Losing Sleep

By DistinctVagueness

Chapter 10

"…Two pounds of lacewings, an ounce of powdered dragon claw and a litre of leech juice." Severus read before replacing the list of ingredients back into his pocket. The shopkeeper scurried about behind the counter, pouring various things into bags before packing everything into a large paper bag.

"Will that be all, Professor?"

Severus nodded. "Yes. Charge it to the Hogwarts account as usual."

"Will do. Have a good day."

Severus picked up the bag and turned to head out of the store.

"Stupefy."

He whipped around, his hand resting on his wand, ready to draw if necessary. He recognised the cloaked figure immediately, his mouth gaping slightly. The hand upon his wand slackened. He watched, almost in slow motion, as the surprised shopkeeper slumped out of sight to the ground.

"Lucius?"

The blond raised an eyebrow before sweeping the hood from his head and retreating to the back room. Casting a strong locking spell on the door, Severus followed him, a foreboding sensation deep in his gut.

"When did you get out?" he asked, as soon as they were safely out of sigh.

"Shortly after visiting times yesterday morning."

Severus studied the older man's face carefully. It was paler than he remembered, drawn.

"I'm assuming it would be foolish to ask if you were let out," he said dryly. "So tell me, why hasn't the press had a field day?"

"Took a leaf out of Crouch's book. I was surprised to hear you weren't one of my rescuers, Severus."

"I was busy," he replied neutrally.

One corner of Malfoy's mouth turned upwards. "Though technically, you were more helpful than you realise."

"How so?"

"The poison you brewed for our Master should prove most successful."

At his words, Severus's heart dropped to his stomach but, as always, he maintained a cool façade. Before the last meeting, the Dark Lord had requested a small amount of Tardo Mortis, which translated literally, meant lingering, slow death. The poison, once ingested, lay hidden within the victim's veins for many hours, or even days. The symptoms leading up to death were lethargy, depression and a sickness comparative to the common cold. All recognised products of being incarcerated inside Azkaban. The magical properties of the toxin could invoke a sense of emptiness, and for a person, who wasn't in a particularly stable frame of mind already, could easily pass as a hollow shell. A typical description of an Azkaban inmate.

"May I enquire as to who received it?"

Lucius smirked, an expression of mirth, but it only served to stain his countenance. "Oh, I believe you know of her. Tall, blonde, adequate bed partner? Spends my money as if it's running out of fashion?"

Severus felt sick. It was clear now how the plan had been concocted. Narcissa Malfoy had been escorted to Azkaban to visit her husband, and had obviously had something to drink on the way. A man with any shred of decency in his body would never have allowed the charade to continue, subjecting his already unbalanced wife to the horrors of his prison cell. But Lucius wasn't one of those men. He'd obviously taken his dose of Polyjuice with pleasure, whilst taking advantage of her sluggish state of mind and pushing hers down her throat. It was a miracle the Dementors hadn't sensed the vindictive pleasure he doubtlessly emerged outside with. But not that big a miracle.

He'd never liked the tall, standoffish Narcissa Black. Her marriage to Malfoy had only worsened his opinion. They were the perfect couple. Neither had any discretion as to what it was they did when they left their home without the other, but public opinion was that they were a 'lovely, committed couple'. Severus wondered why Lucius had given her up so easily. She allowed him to pursue other women freely while constantly maintaining their perfect family image. He wasn't likely to find many other women in her mould.

His dislike of the distant and unfriendly woman however, didn't alter his disgust at what had occurred.

"I'm guessing that the potion will take effect some time tonight," Severus said, slowly, ignoring Lucius's last words. "I take it you have somewhere to conceal yourself?"

A slow smile spread across the blonde's face. "Our Master has agreed to take me in for now. It is necessary that I am in his presence anyway…for future events."

Severus raised an eyebrow in question.

Lucius continued, his voice lower than it had been. "He will be calling the next meeting a week from this Friday. My son is expected to attend."

Severus frowned. "Didn't he decide to wait until the boy had finished school?"

Lucius nodded. "His plans have changed. He wants more than one spy at Hogwarts before this year is out. He will be branded, it is a certainty. From the way he was speaking, it was obvious this is to be not just a meet-and-greet for Draco." He smiled again. "Being branded so early…this could mean great things for both I and my son." The look on his pale face neared rapture. Severus tried not to grimace, but failed.

"I have to warn you, Lucius, you may not be successful. Draco…well, this will be unexpected, to say the least, for him."

