High on love

"It's all gone now."

His hand gently pulls my head back by my hair and I look at him, a smile breaking through on my face. My Alexander, his heart as golden as his curls. "Yes, only you stay," I whisper.

An unconscious smile forms on his lips. "Come." He stands up and steps out of the bath, extending his hand to me, not letting go until I stand safely on the cold tiles. He reaches me a towel. I dry myself quickly, the water no longer warm on my skin. Alexander does the same, swift movements, his gaze drifting back to me every other second. Needs to be reassured I'm still smiling.

Perhaps I'm not smiling.

Moments like these always leave in a second. Clouds around my heart… only once in a while the sun able to break through, when Alexander's strong wind blows by. I turn my head away.

He approaches silently and slips two arms around me. I sigh. Reach out to put the towel hanging around my shoulders around him as well, his warm body leaning against mine. Rest my chin against his forehead. His breath slips away slowly as he lays his warm palms on my lower back, then moves them upwards to my shoulder blades, pulling me to his chest. Soft kisses find my collarbone. His touch… I would have him with me all day, his body intertwining with mine, his lips and fingers everywhere… high on love.

It takes you to the greatest heights, but can also mercilessly let you fall, if you make the wrong decision. Climbing up by yourself is a long road…

His wet tongue presses against the skin of my shoulder, he sucks softly and I shiver, wonder if he is holding back. And if he is, how to convince him he shouldn't. I let my fingers play over the smooth skin of his neck.

He leans back. "Are you alright?" he asks with his sweet worried voice, and in reply I let go of the towel and bring both of my hands to his face, urge his lips open and kiss him deeply. I feel his want because it is in me as well.

He backs me up against the wall. He presses against me hard, his arousal against my thigh, his hard breathing below my ear. No memories, just this. Just Alexander. I let him kiss me, devour me, as I only want him to and what I'll never deny him. His hands slide up and down my sides, finally finding the curve of my buttocks, his nails lightly scraping my skin.

His lips leave mine, and I pant into the damp air. Oh, the sweetness of such moments… He kisses his way down, swirling his tongue over my skin and around my left nipple. A yelp leaves my mouth as he bites down. He knows me too well, too well... My head falls back powerlessly against the wall as he sucks harder. "Alexander…"

I feel him smile against my skin and he swiftly visits my other nipple, then moves down. Doesn't want me to come right then and there. As if I'd let him do that. The tip of his tongue teases over my stomach, dips in my navel, I close my eyes and just feel. Surrender.

My knees nearly buckle when he wraps his lips around my arousal, flicking his tongue out again and again. It was expected, yet I ever fail to imagine to what extent it overwhelms me, sends my whole being buzzing and spinning through the air. I gasp, wish it to stop, never end. Heat spreads through me in waves, taking away my breath. Need him…

He withdraws, and finally I open my eyes to look down as he is kneeling at my feet. Glinting brown eyes meet mine. "I know what you want," he breathes, and the mere words make me pant with desire even harder. With a smile, he jumps up and slips his tongue between my lips without further hesitation, and I impatiently rock my hips against his. He knows what I need.

"To the bed," I pant as clearly as my voice will let me. It is more of a moan but he understands. I don't know how I ever got there, but the next moment he is on top of me and his finger slips in and my eyes roll back in my head. I hear my own voice but have no idea what I'm saying, hear him chuckle somewhere in the distance. Reaching ever higher heights. Beg him to just do it, hurry…

Pain is ever a positive thing in those situations, makes everything more real somehow. Especially if you know it will all be well… more than well oh... Small sounds escape from somewhere deep in my throat. "Relax," he sighs in my ear, "relax, my beloved."

He should know better than to say such things, as I tense up in desire and writhe beneath him. My hands claw at his back. "'Sander!" I grunt out. Where he finds the strength I don't know, but he laughs again and it is the last thing I hear before an indefinable amount of time later the world spins around me and I pass out in my release.

When I return to him he is lying beside me, stroking my chest with slow fingers. My blurry vision tells me his eyes are teary. "My lover," I whisper, and bring my lips down over his, my hand brushing away his tears. "My dearest, best lover in the whole world, who even the gods should be jealous of, what is it that moves your heart so?"

He moves his hand over mine and intertwines our fingers. "The gift they sent me."

"Ahh," I reply, leaning closer again and kissing his forehead. "The gift that you put under your spell and that will never leave you?"

"Yes, that one," he chuckles through his tears, and I take him in my arms to feel his warm body close to me once more.

Happiness and love linger inside of me, and I manage not to think, not to worry. We both remain silent for a long time. Finally, we are disturbed by a sound coming from my stomach. He looks up into my eyes. "I should visit my mother. She will be able to help us, tell us what to expect and what to do."

I cannot voice my protest. I know he will not listen to me when I say I don't trust his mother, because he trusts her with all his heart. It's strange that I would take Philip's word that she is dangerous, of all people, but it's my guts telling me he's right. But Alexander won't listen to me when it comes to her. I sigh and press my mouth in his blond curls. "If you think that the right thing to do, Alexander."

"I do. Have something to eat, wait here for me. Keep the door barred. I will be back soon." He frees himself from my embrace, presses a kiss on my lips and slips of the bed to dress. I watch him silently. The real world creeping up on us again. And Alexander is the one undertaking action. I will wait and pray.