Losing Sleep

By DistinctVagueness

Chapter 12

Hermione awoke to the crackling of the fire, as a spark shot from the flames and disappeared just as instantaneously. She blinked sleepily, before recollection came rushing back to her and she bolted to her feet, grasping the material that had been placed carefully over her, tightly between her fingers. She frowned to find the room vacated and silent. Surely if Draco had returned…

The door to the right of Snape's desk opened without warning and the resident himself entered the room. The obvious question in the Gryffindor's eyes took him aback for a second before his face settled back into the pattern it had adopted over the last few weeks, and more recently, tonight.

"Draco-"

"In my rooms. He's asleep, finally. As you should be too, Miss Granger."

Defiance arose in her expression before she saw the look on his face. Snape wasn't displaying his usual attitude to her constant questions, on the contrary; he looked too tired to make a scathing remark tonight.

"If it's not too much trouble, Miss Granger, please take yourself back to your dormitory."

Caught between looking at the door he was asking her to take and the one she urgently wanted to go through, she looked back at her professor, slightly uneasy at his wary appearance.

"You're sure…he's…there's nothing…"

"There's nothing you can do now, Miss Granger. I'm asking you to take some rest so I have one less thing to concern myself over."

Severus hardly expected the girl to do what she did next. Hermione nodded quietly and made her way to the door. Before slipping through it, she turned back to him.

"Please tell him…I was here."

It was only after he nodded in acquiescence and she'd closed the door, that they both suddenly realised she was still clutching the robes he'd covered her with that night. Severus stood still, his brow creasing, before retreating to his rooms, his door shutting firmly behind him.

Passing through his candlelit sitting room, he entered the bedroom, his gaze falling upon the figure lying under the green sheets. Draco's body twisted slightly in his sleep as he murmured incoherently, his face pained.

Severus felt his jaw clench and his hand tighten into a fist. Trying to push his anger away, he ensured that the Slytherin was as settled as was possible under the circumstances and left the room without a sound.

Once he'd sank down into the large armchair that dominated the room, his head came to rest in his hands, fingers tangled in his drooping hair. Having it happen to him in the first place was one thing. Having it happen to someone else that you actually gave a damn about, was entirely another.

Contrary to popular thought, Severus hadn't been at the top of his game after his own branding. He had retreated to his potions at day and books by night, desperately trying to stop the uncharacteristic tears that stung his eyes, far worse than the pain that wracked his arm. He had been deeply ashamed, considering himself weak and a useless piece of equipment in the Dark Lord's plan. That was until foolishness took over again and he allowed himself to be led back into Voldemort's clutches by Lucius Malfoy. He might as well of cried, he thought, years past. Behaving like a child was far better than being led willingly into never-ending regret.

He had been a child, Severus reflected.

And so was Draco. That fact was painfully obvious to him now. Had it been so excruciatingly clear to Dumbledore, who had watched him fall into an eternal trap?

Severus gritted his teeth again. Too often had the elderly Headmaster believed firmly in the theory that learning from your mistakes was the best lesson of all. Some mistakes were avoidable….if he had just taken a more active part in the quiet, pale Slytherin's life all those years ago, shown him that he could trust his gut feelings…

But it was too late for that.

All he could do now was hope he could learn enough from his own past to stop Draco falling into the same mistakes.

"Not hungry?"

Hermione jerked upwards at the sound of Ginny's voice behind her. She tried to smile brightly.

"Just deciding what to have." She mustered up some interest in scanning the breakfast dishes laid out before them. She chose the easiest thing to wolf down.

"Can someone pass the toast please?"

The two Gryffindors nearest to the toast rack were Ron and Harry. The pair eyed each other before reaching for the rack at the same time and then abruptly drawing their hands. They resumed silently glowering into their own loaded plates.

Hermione sighed and stretched across the table to take a piece. Choosing to have it dry, she took a large bite.

"So where were you last night?"

Hermione choked on her toast, sending crumbs flying across the table. Ginny had to give her a few hard slaps on the back before she began to breathe normally again. She raised an eyebrow.

"So?"

"So what?" the Head Girl answered covertly.

