon's Den several times."

Albus Dumbledore did not look like the Headmaster of the most advanced wizard's school in all of Europe. At the moment, his cap was off and his gnarled hands were pressed against his forehead. "I fear he is slipping from the Light, Asphora."

"If you wish for me to look into his mind, that I cannot do." She inhaled deeply. "He learned my Occlumency lessons well - he is a closed system, and nothing will penetrate him now."

Albus raised his head, his faded blue eyes gazing back at her. "Is he lost, then?"

"I am ... uncertain." She pressed her lips into a frown. "He wants great responsibility and accepts it and carries it through. You - granting him something as dangerous as becoming one of those things - has given him both purpose and resposibility, but he is also fragile enough to fall into the Darkness." She clutched the armrests of her chair. "He would NEVER be ready for something like this, even if you gave him a hundred years! The child is too damaged to do this work you have him do!"

"He accepted it willingly, Healer LaChance."

"And his fear of disappointing you made him accept it!" Asphora stood,her hands clutching the sides of her sky-blue robes. "We had come so far with him - how DARE you throw him to You-Know-Who!"

Albus stood as well. In a calm voice with the slightest sign of tears, he replied, "He is needed in this capacity."

"We can't protect him," she stated quietly as she turned away and studied the spiral staircase leading up to his library. "I certainly cannot protect him should he be found out ... "

"As an Auror, I understand your position," Albus countered just as quietly.

"I am obligated to bring him in right now, since I know what he has joined."

"And we are both trusting you to not do so."

"Why?" Asphora spun around, facing him. "I could turn him in and have him rehabilitated in St. Mungo's within ten years since this will be caught early enough to - "

Albus shook his head. "And have him live in what sort of world, Asphora?" He moved around his desk and stroked Fawkes' head. "Severus has to be needed, has to feel useful. His sense of duty is the only thing he has to offer the world; without it, he will surely attempt to kill himself again."

"And yet the lure of Darkness swallows up those like him and turns them into monsters," she retorted. "How long will his duty be able to battle that lure?"

"That is my greatest fear." He lowered his face and clsoed his eyes. "I can only hope, if he returns, that he could forgive me."

Asphora LaChance felt her lip curl up into a snarl as she pointedly Looked at him in a way that would have turned trolls into mice.

-

Severus drew the black hood over his head and entered the inner chamber of his Dark Master. Prostrating himself properly on the cold, wet stone floor (something he was told his sire had never done properly), he waited for the Dark Lord to acknowledge his presence.

"Rise, Snape," Voldemort intoned softly. "And remove the hood; covering such beauty is a crime."

He was ... almost used to the way he was addressed. It was becoming more bearable than being raped, either mentally or physically.

"I do as you will, Dread Lord," Severus murmured, as he slowly stood upright and pushed back his hood. "What is your bidding?"

"It is time for you to perform your First Task as a Death Eater," the Dark Lord stated, a hint of a smirk in his raspy voice. "I want you to kill Sartoris."

"The Potions Master of Hogwarts, my Lord?"

"The same." Voldemort glowered. "He has become ... sloppy ... in his old age. He has permitted himself to be caught by Dumbledore and has been implicated too many times in disasters involving you at that cesspit of a school. I blame that filthy habit of his."

"I agree, my Lord," Severus sneered. "His cocaine consumption has made him slovenly in his tasks as the Watcher."

"And you have advanced far beyond him already, young Snape," the Dark Lord chuckled. "With the help of Prakash, you will become even greater ... that is why I have no more use for Sartoris." His yellowed fangs glistened in the torchlight of the chamber. "You will take the place you were born for, Severus Snape."

Severus' ebony wand appeared, raised before his face. "I shall not disappoint you, my Lord."

"Snape ... "

Severus lowered the wand.

"Nothing as obvious as the Unforgivable. Use what you know, what you were taught and born to do. Something that will leave Sartoris' reputation tarnished forever in that pitiful school - and will shock Dumbledore."

"Yes, my Lord."

