HIIIIIII WORLD…well I was going to be sick today as I do have a fever, but my crazy parents demand I go to school. This chapter is un betaed (thought I tried to edit my self….) because my beta hasn't e-mailed me back, so here is chapter 8.

I know it's pretty short, but I really like it, so addressing my reviewers.

YOU GUYS ALL ROCK AND I LUV U! And a special note to:

Kiera Le'Stiea-

1. Cool name!

2. no I don't mind if u print my story.

3. YAY! I'm actually good at something!

I need, I feel, a love,
You love to love the fear,
I never want to be alone,
I've forgotten to.

Remus starred blankly out the window, his amber eyes were clouded with remorse and doubt. As the tiny rain drops slithered across the glass of the window, they reminded Remus of little kids. Just a few of them zoomed through a perfect life. While most struggled miserably against the currents holding them away from sucess. And his mind drifted to his own childhood…He shivered.

Whenever Remus thought back to those days he got cold. He wrapped his arms around himself subconsciously, not noticing Sirius' questioning gaze toward him. Remus could only see flying objects, lamps, vases, bottles….shattering, blood spurting, and the shrill screams of a child. Oh wait…that's me…That's how I used to scream. He thought, remarkably detached from his own trauma.

If he wasn't detached from his past then Remus could not function. When he thought about his father and mother he lost contact with reality. He'd learnt years ago that at some point, some trauma's run to deep to be cured. So Remus did what any rebellious teen would. He ignored it. He ignored the trauma, and eventually it became habit for him. He hadn't spoken of his childhood in years…and then he'd only told his best friend, and even James only knew bits and pieces.

Remus looked back up at the grey sky, seeing his mother's eyes, staring down at him. Shuddering Remus forced himself to look back at the window. He looked around in those raindrops until he found himself. He was a tiny little speck of water, struggling violently against all the other drops.

The road keeps moving clouds,
The clouds become unreal,
I guess I'll always be at home,
Do you want me to try,
Directing your night.

He was smarter then any of the other kids of course. But they were normal kids, with normal families. They were regular looking kids without spectacularly colored eyes and what some people would call an addicting personality, because people did become addicted to Remus.

Little water drop Remus, started to slip. It fell closer to the edge of the window, and Remus' eyes filled with tears for himself. The little dot of water struggled violently, but he was going down…not even half way done with his life. He would die, alone, in the rain. The blob slipped off and Remus maintained a level stare at the window, ignoring the pangs in his eyes to cry. Goodbye…

An exit lights the sky,
The sky becomes complete.
Traveling hearts divide the throne,
I've forgotten to.

Sirius' eyes had shifted up to the rearview mirror, his blue eyes filled with worry for his…friend…lover…Categories didn't mater when it came to Remus. All that mattered was him. Remus…why are you starring out the window like that…why are you crying! God…It's like dealing with a rock.

Remus' amber eyes flickered up to meet Sirius'. Neither broke contact for a moment. Finally Remus reached over and switched on the heat. "I'm sorry." He said, his voice casually blank and carefully toneless.

"For what?" Sirius asked, a slight mournful tone in his voice. It was nearly impossible for Sirius to be aloof like Remus, to be blank and toneless. Sirius was passionate, loud, and volatile.

"I keep pushing you away," Remus said, his eyes drifted back out the window again.

Sirius just starred. Remus was smiling, it was mournful, macabre, and cruel….But never the less it was a smile. "What the fuck is wrong with you!"

That got Remus' attention.

"How can you just sit there and stare out the window, smiling! What the hell is so funny Remus! You almost died! YOU WOULD BE DEAD NOW!" Sirius screamed. Remus calmly reached over to turn on the radio, but Sirius' hand latched onto Remus' wrist.

"Sirius…" Remus glanced out Sirius' window nervously. "That car…."

"Fuck it,"

The car started to veer slightly off the road and Remus resisted Sirius' iron grip. "The car!"

"Tell me what's so funny." Sirius sneered.

"We're going to crash!"

"Then we both die in a fiery explosion, but you tell me what's so funny!" Sirius yelled.

"I…" Remus looked away, "I never could….never will….I just….You know when an asteroid hits the earth? Well…Sometimes the scars run to deep to be mended over time…so people ignore the trauma…and move on."

Friction, lines, bumps,
The highway song complete,
The signs are all turning right,
Do you want me to try,
Directing your light,
Want me to try,
Directing your light.

Sirius jerked the steering wheel so the car wasn't veering of the road anymore, never letting go of Remus' wrist. "I was hoping you'd cry or something." Sirius muttered.

"Why?" Remus asked, in the same slightly amused, mournful tone.

"You're scaring me." Sirius said simply. "You're speaking in metaphors about bloody comets and you won't show any emotion."

"I envy you, Sirius."

Sirius scoffed. "Yeah, I wish I was a psychotic maniac too, don't worry."

Remus shut his eyes and smiled. "See…You can always say how you feel…And by the way, a comet is a chunk of ice and rock, an asteroid is mostly made of iron."

"I'm starting to doubt how sane you are Rem." Sirius sighed.

"This isn't going to work." Remus remarked softly.
"What?"

"This relationship…I'm your psychologist!" Remus' voice took on a slight edge of panic.

"Remus…Old men have been trying to change me using fancy words and electric shocks. It hasn't worked so far, so I suggest you try a new method with me." Sirius grinned at him. "Use your imagination."

"Sirius…I can't do it…" Remus sighed. "Look at me, I'm a mess. You…You bring back all these things I thought I'd forgotten."

"Maybe that's a good thing." Sirius remarked.

"How?" Remus sneered.

"How do you draw poison from a wound?"

"You suck it out." Remus said surly.

"Right…" Sirius murmured, nuzzling Remus' cheek with his nose. "If this works out…May I won't be the only one who's better…" Remus's eyes widened and he pushed Sirius' nose away gently, new thoughts swimming through his mind.

…How can this help me! Remus screamed mentally. If anything being with him makes the memories worse! That other corner of his mind slithered in though. And what about when you sleep next to him? You don't have bad dreams…You can finally feel safe. It's a catharsis, it always hurts to have the poison sucked out…especially when it's been there so long. But you decide…Is your pain worth redemption? Remus smiled. Yeah…a little bit of pains worth Sirius.

The purest forms of life,
Our days are never coming back,
The cannons of our time,
Our days are never coming back,
The purest forms of life,
Our days are never coming back,
The cannons of our time,
Our days are never ever coming back.

"Sirius?" Remus asked softly.

"Hm?"

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" Sirius sighed.

"Pushing you away." Remus smiled at him. "But if you give me a big kiss, maybe I'll stop."

Sirius grinned and reached over, plating a chaste kiss on Remus' lips. "Don't want to get us in an accident."

Remus laughed. "Sure…" he snuggled closer to Sirius' seat, and rested his head on Sirius' arm. "Sirius…"

"Yeah?"

"Is this….real?"

"Mhum." Sirius nodded, and stroked Remus' hair gently. The younger man opened one eye to look up at him. "I'm not letting you go…not when I finally have you."

"Sirius you've known me for a month."

"Do you believe in love at first sight?"

"No."

Sirius shook his head. "How about heaven on earth?"

"Siri….This relationship is hardly heaven." Remus said with a wiry smile.

"Yeah….Well, heaven is over rated anyways."

Our days are never coming back,
Our days are never coming back,
Our days are never coming back.