Ginny frowned. "I was wondering where you were last night."

"I was doing some work in the Potions classroom for Snape…didn't I tell you?"

Ginny shrugged. "I guessed that, but, Hermione…I waited up until twelve for you before going to bed. Surely he didn't keep you that long, did he?"

Ron paused for a second before shovelling a forkful of baked beans into his mouth.

"Of course not," the brunette answered calmly, taking another bite of toast.

"Then where were you?" Ginny persisted.

"I said I'd do a patrol of the corridors before I went back up to the tower."

"Wasn't Susan doing it last ni-"

"Oh, for goodness sake, Ginny. Do you have to give me the third degree? It really isn't any of your business." Hermione snapped, and dropped her half-eaten toast onto her plate. "I'm not hungry. Ron, Harry, I'll see you in Potions." With that, she grabbed her bag and hurried out of the Great Hall.

Once she reached the entrance hall, Hermione slowed her steps, mentally chastising herself for her reaction to Ginny's curiosity. Now she would ask more questions than ever. She shook her head, almost imperceptibly.

"There was a time I could keep my mouth shut," she murmured as she descended the dungeon steps, speeding up a little as she reached the bottom.

The Headmaster closed the door to Severus's bedroom softly.

"He is unwilling to speak to me as well, it appears," he told the professor in a low tone. "I suggest we give it some more time before we push the events of last night from him."

"In all due respect, Headmaster, how much time do you think we have?" snapped Severus, forgetting to lower the volume. "It's going to look far too suspicious, and not just to his classmates, if he simply 'disappears' for a few days."

Dumbledore gave him the solemn, all-knowing look that he was ready to erase with force. "Severus, we mustn't be rash-"

"Rash," Severus repeated hotly. "Rash? There is at least one person in this school able to report back to Lucius at the drop of a hat on the activities of both Draco and me. It'll be obvious where the boy is and it won't just be my head on a platter, do you realise that? And you think I'm being rash?"

Dumbledore sighed. "This is not the time to discuss this. Will after dinner give you enough time to clear your head and debate this matter calmly?"

Severus's hand twitched and he didn't reply, biting back the sharp reply that tugged at his lips.

His employer nodded. "I understand your urgency to confirm the security of both yourself and young Draco, but you forget the years that stretch between you. Any action you are willing to take to end all of this is not necessarily one he is able to handle yet. I will see you tonight Severus."

Looking grave, Albus retreated from the room, his brow furrowed and the creases in his old skin strikingly obvious.

Hermione steadied herself as she came round the corner, just falling short of walking straight into the Headmaster.

"Oh, Professor Dumbledore, I'm sorry, I was just-"

Dumbledore gave a small smile. "With prior knowledge, Miss Granger, I think I can make a guess at what where you were heading?"

Hermione opened her mouth in response but then closed it again. "I-"

So Dumbledore had discovered what had happened to Draco the previous night. She wasn't entirely surprised. The elderly wizard's voice broke into her thoughts.

"The time is moving on swiftly this morning, Miss Granger. Might I suggest you head the way of your Potions classroom instead?" He offered her his arm, in order to steer her in the opposite direction.

Hermione hesitated. She had been tortured enough the previous night, for not having the chance to ensure with her own eyes that Draco was safe within the castle.

"Now isn't the right time for enquiries, Miss Granger. You have my assurance that you will be able to see him later."

Looking resigned to his words, Hermione took the Headmaster's arm and headed the way of the dungeon classrooms.

Ron stood a little way down the same corridor, concealed by the bust of an old school resident, slightly disappointed that Dumbledore didn't state the reason for her whereabouts. He, however, had a conjecture beginning to form in his mind. And he didn't at all like the direction it was taking. Eyes narrowed and jaw tense, he grabbed his bag and headed after her.

Hermione sat apprehensively on her stool as she watched Professor Snape glance around the room before beginning the lessons. His beetle-black eyes fell upon the only empty seat.

"Where is Mr. Malfoy?" he enquired of Blaise Zabini.

The young Slytherin hesitated for a second too late before shrugging. "Haven't seen him," he replied nonchalantly, meeting Snape's eyes head-on. Nearby, Pansy watched her boyfriend with narrowed eyes.