"Make sure you are not seen, nor allow the breath of scandal to touch upon yourself. I may need you later in the same position, and it will not do to have you die in Azkaban before your talent has been used."

"I understand, my Lord."

Severus bowed and left the chamber, forcing the contents of his stomach to remain in place until he could go back to school.

-

In the Dreamlands, Albus walked along the shore of the Ocean of Highest Hopes and Fears, forcing his eyes to the sand at his feet and the froth of the waves hitting the land. If he looked across the water, he knew he would see the verification of his worries.

"Walking alone again, Albus?" a familiar voice chuckled.

The Headmaster glanced up to his side, seeing his old friend Merlin walking in step with him. "You do know what weighs upon my heart, friend."

"I am surprised at you for having such little faith."

"There is a difference between faith and trust."

The ancient wizard nodded. "He can be trusted. The boy is now a man, a man with a purpose. Your faith in his ability to stick to it and not abandon it in his distress is what you fear."

"Yes."

"He keeps much from you, Albus."

"But why?"

"He is a receptacle of Secrets. Both yours and Voldemort's. The only way to get any of it out is to crack his head open. Otherwise, he'll keep it all to himself to his grave."

"That may be the case, old friend." Albus locked his hands together behind his back as he walked on. "This boy - this man - is my true son. I've known it since he arrived in my school seven years ago. I cannot bear to do this to him."

"Ah, but it is necessary, for the Good of Life."

"To destroy his?"

"And to save the lives of millions; it is painful, but extremely necessary." Merlin paused, placing his hands on Dumbledore's shoulders. "Albus, he will return to you. Damaged, yes; broken, yes; bitter and pathetic - but the portents of the future say it will be all worth it: to you, to the world, and especially to him."

Albus swallowed, turning his back to the ocean, and walked up to the Plains of the Cat Kingdom. "Thank you, Merlin."

The ancient wizard waved at the retreating form of Albus Dumbledore. "May the Old Ones protect you both."

-

Of course Gryffindor won the House Cup. And Sirius Black had to make sure Severus got one final prank for old time's sake and had managed to set up a batch of invisible marbles to be released as soon as Severus entered the Great Hall and land flat on his face in front of the entire school.

Everyone had little time to react with a giggle when Severus turned out, slipped his wand down his sleeve, and yelled "Accio-Sirius Black!"

Sirius was bodily pulled off his bench by magic and slammed face first into the floor as well. He pushed himself up and held his nose.

"Just like old times, Mr. Slick, when it was us against you and Snake-Bitch."

Severus carefully pulled himself up by gripping the end of Ravenclaw's table. "Hardly fair, Black, considering it's just myself."

"Yeah, well, the mighty Marauders aren't as whole as they used to be." Sirius tried pulling himself up with the help of Hufflepuff's table but slipped on his own invisible marbles. "I blame you for this, of course."

"Why not? You blame everything else on me, you miserable sot."

"Was your own fault, trying to expel us and almost getting killed as a result. Too bad Moony never got to." Sirius sneered. "Of course, you probably would have given him a stomach-ache with all that grease."

Severus stood upright and pointed his wand back down in Sirius' face. "Last I recall, this is the End-of-Term Feast - meaning we graduate this cess-pool tomorrow as well as be considered fully-fledged adult wizards."

"So you can't do anything to me yet, Snivellus."

Severus flicked his wand, causing Sirius Black's uniform to explode into bright pink feathers. "Nothing was said about your uniform." He slipped his wand back inside his sleeve and turned his back to the Gryffindor. "Incidentally, Black, you are fortunate I have mellowed this last few years ... if Martis were indeed still here, you would find yourself at the end of a particularly nasty but brilliant prank that would make the Debate Society Incident your fondest memory."

Feeling the intent, he raised his hand behind his head and caught the invisible marbles launched at his skull. He dropped them, hearing them tinkle as they bounced to the floor. "Really, Black, the real world will eat you alive if you continue on this track of juvenile stupidity."

