AN: Thanks again for all the nice reviews. Reviews are my fuel. As a reward
comes here the next part. I made someone laugh at the last chapter. Yay me!
lol. But I can guarantee you that there is nothing to laugh at in this
chapter. This is a drama fic, so here comes the drama. ;-) And I'm sorry
that it's so short but this piece was really hard to write and I'm just
glad that I could put it behind me now.
DISCLAIMER: The characters are not mine.
*************
New York Later that day
Chandler sat in a cab on the way from the airport to his old apartment building and his old life. His stomach was churning and he felt a light sweat form on his forehead. His anxiety was rising as he recognized his old neighborhood. And then suddenly he arrived at his destination. The cab driver stopped and turned around, his look questioning Chandler.
"Could you wait a few minutes. It could be possible that I will go to the hotel first." Chandler told the cabbie.
"Sure. But y'know, the clock keeps running, buddy."
"That's ok." Chandler mumbled while climbing out of the car.
He cast around for anyone familiar and took a small step away from the vehicle. It was just his luck that Phoebe came out of the door in front of him right then. She stopped dead in her tracks when she identified the man standing a few feet away. Her mouth fell open and her eyes grew big. But before she could say anything Chandler dove back into the cap and told the driver to beat the traffic.
Phoebe stood there. Maybe for some seconds, maybe for an eternity. And when she finally was able to think she didn't know if she had really just seen Chandler or if it was a trick played by her imagination. One thing was sure. She wouldn't tell Monica about her nearly encounter. If Chandler came back Monica would see him then. And if Chandler never came back, what would be the point in distressing Monica with this information.
Chandler on the other hand sat in the cab, not sure about anything anymore. If seeing Phoebe for this short time shook him up so much he didn't want to think about his possible meeting with Monica. Phoebe had looked more shocked than mad. So maybe Monica wouldn't be angry either. When Victor advised him to get a divorce he had thought about it back and forth. He didn't know if he could ever get back together with Monica. For the possibility of that happening his pain was still to fresh, the hurt to deep.
All he wanted to do right then was to get to the hotel and go to sleep. He didn't want to think about Monica any longer. But he knew that was wishful thinking and that he wouldn't get her out of his head. Maybe the divorce could give him some closure.
*************
New York The next morning
Chandler stood in front of the apartment door with the golden No. 20. He hadn't slept at all the previous night, so he'd used the time to work up his confidence for this meeting. And now he was almost sure that he could do it.
He knocked.
Seconds later he heard a chair scraping over the floor and steps nearing the door. His heart raced and he held his breath as the door opened.
"Chandler." Monica gasped when she saw him standing in front of her. Before she could say anything else he pushed his way into the apartment.
"Monica, I need to talk to you." He said harsher then he had planed.
Monica winced at his tone but closed the door softly and turned around to look at him.
"What are you doing here? I thought I would never see you again." Monica said quietly.
"I know that you never wanted to see me again." He said bitterly. "But why didn't you just send the divorce papers back then?"
"What?...No, I didn't mean it like that. I'm glad to see you again." Monica rambled on. "I missed you." She added quietly.
"But I thought..."
"I know what I said back then. But you have no idea how sorry I am." Monica cut him off. "If I had known then what I know now I swear I..."
"What do you mean? What do you know now?" It was Chandlers turn to interrupt her.
"It was Rachel. She lied to all of us. I don't really understand why she did it, though." Monica cast a short glance at Chandler but returned her look to her feet as soon as she met his eyes. "She told me that you had a month long affair with her. And I was so confused after I caught you two kissing that I believed her. I mean, why shouldn't I. She was supposed to be my best friend." Monica went on, the tears she had already shed over the betrayal and the loss of Chandler once again falling down her face. Chandler was flabbergasted. At least now it all made some sense.
"Well, I was your husband and I thought I was your friend too. Yet you didn't even let me explain. Oh Mon...You have no idea how bad you hurt me that day." Chandler sighed as he pulled a chair out and sat down at the kitchen table. "One moment Rachel kisses me and the next moment my whole life is shred into little pieces. No wife, no friends, no place to stay..." Monica rushed over to where he was sitting and crouched down next to him.
"I know. And I'm so, so sorry, sweetie." Monica felt Chandler tense at the term of endearment she used but chose to ignore it. "But you have to believe me when I say that it wasn't my intention to hurt you. I love you so much. You have to know that I always loved you and that I'll always loving you."
