"The Ultimate Fanfic (or not!)"

By: AnimaeAriesGirl and her big sis Tin!

Notes: Hiya guyz, AnimaeAriesGirl here! This is my very first fanfic, written with my big sis Tin. It's hella long, but I promise it's SOOOO worth it, so please read on. Just wanna say that all characters in this fanfic are not mine, they are trademarks of SquareSoft/Square Enix...well except for Sage and the evil villain whose name will be mentioned later... Enjoy minna-san!

Chapter 12- Ahhh Sleep

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Room 1: Setzer and Sephy

Setzer yawned lazily and stretched out on his king-sized bed wearing his black silk Armani PJ's with an Ace embroidered on the shirt pocket. "Well 'lil Sephy guess you were right. This villain chap isn't too bad, he's got god taste. No mint on the pillow though."

Sephy said dryly, "Alright enough with the Holiday Inn jokes. At least this damnalbe villain provided PJ's as well as regular clothes. Now I know I won't have to fight in just my boxers!"

Setzer exclaimed, "Thank the Goddesses! You were scaring off some of the women. It's embarrassing to be associated with you when you're in your undies."

Sephy replied sharply, "you should talk Mr. Bunny Slippers. Let's try to sleep alright?" Sephy did some military stretches before entering bed. He felt quite comfy and warmer in his black sweatpants. He sat at the edge of his bed and looked at where his impressive abs used to be. Sephy poked at his newly protruding fatty budges and sighed, "Man, I'm so outta shape. Work is really getting to me"

Setzer looked at his bro and whistled, "Whoa Sephy, thems no longer abs, them flabs! You'll need those seven days to whoop yourself into shape."

Sephy glared at his older, slimmer brother. "Hmph, shut up. In seven days, I'll be back to my godly perfection. The ladies will drool all over me…. Blah, blah, blah!" He stopped as he heard the gentle snoring of Setzer, who had long ago fallen asleep. Sephy gave up and went to sleep as well.

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Room 2:Edgar and Sabin prepared for bed.

Edgar was comfortably dressed in his royal blue, regal silk PJ's with the Figaro Crest upon the pocket. He lay in the bed, lightly dozing as Sabin whistled happily, making his bed. The large martial artist was now dressed in his PJ's, a plaid red, drawstring capri sweats. He climbed into bed, settling himself, clutching onto something.

Edgar rolled to his side and said, "G'nite Sabin. Pleasant dreams 'lil bro."

Sabin replied, "Nite, bro! Hey, you forgot to say good night to someone else…"

Edgar raised an eyebrow. "I said good night to you already. No one else is here."

Sabin said, "Nuh-uh, you didn't say it to Mr. Wugglesworth!" Sabin revealed the object he was clutching. It was a worn out, stuffed lion. It's left eye was missing and replaced with a stitched "x." The lion's tail looked beat up and, re-sown many times from being pulled at. The right ear was drooping from days before when it was dragged around.

Edgar almost fell out of bed in shock. "Sabin! You still have that toy rag! You're almost 30 years old!"

Sabin pouted, "Don't call Mr. Wugglesworth a 'toy rag.' You'll hurt his feelings. Besides I can't sleep at night without him."

Edgar said dryly, "Mr. WIGGLESWORTH is a stuffed toy. Why don't you find yourself a girlfriend?"

"Hmph, it Mr. Wugglesworth with a 'u.' You're just sore cuz Terra isn't with you!"

"Whatever," Edgar replied turning around to sleep.

Sabin said, "Well, Mr. Wugglesworth says g'nite to you anywayz. Right Mr. Wugglesworth?"

Edgar rolled his eyes and searched out to turn off the lamp. "Let's get some rest. G'nite Sabin. G'nite Mr Wugglesworth."

The Figaro brothers and their lion friend fell asleep contentedly.

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Room 3: Tifa and Aeris prepare for sleep.

The two ladies were pampering themselves as they got ready for bed. Tifa was brushing her long, chocolate brown hair. She dressed in light blue shorts with white clouds on it and a white tank top that had a blue care bear (Dream Bear) on Cloud 9. Aeris was unbraiding her light brown/blonde wavy hair and hummed a pleasant tune as she sat in her pink PJ shorts with strawberry print and a white tank top with Strawberry Shortcake on it.

Tifa remarked, "Whew, glad to be in some comfy wear after running around in the beach and snow."

Aeris nodded, "Yea, thank goodness this villain provided us with PJ's. It's amazing how he knew our favorite color, type of PJ's, and hair products and lotion."

