Talking Has Never Felt Better
Summary: When Sara tries to get Greg suspended for dawdling on the job; Grissom and Cath find out the truth about why Greg's been as depressed as he has been. A talk with a counsellor goes a long way for Greg, opening doors for him along the way. GregSara at some point.
"So what have you got for me today Sara?" Greg chimed as his 'beloved' entered his place of solitude.
"Blood analysis and I need it in one hour, Greg." There was a slight firmness when she gave him his deadline. He knew that he'd be in trouble if he didn't get it to her on time, so he started it the moment she left the room. 'She can be such a bitch,' he thought as he ran the blood through the DNA amplifier. 'I wish she wouldn't treat me like something off the floor.'
He was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't hear Cath call him, once, twice, maybe three times. "GREG?" she finally shouted right by his ear.
"Damn Cath, burst my eardrum why don't you!" Greg stuck his finger in his ear and wriggled it around, trying to get rid of the ringing sound.
"I wouldn't have had to shout had you not been in la-la land," she said, finding it amusing that Greg wasn't hanging onto her every word.
"What do you want Cath?" Greg sounded irritated and angry, making Cath feel motherly. She put her hand on his shoulder as he sat back in his chair and put his head in his hands.
"Greg, are you Ok?"
"I'm fine Cath. Don't worry about it." His spoken words were barely heard however when Sara came back for her results.
"Greg, do you have my results?"
"No." He avoided her eye as she screamed at him.
"GREG, I TOLD YOU ONE HOUR. NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? MY SUSPECT IS GOING TO BE RELEASED IN TWENTY MINUTES!" She left the DNA lab, steam following her quickly moving form. He knew where she was going; Grissom's office. No doubt he was going to get a two-day suspension for not working, but he didn't care. Anything to keep Sara away from him.
"Same question: are you Ok?" Cath asks again, seeing the tears well up in his eyes and hearing him slam Sara's results that just came out of the printer, down on the table.
"I hate her. She's a bitch. Treats me like dirt. I don't deserve it. What have I ever done to her?" He begins to cry, gently at first, but the sobs soon cause his body to shake. Cath sets them both down on the floor, taking Greg in her arms and rocks him gently.
Grissom chooses that moment to come bursting into the room, shouting "Greg, where are you?" at the top of his lungs; calming down when he sees Greg in Cath's arms. "God." Cath shakes her head, shooing him out of the door silently so Greg can regain control of his emotions.
Twenty minutes later, Grissom returns with three cups of coffee, somehow managing to balance them in his arms. It's not the rubbish work sludge they drink; it's the real stuff from the café down the road. He sits down on the floor next to Greg and Cath, handing them both a cup. After a minute or two of silence, Grissom decides to speak to Greg, not before getting the nod off Cath.
"Greg, tell me what's going on. Please." He adds as an after thought.
"It was two weeks ago. Sara and I had been hanging out for most of the day, watching movies at her place, eating Chinese takeaway, talking; the normal things friends do. Then she makes a move on me. I welcomed it. You guys know how I feel about her." Cath and Grissom nod in understanding before he continues. "Then she pushes me away, screaming at me for kissing her. 'Making a move on her' was her words. I've never felt so humiliated in all my life. I didn't initiate the kiss. She did. And then…I got a call later that day. My Mom and Dad had been killed in a car accident. I cried for hours. Tried phoning Sara; getting lots of abuse in return." Greg stared at his coffee whilst his boss and co-worker took it all in. He'd told them both in five minutes; he'd had to deal with it for two weeks.
"Greg, why didn't you take time off?" Cath asked, Grissom silently agreeing by nodding his head in her direction.
"Didn't want the pity. Plus if I'd sat at home, I'd go stir crazy. Another thing: When I was younger, I suffered from clinical depression. Really bad too. I was scared I'd slip back into it if I sat at home to grieve. Coming into work has helped."
"Ok, I'll let you stay at work if you agree to this; you go see the Crime Lab's counsellor right now…I'll phone ahead. And if you let Cath have a word with Sara," Grissom told him, Cath nodded in response.
Greg nodded slowly, allowing Cath to help him to him feet, his legs having turned to jelly when he was sitting on the floor. He ambled to the lift and went up to the next floor, intending to talk to Dr. Kane, but even before the lift doors close, Sara walks in. She sees Greg and makes to leave the lift, muttering something about forgetting a vital piece of evidence, but the doors close on her.
"Shit!" she curses quietly, but not quiet enough so Greg doesn't hear.