"No!" Chandler yelled, jumping out of the chair nearly knocking it and the squatting Monica over in the progress. "No, I don't believe you. I can't believe you. You want to know why?" He asked but rushed on without giving her a chance to answer. "Because I saw it in your eyes that day. You hated me! Right then you didn't love me." He was pacing through the living room while Monica watched speechless from the kitchen as he carried on. "And who knows, maybe you didn't love me before that day either." Chandler contemplated. "I mean, how often did I have to hear from Rachel and Phoebe that I wasn't good enough for you, that you had just settled for me. And I never.never believed them." Chandler stopped in front of the TV seemingly deep in thought. "I was so stupid." Chandler said quietly to himself before he turned his head and looked directly in Monica's eyes. "But I paid the price for that." He ended his ranting bitterly.
Monica gulped heavily. She had known that she had hurt Chandler with her actions but she never even imagined the proportions of the pain she saw in his eyes at that moment.
"What do you want me to do, Chandler?" She asked with a barely audible voice. "I..."
"I want you to sign the divorce papers." He said emotionless throwing the documents onto the coffee table.
"But I love you. If you believe me or not doesn't change my feelings for you. I don't want to divorce you!" Monica dismissed his demand. She knew that she wouldn't see him again after they got divorced and she couldn't live with the thought of never seeing Chandler again. She had to prove it to him that she really loved him. But before she could start to convince him he broke down completely.
"Why are you torturing me like this?" He sobbed not bothering to stop the tears any longer. He didn't want her to see him like this but he just couldn't stand it any longer. "Isn't it enough that you destroyed me? Do you have to see the damage with your own eyes. Is that why you wouldn't send back the papers? So that I would have to come here? Well, you've won. I'm here and you've seen me at my lowest point now. Please, please let me find some peace."
Monica was shocked to her very core. She had never really seen Chandler cry and now here he was, a total wreck. And the worst was, it was her fault. She now saw that she had broken an important pillar supporting marriage, love and friendship. Trust. And with that she had broken Chandler too. And his love for her. She knew now that she had to let him go. She couldn't stand the thought of seeing Chandler like that a second longer. She loved him too much to do that to him. Chandler observed with watery eyes as Monica went to the coffee table. She took the papers and brought them to the kitchen table grabbing the phone pen on the way there. She spread the three identical documents out in front of her and searched for the line where she had to sign them. After she found it she looked up at Chandler who stood still rooted to his spot in the living room, trying to suppress his hiccups. Then she signed them.
TBC...
*************
AN: That's it for now. As I said this was really hard to write. So please leave a review and tell me how it was. The next part will be up soon. Maybe even sooner, but that lies in your hands. *hint - hint*
DISCLAIMER: The characters are not mine.
*************
New York Later that day
Chandler sat in a cab on the way from the airport to his old apartment building and his old life. His stomach was churning and he felt a light sweat form on his forehead. His anxiety was rising as he recognized his old neighborhood. And then suddenly he arrived at his destination. The cab driver stopped and turned around, his look questioning Chandler.
"Could you wait a few minutes. It could be possible that I will go to the hotel first." Chandler told the cabbie.
"Sure. But y'know, the clock keeps running, buddy."
"That's ok." Chandler mumbled while climbing out of the car.
He cast around for anyone familiar and took a small step away from the vehicle. It was just his luck that Phoebe came out of the door in front of him right then. She stopped dead in her tracks when she identified the man standing a few feet away. Her mouth fell open and her eyes grew big. But before she could say anything Chandler dove back into the cap and told the driver to beat the traffic.
Phoebe stood there. Maybe for some seconds, maybe for an eternity. And when she finally was able to think she didn't know if she had really just seen Chandler or if it was a trick played by her imagination. One thing was sure. She wouldn't tell Monica about her nearly encounter. If Chandler came back Monica would see him then. And if Chandler never came back, what would be the point in distressing Monica with this information.
Chandler on the other hand sat in the cab, not sure about anything anymore. If seeing Phoebe for this short time shook him up so much he didn't want to think about his possible meeting with Monica. Phoebe had looked more shocked than mad. So maybe Monica wouldn't be angry either. When Victor advised him to get a divorce he had thought about it back and forth. He didn't know if he could ever get back together with Monica. For the possibility of that happening his pain was still to fresh, the hurt to deep.
All he wanted to do right then was to get to the hotel and go to sleep. He didn't want to think about Monica any longer. But he knew that was wishful thinking and that he wouldn't get her out of his head. Maybe the divorce could give him some closure.
*************
New York The next morning
Chandler stood in front of the apartment door with the golden No. 20. He hadn't slept at all the previous night, so he'd used the time to work up his confidence for this meeting. And now he was almost sure that he could do it.
He knocked.
