Okay…..
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Disclaimer: I own nothing (sadly!)
SPOILERS: all Seasons (including SEASON 5)
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breaking my own heart
chapter 7
He felt so helpless, knowing that she felt helpless because of him. Just when he was close to put his arms around her, she turned to him.
"Bette and Elle told me to kill you.", she said staring on the steps in front of her.
Grissom grimaced.
"But Tara told me to get the hell out of that room and to find you."
"That's nice…I always knew she had a thing for me."
Sara grinned.
"What?…is this bad for me?"
Sara laughed softly. "Grissom…you are so…"
"…hot?"
Sara's expression said everything. She was shocked but also amused by his comment.
Grissom laughed softly. "Just one question, what is going to happen now?"
"I already told you that I don't know."
Grissom nodded softly and swallowed hard. "Sorry."
"No…I am sorry. But I honestly don't know…I only know that the three of us are colleagues! I know that everything between us will change!…and I am afraid that it will be bad at all!"
"Why?"
"I don't know."
"Do you want to fix things with Nick?"
"No…I bet he don't want to neither."
At least something. He didn't feel relieved, but this was a beginning.
She stared down on her feet. Then she took off her shoes.
"You want me to give you a ride home?"
"I have to find a hotel…I don't think neither Nick nor his parents want to see me on their ranch again."
"You can stay at my room…I mean, just for the case that you don't find…"
That bright smile in her face confused him.
"What?", she asked still smiling.
She must have recognized that confused expression in his face.
"You already regret that offer?"
"No...I…"
She laughed softly, then she stood up. She rearranged her dress and then reached her hand out for his. He took her hand and she helped him back on his feet.
"Do you already know how you get back to Vegas?"
"How should I? Do you think I planned this?"
"No."
"Did you plan this?"
He giggled. "No."
"Then why do you think I already got a flight back to Vegas?"
"Because you are Sara Sidle."
"Then Sara Sidle acted pretty much out of character today.", she said grinning.
"I guess we both did."
"Well…I know you wouldn't let me marry him."
"You did?"
She smiled brightly. "You always think people don't know you, do you?"
"Normally they don't know me."
"You came here by car did you?"
"Yeah…I don't like airplanes."
"Liar."
"What?"
"You like flying…and the fact that you came here by car tells me that you planned to blow up that ceremony…you wanted to be sure you wouldn't be lynched by someone on the flight back and you knew I'd need a ride home if I'd decide to brake up with Nick."
"Am I really that predictable?"
She caressed his hand softly with her thumb. "Take me home, will you?"
He nodded softly and then lay his left arm around her waist while they walked to his car. He pressed her softly against his side. She smiled and squeezed his hand softly.
He only let go off her hand when he had opened the car door for her and had helped her into the car.
When he had climbed into the car on his side he took her hand again and squeezed it softly.
"Grissom?", she asked softly after they had been driving in silence for a while.
He turned his head to her. "Yeah?"
"What do you think will happen now?...I mean…at work…how am I supposed to…handle this."
"Handle what?…Be happy that you and Nick don't work on the same shift …and try to not pass his way that often…at least that will be what I am going to do."
"And what about us?", she asked staring down on her hands, playing with the engagement ring she still wore on her ring finger.
"Well…I told you what I feel for you…it's all up to you now.", he said softly, somehow in a disappointed way. When he realized that it was already to late, he wondered why his voice had sounded disappointed. There was no reason to be disappointed. She was here with him now, not married to Nick.
"Grissom...", she took a deep breath. "I don't know what to feel right now. I mean…I…"
"…It's okay."
"No it's not…Grissom I waited years…I desperately waited years to get to know what you feel for me…but you never told me. I could see it in the way you looked at me, but you never told me. And this wasn't enough for me, that was why I turned to Nick…because he could show and tell me what he felt…now when you told me what you feel for me I should be able to tell you what I feel for you, I have to tell you, because I know how much it must hurt you…", tears ran down her cheeks.
"…Sara…it's okay. You have all the time in the world."
She looked out of the window, watching the trees and fields flying by. She wiped the tears away from her cheeks with the back of her hand. Then she took off the engagement ring.
"I…I have to give this back to him…", she swallowed hard. "Grissom I hate myself for hurting him."
Grissom swallowed hard. Did she regret it?
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END OF CHAPTER SEVEN
A big SORRY to those who thought this might be a SARA/NICK story……I'm a GSR fan…so there was honestly no other way than letting this become a GSR story.