Greg doesn't acknowledge the fact that she's in the small, confined space with him. He looks at the numbers above the door, willing the tears to stop their fresh trails down his cheeks.
The lift ride lasted much longer than Greg hoped. The numbers above the door never seemed to change. He had felt Sara's eyes burning into his back all the way up. As soon as the doors opened, he left, head bowed down and shoulders hunched. He heard Sara go to say something but waved a hand behind him, telling her to leave him alone. "I don't want to speak to you."
Greg stepped into Dr. Kane's office after his secretary told him that Dr. Kane was free for a few hours. He said a solemn 'Hello' to the man before taking a seat that Dr. Kane gestured to. "Mr. Grissom called me…told me to be expecting you."
"Yes." Greg looked nervously around the office, taking in the warm colours and friendly atmosphere. He knew Dr. Kane spoke only to employees and suspects, witnesses, those sorts of people. He also knew that he was very good at his job; Sara being a prime example of that.
She'd been close to breakdown a few times, with Grissom forcing her to speak to Dr. Kane. It had obviously helped her, until that little blow up in Greg's face earlier.
"So you wanted to talk?" Dr. Kane asked.
"Well, I didn't have much choice in coming up here," he replied.
"But you wouldn't have done, had you not wanted to talk."
"I suppose not," Greg agreed. From just seeing Dr. Kane's body posture and tone of voice, Greg knew he'd done the right thing in agreeing to come up here.
"So what would you like to talk about?" Dr. Kane took off his glasses, polished them and replaced them back across his nose. "I'm guessing there's something particular."
"There are a number of things, but yes; it all came to a head a fortnight ago." Greg looked Dr. Kane in the eye, and he nodded.
"So, tell me; what started all this off?" Dr. Kane leant back in his chair and observed Greg over his hands. He knew the young man was troubled, from what Grissom had told him, but Greg looked really upset, depressed, and a few other things that made life that much harder.
"I guess it started with Sara."
"You guess?" Dr. Kane raised his eyebrows in question.
"Ok. I know it started with Sara." Greg looked back to his clasped hands and saw they were shaking. They hadn't done that since the explosion. Dr. Kane must have noticed too.
"This is the Sara who was caught in the explosion with you? Sara Sidle?"
"Yes Dr. Kane. Sara Sidle. My best friend, or so I thought."
"Or so you thought? What made you doubt that? And please, call me Phillip," Dr. Kane told him.
"Ok. Well, I'd been having my doubts for a while. We were growing closer; away from this friendship and into new territory. I've known I was in love with her for quite some time, and she's always seemed to back-pedal against her feelings. I know they're there because two weeks ago she kissed me. It wasn't long before she pulled away and completely humiliated me; making out that it was my fault for her kissing me. Yes, I've wanted a relationship with her for longer than she or anyone else knows, but now; now she's done this, I'm not so sure I can trust her with my feelings."
Phillip stayed silent for a minute, taking in everything Greg had said, putting it into order in his head. His next question startled Greg, "Did it go any further than kissing?"
"What? No, I told you; she'd pulled away before it went any further." Greg was pacing the room now, Phillip's eyes warily following him. He'd expected this reaction from him. Phillip often aggravated his patients, simply because they were more honest when angry, when tense. It called for a closer recovery date. But Phillip also knew when to stop.
"So, these numbers of things…care to elaborate for me."
Greg stopped pacing and stood by a particularly calming picture; it was white with the most beautiful flower Greg had ever seen pressed into the paper. 'That's quite clever' he thought before realising that he'd been asked a question.
"Sorry?"
"The number of things you mentioned, what else is there?"
"That same day I received a phone call. My parents had been killed in a car accident. I hadn't spoken to them for a few months, mainly because of the demands of my job, and the distance between us. I've never really got on with my parents, and until I took this job here in Vegas; we hardly spoke. Then not long after arriving here; we spoke on the phone frequently. Until the explosion that is." Greg peeled his eyes away from the picture and looked at Phillip. He saw pity, remorse and guilt in the older mans eyes; it brought tears to his eyes.
"What did you do as soon as you ended the call?" The pitying looks were once again replaced with his professional, listening face.
"Cried. I don't think I've ever cried so much. It wasn't just because of the fact that I'd lost my parents; it was because part of me had gone with them. What it was, I don't know, but something went with them. Some people may tell you it's my craziness." Greg chuckled lightly, but it quickly dissipated.
"Ok, well Mr. Sanders, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I have an appointment in twenty minutes and I need to get ready. We can talk tomorrow?"
"Yes Phillip. Definitely, thank you. You've helped me a lot already. And please, call me Greg," Greg stood and shook Phillip's hand.