Tifa applied some of her favorite lotion on her arms and agreed, "Yea, it's a little freaky really. I wonder how he knew all this about us. Do you think we can beat him?"

"Of course we can. We have our old and new friends. Don't worry Tifa, all is well." Aeris assured her.

"You're right, thanks. We can do it. Can't wait to train tomorrow. This'll be fun." The FF7 girls bid each other good night and slept soundly.

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Room 4: Cid and Barret turn in for the night.

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"G'nite Barret," Cid finished. He was now in a par of blue PJ pants with airplane prints and a white t-shirt.

"G'nite Cid," Barret ended wearing his sailor PJ's from the Shinra boat episode.

"Oh yea Barret, one more thing…." Cid started…

"Wa?" Barret asked sleepily.

"You now look # UGLIER than sin in your sailor pajamas!"

Barret growled, "Why you…"

On to the next room…

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Room 5: Steiner and Zidane get some shut-eye.

Zidane scratched his back and stretched lazily. He plopped into bed and lay there. He was in gray drawstring PJ pants and white T-shirt.

He yawned loudly and said, "It's been quite a day, eh Rusty? Who knew a trip through Quina's soup would bring us into another adventure? SIGH I wonder what Dagger is doing now…"

Steiner grunted as he removed his heavy armor. "Her Highness will be well protected as long as Beatrix is there. Besides, you Brigand, you had better not sneak out in the middle of the night to sneak into the Queen's room!"

Zidane rolled his eyes. "Yea, yea Rusty, I know. Trust me, will ya? Anywayz, Beatrix is there, she'll mutilate me before I can get within a foot of Dagger's bed." He pouted and closed his eyes.

Steiner smiled proudly and said, "Ah yea, that is MY Beatrix. Strong and beautiful. Hmm I am truly in love." Steiner hummed the Alexandrian anthem and finished removing his armor and into his pajamas.

Zidane cracked an eye open to glance at Steiner. He let out a yelp in disgust, "Great Eidolons of Gaia, Steiner! I wonder if Beatrix would still love you if she saw your rusty butt in THAT!"

Steiner glanced down at his pajamas: red, ugly long-johns with pieces of lint scattered. "Beatrix loves me for me, Brigand, not for my sleep wear! At least I hope so…"

Zidane shuddered, "Ugh, g'nite Steiner! I'm gonna have nightmares tonight, oh geez." He quickly turned off the lamp and squeezed his eyes shut thinking of lovely Dagger, erasing the scary image of Steiner in his PJ's.

Meanwhile, Steiner had fallen asleep, beginning his Snoring Sonata. Zidane groaned and put his pilow over his head.

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Room 6: Speaking of Dagger and Beatrix….

Dagger hummed her usual melody as she brushed her long, raven locks. She straightened her flowing white night gown and fidgeted with the Falcon's Claw around her neck. Dagger pulled the covers on her bed and settled in comfortably and sighed softly.

"Are you well, Queen Garnet? Something on your mind?" asked Beatrix dressed in her yellow pants and top as her sleep wear. She paused in the middle of shining her famous sword, Save the Queen.

Dagger smiled a bit, replying, "Just thinking, Beatrix. Do you think we'll be safe in this castle? After all we are staying in the villain's castle and you can never really trust a villain."

Beatrix saluted. "Worry not, Your Majesty. I shall protect you at all costs from dangers, including conniving, lecherous, monkey-tailed fiances."

Dagger giggled, "Ah yes, especially those. Zidane is quite mischievous. I wonder what he is doing now?"

"No doubt, driving Steiner insane with his prattling and teasing. Or Steiner is keeping Zidane awake with his ungodly snoring," Beatrix theorized.

Dagger nodded, "Oh yes, the one-tent incident. Thank goodness we have separate rooms."

"Indeed," Beatrix agreed, "Steiner's snoring keeps the whole of Alexandria awake at times. Let us rest, Your Highness. Tomorrow, we must train."

The ladies bid each other good night and slept peacefully without the disturbance of Steiner's awful snoring.

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Room 7: Celes and Terra look forward to some sleep

Terra yawned tiredly and slipped into a light green floor length night gown. She shook her wavy green hair out of its usual pony tai and started to brush it. She glanced over at Celes who was now dressed n a similar light blue night gown, and she was brushing her waist length, corn silk hair. She had a slight smile on her face as she looked at her engagement ring.

Terra smiled, happy for her friend and said, "Incited to be Celes Chere Cole soon?"

Celes grinned back at her friend replying, "Ha, ha, yes. Who knew that I, former General of the Evil Empire, is now engaged and giddy as a school girl?"