Lucius's mouth settled into a thin line and he leaned closer. "You will bring him, Severus. I will ensure he gets there, with or without your help or his. I am not going to stand by and watch as he openly defies the Dark Lord. Because if he does," his eyes narrowed as he stared into his companion's, "I won't be the only one blamed, if you catch my drift, Severus." He raised an eyebrow before sweeping his hood back over his face and Disapparating.

Severus remained staring at the floor where Lucius had just been standing for several long moments before leaving the shop himself. He needed to speak to Draco.

-

Ron joined Ginny at the bottom of the stairs. Both carrying their brooms, they made their way through the common room, passing Harry as they did so. The black haired boy was sitting in front of the fire, idly chewing the end of a quill as he read through his homework.

Ginny frowned as her brother continued towards the portrait hole without pausing. She stopped. "Coming out to the pitch for a bit with us before dinner?"

Harry glanced up at her, before looking in Ron's direction. "Not really a good idea. Self-pitying recluses don't tend to make good Quidditch players."

Ginny looked confused. "What are you on about?"

"Why don't you ask your brother? He certainly wasn't confused about what he was saying to me the other day."

Ron turned from the portrait hole; the tops of his ears reddening. "Look, Harry, if you'd bothered to listen to what I was trying to tell you, you'd realise that you've got it all wrong. I was-"

"Wrong? Exactly what did I get wrong? Your choice of words?"

Ron's jaw tightened. "No. I meant what I said."

"Oh, you did?"

"The only reason you stalked off that day was because you know I'm right. If you'd just try talking to-"

"You're doing enough talking for the both of us-"

"-You'd see we're just trying to help-"

"How exactly was that helping?"

Harry had risen from his seat and Ron began to take steps across the room towards him.

"If you would just take the wall down for two seconds-"

"Wall? All I can see is someone who's supposed to be my friend attacking me for no good reason!"

"And all I can see is two seventeen year olds acting like they've just dropped ten years," broke in Ginny, yelling over their raised voices and staring incredulously at the pair who suddenly stopped. "Is somebody going to tell me what's going on?"

Only silence answered her. Harry turned his back on both of them. Ginny rolled her eyes and left the common room, brushing past her brother as she did so. Ron watched the motionless back of his friend for a few moments before following his sister. Harry only glanced over his shoulder when he heard the portrait click into place again.

-

"So, are you going to let Potter catch the Snitch again this year, or are you going to actually attempt it this time?"

Draco glanced up. "What?"

Blaise Zabini stood at the side of the couch, smirking. Pansy stood just behind him, one hand running the length of his sleeve before clasping his hand. Blaise took a seat in the armchair opposite, the blonde perching on his lap without invitation.

"Quidditch final's not far off," he said in reply. "Slytherin and Gryffindor are dead certs for it. So basically, everything depends on you catching the Snitch."

Draco raised an eyebrow. "You do like stating the obvious, Zabini."

Blaise shrugged. "Just thought I'd remind you."

"Unnecessary." Draco went back to the book he was reading for History of Magic, fervently trying to ignore the hushed murmurings of the couple nearby. He gritted his teeth as Pansy let out a shrill giggle and gave the pair a very pointed glare. Blaise grinned as Pansy removed her head from his neck. Her hand remained firmly under his shirt. She smiled sweetly.

"Something wrong, Draco?"

"There will be, Miss Parkinson, should you continue to disgust both myself and the lower years with inappropriate behaviour in public."

Their Head of House stood behind them, arms folded and sneering. Pansy's hand slowly came back into sight.

"Mr. Malfoy, a word if you please." Snape turned and left the room via the portrait hole. With Blaise and Pansy watching curiously, Draco put his book down and followed him out.

His godfather led the way down the corridor to his office. He didn't speak a word until they were both inside and the door was firmly closed.

"Nobody's heard yet, but I daresay this won't be a huge surprise. Sit down."

Draco didn't sit. He frowned and scrutinised Snape's expression. The man's face was neutral but his eyes were darker than usual, if that were possible. "What's happened?"

Snape took a seat behind the desk. "I was in Hogsmeade a couple of hours ago, Draco. Just for the usual Potions supplies. I happened to run into someone I had hoped was far away from here."

Draco felt his stomach drop. There was no question about who it was. The older Slytherin's face said it all. He sat heavily in a chair. "How did he get out?"

Everything became a little worse when Snape lowered his eyes for a split second. He seemed to be considering how to put the answer.

"How did he get out?" Draco persisted.