Black sat speechless on the floor, staring after the dark figure of Severus Snape practically swooping down the aisle to his seat at Slytherin table.

-

Albus Dumbledore looked up as the teenager-turned-young-man materialized in his office.

"Severus - "

Snape placed his finger to his lips, indicating quiet. "I don't want you to say anything, Dumbledore. This is hard enough. Things will happen quickly and there is no way I'll be able to stop it."

"Severus - "

"I said shut up! Don't get in the way of this. Just do your normal duties as Headmaster and I'll get you all your information. The Dark Lord wants me to perform my First Task and as long as I do it, I'll be to the right of him ever after." Severus inhaled deeply. "I will give you every grain of information I can find, I promise you that."

Albus nodded, getting up and opening his arms slightly. Severus turned away. "If I accept, I know I'll lose my nerve."

"Severus, I recant, you don't - "

The teenager turned and his wand appeared in his hand, the tip pointing between Albus' eyes. "I must. Trust me to not fail you. If I am pulled from this, I swear to all the Gods Below I will end my life and I will finally succeed at it."

Albus lowered his arms. "I am so sorry, my Son ... "

Severus' lip curled and he left, making sure Albus never saw the tears filling his eyes.

-

The Graduation Ceremony passed quickly the next morning, and students boarded the train to return to London and their families for the summer.

On the Hogwarts Express, Lily Evans and James Potter shared a compartment with the rest of the Marauders.

"Lily and I are going into the Ministry of Law Enforcement," James was saying. "Being an Auror sounds like good work these days."

Lily nodded. "Considering some of the things we've been through ... "

Sirius smirked. "So, when do we expect the wedding?"

Remus Lupin looked up. "Give them a little time, Sirius!"

"At least long enough for me to propose," James chuckled. "Speaking of which - "

He got down on the floor of the compartment and stood on one knee, facing Lily. "I was going to wait until we were back in London, but since the guys are being pains, I may as well - " James clasped her hands in his. "Lily Evans, will you marry me?"

The compartment filled with silence; even Peter Pettigrew stopped fiddling with his package of Ice Mice long enough to hear her response.

Turning as red as her hair, Lily answered, "I thought you'd never ask, James Potter. I accept your proposal."

James exhaled loudly, then was caught in a tight kiss from his fiancee. Remus and Sirius grinned at each other, and Peter squeaked in surprise.

"Come on, guys," Sirius said. "Let's leave the lovebirds alone for a bit and go bother somebody."

The three left the compartment and Remus stated, "If you're looking for Snape, he's not on the train."

"Did somebody dump his body off before we got a chance?" Peter giggled.

Sirius shook his head. "Shut your cakehole, Wormtail. No, I was thinking of finding dates for Prongs' wedding."

Sirius began humming Wagner's 'Wedding March' loudly as he made his way down the train car.

Remus rolled his eyes. "Nothing but a neverending party, that one."

Peter sneered playfully. "It is a party, Moony. Come on, we're all legal and stuff, let's have some fun."

Remus was pulled along in the tide, wondering what the future held after the party was over.

-

Severus had not left Slytherin Tower since the graduation ceremony.

He began packing away the things that would not be appropriate for a Death Eater. He packed away his school albums, his uniforms, his House scarf and tie ...

He paused as he held one of the albums; it was bright orange with gold and red spirals all over it, making it without a doubt one of the two cheeriest things he owned. He wondered why he kept it after all these years, especially since the person who had made it was gone from his life and probably all the much happier for it.

Don't open it.

His long fingers trembled as he flipped the cover open.

Don't read anything.

'To my darling Snips,

happy 16th birthday.

Love,

Spirals'

Don't look at anything.

His eyes rested on the first picture ... him at fourteen and her at twelve, both of them bouncing on the couch in the common room, laughing hysterically.

He slammed the album shut, violently throwing it into his trunk.

I'm so sorry for failing you, Martis.

He clenched his teeth and turned his attention back to packing his things away. He did not even pause to remember the Potters as he wadded up the red Yule sweater and threw it in the trunk as well.