Terra said, "Ah stop with the evil General bit, you deserve happiness-both of you. I wish Edgar would ask me to marry him, but between the kingdom and his flirtatious ways, it makes me wonder if he ever will.

Celes patted Terra's shoulder. "He's head-over-heels in love with you. Edgar is just waiting for the right moment. Perhaps after this adventure he will."

"Perhaps," Terra contemplated. "Hmmm..it's been awhile since we have been on an adventure. In a way, I am excited to train again. I hope I can still morph into an Esper.

Celes said, "You'll need to if this darn villain is tough. I personally can't wait to train with a sword. It's been awhile since I've had a good sword fight."

"Yeah," Terra agreed. "Wish I had the Ragnarok. Bet you wish you had your Rune Blade, huh?"

Celes nodded, "Definitely, but I guess we'll make do with what we've got. Tomorrow will be fun. Let's rest up."

The two women slept soundly, reserving energy for the next day's butt kicking training.

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Room 8: Cyan and Locke turn in for the night.

"By the goddesses, Sir Locke! How can thou expect to fit into thy smashing leather pants when thouest body is not of top caliber?"

Locke groaned, "I know, I know! Celes' cooking is good and I've gotten a bit relaxed since Kefka has been defeated. I'm gonna be so sore after training."

Cyan shook his head and lectured, "Sir Locke, thine own body should be treated as a sacred weapon: Tuned, polished, kept in utmost perfection. The body as the blade shoud be alert, shart, ready to strike and slice at the slightest reflex…"

Locke pouted, "So your point is….?"

Cyan sighted, "You shouldn't have let your get so fat."

Locke was about to protest and then gave up, "Ah, whateverz, too late now. Guess we'd better gather energy for tomorrow's training. I'm not looking forward to this."

He plopped into bed, wearing navy blue pants and a white T-shirt. He glanced over to Cyan as he turn off the lamp. He yelped (just like Zidane did), "Great Goddesses! Cyan, if you preach about keeping your body fit, I've got to lecture you on keeping your body clothed decently. Your pajamas are FUNKY!"

Cyan frowned at his PJ's: a traditional white dressing gown for men with a night cap. "Very well, I shall change." He grabbed a dark gray pajama set and put it on. "There now let us sleep for the dawn shall arrive."

Locke was already snoring….

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Room 9: Cloud and Vincent prepare to turn in for the night.

Vincent finished dressing into his black silk Gucci pajamas (a very stylish vamp, eh?). He looked at Cloud and raised an eyebrow and asked sarcastically,

"You sure you have enough blankets there?"

Cloud's muffled reply from underneath the blanket pile sounded like, "Yes, quite comfy. You better not bite me tonight, you vamp!"

Vincent rolled his eyes, "Cloud, we've traveled together against Sephiroth (Sephy). I never bit anyone, let alone you. Besides, if I were a vampire, you'd be the last thing I'd want to bite. Now Tifa and Aeris, that's another story…"

Cloud jumped out of his blanket cocoon, looking quite comical with his usual disheveled spikey blonde hair, light gray T-shirt, and funky purple PJ pants with chocobos all over them. He shook his fist at Vincent. "I'll run into their room and protect them!"

Vinny smirked, "They'd MegaSlap you before you could get a foot near their room."

Cloud pouted, "Maybe so, but you better steer clear of their necks and mine, Vamp!"

Vincent sighed, "Whatever. I'm going to get some Earl Grey tea in the kitchen. G'nite."

Cloud replied a muffled "G'nite" from his blanket cocoon.

Vinny stepped out into the dark hallway and made his way to the kitchen "Hmmm… my night vision is a bit rusty. Can't see things in the dark as well as I used to…Oh well."

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Room 10-The last room (finally) Quina and Vivi try to sleep the night away.

SNORE! Vivi covered his invisible ears. He thought Steiner was bad, but Quina could definitely contend. Vivi couldn't remember how he survived the one-tent incident with BOTH Steiner and Quina, but he wished he had a silence item to throw. He sighed, giving a weary glance at Quina's big form clad in a unflattering cook's night gown. Vivi climbed out of bet arranging his cute night cap and dressing gown. He grabbed a candle and went into the hall towards the kitchen. "I'm thirsty. Maybe some water will help me sleep…"

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Author's Note: And so we branch off the another sleeping chapter, written by me and quite short might I add. So what will happen to everyone's favorite little black mage during his nighttime adventure? Who knows! So please read and review! Arigato!