Losing Sleep
By DistinctVagueness
Chapter 4
Snape flounced into his office, his door slamming noisily behind him. His black robes were thrown askew over the nearest chair and the glass-fronted cupboard beside his desk was thrown open, allowing him to remove a glass and a crystal decanter containing an amber-coloured liquid. He shot sparks from his wand to light the fire, which shot up, licking the bricks around it fierily.
Snape settled into his desk chair, the now full glass warming between his hands.
"Bloody sixth years," he mumbled to himself before taking a long sip of the whiskey. It slipped down his throat easily and led a warm trail down into his stomach. "'It wasn't me, sir.' Like hell it wasn't, Quigley. Wasn't me. Well, how did the Enlarging Potion get there, I ask you! If I could just-"
"Having a relaxing evening, Severus?"
Snape just stopped himself from starting at the sudden greeting. LeStrange's head was bobbing around in the flames, one dark eyebrow raised in amusement.
The Potions Master glared at his visitor. "Now isn't the time, Bellatrix. Bugger off." He slammed his suddenly empty glass down on the table and began to shuffle about with some essays from his second year class, completely ignoring the presence of his friend.
"I'm afraid it's going to have to be the time, Severus. I need to speak with you."
Severus slowly turned his head to look at Bellatrix. He put the papers down with a sigh and regarded him wearily. "What is it?"
"Draco spoke with his father this morning."
"So I heard."
"The Dark Lord has expressed a wish to see him branded as soon as possible. He has allowed time until Draco leaves school, but if he grows impatient…Severus, Draco must show willing if he is called before then."
"And if he doesn't?" asked Severus calmly, his features perfectly composed.
"Lucius will become another Death-Eater to break out of that gaol, if only to get to his son faster than the Dark Lord will. That boy has only one fate, we all know he is committed to it but his nerves" Bellatrix's voice became horribly mocking and Severus tried not to wince at it grating on his skin "won't exactly place him in a favourable light."
Severus regarded Bellatrix with narrowed eyes. "Why are you telling me all this? Hasn't Lucius already addressed Draco?"
"Because, my dear head of Slytherin," Bellatrix smiled wickedly, the reflection of the flames dancing in her eyes. "You are the closest person to him right now. He hardly talks to Goyle or Nott anymore, not that that's a bad thing mind you, and he only sees his father every few weeks."
Severus nodded grimly. "And, of course, the Dark Lord is putting this upon me too, isn't he?"
The aversion of her dark eyes, with their heavy lashes, confirmed his suspicion.
"I'll do what I can," he said.
Bellatrix watched him, and suddenly, it wasn't the Death-Eater front she always presented, but the person underneath staring back at him. She looked around quickly.
"Make sure you do."
She disappeared and the flames roared back in place of her head. Severus sank back heavily into his chair, closing his eyes.
There was a cautious knock at the door. Severus didn't move, hoping fervently whoever it was would just give up. No such luck. There came another knock, louder and more insistent this time. He gritted his teeth.
"What do you want?" His voice rose in annoyance.
The door opened slowly and a face appeared round the door. He groaned in annoyance at the trademark bush she called hair and a pair of wary brown eyes.
"What is it, Miss Granger? And close the door behind you."
Hermione bit her lip at the edge in his tone and hesitated, taking another step into the room. Snape had turned from her and was going through a stack of papers on his desk. She was glad for that, somehow. It was perhaps easier speaking to his back rather than his face.
"Spit it out. I haven't got all night. "
"I-well, that is-"
This had seemed easier when she rehearsed it for ten minutes outside his door, even after witnessing him storming into his office and slamming it before she had the chance to say anything.
Swiftly, Snape revolved round on his chair and looked impatiently at her.
"The only reason you could have come here tonight is to discuss your progress in Potions, Miss Granger. Therefore, I do not see why you are standing here, gaping like a fish and stuttering like some wretched first year. If this some pathetic teenage issue you haven't had the sense to discuss with McGonagall-"
"Professor McGonagall," Hermione corrected automatically and then stared at him in horror at her mistake. His already thin lips narrowed.
"Five points from Gryffindor for correcting a teacher, Miss Granger."
"I'm sorry, I…" Hermione's eyes suddenly fell upon the empty glass and the decanter beside it. He'd been drinking? That took her aback a little, but then she supposed that the teachers could hardly be expected to simply drink Earl Grey and pumpkin juice, especially in their own time. Still, she wondered…
"Well?" Snape looked like he was fully prepared to throw the Head Girl bodily from the room.
"I…" Hermione's mind went blank. Her preparation outside had gone completely to pot. The Potions Master with his black eyes boring into her in irritation didn't seem exactly approachable as his silent door had been. So she blurted out the first thing that came into her head.
"I need help with my Potions."
One eyebrow arched.