"Is he ill?"

"I don't know, Professor."

Raising an eyebrow, Snape remained for a second before returning to his desk. "You should all know what you're doing. I suggest you get to it."

A minimal level of talk filled the classroom as parchments were taken out and cauldrons set up. When Hermione left the table to find some equipment, Ron turned to Harry.

"Look, I'm sorry about before, alright? It wasn't my place."

"No, it wasn't," answered Harry shortly. He proceeded to ignore the redhead.

"Stop being a prat."

Harry looked up at the mixed look of apology and humour on his friend's face. Ron raised his eyebrows in question.

"Come on, mate, don't leave me hanging." At the mock serious expression, which looked so out of place on Ron's face, Harry felt his lips twitched. He gave a genuine grin.

Ron felt a wave of relief rush through him. He had in no way put aside his thoughts about Harry's behaviour of late, but now wasn't the time to discuss it. They had a more important issue to face. He leant a little closer.

"Listen, we need to talk about Hermione…"

When Hermione returned to the table she found Harry doubled over in silent laughter. While she was amazed at his sudden turn of mood, she was puzzled as to the reason. A red-faced Ron sat with his arms folded, looking rather cross.

"It's not a laughing matter," he said stiffly. "Harry, I'm ser- Hermione!"

The brunette raised an eyebrow. "What's so funny? Share the joke."

Both boys remained hushed, eyes on the table. It seemed Harry was about to speak before Ron shot him a warning glance. She rolled her eyes. Maybe the pair not speaking to each other had its good points. Such as not having to be out in the dark during on of their 'inside' jokes. Being the girl of their group wasn't always a good thing. Shaking her head, but pushing down a small smile, she continued with her work.

Severus watched the little exchange from across the room, as he emerged from his office and strode to the front. Strange. He hadn't seen Potter so animated in weeks and he'd practically been as cold as ice towards the Weasley boy lately. There was no doubt what they'd fallen out over, he knew. Turned out, Weasley had more than one brain cell in that head of his.

It hadn't been just Potter to suffer a change of personality due to foreboding. He'd noticed it in the staff too. Minerva had often cast an unusually concerned eye over her three precious Gryffindors, and Dumbledore, though he attempted not to show it, had all of his interests built upon Potter, causing him to become slightly blind to other issues in the school. He bit back a scowl. Potter would have suffered further in his years at Hogwarts had he been a Slytherin, he guessed. No matter what he claimed, in Severus's opinion, Albus Dumbledore was the master of unbridled favouritism.

He glanced at the small clock that sat on his desk. Blessedly, it was an ordinary Muggle item which told the time properly; he despised having to measure it in terms of 'Tea Time!', 'You're Late' and 'Shouldn't You Be In Bed By Now?' He cleared his throat.

"You may clean up and leave. In silence."

Like dogs responding to Pavlov's Bell, the class jumped to their feet instantaneously, clearing up and stuffing miscellaneous items into their bags with remarkable energy, whilst chatting to each other.

"I believe I requested silence." Severus said, quietly but threateningly. In the quiet that fell just as quickly, you could hear a pin drop.

Hermione, seeing her chance to talk to him about Draco, packed her things away slowly. In annoyance, she noticed Ron doing the same thing, Harry watching him in amusement.

She smiled apologetically. "Sorry, I might be a few minutes clearing this up. You two go ahead."

Ron smiled brightly back but spoke firmly. "Nah, we'll help you."

"Er…okay…" Hermione cleaned up her Potions equipment (noticing that Ron wasn't actually being all that helpful). As she left the room, she tried to catch Snape's eye, but he didn't look up from the work he was marking. With a resigned sigh, she left with Harry and Ron in tow.

Ron, visibly more relaxed now, began to talk about a Quidditch match that had taken place over the last holidays. Seeing her chance, Hermione made a noise of irritation.

"I've left one of my books, I'll have to go back." She turned. Ron caught her arm.

"I'll go, Herm, you just-" She shook him off firmly.

"Don't be daft. I'll go." With that, she turned again and made her way quickly back.