"Well Greg. I'll speak to you tomorrow; just sort it out with Jane at the front desk. And Greg," he said to Greg's retreating back, "Take care of yourself. It might be an idea to go home early. I'm sure Grissom would agree highly."
Greg shut the door behind him. In the hour he'd been in there, a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He actually smiled weakly.
"So Greggo, how did it go with Dr. Kane?" Nick asked when Greg returned to the break room a little lighter than before.
"Fine. Better than fine." He frowned, "Who told you?"
"Grissom. He's warned all of us to go easy on you, though he hasn't told us why so don't go barging out of the room. Just know; we're here for you when you're ready." Nick gave Greg a friendly hug, Warrick doing the same, causing Greg to blush.
"Thanks guys. I will tell you, but not today. I'm going home in a while." Greg sipped his coffee sighed. "So, who's found my coffee?" He knew who it was; Cath.
"We're not grassing on anyone," Warrick said, blushing when Cath walked in the room.
"Hey Greg, sweetie. How'd it go?" Cath said, taking a cup of coffee and sipping. "You know then?"
"Yes Cath, and just be thankful that I'm too tired to torture you. And as for details, ask those two…" he drained his cup "…I'm going home."
"Excellent idea. Go straight ahead, I'll tell Grissom." She walked out of the door with him, and when they were out of earshot of Nick and Warrick; she said, "I spoke to Sara. She's adamant that you initiated the kiss. And she's pretty pissed that you're talking to other people about something that went on between the both of you. I've warned her to go easy though; I don't think she's realised how depressed you're feeling yet."
"Ok Cath. Long shot anyway. I'll see you tonight." Greg solemnly walked into the locker room and hung up his lab coat. When he turned to leave, Sara was standing in the door.
She looked close to boiling point; her face was red with anger and she was shaking. 'Bit of an exaggeration for a kiss, don't you think?' he thought, before striding past her and out the door of the lab. He'd talk to her later, for now; he had to decide what he was going to do with himself.
Three hours later, he'd decided. It was staring him right in the face, and now he knew, he just had to tell Grissom and everyone else. That was going to be hard. He wasn't supposed to go back into work today, but he had to before he lost his nerve.
So here he was, driving along the road adjacent to the lab, getting ready to pull into the car park, when he saw a very angry looking Sara. 'When is she ever happy?' Greg thought silently. She was crouching by her car, obviously trying to change a tyre and having a very hard time of it. 'I'm not going to help her. Just get out of the car and walk directly to the building. Do not pass go, do not collect 200.'
So he did. And as he stepped into the building, the heavens opened and the storm that they were warned about had started.
He walked to Grissom's office where luckily, Cath was seated to. As he stepped in he overheard the last part of the conversation. "I'm suspending Sara," Grissom said to Cath.
"Good. It's about time you sorted something out with her. She's driving me crazy." Cath sat back in the chair she was sitting on and sighed.
That's when Greg spoke up. "Hey guys. Can I talk to you? No, both of you," he added when Cath stood to leave.
"Ok Greg, what's up?"
"I've decided to take a leave of absence," Greg said, taking a seat next to Cath.
"I think that's wise. How long for?" Grissom said, watching as Cath took Greg's hand in her own.
Greg shrugged. "I don't know, but initially, I want to take three months off. I'm going to California, back home to sort things out. My sister is going to help me tie up the legal side of things."
Grissom nodded in understanding. He reached into his desk and pulled out a 'Leave of Absence' form. He handed it to Greg and stood up, shaking the younger man's hand and watched him leave.
"I don't think he's going to come back in three months. It could be longer," Cath said, watching Grissom.
"I know, but if it helps him…" he zoned off. "There will always be a place for him here; either as the head of the DNA lab or as a CSI."
Greg was half-way through his three months stay in California when the doorbell of his sister's flat rang.
"Stacey, can you get that?" he called from the couch. He was really absorbed in the movie that was on and didn't want to miss anything.
"Fine," she said, dropping the knife down and rushing to the door. Greg heard a muffled 'Hello', obviously being his sister. And then a new voice; one he was sure he'd heard before. "Is Greg in?" the voice said.
"Er…yeah…come on in…" the opening of the door "…wait here a minute…" the signalling of his sister from the open hallway door, asking him to come here silently "…don't be too hard on her!" she warned finally before going back to the kitchen.
Greg saw the last person he expected to see standing in Stacey's hallway, but here she was; Sara Sidle.
"Hey Greg," she said, quite nervously.
"Sara," he acknowledged her politely.