Severus sighed. "It seems that…his 'friends'…found a niche in the form of…your mother."

Draco swallowed, eyes fixed upon the desktop. "Dead?"

"Not yet. But-"

"She will be and there's nothing we can do about it." His voice was emotionless. He raised his eyes to his godfather's. "How did he do it? He couldn't have just switched places with her, he-" Draco broke off when Snape didn't try to correct him. He laughed hollowly, a strange sound in the otherwise silent room. "And why not? What was in the way? A sense of decency? Any humanity at all?"

"Draco-"

A knock on the door interrupted them.

"Yes?" answered Severus tersely.

The door leading to the Potions classroom slowly opened. Hermione came through it. "Professor, could you-" She stopped at the identical sombre expressions of the two Slytherins. "I'm sorry, I didn't realise…"

"You don't need to continue tonight Miss Granger. Just clean everything up and return to Gryffindor Tower."

Hermione frowned but went to leave the room. "…Yes, sir."

As her hand touched the door handle, Draco spoke quietly. "She can stay."

Snape looked at him, brow furrowed. "Draco, this isn't the time-"

"She can stay," the blonde repeated.

Completely puzzled, Hermione glanced to Snape again. "Sir?"

"You may remain, Miss Granger."

Hermione was still looking between the pair as she sat down in the only empty chair. Snape was watching his godson. He hadn't been entirely sure what reaction he would provoke by telling this news. Tears he hadn't expected; he knew that though Draco infinitely preferred his mother to his father, though he wasn't her greatest fan either. But this impassive expression wasn't something he knew how to deal with.

"Now what?"

Severus bridged his hands. "That depends on what you're referring to."

"What I'm referring to?" Draco stared at him, rising from his chair. "My father just got out of Azkaban! I can think of at least one thing he wants to see happen!"

Hermione eyes widened in shock. "What? When did he get out?"

Severus looked sharply at her, as if about to tell her exactly why it was none of her business. Something flickered behind his eyes and he answered simply, "Yesterday. Draco, sit down."

Eyes fixed on his godfather, Draco slowly lowered himself down again.

Snape exhaled slowly. There was no way to tell someone, let alone someone who was only just leaving childhood that they were being sentenced to a life of cruelty, deceit, and utter loyalty to a master who was little more than a power crazed madman. And if that loyalty was doubted, even unjustly, they would have to endure excruciating, slow pain, both emotionally and physically. There was no escape for a Death Eater.

So he said it as plainly as he could.

"You are to be taken to the Dark Lord a week from this Friday. You will be branded."

For a moment, it looked as though Draco would take this news as neutrally as before. Then he swallowed, his eyes drifting from his godfather, to the floor, and then back again. He shook his head.

"No," he said emphatically.

"Draco-" started Severus, but was cut off. Hermione was watching her unlikely friend, realisation dawning in her eyes.

The blonde jumped up from his chair. "No! This isn't fair. This isn't fair!" One hand flew up to his hair, raking through it without purpose. He turned back to his godfather. "I didn't ask for this. I don't want this! Any of this!" He was yelling now. "Gods, he couldn't leave me alone even when he was in prison! What the hell am I supposed to do now that he's out? What plan that we can make is going to work now? He is out there," he gestured forcefully at the door, "somewhere." Draco shook his head. "I might as well be resigned to it. What else am I good for?"

Severus held up a hand to silence him. "Draco…we have enough time to get you out of this predicament. Shouting and pleading defeat isn't your answer."

Draco laughed, exactly like before, though now, it had become edgier, grating. He leaned over the desk, glaring at Severus. "Why am I even talking to you?" he said, his tone low. "What the fuck do you know about it?"

Silence reigned in the small room. Hermione stared down at her folded hands, feeling very much the intruder in this conversation. Draco straightened up, his jaw clenched. As he moved towards the door, Snape answered him.

"I was in your place with Lucius Malfoy a long time ago. I didn't emerge the better man for my decision because there's a difference between you and I, Draco. I gave up willingly. I could have refused straight away, or even backed out at the last second, but I didn't. I'm still paying for it now. I don't want you to ever be caught in that kind of debt, which is why I'm telling you that you still have a chance. Fine, there's a complication, but that only means we have to work around it."

At the door, Draco hesitated, as if about to speak. He quickly changed his mind and the office door soon slammed shut behind him.

Severus pinched the bridge of his nose, exhaling slowly. This was exactly the sort of reaction he had both been unwilling and expecting to receive. Draco couldn't afford to be rash or impulsive now, not if he wanted to consider the situation logically. But then again, this wasn't necessarily about logic.