Ron gritted his teeth as he looked to his friend. The black haired teen had a glint of amusement in his eyes.

"And what are you smirking about?" He muttered over his shoulder as he stormed off down the corridor. Harry rolled his eyes slightly. Ron did have some insane ideas sometimes. Maybe he could excuse this to jealousy.

"Professor?"

Severus looked up as the door to his classroom creaked open. Hermione stood there. "I wanted to ask before, but I didn't get a chance. Would it be alright if I…I mean, can I…I need to see him…to know if he's alright…" She finished, looking determined but awkward.

"No," Severus replied.

"But Pro-"

"He's not alright. But he is safe for the time being. You may see him after dinner if you wish to that much."

Hermione nodded. "Thank you. I'll see you then…Professor."

A barely discernible nod both answered and dismissed her.

After dinner, Hermione bumped into Ginny on the way downstairs from the dormitory. The redhead smiled at her friend.

"If you've not got much homework to do, I'm just going upstairs to fetch a pack of cards so we can play Exploding Snap. Want to play with us?"

Hermione hesitated. "Maybe later? I have some work to finish up in the Potions room, I shouldn't be as long as usual."

Ginny opened her mouth, as if to say something, but then bit her lip. She shrugged. "Okay. I'll see you later then." She continued up the stairs.

Hermione frowned for a minute. Was it her or had Ginny just adopted a rather cool tone? Perturbed slightly, she carried on downstairs to the common room, school bag over one shoulder. She sped up a little towards the portrait hole, in order to avoid Ron and Harry's eyes. Slipping through it as quietly as possible, she was soon outside.

Exploding Snap in hand, Ginny entered the common room and set it down on the table. She began to deal out cards.

"Hermione can't play tonight. She's got more work to do," she said quietly.

Suspicions newly aroused in Ron and he looked at his sister. "When did she tell you that?"

"About a minute ago," answered Ginny, laying out the last card. "Though I can't say I'm surprised anymore. Ron, I- Ron?"

Ron had risen from his seat and left the room abruptly. She looked to Harry in question. Amusement with a trace of concern for his friends showed in his face, but he smiled warmly at the redhead, eliciting a slight flush on her cheeks.

"Shall I deal again?"

Hermione shivered slightly as she waited for her knock to be answered, and unusually, wanted him to open his door for her as quickly as possible so she could get somewhere near to the warmth of a fire.

The door was soon pulled open. Rather than retreating from the doorway and allowing her access, Snape held the door open for her to enter and remained there once she had come inside.

"I'm required to visit Dumbledore regarding his…condition tonight. I trust you won't mind my leaving you alone?"

Slightly puzzled at his courteous tone, Hermione nodded silently. As he started out into the corridor, recollection stirred within her mind and she darted quickly after him.

"Professor!"

Snape turned to see her delving into her schoolbag. She pulled out a neatly folded garment, looking slightly sheepish.

"Your cloak…I kind of…took it with me the other night. After all that happened, I didn't realise..." She bit her lip. "I'm sorry about that."

After a few seconds of his silent stare, Hermione took a small step backwards, wary of some sort of sarcastic rebuke. She didn't expect a slight nod.

"My fault entirely, Miss Granger, but I wasn't exactly at a loss over the matter. I do own more than one cloak."

Hermione smiled slightly before stifling it, not sure whether it was subtle teasing on his part, and if it was, in the dark about what to do with that fact.

"Just leave it in my office."

"Yes, Professor…oh, and where-"

"My rooms," he answered shortly before turning away.

Hermione felt rather dumbstruck. She knew that Draco had to be in his private rooms, where else would he be, but…had Snape just given her permission to enter them? And without him, she might add.

A confused smile lit her face. She wondered who else had seen the rare glints of his true character shining out from his cold exterior.

Once Snape had passed him, a Gryffindor rose from his spot in the shadows, his red eyebrows drawn close together in emotions he wasn't quite sure of. He knew one thing though; Harry would believe him now.

