Remus woke up to sunlight streaming over his body and the white sheets and bed. He sighed contentedly and cuddled closer to his white pillow. He froze suddenly as he realized this thing he was curled around was not his white pillow. In fact this thing was more curled around him. This thing was warm and breathing. Remus looked up slowly and was greeted with a shock of thick raven hair, spilling over his neck and chest.
Remus let out a choked gasp and scrambled away from Sirius Black…who was in his bed. Sirius opened one electric blue eye with a small smirk. "Morning."
"Morning!" Remus shrieked. "What the fuck are you doing in my bed?"
"What'd you mean what am I doing in your bed?" Sirius mimicked. "I'm sleeping, bloody hell." He rolled over, jokingly, but Remus was lost on the joke. He whacked Sirius in the head with a pillow as hard as he could.
"Why the hell are you in my bed!" Remus yelled. "What possessed you to crawl in bed with me!"
Sirius growled. "Remus. Fucking relax it's not like we did anything."
"Answer the question!" Remus snarled.
"You were having a bad dream!" Sirius argued. "So I came in, and I just…"
"So you thought it was appropriate to crawl into bed with me?" Remus screamed.
"Well you seemed to like it juts fine!" Sirius yelled back.
"I was asleep, you dumbass!" Remus yelled. "What makes you think you can just crawl in bed with me?"
"Well, I'm sure most people would enjoy waking up with me in their bed!" Sirius snarled. "Besides, the ladies seem to like it well enough."
"SO THAT'S IT, ISN'T IT?" Remus screamed, he curled onto the other side of the bed his back turned from Sirius. "I'm just another ego boost for you, another nameless face you play with huh?"
Sirius started to crawl over, "No! Remus that's not it at all…I just didn't like to hear you upset." He reached out a hand to touch Remus' shoulder, but the smaller man whipped around and yanked the hand away.
"GET AWAY FROM ME!" Remus bellowed. "DID I ASK FOR YOUR COMFORT? DID I FUCKING NEED IT? NO!"
"Don't yell at me!" Sirius screamed back. "What is wrong with you?"
"Get out!" Remus yelled. "I don't need you invading my space and then calling me a freak!"
"No! I'm not getting out until you tell me why the hell you're so upset about this! It's not a big deal!" Sirius finished in a low hiss.
"Because!" Remus insisted his eyes blazing. "This is my space! My personal space, and if I didn't ask you to come in, I don't want you in! I want you OUT!"
"What is your problem?" Sirius screamed, throwing a pillow at Remus' head.
"You! You and your little playboy masquerade!" Remus yelled, throwing another pillow right back.
"Screw you!"
"Screw you more!" Remus screamed.
"Screw you most!"
"Screw you plus two anything you say!"
Sirius threw up his arms in exasperation. "Fine! Fine Remus, just stay in your dark little room!" Sirius turned around and started to leave.
"Just walk out on me like you do everyone else." Remus sneered.
Sirius whirled around suddenly the picked up the lamp and threw it with all his strength at the wall next to Remus. "I DON'T WALK OUT ON PEOPLE!" Sirius screamed.
The lamp shattered on the wall, one piece just barely missing Remus' face. The shade fell with a small thump on the wooden floor. "I'm not walking out," Sirius panted,
The amber eyed man stood there practically frozen with a mix of shock and fear. Remus started to shake, but his eyes remained steady. His amber eyes were swirling and glazed over with tears, and they were lost, completely lost. But the menacing rage there was undeniable. "Then get out."
"Dinner's at eight, come or don't." Sirius said harshly, his voice raw and torn from screaming. He slammed the door to Remus's bedroom, and then slammed the door to the apartment.
Remus didn't move until he heard the ding of the elevator. He walked calmly to the kitchen, got a broom, and went back to his bedroom. He started to sweep up the shards of glass, and he started to sob. He clung tightly to the broom as he swept, but he wouldn't stop. He kept sweeping and sobbing, ignoring any emotions and keeping fixed to his task. But he didn't have enough self control to stop the tears.
In the elevator Sirius slammed his fist against the wooden wall of the box. "DAMN IT!" he yelled, banging his fist into the wall again and again, he switched walls and attacked the other wall violently, until his knuckles were red and throbbing. He stormed out of the apartment and back into his car.
Sirius drove away as fast as he could, knowing full well that no police car would ever stop a Black.
Remus fell into bed and slept off the hurt. When he woke up, all he felt was a fresh wave of frustration with not only Sirius, but with himself. Why am I such a freak? I don't even care about Sirius that much! I hardly know him. The other corner of his mind slithered in. Hardly? You know him better then any human alive…But he doesn't know about you. You freak.
His mind drifted back, years and years ago. As he lay in bed he was reminded of how he would lay in bed when he was a teenager. A scared and lonely teen with nowhere to go. He would curl up with his stuffed animal, that he hid in his bottom draw while his parents would fight.