"I mean, that's to say, not with N.E.W.T's, but with…"
He didn't say anything but continued watching her as she told him an idea that she had banished from her own mind last year.
"Professor, I'm planning on studying Potions after Hogwarts and it would be much easier to do that if I had proof of additional experience than what I've learnt in your classes." Realising that could be taken as an insult, she continued hurriedly. "Not that I don't get enough experience from your class, of course, it's just that if I spent extra time on the subject…" She took a breath. "Sir, if possible, I would very much like to be your assistant."
She waited for the inevitable negative reply.
"Why do you think I need an assistant, Miss Granger?" The voice was alarmingly neutral this time, but she had a terrible feeling that whatever answer she gave, he'd have some retort which would make her wish the ground would open up and swallow her whole. As always.
"Well, for any extra work that's necessary, for example making simple potions that are required, or bottling ingredients. I think it might give you more time to concentrate on your own work, sir."
Severus studied her, feeling slightly confused, which he didn't like to admit. Was this girl, this Gryffindor offering up her spare time to do his chores? He thought for a moment. All she was seeking was a comment on her end of year report that would earn her a place in further education. He could simply give her hours of work in his storeroom a few nights a week, labelling jars and such. On the other hand, he would have to see the bushy-haired Know-It-All far more than he would like.
At his silence, Hermione reasoned that he would simply say no and tell her to get out, to get the awkwardness over with as soon as possible, she stood up.
"I'll go now then, sir."
His chair swivelled round again, turning his back to her. As she placed her hand on the doorknob, he spoke.
"I shall think about it."
-
Bellatrix cleared the wards with a word and strode into the building, letting the double doors slam loudly behind her. A newly branded member (Esketh was it?) nodded to her from his station outside the Dark Lord's quarters. She looked him up and down critically. He had an issue of the Daily Prophet in one hand and went back to reading it leisurely not noticing her steely gaze. His other hand scratched his balding head and then dropped back to his side. She shook her head in disbelief. What had happened to standards around here? When she had first been introduced as a Death-Eater, she had been miles from her master's inner circle. There had been no raids for her, or Mudbloods to play with. No, Bellatrix LeStrange had been reduced to scrubbing the blood from floors and taking messages. Her older cousin had always told her that if she were obedient and loyal to the Dark Lord's wishes, she would work her way up to the top eventually. Of course, he hadn't the metal to go much further than she, and now there wasn't even a gravestone that honoured his memory.
It had been a long eventually, but after a few years, she'd been allowed to go with her elders on a raid. There had been so much excitement, pain shrieking from houses in every direction, blood painting their robes and Bellatrix had loved every single delectable moment of it, culminating in her seducing a terrified Muggle and fastening him naked to his kitchen table with a particularly sharp knife.
She'd turned, admiring the crimson staining her fingers to see a pair of demonic eyes watching her. A smile had stretched those wicked, slight lips. The next day she'd been invited to a gathering. Those days of endless exertion were over and Bellatrix LeStrange would be feared. By fellow Death-Eaters and Mudbloods alike.
Just as it should be, she mused.
These thoughts angered her immensely to see this recent initiate to be treating the honour of guarding his master in such a languid fashion. She slowly pulled out her wand and drew it sharply upwards. The man dropped his newspaper, emitting a gasp, and was pulled to the wall, his neck and spine straining as he tried to resist.
"When I became a servant of our Lord," she hissed. "I was reduced to scrubbing floors to prove my honour but I did my work well and loved every minute of it because it was all for him. Do you even understand how precious the duty you've been given is? Yet you treat it so shamefully. You have no right to stand within a mile of him."
She took steps over to the terrified man who was struggling to breathe and brought her face so close to his own that they were almost touching. "You are nothing but a worthless slug and if I find you carrying out your allegiance in such a indolent manner again, I will step on you like such a creature myself."
She released the spell she'd been holding and he slumped to the floor, parched for air and clutching his throat. For an extra edge, she kicked him and then opened the door to her Master's rooms.
-
Draco scribbled absently on the edge of his parchment, his wandering mind unable to concentrate on the less than thrilling Transfiguration essay he'd been set.
His eyes flickered over to the fire roaring in the common room and for some reason, it made him nervous. It wasn't as though his father, or the Dark Lord for that matter (both amounted to the same amount of panic at the moment) was about to pop up there, but one of Lucius's friends easily could. And when they did…
Draco's hand moved of its own accord to his left arm. Underneath the dusky material of his robes, there was pale skin. If he were called, he'd have no choice but to be marked there, scarred for life. As if a string had been attached to his left arm, which the Dark Lord would yank on at will.
Of course, if he were branded with the Mark, he'd have to go for his second plan- playing spy for the Order and still betraying his father. It would be much harder than it had been for Snape, he knew. He'd seen it in the older Slytherin's eyes. Draco had a far bigger chance of being caught and he didn't have the experience to wriggle out of suspicion yet.
