Cobra Stops the World (NOT!)

To Firefly25: Hey there Firefly! Yeah, I'm short on ideas right now, so I'm going with re-making old Joe episodes. Oh yeah, I think Lila may be very happy at the thought of adding to her jewelry collection. Enjoy the new chapter!

To todd fan: Hey there todd fan! Great to hear from you! I'm very happy you've decided to read more of my work. I'm a big fan of the Sidney Chronicles and your parodies, and I'm glad you've become a fan of my work. I am glad you liked this last chapter and I hope you liked the new chapter of "Black Ice". Feel free to read and review more of my work, and enjoy the new chapter!

To Red Witch: Hey there Red Witch! I read the new chapter of "Welcome to the Dark Side" and I loved it! Those Hellions can be quite scheming little backstabbers, aren't they, heh heh? Anyway, you bet your comic book collection that there's going to be trouble! If you thought the last chapter was good, you're going to love this new one! Enjoy!

To Readerrr Grrrl: Hey there, Reader! Well, Hawk knows that Starchild and Dragonfly are really the only two Misfits that ever really behave out of the whole lot. Thank you for the compliments, and enjoy the new chapter! I hope you keep on reading and reviewing!

Disclaimer: "This is like the gun I used in Nam." - Eric Cartman, SouthPark

Chapter 2: Cobra's Newest Plot Revealed!

The Pit rec room

"No! No! NO!!!" Jake Wildfire and Bulldog exclaimed as they watched a wrestling match on TV. It was a local wrestling show from a local promotion. Wrestling was a huge part of Jake's life, considering that the red-haired Boston-born mutant codenamed Red Dragon with dragon-based powers was born into a legendary wrestling family. Bulldog was an English Joe who fancied himself a knight

"Man, Red Dragon! What a move! I didn't think Captain Psycho could pull that off!" Bulldog exclaimed. "The guy weighs over 300 pounds!"

"Bill DeMott weighed over 300 pounds, and he could move like a cruiserweight." Jake smirked. "It's all about how you train and your conditioning." Suddenly, the screen went completely fuzzy. "Oh no!"

"Oi! Somebody get Trinity over here!" Bulldog hollered. "The bloody TV went bonkers!"

"Bulldog, look!" Jake said. Serpentor's face appeared on the screen.

"Good day, citizens of Earth. I am Serpentor, the leader of Cobra. I am seizing the airwaves of the world to warn you. For the past 12 hours, Cobra forces have attacked vital links in Alaska's pipelines, drilling platforms, and sea-faring oil tankers. Your civilization depends on the oil that was provided by them, and it shall collapse. The attacks shall continue unless the world agrees to surrender. Allow me to show you how serious my empire is." The screen switched to a group of oil tankers at sea. "These oil tankers are currently in the Pacific Ocean. But in a manner of seconds, they shall cease to exist." From somewhere on Earth, a pink laser was fired at a satellite with the Cobra insignia. The laser bounced off the satellite and went back down to Earth. Red Dragon and Bulldog saw the effects: The laser hit the oil tankers and the ships vanished. "As you can see, we can strike anywhere on Earth. The attacks shall not stop until you surrender!" The image went back to wrestling.

"I think Hawk had better know about this." Bulldog gulped. Jake blinked.

"No kidding."

The Pit meeting room, a couple minutes later

General Hawk stood next to a large screen. Sitting at the table were the Misfit Handlers, consisting of Low Light, Cover Girl, Shipwreck, and the Blind Master, as well as a few members of the Misfits: Wavedancer, Toad, Avalanche, and Spyder.

"Shorty, you're too young for this stuff." Lance said. "Go back to the Manor."

"I'm on this team too!" Spyder snapped. "Why can't I help? You guys get to go on missions and stuff! Trinity has been on more missions than me, and I'm older than them!"

"Only when it was really needed, Spyder." Althea explained.

"Trinity possesses amazing mental powers, Spyder." Cover Girl explained gently. "We only call them in when we need telepaths. Spyder, we know you want to help…"

"Not to mention somebody has to watch Lance's back." Spyder added, pointing at Lance with her thumb. Todd chuckled.

I'm not surprised. It's pretty obvious that little ol' Spyder has a thing for Lance. Todd mentally chuckled.

"I even made a costume!" Spyder pointed to her costume, a red-and-blue number obviously influenced by Spider-Man's costume, only her mask was a simple eye-covering mask, not the full-head mask Spidey used.

"Shorty, I don't want you getting blown to bits." Lance groaned, feeling yet another headache coming on. As soon as this is over, I'm seriously taking a sabbatical!

"Ahem!" General Hawk cleared his throat. The Joes and Misfit members snapped to attention. "Thank you very much. Now then, boys and girls…" Hawk motioned to the screen. The incident with the oil tankers that Bulldog and Red Dragon saw earlier was played. "This was seen a few minutes ago on all TV stations throughout the world."

"He made a bunch of oil tankers disappear." Lance snorted. "David Copperfield could do that."

"This is no magic trick, Lance." Low Light said.

"Wouldn't be if Cobra was involved." Shipwreck grumbled. "I gave up a parade in my honor in Tijuana for this."

"Shipwreck, we don't want another international incident involving you!" Cover Girl snapped.

"Like that time he was caught making out with the Italian Ambassador's daughter?" Low Light snickered.

"DAD!" Althea snapped.

"Hey, that wasn't my fault!" Shipwreck exclaimed in self-defense. "She jumped me! That woman was crazy!"

"Look, as much as I love cracking jokes at Shipwreck's expense…" Hawk started.

"HEY!" Shipwreck exclaimed. "I'm not a complete foul-up…"

"No, you're just most of the way there." Spyder grinned.

"Anyway, we got work to do. If Cobra keeps this up, no civilized part of Earth will be able to get oil for power. Serpentor is right about one thing: If we don't stop him and Cobra, then civilization as we know it will cease to exist."

Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes have a new mission! Can they stop Cobra? Can they save the world? Will Lance take a sabbatical? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!