The fights could go on for hours, but sometimes they only lasted minutes before the violence started. His mother would throw something. His father would hurl something expensive back, glass or a lamp. It usually would miss his mother, but once or twice she got a few cuts.
She'd scream louder. He'd kick holes in the wall because she'd break if he kicked her that hard. When this happened Remus would curl closer to his stuffed animal, knowing what was inevitably coming.
He'd slap her, and then she'd punch him. He would scream louder and throw her in their room and lock the door. He would storm upstairs to Remus's room. And he would quickly hide the stuffed animal in the draw when he heard those heavy footsteps pound up the stairs.
Remus was never sure whether to dread or praise those footsteps. Usually he ended up dreading them, but occasionally he would praise the owner of those large feet silently as if he were a god.
Remus couldn't imagine love without violence. It seemed natural to him back then. And at some point it still did today. So now he lay in bed pondering how similar Sirius and his father were. How they both threw the lamp. How they were both so violent and so passionate, a deadly combination.
Remus fell into another sleep, only this one was completely dreamless. He woke up again, and checked the clock on his phone. It was three. And now the next big question, meet Sirius for dinner or not? I don't want to ever see him again! His logical mind ranted, but the other side of his mind sniggered. Stay in bed and he'll just think you're weak and pitiful. Go out, look sexy, and spite his ass. Remus, against his better logic and his sanity, grinned evilly and took a very long shower.
He took the time to carefully blow dry his wavy locks, they puffed out from his head, in brilliant shades of gold and crimson. He scowled at his hair and had a tv lunch, the news was boring, nothing about Regulus or the Blacks.
At seven he started to slip into his suit, when his eyes fell on the third one Sirius' bought him. He carefully took it out of its plastic wrap. The suit was crushed dark crimson velvet. The shirt had a modest frill at the neck that would be seen through the V neck of the double breasted suit jacket, and just a little frill would drape over his wrists. Remus sniggered. I'll look like a hooker in this…perfect. I'm going to make that stupid bastard so jealous…
The pants turned out to be rather low cut and…tight. But Remus banished his blush and checked the time again. Remus took one last look in the mirror, his hair had settled, but was very…sparkly and just…too sparkly. He looked like a skinny hooker, but that was okay.
Grinning, Remus put on round toed boots with at least one inch of extra height. He slipped the fur coat over his hooker get up and let his door slam. The sound echoed through the hall, but he didn't mind. Usually he hated annoying his neighbors anyway, but tonight he was all rebel attitude and fuck you spirit.
He walked out of the building and caught a taxi. He was ten minutes late by the time he got to Roy's. Usually Remus was never late, but in fuck you spirit he was tonight. He approached the hostess with a very charming smile. "Is Sirius Black here?"
"Oh, of course." She blushed. "Can I take your coat." Remus shrugged off his chat and handed it to her. "Follow me please." He followed her up a flight of stairs in the back of the restaurant and was taken through one main room, but in the very back was a darker area. "May I ask why you're meeting him?"
"Business," Remus said vaguely. All he could see was Sirius Black, arm splayed over the back of his booth, raven hair falling around his face and cold eyes glowing. The area was filled with candles that gave the dinner a romantic overcast. Remus felt anything but romantic. The booth was round and encompassing, save for an opening where Remus slipped in.
"Remus." Sirius said coldly. "I'm surprised you decided to leave your precious bedroom."
"Where's your harem?" Remus sneered.
"Hungry?" Sirius asked.
"Oh very." Remus picked up the menu without looking away from Sirius's eyes.
"May I take your order, sirs?"
"Oh yes." Sirius smirked, his eyes never leaving Remus'. "We'll have that appetizer platter for two."
"Extra hot." Remus growled, Sirius shot him an amused cold smirk.
"Lobster please." Sirius said challengingly.
"And I want the most expensive thing on the menu." Remus growled, still starring at Sirius.
"Champagne?"
"Most expensive bottle you have." Sirius nodded. The waitress left and Sirius leaned closer to Remus. "Looking away in shame yet Remus?"
"Not before you, you bastard!" Remus snarled. "Besides I'm not the one who threw the lamp."
Sirius drew back, still glaring. "You baited me, Remus."
"And you're insane." Remus retorted.
"Or maybe you're the crazy one." Sirius hissed.
"Maybe you are." Remus said equally harshly. "Who threw the lamp?"
Sirius slammed his palms on the table. "You're doing it again, Remus."
Remus' own knuckles were pure white from pressing his fingers into the table so hard. They sat there glaring at each other until the food came. Sirius twirled his fork in his slender fingers, still keeping up the staring contest. The appetizer was set in front of them. "Hungry?"
Sirius stabbed his fork violently into a dumping and ate it whole. Remus sneered and quickly popped some sort of dumpling into his mouth. They continued like this until the last dumpling. Remus stabbed forward, but Sirius was quicker. They starred up at each other at exactly at the same moment. Blue eyes locked onto amber for a moment, and Remus saw a flash of regret, maybe even humor in those blue eyes. "Looks like I'm quicker."