Seconds later he heard a chair scraping over the floor and steps nearing the door. His heart raced and he held his breath as the door opened.
"Chandler." Monica gasped when she saw him standing in front of her. Before she could say anything else he pushed his way into the apartment.
"Monica, I need to talk to you." He said harsher then he had planed.
Monica winced at his tone but closed the door softly and turned around to look at him.
"What are you doing here? I thought I would never see you again." Monica said quietly.
"I know that you never wanted to see me again." He said bitterly. "But why didn't you just send the divorce papers back then?"
"What?...No, I didn't mean it like that. I'm glad to see you again." Monica rambled on. "I missed you." She added quietly.
"But I thought..."
"I know what I said back then. But you have no idea how sorry I am." Monica cut him off. "If I had known then what I know now I swear I..."
"What do you mean? What do you know now?" It was Chandlers turn to interrupt her.
"It was Rachel. She lied to all of us. I don't really understand why she did it, though." Monica cast a short glance at Chandler but returned her look to her feet as soon as she met his eyes. "She told me that you had a month long affair with her. And I was so confused after I caught you two kissing that I believed her. I mean, why shouldn't I. She was supposed to be my best friend." Monica went on, the tears she had already shed over the betrayal and the loss of Chandler once again falling down her face. Chandler was flabbergasted. At least now it all made some sense.
"Well, I was your husband and I thought I was your friend too. Yet you didn't even let me explain. Oh Mon...You have no idea how bad you hurt me that day." Chandler sighed as he pulled a chair out and sat down at the kitchen table. "One moment Rachel kisses me and the next moment my whole life is shred into little pieces. No wife, no friends, no place to stay..." Monica rushed over to where he was sitting and crouched down next to him.
"I know. And I'm so, so sorry, sweetie." Monica felt Chandler tense at the term of endearment she used but chose to ignore it. "But you have to believe me when I say that it wasn't my intention to hurt you. I love you so much. You have to know that I always loved you and that I'll always loving you."
"No!" Chandler yelled, jumping out of the chair nearly knocking it and the squatting Monica over in the progress. "No, I don't believe you. I can't believe you. You want to know why?" He asked but rushed on without giving her a chance to answer. "Because I saw it in your eyes that day. You hated me! Right then you didn't love me." He was pacing through the living room while Monica watched speechless from the kitchen as he carried on. "And who knows, maybe you didn't love me before that day either." Chandler contemplated. "I mean, how often did I have to hear from Rachel and Phoebe that I wasn't good enough for you, that you had just settled for me. And I never.never believed them." Chandler stopped in front of the TV seemingly deep in thought. "I was so stupid." Chandler said quietly to himself before he turned his head and looked directly in Monica's eyes. "But I paid the price for that." He ended his ranting bitterly.
Monica gulped heavily. She had known that she had hurt Chandler with her actions but she never even imagined the proportions of the pain she saw in his eyes at that moment.
"What do you want me to do, Chandler?" She asked with a barely audible voice. "I..."
"I want you to sign the divorce papers." He said emotionless throwing the documents onto the coffee table.
"But I love you. If you believe me or not doesn't change my feelings for you. I don't want to divorce you!" Monica dismissed his demand. She knew that she wouldn't see him again after they got divorced and she couldn't live with the thought of never seeing Chandler again. She had to prove it to him that she really loved him. But before she could start to convince him he broke down completely.
"Why are you torturing me like this?" He sobbed not bothering to stop the tears any longer. He didn't want her to see him like this but he just couldn't stand it any longer. "Isn't it enough that you destroyed me? Do you have to see the damage with your own eyes. Is that why you wouldn't send back the papers? So that I would have to come here? Well, you've won. I'm here and you've seen me at my lowest point now. Please, please let me find some peace."
Monica was shocked to her very core. She had never really seen Chandler cry and now here he was, a total wreck. And the worst was, it was her fault. She now saw that she had broken an important pillar supporting marriage, love and friendship. Trust. And with that she had broken Chandler too. And his love for her. She knew now that she had to let him go. She couldn't stand the thought of seeing Chandler like that a second longer. She loved him too much to do that to him. Chandler observed with watery eyes as Monica went to the coffee table. She took the papers and brought them to the kitchen table grabbing the phone pen on the way there. She spread the three identical documents out in front of her and searched for the line where she had to sign them. After she found it she looked up at Chandler who stood still rooted to his spot in the living room, trying to suppress his hiccups. Then she signed them.
TBC...
*************
AN: That's it for now. As I said this was really hard to write. So please leave a review and tell me how it was. The next part will be up soon. Maybe even sooner, but that lies in your hands. *hint - hint*