"How are you?" she asked, trying to keep her look of irritation mixed with anxiety off her face.
"Fine." Irritation and anger dripped off his words, making her cringe.
"I shouldn't have come," she conceded quietly. Greg nodded in agreement.
"No, you shouldn't have, but you're here now, and Stacey won't let you leave until you've eaten and until she's spoken to you, so you may as well come in." He walked into the living area and gestured for the couch. "Sit. I'll be back in a second." He walked to the kitchen and over to his sister.
"Did you have to let her in?" he hissed in her ear when he was close enough.
"Yes Greggy. You see, for the last six weeks, you've been walking around like a bear with a sore head and to be quite frank; I'm sick of it," she hissed back. "Now, you will talk to her. You will be civil to her, because she's come all this way, and she's obviously making the effort." Stacey pushed him back in the living area and smiled at Sara who was watching.
"Hey Sara; Greg's told me so much about you. You grew up in San Francisco didn't you?" Stacey said, setting food down on the coffee table and smiling a little too sweetly.
"Close enough; Tamales Bay, about an hour and half away from San Francisco," Sara replied, looking over to Greg who was scowling in his seat. "Look, I'm sorry for barging in. I should leave." She stood up and went to move to the door. She distinctly heard Stacey hiss 'Greg'. He grumbled in reply and caught up with Sara outside at the bottom of the path.
"Sara, stay please. As much as it may piss me off you being here and all, but my sister wants to speak to you and to be honest…" he leaned in "…you may want to talk to her. If you don't, I won't here the end of it." Greg turned to walk back to the house and felt a touch on his shoulder. He turned back and saw Sara looking straight at him.
"I really am sorry you know? I wasn't very fair on you."
"Big understatement," Greg mumbled. Sara heard.
"Ok, I was humongously unfair on you." She chuckled lightly, when he nodded in agreement. "Greg, please. All I want to do is speak to you. I've missed you the last six weeks. I just wish I could have taken our last encounter back." She looked close to crying so Greg embraced her gently. He soothed her quietly and saw his sister in the window smiling. He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply.
"Sara, I didn't know what I'd done wrong when you kissed me…" he saw her go to protest "…and you did…" he said silencing her "…and then when you blew up in my face, I don't know; it hurt, it hurt really bad." He looked away from her.
Sara ran her finger down Greg's cheek, causing him to look at her. "I know it's going to take you a while to trust me again, and I know that we may never go back to normal, but I can live and hope. Greg, I really want us to be something more, but if you can't…then I don't know…"
She stopped when she felt Greg's lips on her own. She wanted to pull away, her instincts telling her not to get close, but she went against everything she believed and deepened the kiss. Sara moaned when Greg ran his hand down her back to her waist.
"We probably. Shouldn't do this here. In the middle of the. Street." Sara managed to get out between pants as Greg moved his hands lower and lower, ending up on her ass.
"You're right." He too was panting as he took her by the hand and led her up to the guest bedroom where he was staying.
Greg looked up to the familiar black building were he'd been working three months previous and smiled. 'God, I've missed this,' he thought to himself. He watched as Cath pulled up, getting a hug and a 'welcome back'. Nick, Warrick and Grissom did the same. When Sara pulled up, she smiled brightly, walked over and kissed him desperately, as if she hadn't seen him for weeks. In truth, she hadn't seen him for three, ever since her second visit to Stacey's house.
"I missed you," she said, grinning like an idiot in Greg's opinion.
"I missed you too baby." He took her hand and walked into the building.
Greg and Sara got a series of weird, questioning looks, but overall, everyone was glad to see him back. They got to the locker room and saw Warrick and Nick arguing over last night's football match.
"Nick, it was a perfect kick, why can't you see that?" Warrick was gesturing wildly, not seeing Sara and Greg enter, still hand-in-hand.
"Because it was the worst one I've ever seen and that's saying something," Nick replied, red in the face.
"Er…guys," Sara said, walking over tentatively, taking Greg with her.
"What Sara?" Warrick yelled, quickly calming down when he saw the clasped hands in the middle of Sara and Greg. "What? When did this happen?"
"When I disappeared for a week, when Grissom suspended me for meddling with day shift." She looked down, not waiting to see the shocked look on Greg's face. "I had to Greg. Don't worry. I didn't get into too much trouble. Stupid Ecklie."
An awkward silence filled the room so Greg made an excuse to go talk to Grissom. He walked along the corridor to his office, seeing random people, saying hello, being Greg basically.
He stepped into the office and noticed how much the place hadn't changed. There were still weird and wacky bugs, pig foetuses; all the stuff you got used to seeing in Grissom's office.
