AN: y'all requested it, so here's chapter two!

PS: The song was PINK: Don't let me get me.

Pps: Another good song in this chapter. Linkin Park: By Myself

I don't feel like me anymore. The Kids Next Door was my life! It was the thing that kept me going. I had a life then! How would you feel if everything you lived for was ripped from beneath your feet like a rug, making you fall flat on your face?

What do I do now? My friends won't talk to me. They're afraid I'll give vital information to enemies. I can see the disappointment, anger, and fear in their eyes, especially Kuki's. Oh god, I miss her more than anything. She was my best friend. I trusted her. Now look. I'm alone with my worst enemy again, just like before the Kids Next Door.

What do I do to ignore them behind me?
Do I follow my instincts blindly?
Do I hide my pride / from these bad dreams
And give in to sad thoughts that are maddening?
Do I / sit here and try to stand it?
Or do I / try to catch them red - handed?
Do I trust some and get fooled by phoniness,
Or do I trust nobody and live in loneliness?
Because I can't hold on / when I'm stretched so thin
I make the right moves but I'm lost within
I put on my daily façade but then
I just end up getting hurt again

I guess I could just ignore them ignoring me, but then I'll only have the thoughts in my head to talk to, which is just stupid. Would you want to talk to someone that was constantly telling you that you were worse than the gum on the bottom of someone's shoes and should just die to do the world a favor? I didn't think so.

Well, the voice isn't so bad. The only reason I don't pull the trigger this minute is to spite it.

by myself myself
I ask why, but in my mind
I find I can't rely on myself

myself
I ask why, but in my mind
I find I can't rely on myself

When you can't trust yourself, you can't trust anyone, can you?

I can't hold on
To what I want when I'm stretched so thin
It's all too much to take in
I can't hold on
To anything watching everything spin
With thoughts of failure sinking in

If I
Turn my back I'm defenseless
And to go blindly seems senseless
If I hide my pride and let it all go on / then they'll
Take from me 'till everything is gone
If I let them go I'll be outdone
But if I try to catch them I'll be outrun
If I'm killed by the questions like a cancer
Then I'll be buried in the silence of the answer

by myself
myself
I ask why, but in my mind
I find I can't rely on myself
myself
I ask why, but in my mind
I find I can't rely on myself

I can't hold on
To what I want when I'm stretched so thin
It's all too much to take in
I can't hold on
To anything watching everything spin
With thoughts of failure sinking in

I'm a failure to myself, to the Kids Next Door, to my dad, to the world.


How do you think / I've lost so much
I'm so afraid / I'm out of touch
How do you expect / I will know what to do
When all I know / Is what you tell me to
Don't you (know)
I can't tell you how to make it (go)
No matter what I do, how hard I (try)
I can't seem to convince myself (why)
I'm stuck on the outside

I'm trapped on the outside, looking in and no one will help me.

I can't help myself.



I can't hold on
To what I want when I'm stretched so thin
It's all too much to take in
I can't hold on
To anything watching everything spin
With thoughts of failure sinking in

I can't hold on
To what I want when I'm stretched so thin
It's all too much to take in
I can't hold on
To anything watching everything spin
With thoughts of failure sinking...

Maybe I should just die. That way, I can defeat my enemy and end the pain. Kill two birds with one stone.