A/N: Well, what can I say? I don't see any point in apologising again, most of you who are reading this probably read the author's note that was posted a little while ago, before being removed (forcibly). Since starting college back in September, time has taken over me quite a bit and I've not dedicated much time to reading my usual favourite ongoing fics, never mind posting to my own. I really wish I had, because it has taken quite a lot of effort to get my mind back into these characters, not a thankless task, I enjoy writing for this 'ship still, but I feel it may still be a bit different to my writing style in the last chapter. Is it? Please let me know. I hope to get back on track with all those fics I was reading soon. I'm unsure of when I'll next update, but the fact that I was jotting down some new ideas for its direction means I won't be giving up soon.
I was also re-reading Anam Cara today and I wondered why I had given up. Then I realised why. I made a glitch in the plotline and I sort of chickened out with re-writing the last one or two chapters. Perhaps that's something I should be looking into as well.

Thank you for all of your reviews. I appreciate your efforts to get me writing for this again. takes deep breath So I guess I should get back to some individual responses.

Ezmerelda- Hopefully you'll want to hug poor Draco in the next chapter too. Thanks for the review!

Captain Oblivious- How is QuickEdit these days? I'm a little out of the loop….I guess I will find out soon though. Thanks for reviewing.

purplerebecca-Hope you think there's some more of that progression in this chapter. I have definite ideas now of how to include a little more speed in that way, but not too much. Thanks for your review!

wackoramaco87- I think your good luck must have worked because I love college. (Though I don't love this History homework I'm supposed to be doing right now.) Thank you for the e-mail you sent, it was received with a smile, and also thanks for your review!

Kerichi- I have been receiving alerts for your fics, but due to turning off my review alert for a while, for some reason, I didn't receive any updates for a couple of months. One of these days, I will sit down and read them from start to finish (or at least current chapters if not endings). Thanks for the review

KeithUrbanFan- Thanks for reviewing. Wally does indeed have a red and white striped hat. I'm not entirely sure why the names differ. Did you get the TV show years and years back? Remembers fondly
midniteblusoccer- I was indeed an obsessed fan of Buffy a while back, and watched it until the end. Now I'm not such a fan, but I remember that fondly too. I guess it was an essential part of my growing up grins And I'll remember your…advice? Though I doubt I'd ever have the opportunity. Thank you for reviewing.

Natasha Vloyski- I'm glad you liked it, and I'm sorry to have been such a neglectful author. Thanks for the review.

Roth1900- Lol, yes maybe it was a mistake, but I'm not going to resign yet. I hope the long wait hasn't dampened your opinion of me? Just out of interest, are you a teacher or student at your university? Thanks for the review!

M'cha Araem- Glad you liked it. Thank you for the review.

pantspie- looks nervous If you were in 'silent fury' then…I think I'm in trouble now. Hope this appeases you. Thanks fore reviewing!

Astrea Von Hurston- I have a need not to make Draco evil in the majority of things I write including him. It feels…too easy for me I think, But then again, I applaud other authors who use his potential 'evilness' in a creative and refreshing way. It's not always a bad thing. Thank you for the review.

embattledcurve-College has been great so far and I've not got tired of it yet, so that's a good time. This time last year, in high school, I wanted to pass back to a time where there was no education.

Unpleasant appointment? Let's just say there was a needle involved. I'm sure you're a fantastic dentist, but I've never been the biggest fan of the practice. (Huge understatement.)

And as for the branding, some emblems don't always stay the same. And life can never be perfect. It's there to symbolise the stain on his life his father has made, not just the Dark Lord. I stay with my decision. I didn't want it to be the big finish of this story. Thank you for the review.

Evain- You may be in shock right now, since I actually did pick up my pen, eventually. It's funny that you mention about the grey eyes, because when I first started reading through this a while ago, I picked up on it. It shall be corrected at some point. (Lazy? Me? Nooo…) Thank you for the review!

Munching Munchkin Management- Thanks for the review. Hermione hasn't exactly suddenly been trusting Draco. That's one reason I didn't start this story in September, in order to have her character assessment of him building up for some time. Hermione doesn't judge on first sight, I've got from the books, and I believe she would take second chances if her gut feeling tells her it's right. His attitude and personality have given her a basis for trust and the events that unfold her only strengthen that foundation. I hope that satisfies you. Thanks again!

DistinctVagueness