"Hey Greg. Welcome back," Grissom said from behind his desk. He was holding a newspaper in one hand and a pen in the other, obviously doing the crossword.
"Thanks Grissom. It's good to be back. Didn't realise till I saw the building, just how much I missed the place." Greg grinned as did Grissom. "And everyone else, of course." He added for good measure.
"So, Greg. I have a proposal for you. You can either return to your previous post as Head of DNA…or…you can have a shot at being a CSI," Grissom said over folded hands, as if he was studying a piece of evidence.
"Griss, if it's all right with you, I might stay as Head of the DNA lab, at least for a while."
Grissom couldn't keep the shocked look off his face. "But I thought you wanted to be a CSI?" he asked.
"I do, but not right now. Thanks anyway. I'm going to get to work." Greg left behind a bemused Grissom. Grissom shook his head in amazement.
"So Sara, what have you got for me today then?" Greg said watching her walk into his lab.
"Blood analysis and I need it in one hour Greg. Give or take a few minutes," she added when she saw the panic-stricken look on his face. "I won't be made at you. But please get it done; my suspect is being released in three hours."
"Plenty of time," he joked earning a kiss on the cheek off Sara.
"Get on with it," she laughed. She watched him work for twenty minutes before going to get coffee for them both.
On her way back, she was cornered by Grissom. "Hey Griss," she said, tiredness showing in her tone of voice.
"You aren't going to scream at Greg today are you?" Grissom asked.
"No. Why does everyone think that I'm going to do that? Nick, Warrick and Cath all stop by every two minutes to make sure I haven't killed him. Honestly Grissom, I'm not going to hurt him." She side-stepped past him back to the lab with the two coffees.
"Here you are baby. One hot chocolate; courtesy of Sara Sidle." She kissed his cheek again as she handed him the coffee.
"I wish you'd stop doing that," Greg whined, taking a sip of the boiling hot liquid.
"Doing what?" she asked.
"Kissing me on the cheek. It's distracting enough you being in the room, letting alone kissing me on the cheek. Plus it exerts friendliness, and we're not exactly friends now are we?" he informed her.
"You have a point. Ok then." She stepped to him and kissed him full on the lips. "Better?"
"Much. Now, you're results. On time." He handed her the readout and yelped when she flung her arms around him. "I take it it's good news?"
"The best. See you after shift sweetie." She kissed him again before leaving, going to look for Brass.
Little did both know, but Grissom had been watching them from the corridor. Grissom gulped. 'No wonder.' It had all clicked. He shook his head in disbelief. He'd have to talk to Cath, and soon.
"Hey Sara, do you want to get some breakfast, or are you going home?" Greg asked, looking down at Sara in his arms.
"Breakfast sounds fabulous, but I'm really tired," Sara said, resting her head on Greg's chest.
"Breakfast in bed it is. My place or yours?" Greg kissed her on top of her head.
"Yours please." Sara allowed Greg to steer her to his car and ride her to his apartment.
"So, what do you want for breakfast?" Greg called to Sara in the living room where she was watching the morning news. He got no reply. "Sara?" he called again. No reply.
He walked into the living room and saw Sara curled up on the sofa fast asleep. Greg watched her sleep for a while before going to make some pancakes, ready for when she woke up.
It was almost two hours before Sara stirred. Greg was sitting next to her and kissed her neck gently. "Hey sweetie," he whispered into her ear.
"Hey," she said, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.
"Did you sleep ok?" he said, rubbing her back as she leant against him.
"Yeah. Thanks for letting me sleep. Although my stomach is rumbling." To that, Greg gestured to the table which had a plate of pancakes, syrup, and a thermos of coffee on. "I knew there was a reason why I loved you."
Greg's jaw dropped in surprise. 'Did she just say what I think she just said?'
'I hope he's ok with me loving him because I really do.'
"You what?" Greg asked, looking deep into her moist eyes for the emotion.
"I love you Greg." She looked down to their clasped hands and squeezed. Greg put his hand on her chin and forced her to look at him.
"I love you too Sara." He kissed her quickly, pulling back and resting his forehead against hers. "So much."
Six months later…
"Well, Greg, what a pleasure seeing you again. How long have you been back in Vegas?" Phillip said to him as Greg sat down in a chair opposite him.
"About six months."
"Really? And how have you been since?" Phillip said, gesturing to Sara sitting next to him. "I take it you two figured things out during that time."
"We sure did," Greg started. He held up their clasped hands and showed Phillip what had made them both so happy. "We eloped."
End