:year ten - age twenty-three:

I am lost again
With everything gone
And more alone
Than I have ever been
I expect you to understand
To feel it too
But I know that even if you will
You cannot ever help me
Nor can I
Ever help you
- Fear of Ghosts; The Cure

"It is your choice."

The words buzzed in the back of her head like a distant gnat. The Hellsing leader stared at that gloved hand offering her eternal life and forever after that.. A curious smile split her lips as many things interrupted her line of thinking. She clutched her cigar between her middle and ring finger, tasting the tobacco as it coated her tongue and invaded her lungs with poisonous spices.

Alucard watched her with a sudden appreciation. He had planned this for ten years, waiting and predicting her moves.. and now he had her at check mate. It seemed appropriate that he would turn her in the prison tower. Symbolic, he romantically envisioned releasing Rapunzel from the prison of her living flesh. His face distorted with madness and anticipation, hand twitching as the wine dribbled from the ivory tainted silk of his glove's material.

Integral just sat there, pressing the side of her head against the cool stone of the tower as she counted the seconds. Her eyes followed the clouds outside, as they drifted without pause into the azure sky.

"Master...?"

"Why don't you read my mind?" Integral repeated from before, her voice suggesting that such a request was beneath her notice.

Alucard's smile merely widened, his hand twitching as it stayed there. "I want to hear you say it. I want to hear you claim my blood, I want to hear from your lips an affirmation of the greatness you will be. I want to hear you deny your desire, I want to hear you reluctantly whisper disapproval as you sign your own fate. I want to hear it, Master."

"..What if I choose silence?"

"There is no median decision, Master. If you choose silence, you choose to deny my offer. You condemn yourself. You will die."

Integral reflected back to Alucard, intensely weighing her decisions. "How long have you planned this?"

"Years."

She laughed, the turn in her voice ringing in despair. "You win both ways, right? If the Queen sentences me to death, you are free to do as you will. If I mix blood with you, you are still free."

"As you will be."

"I will lose my honor, my integrity, and all that I value, Alucard."

"You will lose your humanity."

"I lost that a long time ago."

"No. You are still human. I am offering you the means to remove yourself of your fleshy prison, Master. This is your choice."

"My choice comes with consequences..."

"As all choices do."

Silence retorted Alucard's reply, Integral looking away and gazing back into the azure pool of clouds from her place near the window. God forbid Alucard move, he was too patient a man to be affected by his master's bull headed stubbornness. But even he knew that time was precious and it was running out quickly. Her pet's eyes suddenly widened, the pools of intense red flashing into pinpoints as he bared his fangs and roared. "Quick, Master! They are coming! They are approaching! You must choose quickly, you must take it now, it is your last chance."

She nodded curtly, and said nothing. Taking the cigar with a bound hand, toxic fumes exhaled from the cavity of her chest and drifted in chaotic swirls above her head. Alucard's features were nothing short of rushed, breathing unnaturally in great heaves, taut with anticipation.

BAM BAM BAM

With that selective warning, the sound of a key manipulating the gears of the lock disruptive the peace, a brass knob twisted and revealing two security guards dressed in royal drab. Alucard submerged backwards into the shadows, his mind racing with thoughts he never assumed would rapture his head, watching the proceedings from behind the curtain of darkness. One of the knaves was shorter than the other, red of mustache but darker of hair. He spoke slowly, deliberately, his accent hinting cockney despite his formal job description.

"Sir Integral Hellsing, your court hearing will proceed in half till. Haste in making preparations, her Majesty has specially selected a magistrate to carry out your sentence in her absence."

Integral was quiet as she tasted those words.. "What of Walter?"

"Mr. Ddollneazz will be witness. However Sir Alucard and Seras have been asked to not be present at the court for security reasons."

"Indeed. Gentlemen, I am ready."

The men looked at one another in a bit of alarm, the shorter one shrugged then proceeded to tread over to the young woman followed by his companion.

Master... There is still time. Still time now, if you wish to turn. Master... it is your choice.

Integral smiled as her mind echoed with Alucard's tempting words, standing with a guard on either side of her. She then proceeded to walk towards the door, her husky voice scarred by cigars replying back into the darkness. "I know. And I choose to live."

The royal court was nothing short of awe inspiring. Silk curtains hinted privacy and elegance in the massive hall. Aisles upon aisles of fine oak glossed sinew were filled with witnesses and victims to the hearings, each person talking, each person hurting emotionally, some people with missing appendages and few still who were orphaned. The people were victimized and betrayed by the woman they trusted to protect them, each witnessing a thing that should not have even been present. One person mumbled of a brother crushed by a building that toppled due to the Helicopter's collision, another whispered of a father who became a ghoul. The conversation was heated and angry, the room's temperature raised with the occupants' thirst for revenge.

Integral stood before the judge, wrists cuffed in silk to symbolically suggest her lack of freedom. The magistrate glanced through official papers and ignored the stack of complaints placed by the citizens of London for the atrocities committed only a year before.

"Miss Integral Hellsing. As you are aware, the Queen is occupied elsewhere on other official matters and as such I was asked to fill her place as judge of this trial. However, my power as judge as been withdrawn. What I am is not a judge. Instead, it has been requested that I be the Queen's voice.. These papers in my hands are her words, not mine. So whatever action that will proceed from this court of law will be an action decided by her Royal Majesty."

The crowd hushed in silence. There was an eerie ring of living, breathing bodies that vibrated behind Integral. She seemed bored. Semi-interested. As if, she all ready expected what words were to be spoken by the magistrate in the present court.

"Ahem... Her Majesty requests a disbandment of The Hellsing Organization until future notice. And, she adds, that the public will be notified when The Hellsing Organization should.. if it ever will... return in full operation."

Integral said nothing. She protected her feelings behind a plain facade, unreflective of what she was thinking.

"...Her Majesty also withdraws the honor of Knighthood from your title, and removes you from all official positions you previously laid claim on."

Silence. Utter silence.

"... To conclude this hearing, Her Majesty requests you be pardoned and removed from arrest. Court dismissed." CLANK.

The crowd reared with uproar, a wave of confusion swimming and interweaving over the people who felt uncompensated for the misdeeds and atrocities committed against them. Integral accompanied by three other officers and her loyal knave - Walter - squeezed through the heated crowd. The writhing sea of bodies threatened to crush the woman under their weight, and were it not for the protection of those officers and her servant, she might as well have been.

"Do you remember?"

"Do you remember?"

"Integra... Don't you remember...?"

Author's Notes: Dumdedum... The end of reflections. It was a short chapter, but the idea was overdone. I wrote this out of necessity rather than desire, so I wanted to get it over with as soon as I possibly could. The conclusion is better, I promise.