"Quick as a little bunny." Remus growled, leaning back in the booth. "Don't worry, I already knew you were fast though."
Sirius stopped mid bite just to stare.
"What?!" Remus hissed.
Sirius
slowly continued chewing. "Fuck you."
"What did I do now!?" Remus almost yelled. "You can never have enough, can you." It wasn't a question.
"Oh grow up." Sirius retorted. "Do you think I said fuck you because I'm actually angry with you? I said it because you always manage to make me feel like shit!"
"Yeah, well, you should!" Remus snarled. "Look at you, you're just baiting me. You like this don't you?"
"Oh yes, I love arguing with my psychologist!" Sirius' voice dropped to a harsh whisper.
"Why the hell do you always make things more difficult?" Remus accused again.
"Because you are so single minded!" Sirius stood up quickly, slamming his palms into the table again, this time causing the glass to shake.
Remus stood up and slammed the table himself. "Would it kill you to follow the blood rules?! Psychologists and patients don't have dinners together! And they damn well don't sleep together!"
"Fuck you!" Sirius screamed.
"Gladly!" Remus screamed back. Sirius hardly registered the words, he had already swept all the china off the table, and grabbed Remus's jacket collar. The smaller man hardly protested as he was dragged roughly onto the table. Sirius froze for a moment as the situation actually sunk in, but Remus didn't.
He wrapped his arms around Sirius' neck and pressed his lips against Sirius. Dark hair spilled around Remus' shoulders, and Sirius' lips pulled into a little O against Remus' mouth.
In seconds Remus' tongue was in Sirius' mouth and Sirius' tongue was attacking. It was a possessive battle of tongues and teeth. They nipped violently back and forth in the most stunning battle of kisses the staff had ever seen.
"My money's on the blonde."
"Nah, the other' guys got it for sure."
"I think blondie's gonna win."
"But see Mr. Sexy black hair is longer."
"Ah…"
Subconsciously, Sirius had pulled Remus onto his lap and wrapped his arms around Remus's neck. Sirius curled his hands in Remus's hair and yanked, just hard enough for Remus to feel it. Suddenly Remus was pushed unceremoniously onto the booth onto his back with Sirius pressing him down. "Surrender?"
"Bite me." Remus retorted.
"Gladly."
The battle was on again, expect this time on the booth. Sirius was kneeled over Remus, with his hands pressed against either side of Remus's head, while Remus's hands were tightly around Sirius's neck pulling him closer so Remus could have better tongue access.
Remus pulled himself up using Sirius's neck, still kissing passionately. Suddenly Sirius' eyes flew wide open as his knee slipped of the booth. Remus remained oblivious to this and clung tighter to Sirius neck and pulling himself more upright, until Sirius had slid half under the table, and then the taller man fell with a plop onto the ground, followed closely by Remus on top of him.
"Who's the top dog now?" Remus smirked.
"I'm not sure, it's very dark down here." Sirius joked. "And I probably have a concussion."
"Oh shut up." Remus scoffed.
"That suit looks very nice on you." Sirius pushed Remus gently off. He crawled out from under the table, following his psychologist. He helped Remus to his feet and left five hundred pounds on the table. He wrapped an arm around Remus waist and let his hand curl around the amber eyed man's hip bone as they started to walk out of the restaurant, Remus's fur coat all bur forgotten. "Apartment?"
"Mhm…" Remus nodded, snuggling closer to Sirius and draping an arm around his shoulders. "All this yelling got me tired."
Sirius grinned. "Can I sleep in your bed tonight?"
"Yeah, I don't feel like being alone." Remus sighed.
"You know even if you'd said no I'd still crawl in with you."
Remus surprised him then by turned and wrapping both arms around his neck. He stood on his tip toes to reach Sirius ear. "I know…And that's what makes me like you."
"That'll I'll rape you in the middle of the night?"
"No," Remus smiled. "That you care enough to go through all this again tomorrow just so I don't have bad dreams."
Sirius grinned into Remus's ear. "You're the best psychologist I ever had."
"Yeah, I betcha the other ones didn't sleep with you." Remus snorted.
"Well they would've, but I do have standards."
"And do I meet those standards?"
"Baby, you're so far above my standard I can hardly breathe when I see you."
Remus blushed and pushed Sirius away from his ear. "Stop teasing me."
If only I were…Sirius thought with an odd mix of humor and sadness. If only I were…This would be so much easier.
A/N: Muahahahahahah, beware the dysfunction. Again reviewers u rock my socks off! And everyone bow down to my beta megaotaku….you light up my life. LOL, I love saying that!
HI! I'm megaotaku, or Hitome. Wabbitsox's beta. Don't worry, I won't be commenting often. Just wanted to give a little shoutout to everyone out there enjoying this fic as much as I am. I personally loved this chapter, how 'bout you? Oh, and I'm also apologizing. This chapter has been done for a day and a half, but I haven't had a chance to edit it because I had to study for a huge test. So no yelling at wabbitsox!