He desperately didn't want to end up like his shadowed godfather, though. Severus Snape was a broken man, through being pushed back and forward between Dumbledore and the Dark Lord, risking his life time and time again and only having one mission in life. When, or if, Draco corrected himself, Voldemort was destroyed, what would Snape have to live for?
He sighed. He honestly didn't want to think about it anymore and what it could mean to his future. Draco Malfoy was determined to be alive at the end of all this. Alive inside.
"Want one?" The lumbering form of Crabbe came toward him, a proffered Butterbeer in one hand. Draco felt slightly envious in that moment- his friend's life seemed so easy. Crabbe had a future as a Death-Eater, certainly but it wasn't expected of him until after school. Draco suspected the Dark Lord would only recruit him to keep it in the family, along with Goyle. The boy next to him took a long swig of his own drink happily and Draco knew that nothing else except getting to the bottom of that bottle was clouding his mind.
Draco shook his head. "No, thanks."
Crabbe shrugged his large shoulders. "So what did your dad say?" he asked loudly. Draco glared at him as a small first year glanced at them curiously. He picked up his book and parchment and left the common room for the dormitory downstairs. Crabbe looked slightly disappointed but stayed where he was, unscrewing the cap of his extra Butterbeer.
Draco shut the door of the dormitory with a bang and was glad to see he was alone in there. He sunk down on his mattress and rested his head in his hands.
Typically, the second he tried to relax, the dormitory door opened again and closed with a quiet click. He felt another weight beside him on the bed. Unwillingly, he looked up. Pansy.
The blonde gave him a smile. "What's wrong?"
Draco frowned at her. "Why should something be wrong?" he asked irritably.
"Because you just stormed out of the common room."
"It's nothing."
"You can tell me Draco. Is it your fa-"
"Pansy. Go away," Draco replied through gritted teeth.
"Are you sure you want me to go away?" Pansy asked. Draco felt a soft hand on his robes and turned slowly to her. She was gazing at him with lowered lashes and another one of her smiles. "Even if I can fix it…?"
The hand crept up to his cheek and she began to stroke it gently. Pansy closed her eyes and moved in. Draco jumped from the bed and moved away from her.
"No."
Pansy pouted. "Oh, Draco. You know you want to."
"No, I don't. I told you that after last week. What we did…Pansy, I said it couldn't happen again."
Pansy stood up, her face reddening and her eyes narrowed. "Why not? Don't say you didn't like it, Draco, I saw the look on your face. Is it Millicent? Is it?" She was glaring at him now and moved closer to him.
"Oh for Merlin's sake, Pansy. I said I didn't want anything to do with you. I don't have any interest in Bulstrode."
"Then why else did you dump me?" It was as if she was daring him to say she wasn't good enough for him.
"Pansy…can you just go…"
The blonde put her hands on her hips. "No, not until you give me a reason."
Draco shrugged. "Suit yourself." He walked over to the door and shut it neatly behind him, trying not to grin at the noise of outrage he heard behind him.
He honestly hoped she'd leave him alone soon. They'd had something on and off since their fourth year, but in the sixth year, she'd made it plain she was only with him for one thing. Draco had found it strange that he'd actually wanted a relationship with her at one point. He'd given in last week in a moment of weakness and he cursed himself for it. It'd been a stupid thing to do. No doubt Pansy had been with Zabini the next day who seemed to have no problem with the girl's infidelity.
Refusing to make eye contact with anyone in the common room, Draco left and headed in the direction of the grounds and his broomstick.
A/N: Thank your for your reviews and I'm glad you kept reading. I'm really going to try updating on I Don't Want To Be Alone as soon as possible, but my computer has kicked off again so I'm finding it hard to get a lot of typing up done. Thanks for the patience.
On another note, lots of you are commenting on the likelihood of this being a HG/SS/DM love triangle before it becomes a solid SS/HG. It has crossed my mind, but I honestly don't know yet. I do know the ending however. You'll just have to wait and see.
Wackoramaco87- A godfather (or godmother) is someone who parents choose to look after their child in the event that they cannot. They're often a close friend or relative. For instance, I have a godfather who is one of my dad's friends and my godmother is my aunt. They are also there to be witnesses, or a sort, if a child is baptised. They make the same vows as the parents do. Wow, I actually picked up some knowledge in my R.E lessons. Thanks for the review.
Captain Oblivious- Gold ring? Me? Looks around nervously My preciousss…cough Thanks for reviewing.
Winter Solstice- Thanks for stopping by again- I'm glad you like Draco. I thought he'd be a challenge at first but I've got into writing him now. Not a patch on your Snape though. Thanks for the review!
Strega-in-progress- Thanks for that lovely long review – sorry you took up space? I loved reading it. You were lucky to come across that one first- my first was A Matter of Honour by McAmy and it firmly remains one of my favourites.
DistinctVagueness