That was his past, and there was no going back. They were gone, all of them. It was himself, alone against terrors only he could face.

The knock at the door did not even make him jump from his skin. "Severus?" the House Mother's voice said. "Will you be well over the summer by yourself?"

"I will be well, Miss Price," he answered darkly. "Best go along with Professor Penderdandis."

She raised her hand slightly and he turned to her. "Miss Price ... go on."

Rowena Price nodded, her indigo skirts being the last of her to leave the dorm room.

Severus inhaled deeply, then retrieved a vial of silver liquid from his nightstand and tucked it into his sleeve before he finally locked his trunk.

Time to visit with Sartoris.

-

Sejanus Sartoris, Potions Master of Hogwarts and Watcher for the Dark Lord, called, "Enter!"

Severus opened the door to the office. "You asked to see me, sir?"

"Yes, come in, Master Snape." Sartoris grinned. "This is going to be a wonderful summer for us, Severus. The Dark Lord has told me that you are now among our number, and that you will be my assistant in our work for him. When Dr. Prakash visits, he'll be rounding out your studies. I must say, Severus, you are a wondrous prodigy in our work." He leaned back in his desk chair. "I have some wine reserved for this ocassion for your graduation and acceptance into the fold. If you'd like the honors, why don't you pour for us and we'll toast your success."

"Very well, sir."

"Sejanus now, son. We are equals."

Severus shook his head as he made his way to the alchemy table where the wine bottle and glasses stood. Placing his back to him, he wriggled his wrist and the vial head popped out. Uncorking the wine, he said, "Sejanus-sir, if you don't mind, I'm afraid I can't imbibe much - "

"I know, Severus. Everyone is still talking about that rip you went on back when you were a Fourth-Year. Still haven't figured out how you filled the Great Hall with lime gelatin."

"To be honest, sir, I can't figure it out, either." He poured the wine, allowing the contents of the vial to fall in with the alcohol of one glass. "But I have abandoned such childish pranks."

"About time; we were a little worried when that Vox girl was at your back all the time, but it worked out well in the end."

"Must not allow such trivialities to upset our work," Severus answered automatically as he pushed the vial back under his sleeve with his wrist and poured his own glass. He delicately raised the glasses and handed one to Sartoris. "You have the honors, Sejanus-sir."

Sartoris accepted his glass and raised it up to his former student. "To Severus Snape, quickly becoming a Potions Master in his own right."

Severus raised his glass toward his former teacher. "To Sejanus Sartoris, may his retirement be peaceful."

Sartoris raised an eyebrow. "You can't upsurp me that soon, Severus."

The teenager smirked. "I meant it as a compliment, considering our work, sir."

"Yes, a peaceful retirement is quite desirable in that respect."

Severus sipped his wine as Sartoris inhaled his. "Wonderful bouquet on this bottle, Severus. To appreciate wine properly, you have to absorb its essence." He sipped, allowing the liquid to play across his tongue, the swallowed. "A little too cold, but that's the problem with having toasts in the dungeons. My apologies for the taste being slightly off."

Severus said nothing, watching Sartoris finish the glass before getting halfway through his.

"I'm afraid that's all for me, Sejanus-sir," Severus stated. "I must put something in my stomach so I won't have another mad prank-dash in the middle of the night."

"Good idea. I'll see you in a few days when Dr. Prakash arrives. Good night."

"Good night, sir."

Severus left the office, slowly walked through the potions lab, and finally closed the door to those rooms behind him in the dungeon hallway.

He fell to his knees, now only becoming aware of how much his legs were shaking. The potion he gave Sartoris was not dangerous itself, but it was meant to interact with chemicals in strong ways.

Time to establish an alibi.

Taking slow breaths, Severus stood up and walked down the corridor toward the Great Hall where the teachers were having dinner.

He knew Dumbledore was looking at him.

He wished he could look back, but he was not sure if he would burst into tears or begin screaming, so he kept his face lowered and covered with his long black hair.

-