"Professor."

Severus started at the young woman's voice. He'd entirely forgotten her presence opposite him. She looked concerned.

"I don't know why Draco wanted me to hear that…and I'm convinced I've only heard a portion of the story. I just…wouldn't take that personally, sir. Merlin knows, if you'd just told me what you told him…" She bit her lip. "I think I might know where he is, sir."

Severus rose from his chair slowly. "Yes, I'll have to find him."

"No."

He turned to Hermione, an eyebrow arched.

"I think he might want to talk to someone who, well, has no idea what being you feels like." She shrugged. "It's much easier to do when you're angry at the world."

Severus studied the girl for a few moments. "I don't follow your logic, Miss Granger. But perhaps you're right about this."

She nodded, moving to the door

"It's not as if you're ever right about anything else."

Hermione allowed a tiny smile to creep onto her face when she realised he wasn't really insulting her.

"I'll clear the classroom first, and then I'll find him. Goodnight sir."

"Goodnight, Miss Granger."

-

After clearing the classroom, Hermione made her way along the dungeon corridors. Light was sparse and it was no wonder she smacked straight into a person heading her way. Recovering quickly, she lit her wand using Lumos and peered through the dark at who she had bumped into. After thinking for a second, she recollected his name.

"Blaise, right?"

"I'm not anything to you, Mudblood," he sneered at her, but it was decidedly weak; he glanced over both his shoulder and around her while doing so. He was up to something, she could tell. He shoved an empty brightly coloured sweet bag into his pocket.

"Yes, well, I suggest you make yourself scarce before the Head Girl makes something of you," she answered, drawing herself up.

Blaise took in the hand resting on the pocket where her wand most certainly lay. He hurried past her, making sure to knock her shoulder as he did so.

Hermione sighed before continuing. "Some things never change."

-

Draco kicked a stone absently against a wall of the Astronomy Tower. The sound reverberated into the otherwise quiet night. He realised this was supposed to be the point where he reflected deeply on his possible future. But he couldn't. To tell the truth, he couldn't. He pissed off. Pissed off at his godfather for telling him exactly what he had been expecting, at his mother for allowing herself to fall into what no honest person could call a life and for allowing her husband to use her as yet another disposable pawn in his alliance with Voldemort, and mostly he was seething with abhorrence for his father. Lucius Malfoy, who used his money and his mind to manipulate anyone within his reach. And those who weren't. He'd remained a lingering threat to Draco even when behind bars. Those bars were now removed.

There was a sudden noise from the tower stairs; a stone skittering from step to step. Draco turned slightly, his eyes narrowed. His hand snaked into his pocket to retrieve his wand, but he frowned as his fingers closed on something papery and slightly sticky. He pulled it out in confusion. A toffee wrapper. Funny. He couldn't remember eating one of those lately.

Footsteps caused him to look away and into the eyes of Hermione Granger.

They were the last things he saw before there was a stomach-churning tug somewhere around his navel.

Without warning, Draco vanished.

A/N: Just give me a few moments in which I can scream in frustration. I have lost it with this lemon of a machine. Take this for example; a few days ago, in the space of 2 days, I could only use it for 20 minutes. For once, I'm not lying when I say I've been writing every time I turn it on. It's taken me almost a week to write this, along with I Don't Want To Be Alone.

So, finally, here it is. I can't promise when the next one will be typed up, so please bear with me. I appreciate everyone's reviews, thanks for taking the time to do so.

SerenitySedai- You're too kind. I'm glad you like this so far. I hope this makes up for the wait. Thanks for the review!

Ezmerelda- Draco's been a good boy thus far. He deserves it. Thanks for reviewing!

Purplerebecca- I did have fun in Turkey, very hot though. Lol- I re-read the 'shrug' part and I see what you mean. The silent friend was Ron.

For the ending scene last chapter- I did consider it before I made it final, but I decided that's how I wanted him to come out with it. He was aiming to shock, and therefore scare her off, and what's more shocking than the truth? Her holding his hand threw him off, and he is beginning to see that it isn't too easy to deter a Gryffindor. Hope you enjoyed this instalment, thanks for your review!

Ennui CC- I'm glad you haven't given up hope on SS/HG. If you haven't discovered it before, I seriously recommend Ashwinder (search Google.) Lots of realistic and addictive fics available there. Thanks for your review, it made me smile.

DistinctVagueness