"The Ultimate Fanfic (or not!)"

By: AnimaeAriesGirl and her big sis Tin!

Notes: Hiya guyz, AnimaeAriesGirl here! This is my very first fanfic, written with my big sis Tin. It's hella long, but I promise it's SOOOO worth it, so please read on. Just wanna say that all characters in this fanfic are not mine, they are trademarks of SquareSoft/Square Enix...well except for Sage and the evil villain whose name will be mentioned later... Enjoy minna-san!

CHAPTER 3 – Mmm.Mmm..Good!

The little mage walked up to the huge castle. " SIGH It's been a while, well….. here I go!" Vivi fixed his little hat and started on his way to meet his old friends.

"Zidane, come back here!" screamed Queen (no longer Princess) Garnet as she chased down her fiancé' down the halls of Alexandria. "Zidane Tribal, get your butt over here and put on this suit NOW!" Her Majesty was now getting irritable.

"But honey, I don't want to. It's so… so… so…

FROU FROUEY!"

"But don't you want to look nice for our friends?" Dagger argued.

"No," Zidane continued, crossing his arms, " they are our friends, they are use to the fact I look cruddy all the time!"

Dagger pouted, " Fine, then you can kiss our wedding good-bye!"

Zidane ran after his woman. "Oh all right. I'll wear it," Zidane said.

The Queen kissed the monkey-tailed boy, smiled, and said, " That's more like it." Zidane just sighed and said,

"The things I do for love."

"Dinner is prepared and the guests have arrived," announced Beatrix after Queen Garnet (aka Dagger) and Zidane were ready.

" Hi, everyone," Vivi said gleefully.

"Long time no see," Zidane said pulling on his tie.

"Master Vivi," Steiner yelled, "what are you doing now a days?"

"And why couldn't you come last month for the celebration when Zidane came back to Alexandria?" Dagger asked, adding on to the conversation.

" Well," Vivi started, " First of all, I couldn't come to the celebration because I was busy at the Black Mage Village, so I sent my children instead (AN: Don't ask how they were made though, that's just another fanfic for another time ). Anyways, lately at the Black Mage Village I bought a shop there and started a business. It's called: "VIVI'S MAGIC POTIONS and POWDERS"

Like the name says I sell just that. Lucky for me, I found a couple of old powders. They look ancient, but I don't know what they do. I have one with me now," Vivi said, gesturing to the pouch in his jacket.

" As for Eiko," Vivi continued, " she is with Regent Cid taking Princess lessons, so she couldn't make it."

Dagger giggle softly and said, " That is something she may need a lot of!"

Zidane rubbed his chin, " The last time I checked, Amarant wanted to kill me, but I think he is targeting another bounty head-OR someone is after his bounty head. Either way he ain't here.

Steiner thought for a while. " I believe Freya is trying to rebuild Burmecia, as well as Sir Frately's memory.

Everyone was silent for a moment.

Suddenly the ground started shaking and an eerie glow crept out of the kitchen (sounding familiar?). Everyone started screaming hysterically.

They ran into the kitchen only to see Quina, the castle 's cook, dancing while he/she was cooking. "Oooo! Me cook yummy stew for you!" he/she sang.

Everyone sighed and returned to the dinning room, excepted Vivi. "I just get some water," Vivi said walking to the refrigerator. As he was walking back, Vivi tripped (nothing unusual there) and dropped his pouch on the floor. Not noticing, the mage left the bag of magic and returned to the dinning area.

"Oooo! Me cook yummy stew for you !" Quina sang as he/she cooked the food. " Hummmmm? What this?" he/she asked sniffing at the powder. " Must be good ingredient for dinner. Me put in frog stew." Quina nodded and continued to cook.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

A FEW MINUTES LATER

Quina pranced into the dinning hall. "Dinner served,' Quina announced.

"Yummy," Zidane said hungrily, licking his lips, " I'm famished, what's the dish for today?"

The one-eyed knight looked in confusion. " I don't think I would like to know!" Beatrix exclaimed poking at the pot.

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

All of a sudden a green substance appeared and started oozing out of the pot.

"What is that unsanitary gruel that stupid ungrateful cook has stirred up now!" Steiner screamed, jumping up and down, shaking his fists.

Beatrix calmed Steiner down and answered his question, " It appears to be a green swirling vortex of evil raidiating out of our dinner."

"Do you think salt and pepper will get rid of it?" Zidane questioned stupidly. All of a sudden the green gruel formed into a hand and grabbed everyone. " !! I guess NOOOOOTTT! " Zidane screamed as he and his friends were dragged down into the pot of no return!

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"And that's how the FF IX crew were "cooked" into the problem," Barret said, laughing at his corny joke. "Geez, Gramps, are you trying to make me throw up!" Sage screamed. " I mean, by the time this story is over, I'll never eat again. SIGH can we stop now?" Sage hollered. " No!" Barret screamed excitedly, " we 'bout ta see how I got in 'dis crap!"

Meanwhile, in another Squaresoft Universe…………

Author's Note: So many question, so little time... What does Barret mean by that last statement! Who exactly will be the next victims? Why can't poor little ViVi walk straight and not fall? Why do I keep making excuses for absents for characters I am too lazy to write in? To find out, read on...

Remember comments are wished by Author AnimaeAriesGirl!