Cobra Stops the World (NOT!)

To Sparky Genocide: Hey there Sparky! Man, it has been so long since I last heard from you, man! It has been way too long since I last heard from you! Where the heck have you been, man?! I love your "Welcome Back, Kotter" idea, although I don't think I will be able to use it in this particular fic. However, I will see if I can still put a reference in somewhere for you. I hope you appear more, and enjoy the new chapter!

To todd fan: Hey there todd fan! I could imagine that Spyder does have a tiny crush on Lance. It definitely would help explain why she seems to hate Kitty so much in Red Witch's Misfit fics and why she seems to like to be around him so much. Keep it up, tf! You can make it through those stupid exams! Hopefully, this new chapter will make it a little easier on you! Enjoy!

To Red Witch: Hey there Red Witch! I read the new chapter of "Welcome to the Dark Side" and I loved it! Man, Evan is definitely a leader type. I think Monet is in big trouble. And you bet this thing is going to be insane. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait to read more from you!

To the pilot of eva unit 04: Hey there pilot! You remember the original episode, huh? I had to go on a Joe website and find the summary. Yeah, the part where Scarlet beat up all those Cobras rocked. Serpentor owning Pinky and the Brain? Well, I don't think those shows' vibes match up to well, even though I can see Brain and Serpentor sharing plans. Anyway, enjoy the new chapter!

To Aaron: Hey there, Aaron! You bet this will be interesting. I'm glad you liked the Spyder scene. I miss the old GI Joe episodes, too. You can get them on DVD, you know. I think I may pick them up. What'll happen next? Why don't we find out? Enjoy the new chapter!

To Raliena: Hey there Rae! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, not all civilization relies on oil, but it is still a major source of energy, and if Serpentor destroys that, the world is in big trouble. Don't worry, the Joes and Misfits will save the day! They've gotten out of tighter pickles than this one! Enjoy the new chapter!

Disclaimer: "Who's driving this thing, Stevie Wonder?!" - Bruce Willis as John MacClaine, Die Hard

Chapter 3: Assignments!

The Pit

In the GI Joe communications room, Hawk and Dial-Tone were talking. In response to the new crisis that Serpentor had created, the Joes and the Misfits were given their assignments, and they went straight to work.

"Dial-Tone, were you able to pinpoint the source of Cobra's transmission? If we find it, we could shut them down once and for all!"

"I'm afraid not, Hawk." Dial-Tone sighed, shaking his head. "The signal was bounced off a satellite. I can't tell where it came from."

"Alright, call Duke and Ace." Hawk ordered. Dial-Tone immediately opened a channel.

"Got them on the horn." Dial-Tone looked up. Duke's face appeared on a screen.

"Duke, did you receive Cobra's transmission earlier?" Hawk asked.

"Loud, clear, and ugly, Hawk." Duke replied. "What in the name of God happened to those tankers?"

"They simply vanished, Duke." Dial-Tone shrugged.

"Things don't simply vanish, Dial-Tone. Especially things the size of oil tankers!" Hawk exclaimed. "We've got to find out what the heck happened to those things!" A beeping was heard from the console. Dial-Tone checked the console.

"Incoming transmission from Scarlett and Quicksilver." Dial-Tone said.

"Oh, I have to hear this. Is Pietro calling to whine again?" Hawk grumbled, crossing his arms.

"No sir, It's Scarlett herself."

"Patch her in." Hawk nodded. Dial-Tone did so and the red-haired Joe's face appeared on another screen.

"Is he on?" Pietro's voice came from the screen. "Tell Hawk this is boring!"

"Quiet, Quicksilver!" Scarlett barked at him, then turned to the screen. "Sorry about that, Hawk." She was calling from a Joe motorcycle that was riding on a freeway. Quicksilver was using his power of superhuman speed to race alongside her. "Recent intelligence reports have told us that Cobra has a new cloaking device system that is capable of hiding ships from even the most sensitive of tracking devices. Maybe the Dreadnok Virus cooked it up."

"No way!" Pietro countered. "Where's the part where Toad dies? Virus wouldn't build anything unless it can be used to kill Todd in some way."

"He does have a point, Scarlett." Hawk agreed, scratching his chin in thought. "One one other member of Cobra has the tech to pull that off: Destro."

"Agreed." Scarlett nodded. "Pietro and I are going to check out a Cobra hideout that was in the West Coast."

"Why can the West Coast guys handle it?" Pietro whined.

"They're busy." Scarlett said. "Besides, it's nothing we can't handle. And if anything goes wrong, we always got the secret weapon." The redhead smirked, pointing behind her with her thumb.

"Alright. You and Quicksilver check it out, Scarlett." Hawk nodded.

"Yo Joe!" Scarlett replied, cutting off her transmission.

"There was another Joe base recently discovered in the Pacific." Dial-Tone added. "Perhaps we may find leads there."

"Right." Hawk agreed. "Punch up Deep Six and Wet Suit." Dial-Tone called them out. They appeared on the screen. "Wet Suit, Deep Six, take Wavedancer with you and investigate that newly-found Cobra base in the Pacific."

"Piece of Fishcake, Duke." Wet Suit grinned. "We'll have those Cobra gutted like fresh fish." The solitary-by-nature Deep Six looked at Wet Suit strangely.

"You have a very strange sense of humor, Wet Suit. Do you know that?" Deep Six sighed, shaking his head.

Cobra HQ

"MUAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!" Serpentor cackled as he sat on his throne, sipping some wine from a golden goblet. Destro was with him. "Destro, I must congratulate you. Your cloaking device is marvelous! Cobra shall be guaranteed victory!"

"Indeed, Serpentor. But you must be warned: The Joes will strike back." Destro warned.

"True, Destro. How true. But how long can those Joes last without their precious fuel? Even they will run dry at some point."

"Perhaps." Destro agreed. "But personally, I prefer to celebrate after a war is won."

Well, well, well! Looks like the Joes may get some answers after all! What insanity will happen next? Will the Joes get some answers? How will the Misfits help? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!